"So here's what you missed on Glee. The glee club's getting ready for Nationals," The Narrator said as clip of the New Directions practicing played. "Kurt had to leave McKinley because Karofsky threatened him," the narrator said as the clip showed Sue, Burt, and Kurt in Sue's office. "I can't expel a kid for shoving. He'll just say, "I didn't mean to shove that kid. I tripped." Excuse works like a charm. I use it all the time," Sue shrugged. "But at least he's got Blaine and the Warblers, who just lost at Regionals to the New Directions," the voice over said as we cut to Kurt and Blaine after their loss. "We got each other out of all this. That beats a lousy trophy, don't you think?" Blaine said as Kurt smiled back at him. "Santana's got it bad for Brittany," the Narrator said as we go to a clip of Santana talking to Brittany in the hall. "I'm angry because I have all of these feelings – feelings for you – that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences," Santana said to Brittany in the hall. "Sue lost her sister and the Glee Club helped out with the funeral service then this happened," the narrator said as we cut to Will and Sue in Sue's office. "I want you to donate your sperm so that I can have your child," Sue said as Will looked stunned. "And that's what you missed on," the narrator said. "GLEE!" The voice sang.
Cut to the hallway where Rachel is looking at herself in the mirror feeling incredibly insecure about the way she looks. "Insecurities, everyone has them. Even people who seem the most secure about themselves have something that they feel unhappy with or wish they could change. Even though I might look confident and proud of who I am, I have them too," Rachel said in a voice over as she looks at Brittany, Santana, and Quinn who are hanging out together. "Since Finn and I broke up, I keep worrying that he'll go back to dating Brittany, Santana, or even get back with Quinn. I just wish there was someway I could feel more confident. That I could be a pretty girl that Finn wanted me to be," Rachel said in a voice over as she then stared at Quinn's nose. "That's it! I could get a nose job to look more Fabray-ic. Finn's running with her for Prom Court if I looked more like Quinn, maybe it would be the key to get him back," Rachel thought to herself in a voice over as she walked off.
Cut to Will's office where Sue knocks on his door as Will looks up. "Hey buddy, have you given any more thought about my offer?" Sue asked. "I have...I just have a question," Will said. "Sure," Sue said as she sat down. "Why me? I mean since I've known you, you've never had anything nice to say about me and now you want me to be the father of your child? I want to know why," Will asked as Sue sighed. "Well, In case you haven't noticed, I have a little bit of a mean streak. I'm cunning, I'm vindictive, I spend a large portion of every day vibrating with a palpable sense of wild, irrational rage. And I don't ever want my kid to feel that. And every time I've insulted you or tried to stop you in your crusade to ruin pop culture by wiping your woolly behind with the American songbook, you've always risen up and met me with kindness. If goodness and optimism are somehow genetic, that's what I want for my child," Sue said as Will looked in shock. "I had no idea you thought that much of me Sue," Will said. "Well William, I do," Sue said honestly "And I would love it if you would be the father of this child, I understand if you say no but I wanted to tell you exactly how I felt." Sue then left Will's office leaving him once again with a lot to think about.
Cut to Glee Club rehearsal. "Mr. Schue. There's something I need to talk to the Glee Club about," Rachel said. "Okay Rachel. The floor is yours," Mr. Schue said as Rachel grinned as she got up. "I'm...considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum," Rachel announced as the Glee Club looked shocked. "Oh my God, you're getting a nose job," Quinn said shocked. "Look, I'm... I'm happy with the way that I look, okay? And I've embraced my nose. But let's say I wanted to have a slightly more demure nose. Like Quinn's, for example. I-I would never change my appearance for vanity, but, I mean, the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for Nationals," Rachel said as Quinn made a face this couldn't be happening. "Possibly? What about the risks? Your voice is amazing as is, Rachel," Mr. Schue said as Quinn nodded to agree.
"Hold up. Could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel's got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn't know because, like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things that we wouldn't change about ourselves?" Santana said as everyone made a face "I'm sure that Sam's been at the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction," Santana said as Sam covered his lips as Quinn wrapped a supportive arm around him knowing how much of an insecurity his mouth was. "I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyways," Santana said as Artie looked back at her annoyed "And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked into getting an eye de-slanting," Santana shrugged as everyone looked back at her annoyed. "That's extraordinarily racist," Tina said. "I'm keepin' it real," Santana shrugged. "Sorry, Santana. I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself, and I would never change a thing," Tina said. "Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina?" Mike asked Tina as her murmured "Self-hating Asian." "Not many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to be in fashion and mirror what I see in the magazines," Tina shrugged. "My dancing kind of bothers me but I like the way I look," Finn shrugged as Santana made a face. "Oh, please. You have weird, puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they're filled with custard," Santana said coldly as Sam tried to look at Finn's nipples but Finn slapped him away. "You could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass for some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel's fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is that if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it," Santana shrugged.
"Like you did when you got a boob job?" Quinn shot back at Santana. "Why yes Bristol Palin that's exactly what I'm talking about. Besides, there's nothing you can do about having your bastard child last year," Santana smirked as Quinn looked ready to fight Santana as Mr. Schue interrupted. "Whoa, guys. I'm really shocked at what I'm hearing here. It goes against everything the glee club stands for. I'm telling you, the thing you would most like to change about yourself is the most interesting part of you," Mr. Schue said to all of them seriously. "Well, maybe, but at this school, the thing that makes you different is the thing people use to crush your spirit," Mercedes said as Mr. Schue couldn't help but look at all of the New Directions worriedly as Rachel took her seat.
