In the shadows. (H.S) [A.U]

Chapter 28

"If there are boundaries,
I'll try to knock them down.
I'm latching on babe.
Now that I know what I have found."

***

1 MONTH LATER

It's been a month since Zayn broke up with me and now that I look back at it, I guess it was reasonable. I finally passed the stage of depression and then came the final one, acceptance.

I mean, thinking about it, if Christina came up to me and told me everything Harry told Zayn, I would obviously believe Chris in a blink of an eye. I didn't get the chance to explain my side to him but then he also showed that he didn't give a flying fuck about what I had to say. He  immediately went back to the same old 'punk' thing and hooked up with a different girl every night. God knows how he resisted doing that when he was with me.

But oh well- no harsh feelings towards him. Even if I had convinced him to stay somehow, it would've be a mess, Harry would literally try to ruin every single outing or moment with him. So whatever happened, happened for the best.

Sometimes it's just better to let go.

I had to tell the group about the break up mess eventually. Liam had already seemed to figure it out by my state and lack of hanging out with them for a week or so. Louis on the other hand, was furious. Christina and him were ready to confront Zayn but I had to stop them. I didn't even tell them the real reason. I just made up some bullshit that it wasn't working out for the both of us, hoping that they would believe me. 

Liam seemed to understand and calmed the two, telling them they were over reacting when Christina called out bullshit at my words. Niall on the other hand stayed silent. He was obviously taken aback by the whole ordeal but he didn't say a word. Something in his eyes told me that he didn't believe me one bit and that he knew something but he didn't try to pry for details or anything. I just took that as a good sign and decided not to bring it up to him.

I think I figured out the fucked up game Harry is trying to play with me. It feels like I'm in a long distance relationship, but the difference is that the guy has cameras around me at all times. I can't talk to other guys and certainly can't date any. Possessive much?

It is fucked up to even think about. Oh how I had to stop him from killing Louis a few days back. I literally had to go out into the woods, I kept walking deeper and deeper so that he would follow me. Which he did. Then I had to explain to him that I certainly wasn't dating Louis. He was a childhood friend and like a brother to me. Not to mention Louis and Christina had finally started dating a few days prior. Finally! About time. I told Harry to back off. He didn't say a word after that and disappeared into the woods again.

We have been in London for a few days now and tonight is the most important night for Liam. Unfortunately Louis had to back to Seattle urgently because of some loss in his business. Christina is going to leave for Seattle for a short vacation right after attending the event tonight. Whereas Niall and Liam are going to be staying in London for a few days and then Liam is also leaving for Seattle. 

It's all a mess.

I'm planning on heading back to Yorkshire tonight. It's fucked up I know but I just don't feel like getting drunk and then sticking with the boys to explore London for a week or so. It's a very long drive but I'm still willing to drive myself that far rather than staying here. 

Niall and Liam tried their best to convince me to stay here or to leave in the morning, but something in me just wants to get back as soon as I can. I have this feeling that if I don't get back tonight, something bad is going to happen..