Hayden's POV
I couldn't even tell which camera I was looking at while Shawn and I were both being blinded by the flash on the red carpet. Shawn kept his arm wrapped around my waist as he posed with his other hand in his pocket. He looked like a natural, as he had a genuine smile spread across his face. As for me, I felt like I had to be blinking in every photo.
In the corner of my eye, I saw Shawn's head turn down in my direction. I glanced up at him, making the cameras go off even faster. Shawn smiled at me, softly squeezing my hip to make sure I was okay. I gave him a reassuring smile before I watched his eyes wander behind me and his hand soon left my hip.
For a second I thought he was leaving me, which made me slightly panic but then I realized he was just walking around me to flare out the bottom of my dress. He neatly spread out the train before hopping over it to be at my side again.
I couldn't help but smile at his sweet gesture. Once his eyes met mine again, I reached up onto my toes to meet his lips. We apparently got a rise out of the photographers, as they started shouting different poses for us but instead Shawn cupped my cheek to kiss me one more time.
**
"How you guys doing over here?" Andrew asked, checking in on us as he walked over.
Shawn, Brian, Geoff and I were all standing off to the side of the red carpet for a minute. Taking a breather from greeting everyone, being interviewed and photographed.
"We're good, did you find out where we are sitting?" Shawn asked trying so hard not to run his whole hand through the curls his stylist just fixed for him. Shawn stood behind me, with his hands wrapped around me waist and my back pressed into his chest.
"Yeah, you'll be on the left side, closer to the front of the stage." Andrew said and Shawn nodded calmly.
"Closer to the stage?" I questioned feeling nervous as I looked at Andrew. Shawn's fingers grazed my arm before he intertwined our hands together.
"We all just have to sit there and clap, there's nothing to be nervous about." He spoke before kissing the back of my hand. I nodded in agreement letting his words sink in to ease my nerves.
"Oh my gosh, Hayden right?!" We all heard from behind Geoff. We all turned wondering who here knew me, since I haven't met many of Shawn's friends in the industry.
Once Geoff stepped out of the way, I realized it was Drew Taggart. The fan girl side of me was freaking out that he remembered my name but also humiliated because I was plastered the night I met him.
Shawn groaned in annoyance, loud enough for only me and Andrew to hear. I lightly hit Shawn's chest as Drew was walking closer to our little group.
"Be nice," I mumbled to Shawn before smiling at Drew. Surprisingly, Drew opened his arms to engulf me in a hug which I was a little taken back by.
"It's so great to see you again," I said politely, hugging him back and immediately noticing the strong scent of weed radiating off of him.
Once I pulled away Shawn placed his hand on my back. "Hey man," Shawn said, holding his hand out for Drew to shake.
"Wow so you guys really are dating," Drew responded, making Shawn slide his hand down my back and around my waist.
"Yeah, we weren't as public the night you guys met." Shawn chimed in, adding a fake laugh.
"I'm happy for you guys, it was so nice to see you both again. We'll have to catch up later!" Drew said as his publicist was calling his name. Drew nodded to us, letting his eyes linger on mine a moment longer.
"I don't want to catch up with him later," Shawn said, turning his body toward me. I couldn't help but laugh because it was obvious he didn't like him.
"We don't have to, we just had to be polite and say hi. Now I bet there's a hundred more people that are going to want to say hi to you." Shawn lightly sighed, reaching his hand up to run through his hair but I stopped him. I gently pulled his hand back into mine at our sides.
"Alright you lead the way rockstar," I said to him, staring at the very large crowd we were about to walk through.
**
After a hour of greeting and meeting other artists, we finally made it to our seats. I was still gawking at the fact Shawn introduced me to Ed Sheeran for the first time. My hands were still shaking as I placed them on the top of my lap looking around to see who we were sitting near.
Shawn had an aisle seat, while I sat between him and Andrew, followed by Geoff and Brian. Andrew wasn't kidding when we said we were close to the stage, it was less then three yards away.
