song(s) for this chapter: when i see u X fantasia
It'd been two weeks since New Years, and they hadn't spoke another word about the kiss they shared. They saw each other frequently, due to the fact that they basically shared friends now and Gionni was still getting into the swing of the whole pick up and drop off process with Nayeli.
On her end, she was scared. Nothing and nobody had that strong of an effect on her as Gionni did in that simple kiss. There was no tongue, and little to no touching, yet she felt it was one of the most intimate and passionate touches she'd felt in years. She'd just gotten out of a six year relationship and a man she'd known for four and a half months could set her feelings ablaze like this.
So she was scared as hell.
She'd talked to both of her friends about it and they'd both given her the same advice to just talk to him. Get it off her chest and just be honest. But that's really not what she wanted to hear because she knew they were right. She'd resolved to pay her mom a visit tonight after work, just to get her thoughts on it. Her mom always gave her the best advice, and this was something she truly was conflicted on.
"Ms. B!" she heard a tiny voice call out to her. The children were currently indulging in silent reading, well as silent as a group of four and five year olds could manage. She looked up to see one of the younger kids, Taylor, waving her hand wildly.
"Yes, Taylor?" Nadira asked, making the short walk over to the table she was seated at, looking over at the empty seat that usually sat Nayeli, which was empty. She wondered if everything was okay with her and her father, she knew their custody hearing was soon and that was possibly why she'd been absent. Taylor needed help with a big word in her book and Nadira was of course happy to help.
The joy of her job was to watch these children learn and develop. She loved helping them realize new things and discover their own intelligence more and more every day. It made her feel good knowing she was making a difference in the world, sending these kids out of her classroom with more knowledge than they had the previous day, she'd never give it up.
Unlike other teachers on her floor, Nadira purposely had her kids reading one grade above their level. So unless she saw a specific need, her children started reading at a first grade level. Kids like Nayeli and Taylor who were doing exceptionally well got moved up. Since her class was relatively small she was able to give each child individual attention as much as she could and assess their needs often.
Silent reading led straight into dismissal, and by 2:10, her class was lined up and ready to go meet their parents. They typically got dismissed before the bigger kids because they'd had too many incidents where the 6th graders would practically bulldoze over the babies and they wanted to avoid it at all costs.
"Bye Ms. B! See you later!" Taylor called out to her, walking hand in hand with her aunt. A multitude of other children said their goodbyes as they boarded the school bus or jumped into the car with their parents.
As Nadira watched the busses peel off, she thought she saw a very familiar Audi swinging into the lot, making her pulse speed up. As badly as she wanted to turn on her heel and run back in the classroom, her feet were glued to the spot she stood in until she was face to face with Gionni.
While she'd seen him within the two weeks, she hadn't been alone with him.
"Hey, Dira," he greeted her simply, leaning against his car door. He was still in slacks and a dress shirt, letting her know he most likely just left the office. His tie was pulled loose and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Nadira couldn't help but to shamelessly rake her eyes over him.
"H-hey, Gionni. You okay?" she asked him. He did look a bit stressed, instantly causing her a bit of worry. "What's wrong?" she inquired, taking two steps closer to him.
"I'm fine. Are you okay?" he wondered, eyebrow raised. She knew he was obviously referring to her refusal to talk about anything that happened, or at least acknowledge it. "Wait, I'm not here to talk about that right now." He was sure to emphasize.
"Nadira, I need a favor," he began. "This whole hearing is getting out of hand, her mother has character witnesses and a good ass lawyer I'm not sure how she was able to afford, and my lawyer suggested I bring in character witnesses of my own outside of my family and well..." he trailed off, hoping she'd get the hint.
"Of course! Yes, absolutely," she answered quickly. He knew how hard he was struggling to get his daughter in his custody full time and if she could help him out she would do whatever she could. Upon hearing her answer, he let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank you so much, it means a lot," he said, reaching his arm out and pulling her into a quick hug, sending familiar sparks all over her body where their skin touched. Once he pulled back, she found herself missing his comforting embrace, but remembered she was due at her parents home soon.
"No problem at all, G. I gotta go though, my mama is expecting me at the house. I'll see you later?" she asked him, beginning to back up slowly to head to her car.
