This is my 30th one shot! So I decided to do something fun and put a Zoevan twist on one of my favourite musicals! I've been working on this one shot for almost a month and I'm quite proud of it, so I hope you guys love it!
A/N: in this oneshot, Evan doesn't have anxiety and is an asshole at the beginning.
"So let me get this straight; the guy with the ugliest girl wins all the money?" Jared asked. Evan nodded.
"Yeah. The guy with the ugliest dog wins all the money. But you have to pay fifty bucks to enter." Evan said.
"Damn Hansen, you run a tight ship. I respect that." Jared said, pulling a fifty out of his wallet.
"Perfect. You have until tonight at 6:30 to find a date. Party starts at 7. Don't be late. Understood?" Evan said, pocketing the fifty.
"Yeah. I got it. Where's the party?" Jared asked.
"Barking Frog tonight at 7. Don't be late." Evan said.
"Okay Hansen. I'll see you then." Evan watched as Jared turned and left before going to opposite direction.
The party was in 2 hours and he still hadn't found the perfect girl to bring. Sure, he had met several unattractive women but none of them were perfect.
He looked around and saw a little diner on the corner of the street. He shrugged and then crossed the road. Maybe the perfect girl would be in there.
+++
The door opened with the sound of a bell. Evan looked around and sighed.
The diner was almost empty except for an old woman in the back corner and a girl hunched over something in a booth.
"Can I getcha anything honey?"
Evan spun around and saw a woman standing behind the counter.
"Um, I'll just have a coffee." Evan said. The woman nodded and poured him a cup of coffee. She handed it to him and Evan smiled. As Evan turned to sit, he heard someone singing.
"But I'm only human.
And I bleed when I fall down.
I'm only human.
And I crash and I break down.
Your words in my head, knives in my heart.
You build me up and then I fall apart.
'Cause I'm only human." She sang.
Evan looked at the girl and walked towards her.
She had a guitar in her lap and she was currently bent over a piece of paper.
"You're very good." Evan said. The girl looked up and Evan smiled. This girl might be perfect for the dogfight. She was too plain to be pretty but not exactly ugly.
"Thanks. I don't really like to play in public." The girl said.
"You should. Your playing is good." Evan said. "I'm Evan by the way."
"Zoe. It's nice to meet you." Zoe said. Evan smiled.
"Your playing is really good. I'm just trying to put my finger on the artist." Evan said.
"Christina Perri. Her voice is amazing." Zoe said.
"She is good. Almost as good as Emily Anderson." Evan said.
"Who?" Zoe asked.
"Emily Anderson. She helped Christina Perri become famous. She helps Christina Perri write her songs." Evan said, lying through his teeth.
"Are you sure that's right?" Zoe asked.
"100% positive. Why would I lie?" Evan asked. Zoe shrugged.
"I've never heard of Emily Anderson."
"Well you know, she wrote the words." Evan said.
"But Christina Perri and Martin Bennett Johnson wrote the words for this one." Zoe said.
"Well," this was proving to be harder than Evan had expected. "Sometimes Anderson wrote the words and Perri wrote the music and sometimes Perri wrote the words and Anderson wrote the music. And then sometimes Perri or Anderson wrote the whole thing." Evan said. Zoe was silent before nodding.
"That makes sense."
Evan quietly exhaled a sigh of relief that she'd bought his lie.
"So what brings you to San Francisco?" Zoe asked.
"I'm getting shipped off tomorrow. I'm in the Marines." Evan said. He slid her a his marine ID card and she picked it up.
"Mark Evan Hansen. Date of birth, September 24th, 1993. You just turned 25?" Zoe asked.
"Yeah. And now I'm getting shipped off to Afghanistan." Evan said.
"Aren't you scared?" Zoe asked.
"There's nothing to be scared of. We're just going over for support. We won't be close to the action." Evan said. Zoe nodded. Evan looked at his watch.
"Well I better head out. I gotta get to a party." Evan stood and went to walk away before turning to Zoe.
"How would you like to come with me?"
Zoe's jaw dropped.
"A-A party? I don't know..."
"Look if you don't want to go, just say so." Evan said.
"Well it's just... I just met you." Zoe said.
"You know my birthday, and my middle name now. We agreed on all that music crap earlier too. C'mon how rare is that?" Evan said.
"Well the diner is closing soon and I have to help my mom close up." Zoe said. She stood up and walked towards the counter. Evan sighed.
"I'll bring you right home afterwards. I promise. Or we can get dinner. With candles and wine and hold hands all the way back here." Evan said, following her. Zoe sighed and her mother came out.
"It's closing time hon, you better head out." She said to Evan. Evan looked at Zoe.
"You'll miss out on one hell of a time." She shook her head.
"I'm glad we met. Still it's too bad, I thought if you came... who knows. Maybe we could've..." he looked at Zoe and turned around.
"Have a good night Zoe."
He started to walk away when Zoe called after him.
"Evan, wait. I'm gonna come with you. Just let me change." Zoe said. Evan smiled
"Okay!" He said happily.
"What kind of party is it?" Zoe asked.
"Huh?"
"Is it a dress up party?" She asked.
"Yeah sure. A dress up party." Evan said. He watched as Zoe ran out of the diner.