"Can you keep your eyes to yourself," Shawn whispered into my ear. "You're literally staring Ed down."
I hit Shawn's shoulder, "I am not!" Shawn gave me a look like I was lying, making me sigh defeated.
"Fine. I mean I can't help it, he's literally like the god of songwriting." Shawn's eyes looked like they were going to fly out of his head as he snapped his neck toward me.
"Excuse me?!" He said, unable to hide the amusing smile forming in the corner of his lips.
I placed my hand under his chin before leaning in to place a peck on his pink lips, "You know I love you babe."
Shawn shook his head, leaning back in his seat and pretending to be annoyed. I went to say something to him when the lights in the room started flashing and everyone knew to take their seats. Shawn sat up straighter, reaching his hand over in my lap to intertwine our fingers.
"Are you nervous?" I asked him, feeling his sweaty palms in mine.
"No, never." He responded, making Geoff chuckle.
"Hayden, I heard him rehearsing the announcing lines for over two hours last night." Geoff said, leaning over Andrew. I chuckled turning my attention back to Shawn, who had his head in the palm of him hand and was shaking his head in embarrassment.
"Nerves mean you care right?" Shawn said turning his head to me and I nodded.
"You're going to do great hun, it will be over before you know it." I said, softly rubbing my hand over his chest before the lights completely dimmed and the show begun.
**
We were problaby two hours into the show, and I felt extremely nauseous. Shawn was still holding onto my hand between awards but I felt like every ounce of me was sweating.
Once the cameras were away from us, I had to keep closing my eyes and forcing myself to hold back the nausea. Once the lights turned back on we knew it was commercial again.
Shawn continued his conversation he was having during the last commercial with Khaild, who was sitting right behind us. I couldn't focus on the conversation as my stomach felt like it was doing cartwheels. I then realized I couldn't hold it any longer and placed my hand over my stomach.
"Hayden, are you alright?" Andrew whispered to me. I shook my head, grabbing the bottom of my dress so I could stand up. I couldn't even speak because I was scared that it wouldn't be words.
I quickly stood up, stumbling on the fabric of my own dress before pushing my way between Shawn's legs and the seat. Shawn grabbed my hand as the lights started flickering, letting us know that commercial was about to end.
"Where are you going?" I couldn't answer him as I pulled my hand out of his and quickly walked down the aisle before they closed the stage doors.
"Hayden wait up!" I heard Geoff say from far behind me but I didn't turned around. The security was just about to close the doors for end of commercial but I quickly slipped passed.
The second I got into the woman's restroom, I ran into the stall, falling to my knees on the marble floor and letting everything in my stomach out. I then heard the restroom door open and two girls who were in a laughing fit walked in.
I sat on the floor taking a breather, not sure if I was done or not yet. I leaned against the wooden stall, that thankfully didn't have a space underneath for people to see me sitting on the ground.
"Did you see Shawn tonight?" One of the girls voices echoed off the walls, grabbing my attention as I continued to sit.
"Shawn who?" The other girl questioned as they were both standing by the sinks.
"Mendes," She answered.
"Oh yeah he looks beautiful in that suit. It's tight in all the right places." The girl said making them both chuckle again. I squinted my eyes towards the door as I eavesdropped more on their conversation.
"Did you see the girl he brought with him? She should not have been standing beside him." She said, making the other friend confused.
"Why not?" She questioned.
"Her dress was hideous next to him! She looked like a lemon walking across the carpet." They both laughed as they continued to touch up their lipsticks. I looked down at my dress running my hand over the skirt part of it.
'I love my dress' I thought to myself.
"I heard Shawn's not going to Taylor's after party because of her." She said.
'Shawn didn't say anything about an after party to me' I thought again.
He's probably too embarrassed to introduce her to anybody." I closed my eyes feeling nausea again especially from this conversation.
"I don't know what he sees in her." The other chimed.