Cut to Will and Emma in Emma's office as they are cleaning off the grapes. "Rachel's a beautiful girl. She doesn't need a nose job. Saying that she's doing it to enrich her talent is just a convenient excuse to deal with the fact that she's insecure about how she looks," Will sighed. "Most of the adults we know have trouble embracing their eccentricities, so how can we expect kids to?" Emma said honestly. "Well, then, it should be our job to help them. I don't want my legacy as a teacher to be conjugated verbs and Glee Club trophies. I want to help them love themselves for who they are, warts and all-Especially warts," Will said as Emma was examining the grapes. "How long do we have to do this for?" Will asked Emma. "Until they're all clean," Emma said matter of factly. "I mean, I'm really enjoying helping you with your OCD but shouldn't we be figuring out some techniques you can use to eat your food without scrubbing it?" Will asked. "You mean with germs and pesticides all over it?" Emma frowned. "No, I mean, really deal with your issues on this stuff," Will explained. "Will, I've tried, you know, and I... I may not have been born this way, but this is my lot in life. There's nothing I can do about it," Emma sighed as that gave Will an idea for this week's lesson. "Thank you," Will smiled. "What for?" Emma asked. "I know how I'm going to get the kids to accept what their differences are–By using their two favorite teachers: Me and Gaga...but I'm gonna need your help," Will said as Emma smiled a bit wanting to help Will any way she could.
Cut to the hallway where Rachel approaches Quinn. "Quinn...can I talk to you?" Rachel asked. "Sure," Quinn said as she walked with Rachel down the hall as she sighed. "Look, I know this is weird of me to ask of you but I was wondering if you'd accompany me to the doctor's office for some photos so I could see what I would look like if I got your nose," Rachel said. "You're serious about getting this nose job?" Quinn said shocked. "Of course I am. Quinn, we all know every guy stops and stares at you because you are the prettiest girl here. For once in my life I want to feel like a pretty girl. I want to look like you," Rachel sighed as Quinn was stunned. It meant so much to her that Rachel wanted to be more like her but there was a part of her that wanted to tell Rachel that she was beautiful just the way she was. "I'll do it," Quinn smiled as Rachel giggled as she hugged Quinn tight. Quinn smiled back a little unsure if she had made the right choice in deciding to help Rachel.
Cut to Santana defacing Finn and Quinn's Prom King and Queen posters as well as Puck and Lauren's. "I should be prom queen at this school. If I were prom queen, I could get Brittany to drop the four-eyed loser and go for the real queen," Santana said in her voice over as she looked longingly at Brittany "She's so gullible, I could convince her that by royal decree, I'd made her being with me the law of the land. That's never going to happen. I don't have the votes. Unless I could get the jock block." Santana thought about it as Karofsky passed by. "There's someone at this school who just might have the juice...Dave Karofsky," Santana thought as she then caught Karofsky staring at Sam's butt "Holy crap. I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch which means one thing. I have awesome gaydar." Santana smirks walking off realizing exactly what she need to do to get the votes for Prom Queen.
The next day at Glee Club Mr. Schue was writing the word 'Acceptance' on the board as Finn raised his hand. "Um, why is Ms. Pillsbury here?" he asked. "She's helping us out with this week's assignment," Mr. Schue smiled as he turned around "Now, this is the only club at school that is represented by just about every race, religion, sexual orientation and clique, but many of you are still having a hard time with acceptance." "That's crazy, Mr. Shue. We love each other," Mercedes said shaking her head. "No, I won't deny that you accept each other, but you don't accept yourselves. This week's assignment has two parts. I want all of you to sing songs about accepting yourself for who you are– The best and the worst parts," Mr. Schue said. "What's the second part?" Rachel asked. "Well, we're going to do a group number by the queen of self-love–Gaga," Mr. Schue said as the New Directions cheered "We're going to perform her anthem to acceptance– "Born This Way."."
"Wait, wait, I still don't know why Ms. Pillsbury is here," Finn said. "I'm here to help you with your costumes for the big number. Each of you will be issued a beautifully fitted white T-shirt. We will then use this letter press...to write a word or a phrase that best describes the thing about you that you're the most ashamed of or you'd like to change but you can't because you were born that way, which is super terrific," Miss Pillsbury smiled. "I want you to love those parts of you, you know, embrace them, wear them on your chest with pride," Mr. Schue said. "Can you give an example?" Mike asked. "Yeah," Mr. Schue said. Miss Pillsbury took a deep breath as she opened her sweater to reveal her shirt says GINGER. "Wow, Emma, I thought the whole purpose of you doing this was to write..." Mr. Schue began as Miss Pillsbury cut him off. "Being a ginger has plagued me my entire life. People say that I smell like copper, I can get a sunburn indoors at night, and according to recent legend, I have no soul, but I'm here to say that this very curse is what makes me unique. Children, I claim my ginger hood before you today. I was born this way. Hooray. Hooray! Hooray!" Miss Pillsbury grinned as the bell rang and we headed out for the day.
