Please listen to music linked with chapter
Stay tuned for authors notes !:)
All of our close friends and family were here together . M'baku, Zoya (who had her baby already ) and Suko. All of T'challa's family was here as always and our staff . Romanda threw me this "table baby shower" because I didn't feel like being in the heat for a garden party. Instead we threw it inside of the dining room/living room which was a way more intimate setting. My due date was days away because I kept pushing the shower off. I was so swollen and so uncomfortable that I stayed seated the entire time.
The press was here to record from afar. This was the last broadcasting for me for awhile. I whole heatedly planned on nesting inside the palace for awhile with the new baby and T'challa was in support. The media had been wanting some pregnant content from me for quite awhile. I answered some questions like the people wanted. They'd ask me what it was like being a young mom and was I afraid. I answered truthfully as I always did, hell yes.
However, aside from that fear was pure happiness. T and I were happy that so many people cared about our child. He would know that he's loved while he grows up. Ahmet, Michelle and of course Lily came as well. Lily was now walking and talking. Her little hands stayed glued to the bottom of my dress the entire day which I found endearing. So endearing that I couldn't help but put her on my lap. T'challa warmed me of picking up anything over ten pounds but I didn't listen.
" Careful", he warned.
" Uncle's being a big grump huh ? ", I grabbed Lily's fist in mine. She pulled herself from me and took that opportunity to pull at my nose and lips. I let her because why not. I didn't get to see her often anyway. I felt a whooshing feeling in my stomach feeling him kick me in the bladder. I stilled and pressed on my stomach. T'challa looked at me instantly picking up on my shift in energy. He didn't say anything, he just continued to eat his rice skeptically. The pressure went away and I went back to my old self.
The get together was basically just us at the dinner table eating and laughing. I opened gifts after our food and dessert. The first one was from Nakia. I opened the box and to my surprise it was a box of multicolored teething necklaces and a black box. A little gold plated bracelet popped out of it. Azari's name was ingrained on this beautiful piece of gold. On the back of the plate rested Nakia's message.
" A child loved by his village is a child that will lead his village " I read with teary eyes at the quote refrencing Azari as king.
" You've made the pregnant lady cry ", M'baku playfully shouted across the room. Nakia and I embrace momentarily.
" This is so nice, thankyou ", I wipe a stray tear. Lily is trying her best to grab the box so T'challa takes it before she can destroy it. Truthfully anything made me cry. A loud noise, a Disney movie, cuddles from Bast who was sleeping outside, T'challa kissing me goodnight ect. I could cry on a drop of a dime.
The next gift was from Shuri. She handed me another small box and I opened it quickly. It was yet another small bracelet but this one resembled a very small kimoyo bead bracelet. It was blue and black.
" That is Kimoyo I designed to specifically tell you what he wants and it also reports his vitals. Oxygen levels, vitamin levels, blood pressure, heart rate, hunger...pretty much anything. Anything you'd need to know about his little body is in that thing once you turn it on. So you won't ever have to guess if there's something off or if he's even tired or hungry ", shuri explained.
" Holy shit..", I turned it on and T'challa leaned in as we looked at a projection it shot up. It was a graph that picked up MY vitals since I was holding it.
" It says your pain is at a 6 ", T'challa looked at me strangely.
" It's just Braxton Hicks. Thankyou so much for this Shuri. This will be such a big help for the both of us. We won't even have to guess what's bothering him or what he wants ", I praised her.
" No problem. I figured it was the least I could do considering I wouldn't be up late at night cleaning puke, spit and poop. You are in my prayers ", she bows dramatically. I chuckled at her snarkyness. T'challa put it back inside of the box for me.
M'baku and his wife were next. He handed me a medium sized box with a beautiful bow on it. I shook it wondering what it was. After carefully tearing open the wrapping paper I pulled out small, cream colored fur coat. I held it up inspecting it's extravagant nature. Gold buttons, a zipper and even pockets. It looked like it could fit a one year old and it was beautifully made. I just couldn't figure out where the fur was from.