"Yeah. We gotta talk, let me know when you're free aight?" she nodded at him, sending him a final wave before she returned to the school building, panting heavily just from being around him too long and being in his arms for ten seconds.
She rushed to lock up and grab all of her necessary things before running home to grab Chanel and head over to her parents house.
Once she was there, she let Chanel out into their backyard where she heard Jasper and Jasmine barking, so she could play with them before she used her key to unlock the back door. "Mommy! Daddy!" she yelled, seeing as the living room was empty.
"Upstairs!" she heard her mother call. Hopping up by twos, she pushed her mom's bedroom door open, seeing her sat at her vanity, applying some light makeup, although in Nadira's opinion her mother never needed makeup. She was very beautiful and youthful looking, you wouldn't think she had a thirty three year old son at all.
"Hi mommy, how are you?" she said happily, giving her a kiss on her cheek.
"Hey, Love bug. I'm great, your father is taking me in on a date," she mused, doing a happy dance in her seat.
"Aww! I won't keep you too long, mama," she cooed, flopping down on her bed. Her parents were her ultimate goal relationship wise. They'd been married almost 35 years now. She saw their ups and downs as a kid but one thing she never saw was her mother abandoning her dad or vice versa.
They were always there for each other, for better or worse, just like it was supposed to be. They raised three beautiful children together and built their wealth brick by brick, side by side. Everything they had, they got it together, and that's all she ever wanted.
"You know mommy has all the time in the world for you, my darling," her mother replied sweetly, turning to face her. "I can see it all in your face, baby. Tell me what's wrong," she continued, getting up to join her on the bed. Khadija leaned up against the headboard and Nadira took the opportunity to lay across her mother's lap, just like she would as a kid when she needed advice from her mom.
"I'm so conflicted, mama. It's only been three months since the breakup and I know for a fact I'm not healed from it. I saw him in the store two weeks ago and I nearly drank myself into a coma! He hurt me so bad, mama. I never thought it'd end like that, and it stings still. I-I been questioning myself ever since," she admitted sadly, staring up at the ceiling.
"I haven't been happy, at least not internally. I don't look at myself the same way in the mirror anymore," she sniffed, as this was the first time she talked about what she was struggling with. "And then! Here comes this man. I have never, and I mean never, felt so strongly about a person i've know for such a short time. It doesn't make any sense to me, ma. Everything about him makes me feel so...seen. I feel like I'm on cloud nine when I'm around him. It's so frustrating!" she exclaimed, huffing loudly.
"What's so frustrating about it, Dira?" her mother asked, now smoothing her hand over her daughters thick hair.
"I'm not supposed to be feeling like this, mama. He-he doesn't know anything about my...issue. He doesn't know about the miscarriages or anything and it scares me that I'm feeling this way. He's not gonna want me this way, mommy. Nobody will, I got all these broken parts and nobody wants to deal with all that. I know I'm supposed to be content with being alone, but-but I wanna be in love again. I wanna be happily in love like you and daddy, like Kareem and Danae, I want that. I feel like he can give it to me, and it's so frustrating," she spoke in a shaky voice.
Her mother discreetly wiped at her eyes as Nadira spoke. She was so used to her daughter being so cheerful, so giving and loving she never realized that she could be empty herself, and it was hurting her.
"Listen to me, babygirl. Self love is hard, you hear me? It's not easy, baby. I know you often hear that no one will love you unless you love yourself but if you let someone care for you, let someone hold you up, let someone pour into you and you keep working on you, it'll come, the love from them and the love for yourself. You can't force love upon yourself, it won't be genuine. You have to organically begin to appreciate everything that you are, the beautiful and wonderful woman that you are, Nadira Soraya Berkley. Your body doesn't define you, your problems do not define you. If that man wants to be there for you, and he genuinely cares for you, then why won't you let him, Dira?" she asked, still stroking Nadira's hair as tears fell slowly from her eyes.
"I know you can do it, my angel. You're so strong, and so resilient. I believe in you, baby," Khadija consoled her daughter, reaching down to wipe the fallen tears from her face.
"Thank you, mommy," Nadira mumbled. Before her mother could reply, she heard her father's voice booming through the house.
"KHADIJA! I hope yo' ass ready! I'm not finna be waiting forever for you, girl," he fussed, making his way up to their bedroom, causing Nadira to laugh. "Oh! Hey love bug," he cheesed. He'd never admit it, but Nadira was his favorite child.
