"This is a tricky situation.
I've only got myself to blame.
It's just a simple fact of life.
It can happen to anyone.."
***
It's been two days since I told Niall and Christina about Zayn. I had to cancel on them for lunch today as Zayn had asked me to join him for lunch. We decided on going to a different café, a bit far from the campus.
After our classes, we make our way to the parking lot. I'm confused as I am seeing that his motorcycle is not there. Looking at my facial expressions, he explains that had decided to take his car today.
"I didn't know that you had both.. Your father spoiled you a bit too much don't you think?" I tease and raise my eyebrows at him.
"Yup, he did. He bought me the car first but then when he saw that I was interested in motorcycles a bit too much and was investing in buying one, he got me that on my birthday this year," he shrugs.
"So weren't you happy about it? You didn't have to save up for it."
"Yeah, well I mean I'm not complaining, but you see, all my life I have been handed things by my father as he is a successful business man and all. So, for once, I wanted to buy something that I loved or desired and not to be reminded that it was a wastage of his money or whatsoever. I like to be on my own now, since I have moved out," he explains.
"Aww that's actually really sweet of you. Being independent and all," I know that I sound like a mother who is proud of her son for learning how to ride a bicycle for the first time, but I don't care.
"Yup, I guess so," he says as he unlocks his car. He starts to back it out of the parking spot after we have settled and continues,
"But you know what's the advantage of having that motorcycle?"
"What?"
"Well, it goes along my 'bad boy' reputation," he mocks my words from the other day.
"Yeah yeah sure," I say sarcastically.
"I mean, you fell for it," he smirks.
"Well maybe because of that reputation but not because of you owning that thing. To be honest, I was terrified when I found out that you own one," I tell him and we both laugh.
On our way there we get fully immersed in the conversation. As we reach there, we choose to sit at the table outside as the weather is bearable today.
We're talking about different things as we eat our food. He asks me about my friend group and all. When I ask about his friends, he just says that he's going to introduce them to me soon. On asking how soon and if I should be worried, he told me that we're going to meet them in the next few days or so and that I have nothing to be worried about.
As we are talking, I have that strange feeling again. The feeling you get when someone is starring at you. The feeling of being watched...
No. This can't be happening again. Especially not right now.
Get your shit together!
I decide to just shrug it off. I have had enough of this. I'm done living with the fear of my past chasing me.
After finishing our meals, we decide to head back. I tell him to wait in the car as I use the restroom and he leaves. After using the restroom, I start making my way to the car. As I'm trying to look for Zayn's car, from the corner of my eye I see that someone awfully familiar is standing there against the wall of the cafe and I freeze. I don't want to feed my fears and turn to the side to look.
It can be anyone right?
I can't help but notice the black coat.. I can't look at the person directly but it reminds me of the day when Zayn came to me to ask for my number outside the cafe near the campus, when I was with Christina and Niall. He was standing there, against the wall, in a black long coat. I remember that clearly.
It can't be... I have to look.
I can't help it and turn to look as soon as the flashback to that day is over. At first, I see no one standing there.
It can't be...
My eyes roam around for a moment and then I look that a few steps away there is a homeless guy sitting on the ground with a sign. Maybe it was him that I saw from the corner of the eye. I can't help but notice that he isn't wearing anything black at all.
I'm pretty sure that I saw a tall figure covered in black clothing standing there...
All of the sudden I feel a hand on my shoulder and I jolt. I take a deep breath and turn around slowly, my eyes shut tight.
"Hey, it's okay. It's me. What's wrong?" I hear Zayn's voice and I feel his hands cup my face as I open my eyes slowly.
"Umm nothing.. you just scared me," I say hesitantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just sitting in the car looking at you, you froze at the spot and turned to search for something. I thought that you may have forgotten where the car was, so I came to get you," he explains.
"Yeah, I was looking for you. I just get scared pretty easily. Let's just go now?"
He nods and we start walking towards the car.
"Maybe I should scare you more often then? This one was unintentional though," he says cheekily as we sit inside the car.
"Just because I let you go this time doesn't mean I will do that every time. I know self-defense, so don't act all surprised when I end up breaking your nose or giving you a black eye," I shrug with a smug look on my face.
"Okay, sorry Ma'am. Don't want you to ruin such a pretty face now, do I?" he raises his hands in surrender.
"Oh God, you are so full of yourself, aren't you?"
"Oh, you have no idea," he says with a smirk and turns his head to look back on the road.
After a while of driving, he breaks the comfortable silence.
"So, where to?"
"Wherever you can drop me off," I say looking at the time. My shift starts soon.
"My place it is then?" he winks.
"Not anytime soon. I was referring to my work or my house. My shift starts in half an hour. You can either drop me off there or at my house and I can walk there. Whichever is closer."
"No, you're not walking there. I can drop you off," he says sternly and I can't help but notice the sudden change in his tone.
He drops me off there and I ask him if I'll get to see him in the evening as he walks me home every night, to which he says that he is busy tonight as he has plans with his friends, but he can cancel them if I want.
I didn't want him to cut off his friends because of me and also, I don't want to act clingy when I'm not even his girlfriend yet. So, I tell him that it's okay. I kiss his cheek and say goodbye.
As I make my way inside, I see April standing there with both of her hands flat on the counter. By the looks of it, I think she just got here as she still has her bag on her shoulder and I'm guessing she just saw that Zayn dropped me off because of the huge grin on her face.
Honestly, her grin reminds me of the grinch sometimes. I resist the urge to burst out laughing.
But oh well, here we go...
.
.
It's been a long day at work and I'm listening to April's rants about her argument with her boyfriend. They have been together for four years now and they still get in arguments like five year olds.
Honestly, just get married already!
As soon as my shift is over, I decide to just get my stuff and make my way out of here. I can't take it anymore! The last thing on Earth I want right now is to see him coming here with flowers and chocolates and apologizing to her by saying all the cliche words known in the history.
Trust me, I've seen it.
They are that cliche couple. Well, they fit perfectly. Just made for each other!
On my way to my house, I have the same feeling of being watched and being followed again. I just ignore it. Maybe it's because I haven't walked back at this time of the night alone lately and I'm just so used to walking with Zayn.
I seriously need to learn how to overcome these fears now.
As soon as I get there, I lock the door behind me and decide to take a bath to calm my nerves.
I fill up the tub with warm water and light candles with vanilla fragrance. As it is filled almost to the brim, I throw my hair in a messy bun and step inside the tub.
After I have settled down, I pick a book and start reading. I have always liked to read; it calms me down somehow. It takes my mind off of situations and drags me in to the world of its own.
After a while, I put the book down. I rest my head back and slide a little more into the water so that it's reaching my shoulders now. I close my eyes and take deep relaxing breaths.
In a matter of seconds, without even knowing I fall asleep.
-_-_-_-_-