" I-is this ...-", M'baku cut me off.
" White gorilla fur ! Yes it is. Zoya helped make this for your little one. Don't worry the gorilla died from natural causes...I think ", M'baku's eyes shifted nervously.
" Baku! Don't say things like that. She'll think we slaughtered a damned ape for her newborn child. Rest assured this gorilla fur came from an ape that fell from the mountain. They're often at the top of the mountain and sometimes they slip and fall. The cold air preserves them and we use their bones and fur after we find them to honor them in battle ", Zoya explained.
" Well it's a beautiful coat ", I laughed.
" Yes perfect for Jabari weather if little Azari decides to pay us a visit ", M'baku explained.
" Absolutely ", I smiled gratefully. I looked at T'challa who still looked puzzled at the two of them before shaking his head. I nudged him.
Michelle gave me two boxes. A smaller box and a larger one from Ahmet.
" The smaller box is from Ahmet. The bigger one is from me ", she beamed. I started with the smaller box since she handed it to me first.
I opened the first box and to my surprise I found a small yellow octopus. I had forgotten all about this and assumed it burned in the fire I caused. This yellow octopus was my favorite stuffed animal when I was smaller. I clutched it feeling more tears pool into my eyes. Ahmet looked at me knowingly.
" I sent a clean up crew to what was left of the home. Mom had it inside the basement and we were able to wash it and refurbish it....but if you press the tentacle there's a surprise ", he instructed.
I pressed the red button on the stuffed tentacle and a voice rang into my ears. It was singing an old Caian lullaby that my grandmother used to sing to me when I was very young. I still remembered it till this day. My grandmother passed when I was about 5 so I had buried it in the back of my mind. I didn't even realize Ahmet remembered how much I loved my grandmother when she'd come around. Now it was in a stuffed animal for Azari to listen to.
" Where did you get this audio ?! ", I looked at him in shock.
" We found ALOT in the basement. That question will be answered in the next gift ", he motioned for the bigger box. I rushed to tear it open and to my surprise it was Video tapes. They were titled with special events. Harper 1 day old, Ahmet birthday party, Grandma and Harper. They trickled down from tapes to DVD's. All of these were home videos that my mom used to take of us. I can't believe I even forget about them. She stopped recording us after I turned 5. All this time I thought my mother didn't care for me as much as my father but I realized something in that moment. Maybe it wasn't that she stopped caring, maybe life's events just broke her spirit. Of course Ahmet was the favorite but I still felt more love from her than I ever did with my dad. I shook my head at all the tapes from my younger years. Maybe she did love me...somewhat.
I wiped away my tears filing through all the Cd's. There were about 20 ranging from 5-20 minutes. He must have gotten the audio from one of the tapes and put them into the bear.
" Thankyou guys so much for this. Azari needs to see these....now he'll see his grandma and great grandmother ", I crack trying to keep my tears at bay. Ahmet and I hugged tightly. Michelle pried one of the cd's out of Lily's iron fist grip. I made sure to give Michelle a tight hug as well. T'challa took the boxes for me shifting through the cd's because he was just as interested as I was.
Okoye and Ayo came together to gift Azari with a huge bundle of learning books for children. From bedtime stories, to math books and animals. In total there had to be about 50. Romanda gave us a huge and I mean HUGE collection of hyper absorbent cloth diapers and special made booties she made for him for his arrival. She had every intention of having them passed down to her great grand children.
Even the maids pitched in and got him hats, clothes and shoes. Simple items that would take us a long way. It seemed like everyone was excited for him to come. Suko gifted Azari with building blocks and bouncer. Anyo and Zena were the life of the party taking shots in my honor, their presence was the true gift but the went the extra mile. They gifted ME with a top of the line, Hi-tech breast pump that was easy on the body and made relatively no sound.
" Now this is a gift I can get behind ", I pressed the different suctions and settings on it.
" We figured it would be useful. I can only imagine what it's like being treated like a dairy cow ", Zena snorted. I laughed.
