[third person]
-
shawn woke up fairly early the next day. his head was in pieces, and he couldn't sleep without thinking about her. his mind was completely torn into millions of parts. one part of him wanted to call her up and apologise immediately, the other part wanted to cause as much pain and trouble as he possibly could.
he was heartbroken.
so, he went to the source of medicine that would relieve him in seconds. alcohol. he drank and drank and drank at the early hours of 6am, sighing in relief that he didn't have a show that day.
he was completely confused.
he thought anya wanted him for him, he thought that she would become his girlfriend, and the two of them would make so many more memories together as a couple. he thought he would be there for her when she needed him the most, and he thought he would support her when she wanted to dwell in her free spirit.
he was on his fifth glass of hennessy when he decided to give up with the glass, and drink straight from the bottle. alcohol was his way of coping with it all, it numbed his heartache, and helped him completely forget about what happened.
he knew he fucked up when releasing the story, but he was angry, and wanted to get his own back. he didn't regret releasing it, but he knew deep down he messed up badly.
-
"camila, no, please don't call him," anya begs, panic settling into her visage. "i know you're pissed at him, but p-please don't call him."
"i need to yell at him, he can't just do that to you and get away with it," camila urges, dialling up shawns number on her phone. "you aren't a doll he can control, anya. he fucked you over. you don't deserve any of this."
"camila i-"
"hello?" she calls into the phone, waiting for shawn to reply. camila quickly puts the phone on speaker, letting anya listen to the conversation.
"c-camila!" shawn hiccups, his drunken state being amusing to himself only. "h-how are you?"
"shawn, are you drunk?"
"yeah!" he giggles, making anya's heart clench. "i found hennessy in the bus, b-but shhh don't tell gerty!"
"shawn, where are you?"
"um, i don't know? i think i'm in la, i got off the bus and now i can't find it," shawn mumbles. "are you with anya?"
anya looks up from the bed sheets, her mouth going slightly agape, and her heart clenching again.
"yeah about that-"
"i don't get it," shawn says, cutting camila off completely. "i love her, mila. i'm so in love with her. and she does that? i'm never enough for her, i don't know why i keep falling for her mind games," anya's eyes fill with tears, and her and camila look at each other in shock. "i love her."
"if you love her, why did you do that to her?" camila pesters, making shawn sigh on the other side of the phone.
"she's with someone else, camila. you don't understand. she's the only person i think about the moment i wake up, and the minute i fall asleep. we made so many memories together, and it's like all those nights of sneaking around with her meant nothing."
nothing. anya thinks quietly to herself, letting a sigh escape her lips, and a tear roll down her cheek.
"is the other guy that noah guy?"
"what?"
"camila i only did it because i'm annoyed. i'm so annoyed. she did that to me," shawn mumbles, ignoring camilas question completely. "i gotta go."
"but you don't even know where-" shawn hangs up, cutting camila's voice off completely.
"i wish i told him the truth," anya mumbles, a tear running down her cheek quickly. "god, i'm such an idiot."
"no, you're not," camila reminds her, bringing her into a hug. "you didn't know what to say, you panicked, it's inevitable."
"i-i love him," she chokes out, sobbing into camilas shoulder. "h-he probably hates me more than i can imagine."
"you love him?" camila asks, as anya pulls her head away from her shoulder, nodding her head, tears pooling in her eyes yet again. "oh hunny," camila whispers, squeezing her arms gently. "okay listen to me, you have to tell him the truth."
"i-i can't, i can't even tell him because i'm angry at him for what he did, i'm pissed at him, i never thought he would do that," anya sniffles. "he's such a fucking dick."
"listen to me, anya," camila says gently. "just stay calm, okay? you don't have to tell him if you really don't want to, but he deserves to know. i'm gonna order some pizza, and we can binge some netflix together to cheer you up, okay?"
"i-i'm gonna go on a walk, i-is that okay?"
"do whatever you need to do," camila tells her gently. "but when you come back, there will be pizza, okay?"
"yeah," anya says, pushing out a sad grin. "thank you so much, mila. i owe you."
"you don't owe me, you're one of my closest friends, anya, of course i'm gonna be there for you," camila says gently, reassuring her completely. "go clear your mind for a bit, i'll see you soon."
-
anya walks for what seems like hours, but in reality is only a brief twenty minutes. she decided to stop in a small cafe, and take a seat, getting a mug of warm tea.
she was home, but she never felt so far away from home before.
it was only when she was alone, and without camila to talk to, she really felt everything hit her at once.
she didn't have her mums shoulder to cry on, and she wasn't welcomed back home with a steaming mug of chai, and freshly cooked home comfort food. she couldn't watch an action film with her dad to get her mind off things, she couldn't curl up in her own bed, and let the world simply melt away.
she was left captured in a bubble of loneliness, never being allowed to escape.
anya sighed again, tucking her hands around the cup of tea, and raising it up to take a long sip, the warmth ridding herself from physically feeling cold, but not emotionally.