"Maybe he just felt bad for her, I mean you know how nice he is." The girl spoke.
I had enough, I wiped my mouth with the toilet paper and flushed the toilet. I put a mint in my mouth before fixing my dress and opened the stall door.
One of the girls were still laughing before they glanced at me through the mirror and their face ran cold. I casually walked over to the sink and began washing my hands, knowing their jaws were hung open. Once I was done, I reached for the hand towel and looked back up towards them.
"I don't know you... and I know you don't know me but you both look stunning so I hope you have a great night. That's all my boyfriend and I are trying to do." They looked at each other with a guilty expressions on their faces before they turned and left the room.
I sighed, leaning against the sink trying to let any annoyance slip away. My stomach suddenly turned and I ran back into the stall.
"Hayden?" I heard someone yell from outside the door but I couldn't respond as I puked my guts out again.
Geoff lightly pushed the stall door open since I didn't lock it and saw me hunched over the toilet. He quickly took his suit off, hanging it over the door, and held my curls back.
"I'm fine," I said, trying to get him to leave.
"You're clearly not, so just relax for a minute." He said, realizing I was done and let my hair fall back to my shoulders. He walked over to the sink grabbing a new towel and soaked it before walking back over to me. I took it wiping my mouth and problaby ruining my make up.
"You alright?" He questioned, lightly rubbing my back. I nodded, reaching into my purse for two more mints.
"I just need another minute," I said sitting against the wall again, closing my eyes for a second as my stomach settled. Geoff nodded, sitting down in the stall with me, on the opposite wall.
"Can I ask you something? But promise you won't get mad." I furrowed my eyes at him but nodded still curious at to where this was going.
"Are you pregnant?" Geoff asked seriously. I lightly pushed his shoulder not expecting that to be the question. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry I just had to ask."
"I'm not pregnant. I just didn't feel well before we got here, I think it must've been something I ate," I lied once again, placing my hands in my lap. Geoff slightly nodded looking as if he didn't fully believe me.
**
"Next time you want to make a run for it let me know beforehand." Geoff joked making me laugh. We were currently waiting outside the show for it to be commercial so we could go back in. We were currently walking along the empty red carpet, patiently waiting.
"I wasn't making a run for it," I laughed. Geoff chuckled, finding his own joke amusing as he stared down at the ground, holding the extra fabric of my dress so I could walk.
"I know... but Hayden," Geoff said stopping in his tracks to look me in the eye. "I know Shawn is just being patient with you and letting you go to him when you're ready but... I know somethings going on. I don't know what but you've been different with everyone lately like you're walking on egg shells around us or something."
Geoff searched my eyes and I was stunned not knowing what to say. "Whatever it is, if you ever need help I'm here for you. You're apart of the team now, you're family." He joked making me crack a smile as I felt the familiar tightness in my throat. "But if you're ever in trouble don't hesitate to call me."
I went to thank him when I noticed Shawn in the corner of my eyes storming in our direction. "What's going on?" He spoke, the frustration clear in his voice as his eyes looked between Geoff and I.
"She wasn't feeling well and we had to wait for commercial before we could go back in there." Geoff said, lightly dropping the fabric of my dress on the ground and then tucked his hands in his pockets.
"I think she can speak for herself. Thanks Geoff." Shawn stated rather rudely, making me furrow my eyes as I glanced between the two of them. Geoff just shrugged his shoulders as he walked ahead of us to find his seat.
"What the hell was that?" I said, not understanding why Shawn was pissed off at Geoff.
"What were you doing with him?" Shawn asked as if he knew the answer.
"I'm sorry, excuse me?" I said catching onto what he was hinting at and not understanding where his jealousy was coming from.
He rolled his eyes, "Why did he run after you out here? I couldn't even focus when I had to go on the stage because you just stormed out with him on your tail."
"Because your friend," I said emphasizing that this was his good friend he was making assumptions about. "Knew you couldn't leave to check on me, so he did it for you!"
