Katherine Petals sat at her work table, nursing a cup of tea. Seated in front of the small window, she was taking a short break while her bread finished baking. Looking out to the sea, her thoughts naturally drifted to her only offspring. She offered up her prayers, asking the good Lord to watch over her son for her. He was the only family she had, and she tended to worry a bit when he was out on the open water. Especially when a particularly vicious storm rolled through, as one had blown through mightily last week. She had no way of knowing if his ship had encountered the storm or not, but she was a mother, and mothers tended to work up the worst case scenario sometimes. It did not matter in the least that he was now a full grown man, fully capable of caring for himself. Once a mother, always a mother, and the only way she had ever found to relieve her anxiety when he was away from her, was through prayer. She mentally pictured her beautiful boy, his entire ship and every one of his men, cupped in God's hands. Then she gave the whole bundle to Him to protect and watch over.
Sometimes, once was good enough. At other times, it was as if something was telling her additional prayer was needed and must be attended to. She had an odd feeling this time. For the most part, she was at peace twas not Violet or his ship that caused her anxiety, there was something else disturbing her well being. She could not know exactly what it was, but she was being pulled to prayer none the less. She finally concluded her pleas by asking, that whatever the situation may be, the Lord's will be done. Only then, was she able to let it go and continue with her tasks.
Once a week, on Monday mornings, Katherine baked. She only needed two loaves of bread for herself, but she always baked an even dozen, taking the additional loaves to others that needed a little bit of help in her small, tightknit community. She owed this community so much, as they had helped her, a single mother, to raise her son. Violet had grown up here, accepted and loved by all. The old adage, it takes a village to raise a child, had been proven true in their case. The Marks family had treated him as one of their own, Josh's mother had let Violet stay at their house, just as often as she had let Josh come stay at theirs. None in the town had ostracized Violet, or herself, or called him by that name Katherine could not even bring herself to think.
They all knew, of course, as the small community had witnessed her entire courtship, her waiting, and then finally, her pregnancy. Katherine had been convinced that she would have to go away to have her child, to raise him somewhere other than the only place she had ever known. These people she had known all her life were such good souls, she could not stand the thought of bringing shame to them with her foolish actions. She had actually been at the task of packing her belongings, when the entire church body showed up at her door, asking her to please stay. She had been wrapping her mother's china, taking great care to see that no piece would come to harm as tears had slid unchecked down her cheeks, wetting the paper she was wrapping the heirlooms in. The knock had come at her door when she least expected it, a Wednesday eve, when all were usually in their little church for the mid week service. She had hoped no one had noticed her thickening waistline, but they had, and they had also assumed what had happened. Apparently she, and her predicament, had been the topic of the meeting that week.
What Katherine had not counted on, was their understanding and forgiveness. Being that she was ashamed of herself, she assumed the people she knew, would be too. She found that the townsfolk not only had watched her grow up, and loved her, but that these people took care of their own. They would not let her simply disappear and take her shame with her. The same people that had stood by her when her parents passed, had stood by her once more, to the point of understanding that everyone made mistakes, and that she would need their help and support even more than before. None of them had wanted her child to feel the shame that an innocent little baby had nothing to do with.
Katherine carried that shame upon her own shoulders. Her tiny town had reassured her that she was valuable and cared about, that God forgave, and restored. The pastor had handmade a small cradle for her baby, the women had sewed tiny garments and little blankets, in anticipation of a new little life being added into their midst. From the moment Katherine sat weeping into her hands at their generosity of spirit, none had shown any indication that they judged her and found her lacking. In fact the opposite had been true. She had felt loved and protected, as they had wrapped her in their arms, one after the other, telling her that she had a family she could lean on who would help carry her through. She had gone to the little church with these people all her life, and they had shown her what God's love really looked like, just when she needed it most.
She had been a young woman of ten and eight years, with stars in her eyes, young love in her heart, when she had believed the words of a very persuasive, very handsome, young man. She had counted on marriage and a love that would last forever. The marriage had never come about, however, the love, to this day, had still never died. She and Marcus had aged, maturing into different people than they had been then, yet the draw in their hearts to one another had not faded. They had one solid thing that kept the love alive. They had their son.
Violet did not resemble his father in an obvious way. Violet actually looked very much as Katherine's own father must have looked when he was a young man. The same iris colored eyes as his grandfather, his height and build, even the same joyous way of looking at life. From the moment Violet was born, Katherine knew she would not regret her previous weakness any longer, if it meant Violet would not have existed. He had always been her pride, her joy, her finest accomplishment. To have the pleasure of watching him grow, to be the one he ran to telling the adventures of his day, to get to hold him and see his shining face every morn, this was worth any hardship she may have had to endure. That he may one day give her grandchildren, a sweet bright boy such as himself, or a precious little girl with his own violet eyes, would be joy enough for Katherine to have in her life for the rest of her days here on earth.
