He had to fight. Fight for his life, for his pack, for his mate.
His heart hammered through his chest - through his skull. That rapid thud, thud, thud, that reminded him that he had to keep fighting.
Claws dragged through his flesh, he ignored the bite of pain. He was in danger - she was in danger - he had to fight and escape, he had to find his mate.
His wolf roared in his ears as Logan fought for his life.
*
"Callie, you ok?"
The young she-wolf jumped as J walked up beside her and leant against the wooden fence lining the deck.
Callie nodded distractedly, and tilted her head back up to the starry night.
J sighed and surveyed the open land in front of them. There wasn't much to the black oath territory at the moment. A couple of buildings and a fire pit in the centre.
They'd build more, she'd told Logan earlier, they'd build more houses so that each of the pack could have their own house. Then, maybe they'd look to expand the pack.
They had plans. They had a future.
J twisted her head to watch Callie. The she-wolf had showered and had pulled her long hair up into a pony tail. Now that J could actually see the angles of her face, without the curtain of hair to hide behind, it was obvious Callie wasn't 16 or 17.
No, she wasn't as young as J had assumed, not physically, yet she was young in her understanding. She'd spent so long on her own, that she hadn't got used to people - or the world. She understood survival. She understood her wolf. Test her on her capital cities and she'd struggle.
But there was a strength in her, one that J had seen from the outset. One that so many people seemed to overlook. Even wolfless, J had sensed the power leashed beneath Callie's skin. The she-wolf was different, powerful.
J had assumed it was because she was born and raised in the wild, but now it turned out that Callie once belonged in a pack. A pack that now might just contain her moonmate. A pack that she'd seemed so fearful of.
J sighed heavily and looked away. Callie gave a small sigh of relief.
"So..." J started, before realising she didn't know how to finish.
Callie sighed. "So..." she echoed. The she-wolf pulled her cardigan tighter around her body, shivering in the growing wind.
Behind them, they could hear the rest of the pack busying themselves with dinner. Trevor had gone to get basic supplies but returned home with a car full of food to last them months.
There was something pleasant, calming even, hearing the light chatter of her pack as they prepared the food.
J stood up and stretched her arms over her head, cricking her neck. "If you want to find your moonmate, I can have Will locate him."
"No." Callie snapped, "I mean, no...thank you." she muttered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I-I don't remember the pack...not really...but my wolf- I've never known her get like that before. She was petrified."
Callie's words faded into the silence of the night, J didn't want to speak and had a feeling that Callie didn't need her to. She just needed to say the words. To have them be heard.
"I don't know why she feared that pack, but with a reaction like that...I don't care if that wolf is my moonmate or not, I don't want anything to do with him."
J nodded silently.
"At least now I can drink right? Now that I know I'm old enough."
J chuckled at that.
Callie kicked a piece of stone from the wooden decking. "I don't want to leave, J."
J snapped her attention to Callie. "You don't have to. I'd never expect you to go. You heard what I told them - it's your choice where you go, not mine and certainly not theirs. Your home is here for as long as you want it, Cal'. Ignore your moonmate, find him or deny him, I don't mind. Whatever your decision, I'll stand by you. We all will."
Callle's eyes sparkled in the iridescent moonlight with unshed tears. "Thank you, J." she whispered as she allowed J to pull her into a hug.
"Anytime, kid." J mumbled to the top of her head.
"Is Logan ok?" she asked so softly that J wasn't sure if she'd imagined it.
J released her, taking a step back and pulling in a lungful of cool, night air. Running a hand through her hair, she watched as a bird soared over their heads and delved into the undergrowth.
She sighed sadly. "I don't know, Cal'. I don't think so."
The underestimate of the century. It was the elephant in the room, the cloud looming over them, all of them. It was the conversation she needed to have with Logan, the truth they had to face.
But she would wait, give him a little time to adjust, to feel normal now that he was home.
It could wait.
They could have a brief second of normality.
They could be happy for a few weeks...right?
*
Air.
She needed air.
J grasped at the hands clutched around her throat, her claws tearing into flesh. She gasped as the grip changed, giving her a brief taste of precious oxygen before the hands tightened and her vision swam.
Black dots pin pricked her vision, her eyes already clouded by tears. She tried desperately to shift the weight from on top of her, bucking her hips and kicking out with her feet, but to no avail.
Red eyes glowed inches from her face as the wolf growled, bearing its teeth. Still she fought - and would keep fighting until the encroaching darkness swallowed her whole.
She tried again to tear the hands from her throat and when that failed, began to rake her claws down his arm. Reaching up, she managed to swipe him across the face, but it only served to anger him further.
"Please," she gasped, "Logan, please, stop."