I nudged my arm with Shawn's, moving around him to head back to my seat without him. He quickly caught my arm, shaking his head as he stood back in front of me. "I'm sorry... I messed up, I jumped to conclusions because I didn't know what to think."
He cupped my cheeks, gently brushing his thumb over my skin. "I'm sorry... are you feeling any better?" He asked. I took a deep breath letting my anger slip away and not ruin the night. I nodded at him, honestly, before watching him lean forward to place a kiss on my forehead.
"I'm sorry I missed you announcing the awards," I said looking up to meet his eyes. He continued to brush his thumb along my cheek, still looking guilty for accusing me of cheating.
Shawn shook his head, "You didn't miss much, I just stumbled on my words in front of the world." He said with a chuckle making me smile but it slowly faded.
"You need to apologize to Geoff... He was being really sweet to me." I said with a serious expression. "He told me that since I was apart of the team, I'm now apart of the family."
"Geoff said that?" Shawn asked, running his hand down my arm to hold my hand. I nodded, searching Shawn's eyes. "I'm such an ass."
**
After the show was over we all went back to the hotel to change our outfits. I changed into a more comfortable dress that was black, low cut and flared out just above my knees. The guys just took off their suit jackets and left them in their rooms.
We first headed out to a celebratory dinner, since we were all starving, but mostly to celebrate the tour coming to an end with only a few shows left.
"I think we should make our toast tonight to Hayden," Brian said, resting his elbow on the table as he held up his red wine glass to our small table of five. It was tradition for Shawn's team to make a toast about anything they were thankful for whenever they go out together.
"Why me?" I chuckled, as I cautiously lifted my lemonade against everyone else's drinks.
"Because, you survived your very first red carpet." He said making the table chuckle.
"I'll toast to that," Geoff joked, making me hit his arm beside me. I couldn't help but notice Shawn chuckle on the other side of me.
"Hey! I didn't trip so, I think that is a very great accomplishment." I defended myself. "Please someone make a different toast."
"Okay..." Shawn said with a rosy smile spread across his face. He rested on his elbows as he held his glass of wine forward to the center of the table. "I think this toast should be for all of you. All four of you.." Shawn said smiling, getting everyones attention as he looked at each one of us.
"I'm grateful to have very single one of you in my life and going through this journey together. Without any of you," Shawn shook his head, unable to find his words. He glanced over at me, searching my eyes. "I don't know where I would be. So this toast is for you guys, thank you."
I felt overwhelmed with emotions from how genuine Shawn's words were. Everyone else seemed like it too as they had a small smile spread on their lips.
"Well, we wouldn't be sitting here without you man." Brian chimed in, clinking his glass with Shawn's before turning to the rest of the table. Everyone followed, touching their glasses to one another as the chatter of the fancy restaurant filled our ears.
We all leaned back in our chairs, taking a sip to Shawn's toast. I couldn't take my eyes off him as I watched him place his glass back down on the table top and glance over to me.
'I love you' I mouthed to him, completely feeling pure happiness for sitting around the candle light with such good hearted people. Shawn had a cheeky smile on his face once his eyes read what I said.
'I love you more' He mouthed back before placing his hand on my knee underneath the table and then turned his attention back to the table to rejoin the conversation.
What did I ever do to deserve this boy?
**
"One hour, one hour and then I want to spend the rest of the night just the two of us." Shawn whispered. We stood off to the side of our group, waiting for the elevator that was going to take us to the rooftop bar, where Charlie Puth was having his after party.
Shawn's hands played with mine as he matched his against my own, before intertwining them. "Okay," I responded softly with a smile.
"Promise?" He asked, pulling me closer so he can lean forward and rest his forehead against mine.
"I promise." I responded pressing my nose to his but not letting our noses meet. The elevator then dinged, bringing us back to reality.