Cut to Breadstix where Santana is having dinner with Karofsky. "I knew you'd ask me out eventually. I'm kind of Duke Stud at McKinley," Karofsky smirked. "Give it up. I know," Santana said rolling her eyes. "Know what?" Karofsky asked. "That you're gay," Santana said folding her arms. "What? Who told you that?" Karofsky asked annoyed. "No one had to tell me. First of all, I saw you checking out Sam's ass the other day. You know, you really need to be more careful with your leering," Santana said. "I didn't. I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing," Karofsky muttered. "Like that's any less gay. Second of all, I know about you and Kurt. Remember last week before the benefit? About you being worried about "the truth" getting out. Guess what. It's out," Santana said as Karofsky looked annoyed. "Whatever they told you is a lie to mess with me. I'm going to kick their asses," Karofsky huffed.
"Okay, you know what? Why don't you just settle down and let Auntie Tana here tell you a little story. It's about you. You're what we call a "late in life gay." You're going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, maybe become a state senator or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page, and you know what? I accept that about you," Santana smirked. "Why are you doing this?" Karofsky asked. "Because I need you, and you need me. We play on the same team," Santana sighed. "You're..." Karofsky began. "Look, I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top yet, either. Maybe in junior college," Santana said. "This is garbage. I'm not gay," Karofsky huffed. "I'm trying to help you out here. Have you ever heard of the term "beards?" It's when a gay man and woman date each other to hide the fact that they're gay. Like the Roosevelts. So you and I are going to be each other's beards, and then we're going to win prom king and queen and rule the school," Santana said. "And what if I say no?" Karofsky asked. "Then I'm going to tell everyone about you, and your life will be over. The only straight I am is straight-up bitch," Santana smirked before asking "You in or not?" Karofsky knew he only had one choice and that choice was going to determine the rest of his high school career.
Cut to the doctor's office where Quinn is with Rachel for her appointment. "Thanks for doing this," Rachel sighed as Quinn smiled at her. "Of course. Anything to help a friend," Quinn said simply as Rachel sighed. "Since we're friends can I ask you something?" Rachel asked. "Sure," Quinn shrugged as Rachel took a deep breath. "Why are you running with Finn for Prom court? I mean you're dating Sam plus I thought that was something the old you would want," Rachel said as Quinn sighed "It is something the old me would've wanted but hearing you say that you aspired to be like me, that's what I want to be. As for Sam, he can't run with me for Prom Court since he's a sophomore, which is why Finn said he would run for Prom Court with me," Quinn explained seriously as Rachel seemed relieved. "So you're not in love with Finn?" she asked. "I was once but not anymore. I love Sam," Quinn said honestly. "Is that why you were so against our relationship?" Rachel asked as Quinn shot her a look, she had never been against Rachel and Finn's relationship. Their conversation was interrupted by the doctor arriving.
"Okay. So, we, uh, ready to pull the trigger?" the doctor asked. "No, not... not quite yet. Um, I was kind of hoping that I could get an idea of what I might look like after the procedure. Um, this is my friend Quinn," Rachel said introducing Quinn to the doctor. "Nice nose," the doctor said. "Thank you," Quinn said awkwardly. "Very nice," the doctor nodded. "Yeah, well, Rachel wants it," Quinn shrugged. "No problem. So I'll click some pics, make up some photo composites. We'll be ready to rock and roll," the doctor said as Quinn put a supportive arm around Rachel as they made their way into the office to get the pictures done as Quinn and Rachel pictured themselves singing a mashup of 'I Feel Pretty' from West Side Story and 'Unpretty' by TLC.
Everyone cheered for Rachel and Quinn in the Glee Club as they finished the song. Quinn looked back at Rachel regretfully wishing she would've spoken up and said something as she then took her seat. "Mr. Schuester? May I have the floor, please?" Rachel asked. "It's yours," Mr. Schue said as Rachel got up. "So, as all of you know, I've had a few consultations with a doctor who specializes in rhinoplasty," Rachel said. "Yes, we know. That's all any of us have been talking about. And we think it's a terrible idea," Tina said. "Okay. Blue eyes, you're such a hypocrite," Rachel said folding her arms. "I admit, yes, I don't like my eyes sometimes–The shape, the color–But your self-hatred, Rachel, has helped me see the light," Tina said. "I love myself," Rachel protested. "Not enough, clearly," Tina said. "When you get a nose job, when you change your eyes, when you bleach your freckles, you're just announcing to the world, "I don't like myself very much." The drams of this week have made me realize, if I don't have many Asian sex symbols to look up to, I have an obligation to maybe become one myself. My new mantra is "Be the change you want to see in the world."," Tina said. "I love you so much right now," Mike grinned as he kissed Tina. The two soon passionately made out. "Okay, okay, okay," Mr. Schue said as he pulled them apart.