Katherine knew, that quite frequently, Violet saw things that would devastate a stronger man than he. But he did not let that stop him from doing what he thought was right. He channeled all his strength into helping support these people that had always been there to help them. He had paid this village back many times over, not even realizing the true depth of her own debt to them.
Katherine had been born to older parents. The couple had given up the thought of bearing any children for quite a few years, before they were blessed with her birth. She was a pleasant surprise for them in their middle age, and they had maturity on their side, if not longevity. In Katherine's sixteenth year, her father had passed, his heart having lived long enough, and her mother followed soon after. They had been so closely connected, it seemed that one simply could not go on without the other. They had raised Katherine well, living in this village all their lives, they gave her the security of a cottage and a caring community. She was loved by all, thought of as a kind and caring girl, taking good care of her parents as they aged and reaching out to also help others whenever a need arose.
The townspeople knew the real Katherine, and they loved her enough to cover her sins when she had been weak. When she had been wronged. She had known better than to lie with Marcus before true vows were spoken. But she had wanted to believe so badly, that she would have someone to love, and to love her. For a short time, Marcus had filled the empty place in her heart her parents passing had left her with. He had also left her with Violet, and she had never felt alone again, with the rambunctious boy's happy chatter and running footsteps to listen to.
Katherine's eyes glowed with pleasure, as she thought of the three small children all tucked in her bed for their nap, at the present moment. She had gone out for her morning walk along the shore early this morning, stopping in to see Sissy, Josh's wife, on her way back and had found the young mother feeling poorly. Sissy was expecting again, and she never did very well during the first half of her confinement. Josh did not know as of yet, that he had another on the way, but Katherine could not imagine a better couple to have at least a dozen children, as they were both very good parents. This would only be their fourth, but it was more than enough, that if Sissy was feeling poorly, a bit of help with the other three was greatly appreciated. Sissy's malady usually only lasted the mornings, so Katherine would take some bread, and the babes, along back to their home after they awoke from their nap.
She had finished her walk with the little ones, collecting seashells and pretty rocks, sufficiently wearing them out, so that they were content to play quietly with the toys in the chest when they arrived at Katherine's cottage. She had been able to start her dough, letting it rise while supervising their play. She was happy to have the sound of children in the cottage, as Violet had, as of yet, not shown any tendencies to settle down and give her grandchildren. She made do where she could, enjoying whatever babes God sent her way. Josh and Sissy's children were well behaved, sweet children, full of wonder and joy, and watching them brought her joy as well. She tended to get a little lonely when Violet had been gone for months at a time.
She could always tell from the yeasty smell when her bread had baked long enough, and the aroma was calling her to pull the loaves from the oven, before setting them out to cool. Once that was done, she poured another cup of tea, and sat down to await the children's awakening. As the tea steeped on a side table, she picked up her craft and started setting stitches. Marcus was due for his annual visit in a few weeks. He always came on the week of his birthday, which he wanted to spend with her and Violet, and she was making him a jerkin this year. It was half a practical gift, and half a recalling of days past. Marcus had mentioned last year, wishing he could sail off with Violet one of these times. She knew he missed the sea a tiny bit, but she mostly believed he wished for his youth to return. It had been in his sailing days, when they two had met and fallen in love with one another, conceiving Violet in the midst of their youthful dreams. Katherine knew that Marcus had meant every word he had spoken to her in the small churchyard, she also knew he had loved her, and still did. She knew he had wanted to follow through on his promises. Life, and it's realities, sometimes just got in the way. One could be furtively watching the front door for joy to come through, as sorrow crept in through the back entrance.
She had forgiven Marcus long ago. And while that did not make it better, it made seeing him, and spending time with him, bearable. She would never deny Violet the chance to know his father, even if it meant he could not know their true relationship. She knew Violet loved Marcus also, she saw it growing, as he grew. He had wanted to impress Marcus, to have Marcus be proud of him. It had hurt her heart to lie to her son, yet Marcus simply could not claim him. They both, she and Marcus, knew the kind of boy Violet was, he had always been strong willed, extremely confident, and a bearer of truth. Violet could not have lived with the lie. He would have hated Marcus for what had transpired, as Violet held herself in the highest esteem, he would have demanded that Marcus leave them alone, as Marcus had left her alone all those years ago. She had thought in the beginning, that any relationship he could have with his father, was better than not having one at all. She had protected Marcus, while at the same time, leaving herself open to heartbreak.