"Come on, lovebirds." Andrew teased as he held the elevator door open for us. We all filled the small room and pressed the top button to send us to the bar.
"So who's going to be at this party?" I asked, noticing everyone glancing towards each other. "What?" I questioned not fully understanding.
But the second the elevator doors opened again, I immediately understood. Hundreds of people were at the party, making the whole roof top packed. I could barley hear Brian when he said he was heading towards the bar, being the first one to disperse.
Shawn held onto my hand before leading the way through the crowd, making sure we greeted his friends that we passed along the way. Shawn turned back to me with a suspicious smile on his face before guiding me to the dance floor.
**
After we danced for about half an hour, Shawn guided me over to the open bar stool. He held our intertwined hands up, guiding me to take the empty seat as he stood behind me. "Two vodka sodas," Shawn asked the bartender, keeping his arm around my shoulders. I quickly shook my head, realizing he was giving one of those to me.
"Just one actually," He said a little louder for the bartender to hear over the music. Shawn looked back down at me, tucking a curl behind my ear so he could get a better look at my face.
"You still not feeling good?" He asked softly.
I shook my head, "I just want to take it easy tonight." He nodded in agreement, leaning forward to let his wet lips linger against my forehead before pulling away.
"Shawn, over here!" Someone shouted from behind us while Shawn was taking a sip from his glass. Shawn went to help me down when I shook my head.
"You go, I'll be okay here." I said in his ear, placing my hand on his shoulder to reassure him.
"Are you sure?" He asked one more time. I nodded, titling my head back and puckering my lips for him to meet mine. He cupped my cheek giving me a quick peck. "I'll be right back."
I glanced around the party looking to see the different celebrity faces that I recognized when someone's voice next to me had me startled.
"The famous Hayden," Drew said as he stood against the bar next to me with a smile. "I didn't know I'd see you here."
"I honestly wasn't sure where I was going tonight until we got here." I laughed because it was the truth.
"You came to the right place, its a great party." He said, trying o get the bartenders attention.
"Three whiskey sours please," He said, clearly getting drinks to bring back to his friends. "Can I get you a drink?" He shouted over the music, leaning closer so I could hear. I shook my head but mouthed a 'thank you' to him.
"Are you sure? You look like you could use one." He said making himself laugh which confused me even more.
"What do you mean?" I shouted.
"You just look like you're having a miserable time. I'll take one more whiskey sour." He nodded to the bartender, making me shake my head at the worker that I didn't want it.
"I'm not miserable, I'm just not drinking tonight." I said shrugging my shoulders.
"Why not? You should just let yourself have a good time." He said watching me closely. I didn't responded as I looked over my shoulder to see Shawn talking with a circle of people, one of them including Charlie.
When I looked back to Drew, he had three whiskey sours in front of him but continued to order another drink. The bartender then sat a large pink drink in front of me, that was severed in a fancy cup with a lime green straw.
"Don't worry it's a virgin." Drew said, grabbing my attention.
"Excuse me?" I said, not realizing what he was referring to. He chuckled, amused by my reaction and pointed to the drink.
"I meant the beverage, theres no alcohol in it." He said, holding the three other drinks in his hands.
"Oh, thank you." I said honestly, looking down at the cup knowing I was thirsty and it looked refreshing.
"Enjoy yourself. I'll see you around Hayden." He said before winking at me and disappearing into the crowd. I turned back to my drink analyzing it before taking a sip. The strawberry flavor mixed with pineapple tasted absolutely amazing, a combo I didn't think I'd enjoy.
**
"Its been a hour babe... you ready to go?" Shawn asked, walking back over to me. His voice clearly sounding like he wanted alone time, just the two us. I nodded taking another sip from my cup that was almost empty.
"Can I take a sip?" He asked, reaching over for the glass in front of me and brought it to his lips.
"How is Charlie liking his party?" I asked while watching him taste the drink.
"He says its a bit crowded." Shawn responded making me chuckle. "I think I agree."