"Besides Tina's abrupt personal transformation, the compositions came back from the doctor, showing what my nose would look like slightly altered, and I have to say, I'm really happy with the results. They're less Hebraic, and more Fabrayic," Rachel grinned as she showed the club the pictures as most of them cringed. "That doesn't really look like you," Mr. Schue said shaking his head. "Every year, girls show up to my temple after their 16th birthday, looking suddenly slightly different. And you know what? Even though it's easier to make out with them without getting constantly stabbed in the eye, they're not as hot," Puck said upset. "Well, this isn't about being hot. It's about conquering your destiny, and finding something in yourself that you want to change and change it. Plus, they said that it could improve my voice, so...Look, if you guys aren't willing to support my decision, then I'm pretty accustomed to making it on my own," Rachel said as Finn then said. "Rachel, please don't do this. You're beautiful," Finn said as Rachel then hesitated but then stayed firm in her decision. "This isn't a discussion. I have made up my mind. Rachel Berry is getting a nose job," Rachel said as the bell rang.
Cut to the teacher's lounge as Will walks up to Emma. "Hey," Emma smiled. "Hey," Will smiled back. "How's the assignment going?" Emma asked. "Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that," Will said. "Oh," Emma said. "The word you put on your T-shirt," Will said. "Ginger?" Emma asked. "Right. I was a little disappointed. You and I both know you should have put OCD on it," Will said. "Well, I don't think it's appropriate to talk about such personal things with them. Really, those kids have to trust me. I'm supposed to be a role model," Emma frowned. "And you're not being one. We're trying to teach these kids to...to accept themselves, and you refuse to," Will frowned. "Will, you know I wasn't born this way. It all started when I was five," Emma said. "And you never had any anxiety before that?" Will asked. "I understand I was a very colicky baby. I mean, I remember getting kicked out of preschool because I was having panic attacks when they made us use manila paper, but..." Emma began. "You have a severe anxiety disorder, Emma. All of us just humor it because you function so well, and you're so cute about it, but it's really keeping you from enjoying your life," Will said honestly. "Okay, fine. Do you know what? If you want me to wear a shirt that says "Batty" or "Loon" on it, I will. Totally fine. So what if I like my fruit free of contaminants? Isn't that healthy?" Emma frowned. "I'm just trying to help you get better. I think accepting the fact that you have a problem is the first step," Will said. "Okay, what? And you think torturing me about my disorder going to make me take that step?" "You know what I think, Emma? I think you are an expert at deflection," Will said. "Is that a new shirt?" Emma asked. "And I think you work so hard at helping other people–counseling them–So that you can avoid doing the hard, painful work on yourself," Will said as he left the teacher's lounge leaving Emma alone with a lot to think about.
Cut to the choir room where Figgins is standing upfront with Karofsky as the New Directions break out in commotion. "Okay, listen, I'm all...That's all I'm asking for. Let me finish. Excuse me. Quiet! Quiet, okay?" Figgins said to all of the New Directions. "We don't care what he has to say," Finn said. "Shh. Now, I know David has had some issues in the past, but I have great respect for what he's doing right now, and I ask you to hear him out. Thank you," Figgins said. "How 'bout we punch his face in?" Sam muttered. "Okay, that's enough, guys. Everyone listen up," Mr. Schue said as they listened to Karofsky. "First, I just want to say how sorry I am for what I did to Kurt and for what I've done to a lot of you. I think I've slushied every one of you. I treated Kurt the worst, and I'm really ashamed of who I am and what I did," Karofsky frowned. "Why should we believe you?" Puck shot at Karofsky. "You don't have to. I know I'll need to earn your trust. All I can say is that Santana has really helped me to see the light," Karofsky said as they all looked at Santana, shocked at the fact that she had done something so selfless.
"She showed me all these stories online about kids jumping off of bridges and hanging themselves because they were being bullied so bad. I couldn't believe someone could make another person feel that awful, but she helped me accept that I was one of those bad people, and I don't want to be anymore," Karofsky said. "Wait. Santana?" Quinn said surprised as Santana got up and joined Karofsky. "This Glee Club is not complete. Not without Kurt. So I've taken it upon myself to try to rehabilitate Dave to see if maybe Kurt would consider coming back and help us win nationals. I did this for us, and then something funny happened. Something...called love," Santana said as she and Karofsky held hands. Brittany's face fell as they held hands as most of the New Directions looked like they couldn't believe it. "I'm going to barf," Tina said as Puck also gagged. "I want Kurt to feel safe to come back, which is why Santana and I have started a new club–The Bully Whips," Karofsky said. "The name was my idea. We're going to be like guardian angels," Santana said. "I have deputized David and Santana and the rest of their club to roam the halls, identifying bullying and stopping it in its tracks," Figgins said.
Cut to a clip of Santana and Karofsky in action as the Bully Whips as Azimino is a harassing another student. "I'm saying I want the pants, okay? The ones you have on right now," Azimio smirked. "Then, what will I wear for the rest of the day?" The kid asked. "That's a YP– Your problem, not an MP– My problem," Azimio smirked as Karofsky and Santana approached him. "Hey, Z, back off," Karofsky said. "Say what? What is this? Berets?" Azimio asked. "Everyone deserves a safe school environment. Don't pick on this kid. It's not cool, and we won't allow it anymore," Santana smirked as we cut back to the choir room. "I'm planning on reaching out to Kurt personally, through Principal Figgins, to try to make amends. This is a chance to really change this place. I hope you can support us," Karofsky said as the New Directions were surprised by this as the bell rang.