" I'm sure it's not that bad. Right Romanda ? ", I look to my mother in law.
" Eh....well ", she stutters. My face drops.
" Thanks for the words of encouragement ", I sighed.
" I'm sorry. I can't lie. But everyone is different so who knows ! ", she spoke optimistically.
" Thankyou guys for being here today. It really means a lot to me. After everything we've been through in the last year or so. Zena, Anyo, Ahmet, Michelle. You guys witness the fall of Cai and still supported me. M'baku and Zoya and all the soldiers that helped save Wakanda, I will forever be in your debt. Romanda you keep me grounded after everything I've been through. Nakia, Okoye and Ayo you've had my back countless times. Shuri your technology is what's kept T'challa alive numerous times...your the reason why we have the world we do now and plus you're the best sister in law anyone could ever ask for. Suko you've put up with my mess and you've helped me transition in this life seamlessly and I'll never forget that. I can never repay you guys. I'm so happy that Azari will be able to call you guys family one day ", I sniffled.
" What she said ", T leaned in and rested his hand on my stomach. Life was complete. Or better yet just beginning. After personally thanking everyone for their gifts we watched them depart from the palace. Romanda had went to bed and Shuri went for a swim in the B wing.
" Don't you walk up those flight of stairs ", he warned me.
" You must take me for dumb because I was going straight for the elevator ", I mentioned the elevator at the end of the hallway. It took me a longer to reach my destination these days with all my waddling.
I held onto the side of the railings as we went up to our private wing. On the way there we passed by the nursery which was the room next to ours for now. I glide by hand against the golden crib envisioning when he'd finally be here. My nerves got the best of me and I took the stuffed animals out of the crib even though he wasn't here yet. Then I started to rearrange the room excessively. T'challa leaned against the door frame shaking his head.
" Nesting already entle ? ", he sighed tiredly.
" I'm not nesting. It-it's just not my vision. I need to fix it babe ", I scooted the crib further against the wall.
" You've been nesting for a couple of days now ", he mentioned.
" He's not going to be here for another 2 weeks T. Two weeks. Just let me fix the room. They don't know what they're doing putting this room together. The energy is off, I think we need new furniture ", I whined. He rolls his eyes and walks over to me. I look up at him with irritation before letting out an exaggerated sigh.
" Bed ", he says simply. I leaned against him making my way out of the nursery and back to our room. We both showered and went to sleep.
Actually.
HE went to sleep and I spent about 30 minutes trying to get comfortable. I would fall asleep for about an hour at a time and spend 20 minutes trying to get comfortable again. This went on until about 4am until I could no longer get comfortable. I had low grade cramps that nagged at my back every 15-20 minutes or so. I shook it off as braxton hicks. I went up to pee after finally holding it off. After relieving myself I sent a request for water and was greeted by a maid at the door with a glass. I chugged it and sat the crystal cup back on the tray. I watch her walk down the hall zoning out about what else I needed to do for Azari's room when I felt something warm rundown my legs. I jumped thinking I was peeing but I didn't think I was. I had realized my water was trying to break. It wasn't the huge gush of amniotic fluid I thought it would be either. It was rather a very slow trickle as the pressure from my stomach caused it to continue going. I was able to get to the bathroom before I made a mess.
Even in the most chaotic situation I was still quiet thinking I'd be able to go back to bed. I just stared at the bathroom door for a few minutes trying to figure out what was next. I immediately thought, the shower.
I got into the shower and waited for the rest of my annoying slow water to stop "breaking" & after 10 minutes in the shower I washed up and got out. I dried myself with a towel and slipped new pajamas on. The shower was so relaxing I kind of zoned out, to the point that it wasn't until I got into the bed, that I realized I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon. I felt a harsh pang in my lower stomach. How did I forgot that after the water breaks you typically go into labor ?
" Two more weeks. You had TWO more weeks ", I grunted. Sitting up I bed.
T'challa shifted awake turning to look at me.
" What's wrong ? ", he asks groggily.