"Wow that's good... you gotta be careful with those though." Shawn continued to say, placing the drink back down in front of me.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused, looking at the drink and back up at him.
"You can barley taste that it's spiked, that's the worst kind of drinks. They taste great but you don't realize how much alcohol your drinking." He said, while I just stared at him dumbfounded.
"But it's not spiked," I stated. Shawn's face fell as he noticed my demeanor change. My eyes were searching his, waiting for him to tell me that mine wasn't but he didn't.
"It is though Hay. There's vodka in that." He looked at the drink and back at me. "Who told you it wasn't alcohol?"
I felt enraged. I couldn't even look at Shawn as my eyes started to scan the room for Drew. But my anger was being over powered with my anxiety. I felt extremely uncomfortable with the thought of mixing alcohol with my medication, not knowing whether or not it would effect my treatment.
I stepped off the stool, taking deep breaths not knowing what to do with myself and hoping that I was going to be sick any second. I knew I was probably fine but there couldn't be any good side effects of mixing alcohol with heavy medications.
"What's wrong?" Shawn asked, clearly noticing I was anxious. He placed his hand on my arm to comfort me but his touch caused me to flinch. My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest from uneasiness, anxiousness and most of all anger.
I shook my head frantically, "I'm fine, I'm fine. I just wanna leave." I said crossing my arms over my chest.
"Let me get you a water." Shawn said, clearly not knowing what to do because of how quickly my mood changed. I bounced on the heels of my feet, glancing around the party for Drew but he was no where in sight.
"Here, drink some of this." Shawn said, holding a cup of ice water in front of me. I reached my head out to him, both of us noticing my shaky hands.
"Babe, what's going on?" He asked, watching me take big gulps of the cold water as tears brimmed my eyes.
"Can we leave please?" I begged as my voice shook. Shawn nodded, looking around the party.
"Let me just find Andrew and tell him that we're leaving. Do you want to meet me by the elevator?" I nodded in agreement, still keeping my arms crossed over my chest to comfort myself. Shawn towered over me, placing his hands on my shoulders and helped guide me through the crowd of people.
"I'll be right back," He said leaving me in front of the elevator. I pushed the button, hoping by the time Shawn was back it would be here.
I glanced towards the group of people standing near by and noticed Drew laughing along with his friends, obviously drunk. I quickly turned around, to walk in the opposite direction when I heard him call my name.
"Hayden leaving so soon?" Drew shouted behind me, jogging to catch up with me. He placed his hand on my arm and I immediately pulled away from him. "What are you mad at me or something?"
"What is wrong with you?" I said disgusted. I kept my arms crossed feeling extremely uncomfortable with what he did.
"What are you talking about?" He said sounding annoyed.
"You told me there was no alcohol in my drink." I watched him roll his eyes at me and then start laughing.
"I did you a favor, you seemed like you could use it. A drink isn't going to hurt you. Just ease up a little, have a good time." I squinted my eyes at him, getting angrier by the second.
I went to walk pass him but he stopped me, pulling my arm back. "Come on you can't actually be mad. What is a little bit of alcohol going to do to you huh?" He said pissed off.
My eyes wandered down to the drink in his hand before I looked back up at him saying something about how women need to stop being so over dramatic about everything. His sexist comment made me swing my hand underneath his cup, so his drink poured all down his outfit.
"Yo what the hell? Are you crazy, bitch?" He yelled causing attention from the other party goers.
"Screw you," I mumbled under my breath walking over to the elevator, pushing the button again.
"What the hell is going on?" Shawn said as he walked up next to me, noticing Drew trying to dry off his shirt.
Saved by the bell, the elevator door opened and I quickly grabbed onto Shawn's arm pulling him inside behind me. I quickly pressed the button for lobby, wanting to be anywhere but here right now.
"You fucking bitch." Drew shouted towards us, making Shawn stand straighter next to me. I immediately jumped in front of Shawn as he stepped forward to walk out of the elevator.