Cut to Figgins' office where Burt, Kurt, Mr. Schue, Karofsky, and his dad Paul are all seated to talk. "You know, you talk a great game, but all I'm hearing is talk, and talk isn't going to keep Kurt safe," Burt said narrowing his eyes at Figgins. "But the anti-bullying club that David started will. The fact is, since the club began enforcing the no-bullying rule, we haven't had one incident," Figgins said. "Yeah, and if I took all the water out of the ocean, it wouldn't be wet anymore. The bullying stopped because your top offender stopped," Burt said upset. "Mr. Hummel. Can I call you Burt?" Paul asked. "Of course," Burt said. "You remember how understanding I was about this when it all began. I didn't come to David's defense I believed your son. That's because the David I was seeing was not the young man I knew. The boy I raised was a Cub Scout. He was kind, he was a good citizen. I still don't know what was going through his mind when all this bullying started, but I can tell you that the David I'm seeing now is my son, back again. This...this is real," Paul assured Burt. "Do you have any idea how much stress this has caused my family? My son having to leave his friends. My wife and I spending money we don't have on private school 'cause of your son," Burt said annoyed. "Burt, were you always so accepting of homosexuals? We're the same age. I remember what we used to say about the gays when we were younger. Now, it's taken us a long time to figure out what's right. Why can't you just allow David the couple months that it's taken him to figure it out?" Paul asked. "Because he said he's going to kill my son!" Burt exclaimed. "I never actually meant that, though. It's just a figure of speech," Karofsky frowned. "How's he supposed to know what?" Burt asked. "Your words still matter, David," Mr. Schue said. "I know. You have to believe how awful I feel about them. Those ones, especially. That's not me. Not anymore," Karofsky frowned as Mr. Schue turned to Kurt. "What do you think, Kurt?" Mr. Schue asked. "I believe he realizes what he did was wrong," Kurt said. "You're only saying that because you want to be back in this school so bad," Burt said defensively. "Can Dave and I speak for a moment alone?" Kurt asked before adding "You can wait right outside in the hall." "Let's go. Yeah," Mr. Schue said as he, Burt, and Figgins left the room leaving Karofsky and Kurt to talk.
"What's your angle here?" Kurt asked. "I'm just trying to make things right," Karofsky said. "David, I know, remember? And I haven't told anyone," Kurt said honestly. "Why? It would have made your life a lot easier," Karofsky sighed. "I don't believe in denying who you are, but I don't believe in outing, either," Kurt said as Karofsky seemed relieved "But still, you owe me. The truth. What's going on here?" "It was Santana's idea. She wants to be prom queen, so she figures, if we can get you back, we'll get everyone to vote for us," Karofsky said shaking his head. "I'm both repulsed and impressed by her Lady Macbethian ways. Hmm. A Latina Eve Harrington," Kurt said impressed by what Santana had done as Karofsky looked confused "Okay, if you're gonna be gay, you simply must know who that is." "Look, I don't know for sure I am gay, okay? Stop being such a broken record," Karofsky complained. "Okay, I have several options here. I could tell everyone the truth about you..." Kurt began. "Dude, I said I'm sorry. You said you wouldn't do that!" Karofsky exclaimed. "Hold on. Or I can return here and marvel with pride at your new anti-bullying movement, which I fully believe in, and further demand that you and I start a chapter of PFLAG here at William McKinley. Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. You need to be educated, David. You may not have to come out, but you need to be educated," Kurt said honestly. "Oh, man, just kill me now," Karofsky muttered. Cut into the hall where Burt, Finn, Figgins, and Mr. Schue are watching. "Just keep an eye on your brother," Burt said to Finn. "One step ahead of you," Finn agreed as Kurt looked back at them with a triumphant smile.
Cut to the girls bathroom where Rachel is looking at her nose when Puck enters. "You can't be in here, Noah," Rachel complained. "It's cool. I checked through the peep hole I drilled last year to make sure no one was going," Puck shrugged. "What can I help you with today?" Rachel said rolling her eyes. "I just want to talk to you, one hot Jew to another," Puck said. "Oh, God. Look, it's my nose, okay? I am tired of the lectures," Rachel said annoyed. "Hear me out. Why are you getting Quinn's nose? If you want to breathe better, why don't you have him give you Karl Malden's nose?" Puck asked as Rachel sighed. "Because she's prettier than me. You want her, Finn wants her, Sam wants her. Who wants me?" Rachel said as Puck sat with her. "You know I've been in love with Quinn for awhile but it has nothing to do with her nose. Hell, I'm dating Zizes now and she's the complete opposite of Quinn," Puck said as Rachel made a face. "What's your point Noah?" Rachel asked. "My point is your nose has been passed down from generation to generation as a birthright. It's a sign of the survival of our people," Puck said. "This has nothing to do with our religion," Rachel said defensively. "I need one hour of your time tomorrow. Just one hour. Give me that, and I'll never bug you again," Puck said as Rachel nodded agreeing to it as Puck left. She wondered what Puck had planned.