" My fuckin' water broke and he knew I wanted to rearrange some stuff. That's why he's trying to come early. He's petty like YOU ", I picked up a pillow and smashed him in the face with it. He sits up frantically.
" We have to wake the midwife up. We have to get the doula, we have to get you up ", he jumps out of bed looking for a baby bag that I told him we didn't need to pack because anything we needed the servants would bring to us.
" T'challa I am fine. I'm fine we still have time ", I shew him off. He rushes to my side pulling me up on my feet.
" I'm exhausted ", I whined.
" I'm sure he is too considering he's making an early appearance. Here put your robe on ", he puts it on me and walks me towards the elevator at the end of the hall. He uses the kimoyo to contact everyone and rushed me to labor room he had installed into the palace near the ER.When the elevator opened my Doula stood at the entrance with a wheel chair.
" I guess he's making a surprise appearance ", my Doula Lola suggests.
" I feel fi-", another pang hits my lower stomach and back causing me to shift in my seat.
" Yeah. She's likely going into labor ", Said Lola. T'challa and Lola walk me down to the room delivery room. I still didn't have a birth plan and I was pushing it off until the last minute. I was rolled to the room. My midwife (Nai ) was already in the room. I changed in the bathroom quickly with my Doulas help. My contractions were sporadic. Five minutes apart, two minutes, ten minutes and then 30 seconds. They'd layer up and then spread out. I didn't understand it.
" Have you decided what you want to do ? ", My Doula looks at me expectingly. I look at T'challa who was busy messaging Romanda and Shuri.
" I want to try natural ", I insist. My Doula looks at me knowingly as if to say I'd eventually tap out.
" Okay. It's whatever you want to do ", She affirms. She checks my progress and I was already 5 centimeters dilated in that short ten minutes. The pain was really starting to kick in now but it wasn't the type of pain I was expecting. It was more or less focused in my back.
I opted for the tub because I was told it would help my back. That's what I wanted relief from. It felt like my entire lower back was having a huge muscle spasm. I got into it with my gown on not feeling like flashing Romanda when she came into the room.
" How are you feeling ? ", he sat beside me holding my hand in his. Truthfully I didn't want to be touched because the pain was distracting even though the water did help halfway.
" I'm feeling like he'll claw his way out at this point. For the grand finale ", I scoff. T'challa laughs quietly.
" He can hear you talking about him ", he reminded me.
" I hope he can cause this is ridiculous ", I groan. T'challa laughed even harder. I wiped the sweat away from my forehead with a towel and sighed.
" I don't know if I can do this unmedicated. I seriously don't. Each passing minute it gets harder and harder ", I sighed.
" If you get the medicine it doesn't make you a bad mom Harper. I hope you know that ", he urges.
" I know....but epidurals can affect the baby too can't it? I read it makes them all lethargic and- ", My midwife cut me off.
" We don't do epidural in wakanda. The formula we use isn't a waist down paralysis either. You can still feel the baby come out to where you can push but it blocks the pain receptors. You literally have the child without physical pain and it's given through vein. Not through needle to spine. We talked about this Harper. Remember ", she said.
" Well I've been trying my best to block out anything regarding birth considering how for centuries it's been excruciatingly painful ", I add.
" Well not here in wakanda. Unless you choose. The choice is yours. Either way you and your baby will be fine and the sooner he comes out the sooner we'll be able to heal you. You can walk out of here about an hour later after you have him. No stitches, no pain, no wheelchair back to your quarters, no hip or back problems 20 years from now, sound good ? ", Said my midwife.
Midwives in wakanda could in fact administer the pain blocking medicine to pregnant women. Since it was such an easy and non invasive process, they were certified for it. This wasn't anything I was used to.
" It actually does -", I get cut off by another bought of pain. I reactively pull my hand from T'challa's but he clasps his fist around mine keeping my hand there in his. Romanda finally came rushing in with Shuri. She looked worried.
" Oh my dear ...", she walks over to me and clasps my face.