"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to her like that?!" Shawn yelled out the elevator door before it closed, his face flushed bright red in anger. The doors thankfully closed before Shawn could make his way around me towards Drew.
Today just wasn't going as planned.
**
The first twenty minutes of the car ride was silent. Shawn hasn't said a word and neither have I while we both had our attentions turned to opposite windows.
"Are you seriously not going to tell me what happened back there?" Shawn said, still sounding pissed off.
"He told me the drink wasn't alcohol... it didn't taste like alcohol to me." I said honestly shaking my head and looked out the window.
Shawn was quiet as he thought about my words. "So you poured his drink on him to get even?"
"I shouldn't have done that," I rubbed my hand over my face, thankful we were heading home.
"Yeah, problaby." Shawn still sounded pissed off. I glanced over at him noticing he wasn't looking at me.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked, furrowing my eyes at him.
"Did you tell Brian that you believed my opinion on us would change based on what the media said?" He spat out harshly.
"I didn't mean it like that-" I said trying to get him to relax as I already regretted my words.
"Then how exactly did you mean it?" He said cutting me off. "Cause from the looks of it, you think I take the media's opinions into account. Yeah, maybe when it comes to the music but not my personal life."
I could feel Shawn's anger radiating off of him as he spoke. "Did you think I was going to break up with you if they didn't approve?" Shawn said sarcastically. But I kept my mouth shut, not saying a word.
"I-I can't believe this," Shawn said, moving further away from me to look out the window. I went to speak when Shawn cut me off again. "I can't talk about this anymore right now, I just can't."
**
The second we walked through Shawn's apartment, he ran ahead of me down the hall and slammed his bedroom door still pissed. I didn't blame him, what I said was messed up. But I wasn't going to lie, I was worried about it in the moment but once I got my head clear I knew he wouldn't do that.
I slowly kicked my shoes off, leaving them by the door before making my way over to the fridge. I chugged a whole water bottle, knowing it would help me sober up as I already started to feel a bit tipsy from the drink.
The apartment was silent and I hated it, knowing Shawn was only down the hall. Once fifth-teen minutes passed, Shawn finally opened the bedroom door. He was changed into comfier clothes and had his hair pushed back in a headband.
He still avoided my gaze as I stood in the hall, watching him walk to the bathroom and back into his room. I ended up following him and stood in the doorway watching him sit on the edge of the bed with his back to me. I leaned against the door frame, crossing my arms as I still watched him.
"I'm going to take a bath, do you want to join me?" I asked but received no response. I nodded to myself understanding how the rest of the night was going to go.
I walked into the bathroom, taking the million bobby pins out of my hair before turning the water on to fill the tub. I poured some bubbles in, hoping it would help to relax me.
I started taking my jewelry off, leaving it on the counter, not wanting to disturb Shawn again in his room.
Once the tub was filled, I slipped out of my dress and went into the hot water. I sat against the side, letting my hands play with the bubbles as my thoughts were running a mile a minute. The hot water easing the stress off of my skin.
When I looked up, Shawn stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. I couldn't read his expression as he watched me. He then sighed before he started to lift his t-shirt over his head. I shifted in the large tub, bringing my knees to my chest so Shawn had more room for his tall figure to sit.
Once Shawn was stripped, he dipped into the tub, sitting on the opposite side of me. His eyes slowly met mine before I felt his fingers gasp my wrist softly under the water. He pulled me closer, wanting me to lay between his legs and against his chest. He gently pulled me through the water, into his chest before he wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered in the quiet room as my hand played with his fingers under the water. Shawn didn't say anything but leaned forward to rest his forehead against the side of my head.
"I hate when you think any less of yourself because you're my favorite person... and I've never seen a single flaw, so why would I care about other people's opinions on us when I know I'm in love with you?" Shawn asked honestly, hoping for a answer.