The next afternoon Mercedes had told the Glee Club to meet her in the courtyard. "What the hell's going on?" Puck asked as he walked outside. "Well, my fellow Glee Clubbers, it's noon, which means...it's official," Mercedes grinned. "What's official?" Sam asked confused. "My transfer!" Kurt yelled from the top of the stairs as the New Directions all turned around "Kurt Hummel's back at McKinley!" Everyone cheered as Kurt rushed down to them he hugged Mercedes first, then Tina. "Let me breathe! Let me breathe!" Kurt laughed as he hugged Brittany "Let's get ready for Nationals." "Not yet. See, there's a reason we're meeting here today. There's some people that wanted to say goodbye to you, Kurt," Mercedes smiled as Blaine and the Warblers walked down to meet them.
"Kurt, Dalton's gonna miss you. You were a great addition to the Warblers, and you made us a better team. I'm sad to see you go, but we all know this is something that you really want. And I'll still have you after school and on the weekends, but these guys won't, so they wanted to say goodbye," Blaine smiled. "And thank you, Kurt" Wes said as the warblers performed one last time to say goodbye to Kurt with Blaine on lead on 'Somewhere Only We Know'.
At the end of the song Kurt and Blaine hugged. "I'm never saying goodbye to you," Kurt said emotionally as Blaine smiled at him as he left. The New Directions gathered around Kurt giving him a group hug, happy to finally have Kurt back at McKinley once and for all. Upon his return Kurt performed 'As If We Never Said Goodbye' from Sunset Boulevard, happy to be back home.
The New Directions stood up and applauded for Kurt who was thrilled to once again be back in the choir room with all his friends. Kurt walked with Mercedes and Quinn after rehearsal. "It's good to have you back Kurt," Mercedes grinned. "It's good to be here. You guys don't know how much I've missed you," Kurt said. "We missed you too," Quinn smiled a bit. "So Quinn, I heard your running for Prom Queen with Finn as your King. How's Sam reacting to that?" Kurt asked as Quinn bit her lip as she flashed back to a conversation she had with Sam.
Cut to the hallway where Sam holds up the poster of Finn and Quinn running for Prom King and Queen. "What the hell is this?" Sam asked. "My prom court poster," Quinn said simply. "I can see that but why of all people are you running with him," Sam said annoyed pointing at Finn. "Because we're in the same year and you can't run with me. Besides, your the one who told me to go after what I want weren't you?" Quinn asked narrowing her eyes at Sam. "Not if it means you're going to run with the guy who's constantly tried to break us up. Don't you see it's a trap?" Sam said upset. Quinn sighed taking Sam's hands in hers "Me running with Finn means nothing. I'm just trying to get the votes to be Prom Queen, you're still going to be my date okay?" she assured Sam who still seemed slightly insecure about it. "Fine. But if he tries anything again, I won't hold back from fighting him," Sam said. "Understood," Quinn smiled softly as they shared a kiss.
Cut back to the hallway as Kurt, Mercedes, and Quinn are talking "Yeah Finn's still in love with Rachel and Rachel's in love with Finn," Mercedes said. "Then why aren't they back together?" Kurt asked confused. "Beats me," Mercedes shrugged. "So Kurt, what did you think of this week's assignment?" Mercedes asked him. "I'm all about self acceptance. I think this week's lesson is so important for all of us to accept ourselves. It took me a long time to get to where I'm at but I'm happy to be me," Kurt said as Mercedes and Quinn smiled. "I wish I could be as comfortable as you are Kurt," Quinn sighed. "Quinn, you have nothing to be uncomfortable about," Mercedes said shaking her head. "I'm with Mercedes. Quinn, you literally went from being an outcast to being the Queen Bee once again. How can you top that?" Kurt asked. "I guess I just feel like after what I went through last year people think I'm a fraud," Quinn sighed. "Anyone who thinks that doesn't know you," Mercedes said. "I agree. You worked hard to get back to where you are," Kurt agreed. "Thanks," Quinn sighed as they arrived at Quinn's classroom. "I'll see you guys later," Quinn then walked into class only to be met by Lauren Zizes. "Hey, Lucy," Lauren said as Quinn looked confused. "What did you just call me?" Quinn said confused. "Well, that certainly got your attention. Can we speak privately?" Lauren smirked as she and Quinn headed to another classroom.
"Well, you may want to have a seat," Lauren smirked as Quinn took a seat, not too excited about where this was going to head. "My dad's college roommate was G. Gordon Liddy...and he taught my pop a valuable lesson, He said the key to any campaign is digging up dirt on your opponent, so I did a little digging," Lauren smirked as we cut to Lauren and Puck breaking into Figgins' office looking through the student files. "Dude, my permanent record has three volumes. I don't remember doing half this stuff," Puck said as he was reading through his file but Lauren stops when she finds Quinn's file that says 'Fabray, Quinn'. "Jackpot," Lauren grins as we cut back to the classroom.
"You moved to Lima after eighth grade, right?" Lauren asked. "I transferred from Fairbrook. That's not a secret," Quinn said simply. "Well, you must have had a pretty lousy attendance record because I called Fairbrook Middle School and they didn't have a record of anyone named Quinn Fabray, but I did take a little field trip," Lauren said as we cut to her calling the school on the phone at the Lima Bean as we then cut back to the classroom.