"Hey, daddy. You had a good day?" she asked him, leaning up off her mom to show her dad some attention.
"Man hell no, your brother gets on my damn nerves," he continued to complain, making Nadira laugh harder.
After leaving Nayeli's school, Gionni had another meeting with Guiliana about the case since she was going to represent him. He'd managed to get Nayeli's ballet teacher as a character witness as well and he was hopeful that this would work in his favor.
He made his way back home with a sleeping Nayeli in the backseat, just as tired himself. As tired as he was, he couldn't get Nadira off of his mind. After they kissed, his mind was just completely fogged with thoughts of her. Not only did he enjoy the feeling of her lips against his, he felt like it solidified just how deep his feelings were. He couldn't seem to wrap his head around how fast it happened. He never experienced a whirlwind of emotions like this, and the fact that she wasn't acknowledging it was kind of driving him insane.
"Dawg, why won't she just talk to me?" Gionni asked Xavier as he sat in his chair, getting his hair cut.
Xavier chuckled a bit, wrapping the barbering cape around his friends shoulders. He'd never known his friend to chase women, so he knew Nadira was something very special to him. "Maybe she's nervous, G. It's probably something goin' on that we don't know about. Ain't she just get out of a relationship?" he inquired. "Coming out of a relationship ain't the same for everyone, she could be the type that moves on slow as hell,"
"Man, I get that. But she could just tell me that, bro. She got me so stuck, I just wanna know where her head is at, you feel me?" he expressed, going to reply to one of her messages.
"Well you know you gotta attribute some of it to your anxiety. You're getting hella attached to her, G. The fact that she's avoiding you is gonna bother you, even if you didn't like her as much as you do. But since you do, your anxiety is gonna act up," he said honestly.
Gionni really hadn't confronted the fact that he was in fact attached to Nadira. He hated that part of getting to know someone new, because once he was attached it was very hard for him to let go.
"But beside that, you just gotta give her time. She gon open up when she's ready to, you just gotta be prepared to hear whatever it is she gotta say,"
Xavier told him that a week ago and he'd try to remember it. Putting it into practice was much easier said. He was doing well most days, but when he saw her in person today he couldn't help himself. He hoped she'd reach out to him soon because Lord knows he had a lot to get off his chest.
"What is it that you like so much about her, G?" Rayne asked as she, Xavier and Vinny sat around his living room eating pizza.
"When I first met her, I felt like I had known her for my whole life. Everything feels right and in place when she comes around, you know? She cares about me, she doesn't even have to say she does because she shows me all the time, and I care so much about her. I never get tired of hearing her voice, seeing her face, none of it. You know how you meet someone and you're instantly attracted to them but it just fades? It never faded with her, I want more with her," he spoke freely, leaning back against his couch.
"Gionni! You really like her huh? Aww, I'm crying," she cooed, making him laugh.
"Yeah I like her a lot, I hope she gives me a chance to show her,"
Once he pulled up to their home, it was already 8:30. They'd been at Guiliana and Christian's house longer than planned and due to her schedule being kept so well, Nayeli was basically gone for the night.
"C'mon babygirl," he said, carefully lifting her out of her seat. Once he got the car locked, he took her straight up to her bedroom, putting her in a large t-shirt and her bonnet covering her hair up before tucking her into bed and giving her a kiss goodnight.
He fought so hard for her, he'd be completely heartbroken if his custody wasn't granted and she was forced to go back to where he knew she was being mistreated by someone who was supposed to love her. Nayeli was the greatest love he'd ever known, and he couldn't handle even the thought of being apart from her.
When she was a baby, he learned just how bad his separation anxiety was. At that time, he was just starting out in his company, mainly consulting and advertising and it took up a good chunk of his days. He'd leave her home with Ameera and no sooner than he arrived to his small office, his mind was working overdrive.
He needed updates on her throughout the day, he needed to know where she was and if she was okay physically. When he knew he had to leave her in the morning, he'd have headaches and some nights he struggled with nausea as well. He hadn't struggled with it in such a long time, and it was pretty bad for the first four to six months of her life.
He was given a prescription for his anxiety and was forced to use it when he she was newborn so he could function properly without stressing himself completely about his daughter. So he knew that being apart from her after this trying time, would probably have it flare up again dangerously. For her health and his sanity they needed to be together.