"sorry, are you anya steinburg?" a brunette, pretty tall, slightly tanned man asks her, clutching a takeout coffee cup in his hands. anya looks up, connecting her sad eyes with a very familiar pair of brown eyes.
"oh my god, noah centineo, right?" anya asks quickly, snapping out of her mood completely. the boy nods, pushing out a grin.
"hey, how are you? sorry, i saw you and i didn't think you looked okay, so i came over just to check up on you really, but how are you?" anya feels herself chuckle gently at the boys rambling, and nod slightly.
"you know, just trying to clear my mind a little," she mumbles, letting go of her mug. "how about you?"
"i'm good, thank you," he starts, smiling at her, before putting on a serious face. "yeah, i saw what happened, are you okay? i know that's a dumb question to ask, but it really wasn't fair of him to do that."
"i-i'll be okay," she nods, smiling sadly. "hey, do you wanna sit? i could use some company."
"sure," noah grins, taking the seat opposite her, and sending her a grin.
anya and noah chatted for around about an hour, noah helping anya to completely forget about what's going on in her life, and actually making her laugh, and smile, numbing the pain she felt from what shawn caused.
they really did bond with each other, and got to know each other outside of their social media's, which made anya glad, because she had someone she could talk to in la.
"man, no, what shawn did was heartless, he's not worth you being sad over," noah says to anya. "and he gave you an eating disorder? that's not cool. why even waste your time over him?"
"because i thought he had changed," she admits, after revealing the true story to noah. "i thought i had changed. obviously i made a mistake leading him on with his best friend, but i didn't want to end things this time round. i didn't want to tell him there was a second guy, because there was no second guy in the first place. i'm loyal to him."
"honestly, if you ask me, no matter how much a girl breaks my heart, i would never disrespect her like he disrespected you. no one deserves that," noah reminds her. "you could be a cold hearted bitch, but you still don't deserve what he did to you. he's a dick, seriously don't dwell over him."
"you're so sweet," she smiles gently at him, finishing her second cup of tea. "i just can't believe he would do that, it really doesn't seem like him. i've only known him for what? five months? but i never thought he would be that sort of a person."
"you really don't deserve him, you deserve so much more," he tells her. "alright, it's getting late, and knowing camila, she's probably going crazy that you haven't got back yet."
"yeah," she nods, pushing out a small smile. "thanks, noah. i really needed someone to just rant to without crying," she says gently to him. "and i'm glad we bumped into each other."
"me too, how are you gonna get back?" he asks her, standing up after anya, walking to the door of the coffee shop with her, opening it up before she can even touch the door, and holding it open. "i can give you a lift, if you want?"
"you've done so much for me just in one night, i can't bother you for a-"
"come on, steinburg," he grins at her, making anya chuckle, and look up at him.
he was hot.
no anya, stop. men are trash.
"you're actually lowkey annoying," she chuckles, following him to his car, which was parked maybe a five minute walk away from the cafe.
"i know but- oh shit," he says, noticing anya stop in her tracks, and look straight forward. he turns his gaze to where she's looking, and his eyes go wide, seeing shawn stumbling around, still probably drunk.
"unbelievable, the minute she comes back, she's already walking around with the other guy, in the open," shawn slurs, walking over to anya, looking down at her. "you're such a horrible person."
"dude, leave her alone," noah says protectively, whilst anya completely freezes with nothing but pure anger.
"already jumping into some other guys pants, are you?" shawn asks anya cockily, making anya flare her nostrils at him, almost immediately raising her hand to slap his cheek.
"shut the fuck up," she mutters, slapping him firmly. "you have no right to even talk to me anymore. there was no other guy in the first place, island made me end things with you, so thanks for completely ruining my life because i was protecting you," she spits at him, the anger making her vividly shake.
suddenly, after the slap and venom ridden mutters of anya, shawn sobers up, well, slightly sobers up. he looks at anya in shock, dropping his sarcastic face, and staring at her with an unreadable expression.
"w-what?"
"you heard me loud and clear," she says, tears burning in her eyes, ready to fall. "i hate you, shawn mendes. don't ever talk to me again."
"c'mon, anya, my cars over here," noah says to her, holding his arm out. she nods, looking back at shawn, who's staring at the ground, his composure looking like he's seen a ghost. anya shakes her head at shawn, following noah into his car.
"you okay?" noah asks her softly, the two of them seated comfortably in his car. anya shakes her head, letting a tear roll down her cheek.
"please, just drive."