"You didn't," Quinn said nervously. "I did. And you know what? They did, however, have someone named Lucille Fabray–Lucille Q. Fabray, to be exact, and she looked like this," Lauren smirked as she slid a picture of how Quinn used to look like in front of her as Quinn teared up "You can kind of see the resemblance if you subtract, eh, 70 pounds." "Stop, okay? That's me. My middle name is Quinn. I stopped going by Lucy because kids made up a mean nickname. Lucy Caboosey. I hated the way I looked. I had zits. I was chubby. I felt terrible about myself. I didn't have friends. Nobody would talk to me. I was the only kid at school who had to dissect their own frog because nobody would be my lab partner. And then I joined ballet, lost a little bit of weight, found out I was athletic, joined gymnastics, then cheerleading. Went on Proactiv for my acne. And when my dad got transferred I asked them to call me Quinn, and went through a legal name change so it's why I'm Quinn Lucille Fabray," Quinn said emotionally hating that her deep dark secret was out. "So you hate yourself," Lauren said simply. "No, I hated the girl I used to be. I was a miserable little girl and I've reinvented myself multiple times, so yes I'm ashamed of my past but it doesn't define who I am," Quinn said emotionally. "Yeah. See, I wouldn't be so sure about that. You think everyone's going to vote for you because they want to be like you. Well, I don't know if they're going to want to be like you when they find out that you're a complete fraud," Lauren smirked. "What are you going to do?" Quinn asked worriedly. "If I were you, I'd check the bulletin boards," Lauren smirked as Quinn rushed out of the classroom.
Quinn spotted the photo on the bulletin board entitled "Vote for Lucy Caboosey!". The entire school seemed to be looking at Quinn and laughing at her as Quinn ripped down the poster in tears. Sam rushed to her aid comforting his girlfriend. "Hey...it's okay," he whispered as she sobbed into his chest as Lauren walked past with a smirk, feeling as though she had taken down her biggest competition.
That afternoon Puck took Rachel to the mall. hy did you bring me here? Is there a sale at Claire's?" Rachel asked. "I brought you here to knock some sense into you. You won't listen to me, you won't listen to Finn," Puck said as Quinn appeared. "Quinn..what are you doing here?" Rachel asked as she hugged Quinn. "I came to talk to you Rachel. I don't want you to get a nose job," Quinn told her seriously. "Why did you accompany me to the plastic surgeon then?" Rachel frowned a bit as Quinn sighed. "It felt nice that you looked up to me Rachel. I've been kind of down on myself lately. Ever since I quit the cheerios I've been scared that no one would want to follow my lead and there you were. Wanting to look like me, be like me. It felt good to have someone feel that way again," Quinn sighed as Rachel seemed speechless. "Quinn of course I want to be like you. Do you know how much being your friend has meant to me?" Rachel asked as Quinn seemed surprised to hear her say this. "Being accepted by you was something I never thought I'd have and now that I do it's just amazing," Rachel grinned as Quinn smiled a bit.
Kurt then approached them. "I'll take it from here, thanks Quinn and Puck," Kurt smiled as Puck and Quinn walked off. "Kurt what are you doing here?" Rachel asked. "Only I can lead this Barbravention," Kurt said. "Is she here?" Rachel asked all too excitedly. "No. This is a mall in Ohio," Kurt said "Look, Rachel, here's the deal. Do you want to disappoint her?" "Who?" Rachel asked. "Barbra," Kurt said. "Of course not, Kurt. She's my idol," Rachel frowned. "Okay, if you get a nose job, then you will be spitting on her legacy. Barbra refused to believe that beauty could only be defined by the blonde, chiseled faces of Hitchcock's beauties, so she redefined what beauty was and became the biggest female star in the world," Kurt said. "But what if I can't be like her? Isn't she one in a billion?" Rachel asked. "So are you, Rachel," Kurt said as Rachel seemed touched "And if you let one misguided societal pressure make you change the way you look, then you won't just be letting Barbra down, you'll be letting down all the little girls who are going to look at your beautiful face one day and see themselves. You'll be taking away their inspiration, too." Rachel couldn't help but nod knowing Kurt had a point. "I needed this. Thank you," Rachel said as Kurt hugged her tightly, knowing his words had impacted Rachel.
Cut to the therapist office where Emma is scrubbing the chair and finally feels it's clean enough then sits down. "Okay. So...Nice and clean," Emma grinned. "I'm afraid we're out of time," the therapist said. "What do you mean? I just sat down," Emma frowned. "Well, the therapeutic hour is 50 minutes, and you just spent 48 of them disinfecting the chair. It's clear you have a...a fairly severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder," the therapist said carefully. "Really?" Emma said. "OCD's very treatable. A combination of medication and behavioral therapy will give you some relief from those feelings of...of panic that you might feel if, say, you think you forgot to unplug the curling iron or..." the therapist began. "Oh, God, I think I forgot to unplug the curling iron," Emma frowned.