Butterflies erupted in my stomach by his words. I reached up running my fingers through his damp curls. He tightened his grip around my body, closing his eyes at the feeling of my fingers grazing his scalp.
"I don't believe that you would do that. In the moment it was just the first worry I had and I second guessed it. I'm sorry." I spoke again, turning my head to place a kiss on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry to, I shouldn't have acted the way I did with so many different things today. I'm sorry honey," He said, kissing the top of my head before resting his cheek against the same spot. His hand intertwined with mine under the water
Shawn cleared his throat before speaking, "I kind've saw some of the other artists staring at you earlier."
I couldn't help but laugh, hearing it echo against the bare walls. I lightly pushed him away, jokingly. "Ha ha very funny."
"No honestly... that's why I got so annoyed when you ran out and Geoff followed. I didn't know what to think because I already felt like I was searching everyone's eyes that were looking our way." He said and my mind went back to the girls I over heard in the bathroom, knowing they were pretty fond of Shawn.
"I mean you're the kind of woman every man dreams of, so no wonder they couldn't look away but I wanted to make sure they knew you were taken." Shawn said making me chuckle at his jealously coming out. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, lowering his head to place a kiss on my collar bone. "You're my dream woman."
**
Shawn and I stayed in the tub until we were prunes, talking like we were back to normal. I stepped out first and reached for the towel placed on the countertop. I wrapped it around my body, hearing the water swish behind me as Shawn stepped out following my movements. I walked in front of the mirror, pulling out my mint face mask and started to apply it on my cheeks.
Shawn wrapped his arms around me and pressed my back into his chest, making me smile. I could tell his mind was still wandering around from our conversation and the day we both had.
"Can I get some of that?" Shawn asked making me chuckle and turn in his arms. I softly reached up, spreading the refreshing product onto his face. I gently smoothed it out, making sure I didn't get anything near his eyes. Once Shawn opened his eyes, I noticed how watery they were as they stared back down at me.
"Shawn?" I spoke softly, cupping his cheek. He sniffled and shook his head, leaning forward to place his lips on the top of my head. "Baby," I said, running my hand up and down his back, not knowing what was wrong.
"Can you stay?" He whispered, making me shut my eyes. I intertwined my hands with his as he pressed his chest into mine. He leaned forward so our noses were resting against each other.
"I-I can't," I felt guilty, but I couldn't stay another day because of my doctors appointments. I opened my eyes to see his honey eyes staring right back at me. I watched as his eyes fill even more and I placed my hands behind his neck to comfort him. To my surprise he pulled away slightly making me place my hands back down his chest. "Bubs, you know I can't."
Shawn covered his eyes, taking two steps away from me, making my heart tighten. I watched his chest rise and fall slowly as he worked on his breathing exercises. I walked up to him wrapping my arms around his waist and placing my head against his bare chest.
I knew he has been going through a rough time with his anxiety but he only had a couple of more shows to go.
"It's almost over... only a few more shows left and then you're off. It'll be a break from traveling each night, you'll get to see your family and you'll be able to just stay home." I said as I could feel his chest heave against my body.
He softly dropped his arm, to wrap around me. I turned my head up to him and rested my chin against his chest.
"Home is wherever you are," He whispered before kissing the top of my head. I squeezed my arms a little tighter around his waist, not wanting to leave him either. I could just feel the stress radiating off of him.
His eyes were red as he held back his tears and reached down to place his fingers under my chin. He tilted my head up to him, softly pecking my lips twice.
I couldn't help but laugh against his lips when he leaned in for a third kiss. He pulled away and a small smile formed in the corner of his mouth. "What are you laughing at?"
"We look like two lost ninja turtles," I chuckled again as I looked up at the mint face mask still on his face. He laughed with me, wiping his eyes quickly as his mood was already changing.
I reached my own hand up wiping his cheeks for him as he met my eyes. "It's going to be okay bubs, you're almost done."