The darkness came back with vengeance, as her vision began to narrow until she felt her eyes roll into her skull and her body went slack.
*
Through the rage and the fear, Logan could sense something. Something was wrong.
Beneath him, his enemy had gone limp and death was finally his to exact. He bared his teeth and prepared to tear the throat out of the beast, when his wolf's growl tore through him as the heady scent of blood filled his nostrils.
He was coated in it, his enemy had put up a good fight, had hurt him, but it was more than that - more than the physical wounds that hurt.
Something wasn't right.
*
Air rushed back into J's lungs as Logan finally released her. Her eyes fluttered open to the very moment Logan realised who she was - and what he'd just done.
"Jos'..." he gasped, arms automatically reaching for her, but she flinched and dove out of the bed, slamming her spine against the nearest wall as her hands clamoured at her throat.
Her entire neck felt like it was on fire, each breath a mixture of agony and ecstasy as her starved lungs longed for air.
Gasping for breath, cradling her neck, J watched Logan through watery eyes as he kneeled on the bed, staring down at his hands as though he couldn't believe they were his. As though he couldn't believe they'd just been wrapped around her throat.
Swallowing a sob, J tried to take a deeper breath but cried out at the pain coursing through her system.
Logan's attention snapped to her immediately, shame and self-loathing swimming in his eye. "Jos', I'm so sorry. I don't-I don't understand what happened. I don't..." he trailed off as he scrambled to his feet, eager to comfort his mate, but J flinched again and slid along the wall, putting more distance between them. "Jos', please...." Logan begged, holding out a hand towards her before slowly letting it fall to his side. He let out a small whimper and hung his head as he sank into the soft mattress.
Nothing made sense to J. One minute she'd been asleep beside her soundly sleeping mate, theirs limbs still entwined from spending the evening wrapped around one another, and the next she'd been in a fight for her life against Logan's wolf.
She didn't mean to flinch every time he got close. But she also didn't want him to touch her. J's wolf rioted inside of her, hurt, confused, worried.
Her mate had attacked her, J's wolf couldn't understand why but could tell her mate was sick. J knew why. Knew the signs. Her mate was going rogue.
Seeing him sat there, a powerful beast reduced to a terrified mess, broke J's heart.
"Logan." J winced at how hoarse her voice sounded. "It's ok," she assured him, "I know you didn't mean it. It's ok."
Going against all of her natural instincts, J sat on the bed beside him, not quite able to touch him just yet.
"I can't believe I did that. I'm sorry Jos'. I thought I was somewhere else...I didn't know it was you, I swear I didn't know it was you."
J nodded, wincing at the effort but preferring that to talking. Slowly, she reached out to take Logan's hand and squeezed it gently.
Far too late to be helpful, footsteps pounded across the living room and a fist thudded against the wood. Logan jumped, prompting J to place a soothing hand on his arm.
J glanced at the door as Zander began to shout through it, Will and Trevor joining him.
"Alpha are you ok? Alpha?" they yelled.
Of course, it wasn't Logan they were speaking to. No, J wasn't sure why, or when it had happened, but her wolf had sensed the change earlier that day when they'd arrived at the Black Oath territory, J was now the alpha of Black Oath. Not co-alpha or she-alpha, just plain, simple Alpha.
Logan was no longer in charge of the pack. He was no longer part of the pack. The mating bond, the sacred link that tied her soul to Logan's, was still there. Though it was dim, fragile even. Much like Logan's grasp on reality.
She had thought that having him back on Black Oath territory would help. That being safe in his packlands would help heal his wolf, but it wasn't working. Not at all.
J needed to find a way to fix Logan, and needed to do it soon, before she lost him forever.
She glanced at Logan, noting the tension in his face before turning to the door. "We are fine. Go back to bed." To her surprise, they didn't question her. She waited silently as the footsteps drifted away.
"I'm so sorry," Logan whispered again. J sighed in frustration.
"I know you are Logan. I know you are."
"I must have fallen asleep. I can't believe I actually fell asleep. It felt so real. It felt like I had to get out, to escape..."
J sighed again and stood up, crossing the room to the window. She heard the springs in the mattress move before she felt Logan's presence beside her.
"Tomorrow, Saf should arrive. Hopefully she'll have news about the rogues. Then-" J paused and turned to face her tortured mate, "we will find the people that did this to you, and I will kill them."
J's wolf lunged for the surface and J let her have some control as her world slipped into monochrome.
Her wolf studied her mate for a moment, assessing his state, before relinquishing control.
'He is lost to us.' she whispered to J.
And J couldn't help but think she might be right.
*
A/N
Hello!
Welcome back!
There will be an update on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays...
See you Wednesday!
V_F