"There's a stigma in this country about mental illness. I mean, depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar, they're hard to diagnose, so...people don't always appreciate that they're serious problems, but they are," the therapist said. "Yeah, um...I don't know. You know, I'm not sure I want to lay on a couch and tell some stranger all of my secrets. And...I don't want to start popping pills just so I can turn into someone that other people want me to be. This is how I am. This is who I'm supposed to be," Emma said confidently. "Your illness is not who you're supposed to be. It's keeping you from who you're supposed to be. Look, you're a guidance counselor, right? So if a student came to you and said they had diabetes, would you give them insulin or would you say, "Hey, that's just who you're supposed to be."," the therapist said as Emma sighed, she had a point. "I...I just feel, um...I feel so ashamed," Emma frowned. "Right. Well, you're not alone. After my daughter was born, I had a severe case of postpartum depression. I would look down at this beautiful baby girl like she wasn't even mine. Like all the color just came out of the world. But you know when the moment was that I started to feel just a little bit better? When I admitted that I needed some help," the therapist explained "Well...that's what I'm here for. Can I tell you something, Emma? You're going to feel better. I promise. I'm going to give you an SSRI. Start with a low dosage, and that'll help you hold on to the serotonin that your brain naturally makes anyway. And I'd like to see you in about a week." Emma nodded feeling like for once in her life she was going to be okay.
Cut to the hallway where Brittany approaches Santana. "Hey. Do you like my shirt for Glee Club?" Brittany grinned as she opened her shirt to reveal it said 'I'M WITH STOOPID' with an arrow pointing up. "That one's perfect. Check out mine," Santana said as she opened her jacket to reveal her shirt which said 'BITCH', Brittany doesn't look impressed. "What? This is perfect. Legend has it that when I came out of my mother, I told the nurse she was fat," Santana said. "Well...I made a different one for you," Brittany grinned as she unfolded a shirt that said 'LEBANESE'. "I'm Hispanic. Wait, was that supposed to be "Lesbian"?" Santana asked. "Yeah, isn't that what it says?" Brittany grinned "When you told me all that stuff the other week, it meant so much to me. To see you be so honest. Especially 'cause I know how bad it hurt. I was so proud of you." "Yeah, well don't get used to it. And certainly don't even think about telling anyone," Santana said annoyed. "Why not? You're like the most awesome-est girl at this school. Why would you try to hide any of that?" Brittany frowned. "I'm dating Karofsky now," Santana said. "It's gross," Brittany said. "You don't get a say in who I date anymore," Santana said folding her arms. "Why not? Because you're Lebanese and I think I'm bi-curious?" Brittany asked. "No. Because I said I love you. You didn't say you loved me back," Santana said. "I do love you," Brittany said as Santana looked up at her. "Clearly you don't love you as much as I do or you'd put the shirt on and you would dance with me." Brittany stormed off upset leaving Santana with the shirt and a huge choice to make.
Cut to Emma's office where Emma is staring at a bottle of pills, unsure if she should take one. As time goes by she picks up the bottle and takes a pill, marking the start of her recovery. Meanwhile in the hallway an emotional Quinn approached Sam. "You're probably happy," Quinn said as Sam looked at her confused. "Why is that?" he asked confused. "My campaign for Prom court with Finn is officially over. I'm a joke. No one could possibly want to vote for me now," Quinn sighed as Sam looked into her eyes. "Can I show you something?" he asked as Quinn nodded as he showed her the old photo of Quinn from middle school "It's my girlfriend. I used to have another photo, but...I like this one better." "Why? She looks terrible," Quinn said emotionally. "You think so? 'Cause I think it's the first one where you can really see her," Sam said as Quinn kissed him softly. "Thank you Sam," she smiled. "Of course. Hey, I accept all of you Quinn. Prom Queen or not, you're my girlfriend and whatever comes our way, I'm here to support you," Sam said as they kissed again passionately, both finally feeling like they had full trust of each other once again.
Cut to the auditorium where the New Directions are all in their printed white shirts. "All right, guys. Listen up. You all did really good this week. It was tough, but I think we came closer as a team and I'm proud of you. And now, I'd like to be the first one to show off my custom T-shirt, revealing something I was self-conscious about in the past, something I was born with, something I've come to accept about myself this past week. So, drumroll, Finn," Mr. Schue said as Finn played a drum roll as his shirt said 'BUTT CHIN' on it. "I like your chin, Mr. Schue," Mercedes grinned. "Yeah, I would've went with "Tears up a lot."," Tina agreed. "Uh, is everyone here?" Mr. Schue asked. "Not everybody," Rachel said as she arrived. "I wanted to thank you guys for my Barbravention. And I have an announcement to make. I went to my doctor and...I canceled my appointment. And then I went home and I made this." Rachel revealed her shirt that said 'NOSE' on it. "Whoa," Mr. Schue said as the New Directions all clapped for her. Where's Santana?" Artie asked. "Probably off somewhere making out with Karofsky," Sam said as Brittany's face fell. "Hit it!" Mr. Schue grinned as the New Directions began to perform 'Born This Way' by Lady Gaga.
As the performance went on the New Directions revealed their shirts. Kurt's said 'Likes Boys', Mercedes' said 'No Weave', Tina's said 'Brown Eyes', Finn's said 'Can't Dance', Mike's said 'Can't Sing', Quinn's said 'Lucy Caboosey', Puck's said 'I'm With Stupid' with an arrow pointing down, Lauren's said 'Bad Attitude', Sam's said 'Trouty Mouth', and Artie's said 'Four Eyes'. As the New Directions ended their song Emma approached Will to show him that her shirt said 'OCD' and Will couldn't help but smile at her. Santana watched the New Directions celebrate as they finished their performance wearing her 'Lebanese' shirt feeling somewhat sad that she didn't join in on the number mostly because she couldn't.