" It wasn't suppose to be for another two weeks ", she exclaimed.
" What will be, will be I guess ", I rolled my eyes dramatically.
" How far along ? ", She asked T.
" 5 ", he continued messaging everyone that I was in labor and that they could probably come to visit in a day or two.
But as the pain persisted Shuri quietly left the room basically peacing out of my agony show. I didn't know wether to wait it out in the tub or get out. I tried my best to wait it out. Within the next 40 minutes my labor advanced quickly. At 6am I was 9 centimeters. I felt like I was a water ballon getting ready to pop. The pressure in my pelvis and back was excruciating. I stayed in the water but I kept feeling the urge to stand up. Every so often I did and whenever I did the closer I felt that it was time. I soon made the link that standing up is what would speed this up and I needed relief desperately.
How I found the strength to do so was beyond me. I used T'challa as a ladder as I stood in the water that now only came up to my calf's. I alerted my Doula of my discomfort frantically letting her know I wanted to get out. There was no time to change out of my wet gown as I waddled over to the delivery bed. I did NOT want to lay down on my back. I instead leaned my body weight onto the delivery bed and placed both of my hands flat against it.
" He's coming out ! ", I warned painfully. I didn't even have time to ask for that medication anymore because it was too late. There was no turning back now, the only way out was through.
And painful it was.
I got on all fours after having an absorbent material placed underneath me and was given the all clear to push. T'challa sat in front of me trying to comfort me but I didn't need that at all. I imagined myself being the type that needed to be held, but in this moment I pushed him away. I needed to concentrate so that I could push with the contractions. I didn't want him gone, I just didn't want him touching me. I shooed his supportive hand away from the side of my face. Romanda sat next to T'challa at the top of the delivery bed. My Doula stood next to my Midwife as I heard them both coach me towards the victory I so badly needed: the end of this.
The only relief I got in the smallest form was pushing when directed to which was a task in itself. The worst part was his shoulders, that was the peak of the pain but after that it was over. My final push was followed with a sigh of ultimate relief and though the pain lingered it was light years better than what just transpired. T'challa stood up watching the midwife take him and clear the fluid from his throat. He wasn't crying and I was nervous trying to look behind myself.
" He's fine ", Romanda reassured me.
A nurse came in, the same nurse who took care of me after my accident walked into the room with a medical tray. She walked up behind me without any introduction and administered a shot into the back of my thigh. She pulled my hospital gown down giving me a bit of dignity and placed the empty syringe onto the medical tray.
" Congratulations your highness ", she said quickly before leaving the room.
Clutching onto the bedding nervously I feel something smooth slip out of me. I look down and it's the placenta which had fell out on it's own.
" The shot has been administered and should begin to repair everything shortly. Lie down ...So that you may hold him ", My Doula removed of the absorbent bedding, helped placed me in a dry hospital gown that buttoned up and helped me lay on my back. Second by second the injection started to take some of my pain away. I was a bit dazed but wanting to hold my baby. Azari still hadn't cried but T'challa didn't look worried at all. After the midwife loosely wrapped him up she placed him on my chest after Romanda unbuttoned a few buttons on my gown. Azari and I's skin touched and he used his weak neck muscles to raise his head and look me in the eyes. In that moment the serum worked and I was free of pain, tearing or anything banged and bruised from the intensity of birth. I was left with solace. I was forever changed....
His little neck wasn't even suppose to be able to move yet but there he was. He shakily steadied his head watching me with his big eyes that could likely barely see me.
" Hello ", I chuckled at his frowning face. He looked a bit confused, just as confused as I was.
" Crazy day huh ? ", I grab his tiny fist with two of my fingers causing him to wrap his small hand around my pointer. Romanda was crying and T let a tear fall or two before he eventually succumbed to his tears. Eventually Azari's head fell weakly back onto my chest.
" I can't believe I just did that ", I thought out loud. Romanda laughed.
" Only in labor for 2 hours. That's pretty good. I was in labor for 12 ", Said my midwife.