The next morning, Nayeli was up and alert at 6 A.M, excited for school. She hated missing just one day, so she was more than happy to go back.
"Nayeli, you hungry?" Gionni asked as she sat at their island, dressed in her uniform. He was thankful her school required uniforms because if it was up to him he'd put her in a variant of the same clothes every day anyway. Her hair was slicked up into a side ponytail, one of the styles he could manage without his sister giving him step by step instructions. He tied a maroon bow in her hair to match her uniform skirt and put her diamond studs in her ears as well.
"Yes, can I have oatmeal? Please," she smiled. He nodded and prepared to cook it for her, their favorite, which is brown sugar with strawberries on top.
"Daddy..." Nayeli called out, causing him to turn around to face her.
"Yes, baby?" he leaned against the counter, giving her his full attention.
"Do I have to go back to mama's house?" she mumbled under her breath, looking down at her hands in her lap.
"No, Nayeli. You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to go, okay? You can stay here with daddy," he told her, walking over to her, taking a seat next to her at the island.
"You-you promise? It's scary at her house, I wanna stay with you," she continued, staring up at him. He lifted her from her chair, sitting her in his lap and hugged her close to him, slightly rubbing her back. He was genuinely angry at that point and wanted to know what the hell had her so scared to be at her mom's house and why she never said anything.
"I promise, baby. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay?" he assured her.
After she was a bit calmer, he fixed her bowl of oatmeal, and made himself one to eat as he drove to the office. She finished fairly quickly and he made sure she had her lunch before getting her into her jacket and scarf before walking her out to the car.
On the way to school, she began talking his ear off about her classmates and of course her lovely kindergarten teacher.
"Ms. B is so pretty daddy! And she is always really nice to me and Taylor," she referenced her best friend, making him smile. He noticed she was becoming more social with the kids in her class again which was a major improvement from a few weeks ago.
"I think you should get a girlfriend like Ms. B daddy," she said in the middle of her rant, casually, making his eyes go wide. There's no way she could know anything about that...he thought to himself.
"Oh yeah? Why is that, munchkin?" he asked smoothly, although he was slightly panicked.
"Because! She's pretty and she's nice, and she gives me gold stars and suckers when I do good on my math problems," she smiled innocently, making him breathe out a sigh of relief.
"So my girlfriend has to give you candy? What about me?" he played into her reasoning making her giggle.
"Maybe you can have some too, if you're good at math like me," she said proudly, making him laugh as he pulled into her schools parking lot where he saw Nadira greeting little kids with a huge smile on her face.
She wore a short plaid skirt and a black top that went with the black and grey in the skirt. Her hair was up today, leaving him a perfect view of her face, which he found himself staring too hard at before snapping out of his trance and stepping out of the car.
He unbuckled Nayeli and helped her down safely. "Have a good day at school, babygirl," he told her, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
"Thanks daddy! See you later!" she said, running off to meet her teacher whom she greeted with a hug, warming his heart.
"We've been waiting for you, little miss. C'mon let's get out of the cold," he heard Nadira say placing a hand on her back and leading her into the building. Before she entered the doors, she looked over her shoulder and sent him a wave, making his heartbeat skip. He waved back to her quickly before hopping back in his Audi to speed off to work.
Once he got there, he used his work phone to call someone he thought could help him out with getting Nayeli to open up about what exactly was happening at her mother's home before the hearing.
"This is Saija Ford, how may I help you," he heard Saija's voice flow through the phone.
"Hey Saij, its G," he replied.
"Oh! Hey G, how's it going?" she asked him with a hint of surprise in her voice.
"Everything's alright. I just had a question for you really quick. Are you accepting new clients?" he inquired, sitting back in his chair. He figured taking her to a child therapist could help her talk through her issue with less pressure than it'd be talking to him about it.
"I am! Who did you have in mind?"
"Uh, my daughter," he said apprehensively. They talked a bit more about her and were able to successfully set up an appointment for her this Friday and on Tuesday, which were helpful because the hearing was the following Friday. Hopefully she could help Nayeli express herself more.
Friday afternoon came more quickly than expected. Gionni had Nayeli's appointment with Saija on his calendar so after he picked her up from ballet, they were headed straight there. They entered at the large office building walking hand in hand, greeting the receptionist.