Her greatest fear was when Violet discovered the truth. She feared he would never be able to forgive her, that he would feel the betrayal so deeply, that it would cause him to never trust her or look at her the same way again. In spite of his strength, Vi had an extremely soft heart, he could not pass a person on the street who was hurting, that he did not try to find some way to help. She did not want that part of Violet violated in any way. She did not ever want to see him hurt and disillusioned by this thing she had done. She did not want to see him grow jaded and hard. It would simply kill her spirit, if he were to ever look at her in the way she most feared, if his eyes should ever look upon her as someone he had never really known. As he was growing up, they had been so close, he was her little man in whom she was so proud. When he was small, about three or four years, he used to tell her he would grow up and marry her himself. He had simply been the sweetest child. From the moment he was born, he had owned her heart, she had protected and loved him to the best of her abilities. He was her gift from God, making up for any losses she had had to bear in her life. She had not minded the hero worship Vi had shown whenever Marcus came to visit. It had warmed her heart to see their two heads bent together over some task or conversation. After all, Marcus' time was limited. He would eventually have to return to his real life, leaving them behind, once again.
So many times she had wanted to tell Violet the truth, for her own peace of mind, as she was truly a most honest person. Katherine was under no illusion, however, that Violet would not hate Marcus. That he would demand to know what Marcus had been thinking, to do the things he had done all those years ago. Mayhap Marcus deserved that, then again, mayhap, he did not. Katherine had not been there when his father, the Marquess, had been dying. She could not know the pressure he had felt, as a young man, to fulfill his own dying father's wishes.
She had tried to alleviate her heartbreak over Marcus' actions, telling herself that Marcus had not known he had gotten her with child, when he had abandoned her to appease his father's wishes. This knowledge had not helped very much, though, as she raised their beautiful son alone, as she slept in her bed every night alone, as she had worried when Violet was small and ill, all alone.
Marcus' one saving grace had been that he had not completely deserted them. He had at least been man enough to come back and try to explain. He had knocked upon her door, entered with his head hanging, taken one look at her rounded belly and had fallen to his knees. He had wrapped his arms around her growing waist, and sobbed his heartbreak, begging her forgiveness, promising to provide for her and the child that was obviously growing within her. She had held his head tightly against her, more than a little bit in shock, as that was not how it was supposed to go. She had been awaiting the return of her love, to marry, and to live together happily, as long as God graced them life together. She had thought that her babe would be legitimized, loved, and wanted. She had ended up with two out of the three. Marcus definitely loved and wanted Violet, she could not count the times he had told her that he wished they had been his true family to claim. She knew it would not have been easy, they would have had to have come up with an income, somehow. But Marcus had land, there were many things you could do with land to reap a profit, one only had to be willing to put in hard work. A life lived with Marcus, Violet and herself, would have been worth any amount of toil that was necessary. But being that that had not come to pass, she could not have asked for a better place, or better people with which to live her life and raise her son. She was so thankful Violet had never known anything but love and acceptance from these dear ones she called friends. She had missed the joys of marriage, of having a man to love and care for, but at least she had a gift from him to care for and love all these years. Her son's love meant the world to her.
She held to the belief, that Marcus, as a son, had loved his own father so, that he could not bear to disappoint him as he lay dying.
It was much kinder to herself, and him, than believing that he had not loved her enough to fight for what could have been. Yes, Marcus had turned her world upside down, but she would not trade Violet, or the steadfast love of her neighbors, for a marriage in truth and a houseful of children. She was content with what she had been given.
Katherine was roused from her musings upon hearing the children stirring, she set aside her project, drinking the tea to fortify her before she walked them home. She would still need to hand out the bread this afternoon, but she would be four loaves lighter after visiting with Sissy a bit. She knew it was hard on the young mother with Josh gone, having three rambunctious children to tend to along with the morning sickness. Katherine thought she would walk through town a bit first with the children, and stop for a visit in the churchyard. Let the children play in the sunshine while she visited her father and mum in the little cemetery. She could even take the children the back way, and have them help her gather some flowers, to leave on the graves of those that had left them too soon. They could always stop back by here and pick up the loaves on the way back to Sissy's. She felt a need to be close to her parents for just a little while, as it was times like this, when her soul was a little troubled, that she missed them most.
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Love to all <3