" I was 24 hours ", said my Doula.
" You're making me not want to do this again ", I snort. T'challa leaned down and pecked my head. I gently rolled Azari up into his blue blanket and cradled him in my arms to get a good look at his face.
" Wow....he looks like ....me ", Said shuri. I jumped not realizing she came back into the room.
" I think he looks like T as a baby ", I look up at T'challa who was still red and misty eyed.
" Here ", I chuckled handing Azari to his father. T'challa looked frightened to take him but he carefully did, holding him correctly. Azari let out a big yawn when he saw his father and blinked a few times before closing his eyes and falling asleep.
" He just fell asleep. Just like that ", T'challa chuckled.
" oh yeah. They definitely have an on and off switch. Shuri used to fall asleep while she ate at her high chair, mid chew ", Romanda beamed.
" Well I imagine he's just as tired as me considering the small canal he got ejected out of ", I joke.
" Oh yes. Birth is extremely traumatic for babies. Their skull shape gets changed and they work just as hard as you to come out. And you did the hard part. In child birth you can burn up to 50,000 calories. I'm sure you're exhausted as well ", My Doula informed me.
T'challa stared at Azari in wonder sweeping his thumb lightly across his soft cheek. I'd never seen him look so at peace in his life. Our eyes met and we smiled knowingly. I couldn't have ended up with a better life partner. T'challa handed him to Romanda who was overcome with emotion.
" Oh you look like your grandpa ", She sighed.
" I miss him everyday....but I think he might be closer to me than I think ", she sniffled adjusting his little beanie hat that kept his bald head warm.
Shuri held him and she didn't say much. She actually looked kinda of nervous to hold a baby and for the first time I didn't hear a smart remark from her. She just smiled and kissed the top of his hat as he snores away softly.
T'challa called down Nakia, Okoye and Ayo for me. Nakia gushed quietly over his teddy bear eared beanie we had him in as he laid against my chest quietly sleeping. I handed him to her and Okoye and Ayo swarmed him looking over her shoulder at his tiny face. They all took turns holding him.
Something was different but in a good way. The moment I had him there was a wave of euphoria that washed over me. Everything made sense and yet nothing did at all. I reached out for him and they placed him back into my arms when they were done. I was asked a million questions on how it felt or how I was feeling. The more time that passed as I watched him sleep, the more the memory of the pain and discomfort washed away. Either the medicine had work or I was just in love him with. Maybe both.
After an hours of everyone gushing about Azari they left us to rest. The medicine had healed me to entirety, inside and out and I was able to shower though it took a lot out of me to do so. I'd never felt so drained in my life. T'challa watched Azari as I got myself together in the bathroom. I came back and laid down. My Doula and midwife would be back for evaluation at 1 and I needed sleep desperately. T'challa just so happened to fall asleep too in a guest cot beside me. Azari had other plans two hours later.
He was practically screaming at the top of his lungs because he was hungry which I was not expecting so soon. Plenty of people had told me that they sometimes aren't hungry for a few hours but this wasn't the case. I also wasn't expecting to clock into motherhood so soon but my first shift had started now. I was able to get him to latch before the Doula came up to help me. I called her and asked her to supervise and see. She applauded me on how much I was able to get into his mouth. That was yet another small victory for me. No tongue ties, decent latch = happy baby. I was already producing enough so it was really a matter of waiting for him to finish before I could pump my other boob and sleep. Sleep like the dead. When he was done he lethargically hiccuped himself into a milk coma, mouth hanging open and all.
" It was quite disturbing watching him get red in the face to practically incoherent. You could probably hold him upside down and he wouldn't even notice at all ", T'challa watched silently.
" He's milk drunk ", I laughed while holding the back of his head with my hand and supporting his body with my thighs. A tiny smile spread across his face as he dreamed. I wasn't expecting a genuine smile that early either.
" Aww look. He's smiling ", I gushed.