"We have an appointment with Dr. Ford, Nayeli Cartier," he told her. The receptionist did a little typing before printing out a pass for him and directing him to the 7th floor.
Once there, Saija's assistant greeted them with a smile. "Hi sweetie, you must be Nayeli!" she said, kneeling down to shake her small hand. Nayeli simply nodded in response, a little timid, putting her hand out to shake.
"Dr. Ford is going to be out in just a moment, but you all can make yourselves comfortable," she said once showings them to her spacious office. Gionni thanked her as Nayeli stook looking around the room. He'd told her where they were going and what she was going to do, but unlike him, she'd never been to therapy before.
Saija entered the room, with a smile, giving Gionni a handshake and kneeling down to greet Nayeli.
"Hi sweetheart. I'm Dr. Ford, what's your name?" she asked, giving her eye contact.
"Nayeli..." his daughter spoke timidly.
"Hi Nayeli, can you tell me how old you are?""
"I'm four," she said, holding up her four fingers.
"Good! Now, we're gonna talk a little bit okay? Do you mind if your daddy goes to sit right out there?" Saija asked, pointing at the chair in her secretary's waiting area. Nayeli quickly shot her head up to look at her father.
"It's okay, baby. I'm not leaving, remember what we talked about?" he said, referring to the discussion they had about what therapy was in the simplest terms he could manage, just about telling the doctor how she was really feeling and telling the truth, even things she hadn't told him.
Nayeli nodded slowly and turned back to Saija. "It's okay," she said, and Gionni dismissed himself quietly.
To occupy himself while he waited, he scrolled through various social medias, and responded to some work emails before he got a text from Nadira, making him raise his brow.
Nadira🍯: hey, gionni
G: wassup Dira?
Nadira🍯: nothing really, i just wanted to apologize for disappearing like i did. i've really had a lot going on and i've been trying to cope with it. im sorry ☹️
Nadira🍯: you told me to let you know when im free, does Saturday sound okay?
Nadira🍯: I hope you're not mad 🥺
She sent the messages back to back, shocking him even further. He circled his thumbs around each other, trying to figure out what he wanted to say before he began typing.
G: no need to apologize, Dira. I completely understand, don't worry.
G: Saturday is perfect
Nadira🍯: and you sure you're not mad?
G: yes ma'am lol. why don't you believe me?
Nadira🍯: because 🥺 you haven't called me mama and you always call me mama
Gionni laughed out loud at her message. He didn't even notice he wasn't doing it, but he was more than happy to continue if she liked it that much.
G: 😂😂 im sorry mama, i didn't realize it.
They continued to talk, and while Gionni was waiting on Nai to finish her session, he planned out the date he'd be taking Nadira on the next day.
Excited was an understatement.
About an hour later, Nayeli and Saija emerged from her office hand in hand, both laughing about something.
Well that went well, he thought to himself as he walked over to meet them.
"Okay sweetheart, let me talk to your daddy really fast, alright?" Saija asked Nayeli nodded and grabbed her dad's phone from his hand going to take a seat.
"How'd it go?" he asked, rubbing a hand over his hair.
"You got a smart kid, G. She's like a little baby genius and she's so sweet. It's didn't take her long to open up but I didn't ask her anything too tough today since we're just starting out. Tuesday, I'm sure she'll be more than willing to talk about it," Saija nodded. "I think it'd be good for her to keep coming regularly as well, even after the hearing. It'll be good for her to have the outlet," she continued.
"I think so too, it'll probably help her be more expressive as well," he agreed, looking over at Nayeli who was now watching some video on youtube. "Thanks for taking her on in such short notice, Saij, I appreciate it," he said gratefully.
"Of course! I'm happy to help. I'll see y'all Tuesday," she smiled, momentarily looking down at her phone which was buzzing out of control. A smirk spread across her face slowly and she looked back up at Gionni before speaking.
"Have fun tomorrow, G," she winked, making him laugh loudly as she retreated to her office.
hi guys ☺️
i hope y'all liked this chapter! i enjoyed writing this one. i love nadira's character a lot.
they're going on a daaaaaaaaate 🥰
if you don't know the song this chapter im lowkey judging you 💀
anyway, tell me how you felt about the chapter :), leave some comments and a vote, it's much appreciated ☺️
till next time 💓