[third person]
-
"i heard that anya was here."
"so did i, i saw that camila's here too."
"do you think they're back together?"
"anya didn't deserve shawn."
"don't you mean shawn didn't deserve anya?"
"it's just all shocking, i didn't think she would be forced to break up with him."
"they were perfect together."
"y'all it's about the music, shut your faces."
shawn couldn't help but to laugh at the last comment, whilst waiting behind the curtain of his q&a. he was shocked at some of the rumours going around, but he knew that for sure, anya would not be here.
after all, she did say she hates him to his face.
why did i screw up so badly? shawn thinks to himself. i only wanted her. he groans softly, running a hand through his hair, and holding onto his bottle of water in his other hand.
"you okay, man?" brian asks shawn, standing next to him.
"y-yeah," shawn mumbles. "i just miss her, you know? she'd always be waiting here, waiting for me to finish the q&a so we could grab some food and just talk, you know? i miss her. even when you and her had that affair, she would still eat dinner with me, i mean, after the whole thing that happened," shawn sighs gently to himself. "how did i screw up so badly, brian?"
"you thought she was with someone else, it's understandable that you were annoyed since she'd already betrayed you once," shawn nods at brian, looking down at the floor. "do you trust her, shawn? would you trust her?"
"i- honestly?" shawn asks, looking to the side of him, whilst brian nods. "probably not. but that's just because of what's happened. i snapped completely, but why couldn't she just tell me the truth?"
"you and i both know why she didn't tell you the truth," brian says to shawn, making him sigh yet again.
shawn knew exactly why. she wanted to protect him, to make sure he didn't over react and make a mistake he would regret for the rest of his career. it was hard to admit, but he would throw everything away if it meant he could be with anya. he was completely in love with her, it was obvious to anyone.
"shawn, you ready?" andrew asks, walking over to shawn.
"more ready than ever," shawn says, pushing out a small smile, looking up. "can i go out?"
"whenever you're ready, bud."
-
"i swear to fucking god-"
"don't you recognise us? that's literally us in that picture!" camila says to the security guard, whilst her and anya try to get into staples centre by saying that they're friends with shawn, and showing the security guard pictures. "i can call shawn right now-"
"camila?" the two girls snap their heads round, seeing the band. "oh my god, anya?"
"hey guys," anya says, pushing out a tight lipped smile. "how have you been?"
"us? how have you been, missy?" mike asks, going in for a bear hug. "we've missed you so much, anya. everyone's a mess without you."
"it's true, zubin filled up his water bottle with vodka instead of water today," dave says, slapping zubins back playfully, making anya softly giggle, as she greets the rest of the band. "how are you, though?"
"i-i'm getting better," anya mumbles, a sad smile toying on her face. "i-i just needed to see him."
"come with us, we'll take you backstage, we were all just about to get some food actually."
then it hits anya. around about this time, every single show, her and shawn would sit down to eat together, rant about everything to each other, and have a laugh. these late lunches-early dinners were the highlights of both anya's and shawns days, and alike shawn, anya missed them dearly.
camila and anya follow the band inside, making sure to send a sarcastic smile to the security guard, who rolls his eyes at the two girls. they both laugh, before linking arms, and walking around backstage, greeting more and more familiar people in every corner they turn.
"gerty!" anya yells, spotting andrew at the end of a corridor. she lets go of camilas arm, and sprints forward, tackling andrew in a tight hug, making him let out a small yell of fear.
"jesus, anya!" he chuckles nervously, hugging the girl back, holding her tightly. "what are you doing here?"
"h-he wrote me a letter," anya says softly, pulling away from the hug, tears pooling in her eyes. "i-i need to see him, gerty. i can't do this anymore."
"he's gone to his dressing room now, i can take you there if you want," andrew suggests, as anya nods her head, tears sliding down her cheeks. "shh, anya, don't cry," andrew says, bringing her into a hug again.
"i-i'm sorry, i-it's just been a crazy week, i-i can't think straight," she sniffles, pulling away again, and wiping her cheeks.
"anya?" she snaps her head around, seeing brian standing there, and immediately goes to hug him. "hey, what's up?"
"is shawn okay?" she asks quickly. "is he okay?"
"h-he's getting there," brian answers nervously, looking at anya. "when did you get here?"
"about an hour ago, camila and i had to argue with security, and then we saw the band," she explains, letting a small chuckle leave her lips. "are you sure he's okay?"
"he really loves you, anya," brian says gently to her. "and i know what he did was the worst thing imaginable, but he's a mess. i lied about him being okay. he's a complete mess," anya's heart swells with pain, and she feels a lump from in her throat. "but, he'll be okay."
"i-is he eating lunch now?" anya asks, folding her arms against her chest. brian nods, a small smile playing on his lips.
"are you gonna do you tradition?" anya feels the heat rise to her cheeks, as she nods, sending brian a soft smile. "good luck."
"thank you," she says, squeezing his arm gently, before walking back to andrew, who guides her to the buffet table so she can get her own food to eat.
her heart began to pump hard in her chest. her pulse was racing, and her hands were going warm and sweaty. she was scared, scared to see him, scared to talk, scared to admit that she loves him, scared to be face to face with him again. she was terrified of it going wrong, and the two of them being in even more problems than they already were in.
anya didn't know what to think at all.
andrew left her alone once they reached the dressing room door, and anya could hear shawns music playing quite high.
it was his sad playlist, she knew it.
she raised her hand, and knocked gently at the wood, waiting patiently for an answer, her lower lip sucked between her teeth, and her other hand clutching a plate of food.
"come in!" shawn yells from the other side, making anya's heart skip three beats. her breath caught up in her throat, and she gently pushed the door open, seeing shawn sitting at the couch, eating his food, alone.
shawn looks up, and the room starts to spin.
"hey," anya says softly, yet with confidence running through her voice. "can i eat with you?"
"a-anya," shawn chokes out, turning his music off, and standing up from the couch, putting his plate down on the coffee table in the dressing room. "oh anya," he mumbles, as she shuffled into the room, shutting the door behind her.
"i know this was out of the blue, and i know i should have at least texted you before coming, but i-i read your letter," she says, her emotions spinning around in her head. "s-shawn, i-i don't even know what to say," she could see the tears build up in his eyes, so she walked over to him, motioning for him to sit down on the couch. he lowers himself down, settling into the comfy seat, anya sitting on the other side, turning her knees in to face him. "i-"
"why can you even sit with me?" shawn mumbles, letting the tears roll down his cheeks. "why are you here?"
"shawn," she whispers, putting her plate down, and reaching for his hands, folding his fingers with hers. "shh," she whispers, making his whole body tingle, and his heart completely burst. "i read your letter."
"a-and?"
"i wrote you one."