" That's because you gave him his fix. He'll be back for more. Get some rest Entle ", he stood up and kissed my forehead, removing Azari from me and putting him into a pillow free bassinet. He didn't even notice. Before he left he turned around looking at me as if he wanted to say something.
" Thankyou ", he said.
" For what ? ", I question.
" Just......thankyou ", he repeated himself before left. I caught on and smiled. It was the least he could do.
After staring at my son to make sure he was breathing for 30 minutes I finally went to sleep. A sleep well deserved.
T'challa pov*
After waiting for months and months for his arrival, staring him in the eye was surreal. It was surreal how alert he was, it was surreal how she even had the strength to talk after that. How she didn't pass out ? I didn't know. I sure would have and I've seen a lot of messed up shit in my short years on this earth. We probably stared at him for a good hour in silence after everyone left. Something did in fact change between Harper and I. While I always held her in a high regard I had an even newer found respect for her. How could someone carry something for 9 months and be physically in tact afterwards ? It was beyond me. I couldn't even watch those birth videos at month 6. She watched them and had the audacity to eat popcorn during it.
She looked drained but happy. She was smiling, and so was I. I couldn't have been happier. How my love here for her any larger ? I didn't know. I also didn't know that, the love would extended over into our son the same way. I didn't even think I had any room left to love that ferociously until I held him. How did people even have enough room in their heart for a second child ? I didn't know but I'd cross that bridge when I got there, Harper willing.
I left her to sleep knowing that she'd need peace and quiet. The rest of our friends and family would come tonight. Until then I made a special request for a large breakfast for her. I even ordered her favorite food, chocolate pancakes.
By the time the food was done I made my way upstairs to Harper. I expected her to be asleep but she was holding our son, playing with his hands while he still slept. A medical doctor was in the room checking her with her Doula. She was completely healed and cleared to be released.
" If you guys are hungry. I had a big breakfast prepared for Harper but I think it would be best to enjoy her breakfast in bed ", I informed them.
" I would love some and she definitely needs some food to produce some milk for this little baby right ? You hungry ? ", The Doula asked Harper.
" Yeah...I guess ", she shrugged too busy puppeteering our son.
Harper miraculously got up as if nothing happened and placed Azari in his bassinet. She changed into some clothes and with my help we both changed him into a onesie. He didn't really seem to mind as he was still sleepy but he fussed when we pushed his hands into his arm holes.
I watched her push his bassinet in fear. Every few seconds I'd tell her to slow down but she insisted that she was fine and in no pain what so ever. Still it was hard not to be cautious with her. I led her to our bedroom and helped her into the bed even with her refusals. The maids served her a tray with an assortment of foods and she ate quietly while watching Azari sleep again.
" He's fine Harper ", I chuckled at her.
" If I look away too long he might disappear or something. Or a giant bird will fly in and steal him, that's what it feels like ", she confessed.
" I would cook that giant bird. Nothing will happen to him...or you ", I promised her.
" How are you feeling ? ", I changed the subject.
" Strange. I don't feel like myself but I don't feel bad either. Just....jittery ", she shoveled more pancake into her mouth.
" No relief ? ", I ask.
" Oh yeah. I feel light as a feather ", she laughed.
" Well for what's it's worth. I don't even think you need super powers to be considered a hero after what I just saw. A man couldn't even survive that not even just theoretically but like...physically. We can't have babies out of our ass. We'd die ", I admit. She covers her mourn in laughter trying not to wake the baby.
" Well. I appreciate your appreciation but I would absolutely love my powers back ", she looks at one her hands. A spark of electricity shot from them causing us both to jump.
" They're coming back already ", I assured her.
" I honestly don't even know how I did it but I did. Like....a tiny person just came out of me and now it's sleeping and eating ", she stared at him in wonderment.
" Yeah....crazy ", I trailed off. We both sat in silence for a few seconds before catching each other's gazes.
" So....what now ? ", she asks.
" I don't know...we just parent I guess ", I shrug.
" I still feel like I'm just winging it though and I'm only a few hours in ", she panicked.
" Every parent just wings it. Trust me. They won't admit it but it's true ", I snort.
" I'm sure we'll figure it out then. We can't be all that bad right ? ", she smiled knowingly.
The rest of our family and friends came. Harpers brother and sister in law finally got to meet their nephew. Zena and Anyo were elated to finally meet him and fought over who could hold him first. M'baku and Zoya were experienced parents with a newborn of their own at home so their reaction wasn't as drastic as everyone else's. Zoya spent a lot of time filling Harper in on what to expect for the next few weeks.
Zoya's advice still hadn't prepared us for the next two weeks. Harper and I were exhausted but it was mostly Harper. Azari knew where the milk came from so naturally he wanted his mother more. He wanted to be in his mother's arms at all hours of the day, even when he slept. When I'd hold him so that she could shower he would scream at the top of his lungs until she came back. He knew he wasn't in his mothers arms. The only time anyone else could hold him was on a full stomach and soon after that he was fast asleep. Romanda and shuri often helped with changing and bathing him while we both showered or watched him while we slept. I was barely getting any work done even when I wasn't helping. If I wasn't taking care Azari then I was taking care of Harper. She had a habit of skipping meals and watching him during his naps. I had to keep her on track so that she wouldn't fall off mentally considering it was easy for new mothers to do. Romanda insisted on a nanny for when we had to do things but Harper wasn't in agreement.
" He has to know we are his parents " she'd say.
I would agree with her if it wasn't for her losing sleep. Azari woke up at extremely strange hours which woke us both up. He'd sleep from 8–10pm and then 11-3am, 3:15-5am, and then he'd
sporadic and unpredictable naps throughout the day as most babies did. It was hard for us to adjust but sometimes Harper would be tired enough to let me feed and change him. He was fine with me holding him as long as I bottle fed him though he preferred it right from his mother. It wasn't until the end of week two of raising Azari that we got the shock of our lives.
" T'CHALLA !!! ", I get woken up by a scream from Harper. I jump out of bed before she could even finish calling my name and I'm by her side in seconds thinking the worst happened.
" What ", I look at his crib and he's not there.
" Where is he ?! ", I flip the mattress and look around the room. Harper is silent and she points up.
Azari is levitating like his mother.
Harpers hands cover her mouth and instinctively put my hands out thinking he'll fall. He doesn't. Instead he gently floats down towards his mattress. I grab him before he could reach the crib and hold him in my arms.
Harper stumbles towards the nursing chair becoming light headed. I look down to see him staring up at me gnawing on his fist likely hungry after giving his mother and I a heartattack.
" They didn't say it was this stressful ", She panted.
" He's kicking our ass ", I mumbled setting him back down in the crib for a moment. 30 seconds later he was screaming again. Harper went to pick him up but I insisted I had him. He quieted down and I made a request through my kimoyo for one of the maids to heat up one of his prepumped bottles from the fridge.
" How are we going to even survive this if he does stuff like that ?! He could hurt himself. I have to be with him at all times. He can't sleep in his room anymore if he has powers ", Harper urged.
" We'll take him to the doctors and see if there's anything we can do. He can't even talk yet. I'm starting to think he can understand us if he can already defy the laws of gravity ", I assume.
" Well just in case he can, Azari please don't do that anymore. You could seriously hurt yourself or worse and I couldn't live with that ", Harper sighed.
A knock on the door alerted one of the maids bringing up Azari's bottle. I fed it to him walking back to the bedroom while his mother pushed his sleeper in front of me.
This parenthood thing would be a wild 18 years.
End of chapter 45
Authors note:
Heyyy. Another long wait once again and I'm sorry about that. I've just moved into another place but I'm determined to finish this book for you guys. There's really only one major event left for the black panther book but I'm going to be dragging it out to line up with the events of my dysfunction book. I suggest that all of you black panther lovers dual read my dysfunction book to see Harper and T'challa told from another point of view. The events in each book will eventually line up for the final conflict/resolution. While your here, check out this author.
End of chapter 45