+++
"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!" Zoe said happily, digging through her closet.
"Zoe I- now what's this mess?" Her mother asked.
"Mom! The boy from the diner wants to take me to a party! Which dress, purple or burgundy?" Zoe asked.
"Zoe, slow down. You just met this boy." Cynthia said.
"Mom, a boy wants to take me to a party. I'm not going to say no!" Zoe said. Cynthia sighed, knowing there was no way to talk Zoe out of it.
"Burgundy."
Zoe smiled and ducked into her bathroom to change. When she came out her mother smiled, straightening the occasional wrinkle in the skirt. Zoe looked at her mother.
"Well?" She asked.
"You look beautiful Zoe. Now go, don't keep him waiting." Cynthia said. Zoe hugged her mother and pulled a pair of black heels on before running out the door.
+++
"You look great. Let's go." Evan said. Zoe smiled and he took off. Zoe frowned and start walking behind him.
"So, why did you decide to join the military?" Zoe asked.
"I don't know."
Zoe frowned again.
"How long have you been in San Francisco?" Zoe asked.
"I just got here this morning."
Zoe sighed softly.
"So where is this party?" Zoe asked. Evan stopped abruptly in front of a building with a frog on the door.
"Here." Evan said. Zoe smiled and grabbed her compact and her lipstick. She took the lid off and started to put it on when Evan stopped her.
"Let me." He said. Zoe smiled and handed him the small tube.
He took it and spread it all over her upper lip, the sides of her mouth, and her chin.
"Evan! You're supposed to put it on my lips! You've put it everywhere else." Zoe said. She grabbed a tissue and her compact and started wiping the lipstick off.
"Hansen!"
Zoe looked up and saw a boy about Evan's age, walking hand in hand with a tall, skinny girl with brown hair. She smiled at Zoe and Zoe gasped.
The girl was missing most of her teeth.
"Hansen, you gonna introduce me to your girl or what?" The boy asked.
Evan glared at him and grabbed Zoe's arm.
"Zoe, this is my friend Dylan. Dylan, this is Zoe." Evan said.
"This is Kathy. She's real pretty, isn't she?" Dylan said. Zoe smiled at Kathy.
"Come on, we better get inside, huh Hansen?" Dylan said. He dragged Kathy inside and Evan turned to Zoe.
"Look, I don't really want to go to this party, let's go grab a bite instead." Evan said.
"What? I want to go meet your friends! You said you were bringing me to a party!" Zoe said.
"Zoe, please." Evan begged.
"You said you were bringing me to a party." Zoe said, crossing her arms.
"Okay, Semper Fi, do or die!" And he grabbed Zoe's hand and dragged her inside.
+++
"We're the only ones not dancing." Zoe said, watching Evan's friends twirl their dates around.
"Look Zoe, you're a nice girl, this place is fucked up." Evan said.
"Please?" Zoe begged.
"You asked for it. Semper Fi, do or die!" Evan said. He grabbed her arm and dragged her into the dance floor.
He was slowly spinning Zoe around when she stopped.
"How come you always say the 'do or die, Semper Fi'. That thing?" She asked.
"It's a motto. We say it when we've got something hard to do." Evan explained. Zoe was silent.
"I'm hard to dance with?" She asked. Evan looked at her.
"No. You're great."
The song ended and Zoe smiled. Evan walked over to the bar and she followed eagerly. He picked up a beer and she stood awkwardly beside him.
"Hansen!"
Zoe looked in the direction of the voice and saw a man with glasses walking towards Evan.
"Kleinman. You made it!" Evan said, putting his beer down. Zoe tapped Evan's shoulder.
"I'm going to get some air." She said. Evan nodded and continued to talk to his friend.
+++
Zoe leaned against the wall of the bar and sighed. She heard voices coming towards her.
"You promised me half."
"Well I'm giving you 75. That's your cut."
"You said half!"
"You're getting 75."
"If you don't give me half, I'm going to tell all your dumbass friends that you're paying me to be here!"
It was Kathy and Dylan. Zoe didn't move and continued to listen.
"Fine. You get 100! But don't think I'm giving you anymore, you ugly bitch!" Dylan shouted.
Zoe heard the door slam and poked her head around the corner. She saw Kathy bent over, picking bills up off the ground.
"Are you okay?" Zoe asked. Kathy looked at her.
"Yeah. I mean, I'm getting paid to be here. I don't think you are." She said.
"What exactly is he paying you for?" Zoe asked.
"The dogfight." Kathy said.
"The what?" Zoe asked.
"Dogfight. Each guy pays 50 bucks and brings the ugliest girl he can find. And I'm guessing since you didn't know that, Hansen fed you lies." Kathy said.
"Evan wouldn't do that." Zoe said. Kathy laughed.
"Okay honey, whatever you say. But Hansen's the one who organizes these things." Kathy said. Kathy looked at Zoe, who was fuming.
"You have every right to be mad. He used you and humiliated you. Get mad." Kathy said. Zoe looked at her.
"You know, you're not ugly at all." Zoe said.
"You should see me with my teeth in!" Kathy said. Zoe smiled before walking into the bar.
She found Evan fairly easily and when she was close enough, she felt her fist collide with his face.
"You. You absolute dirtbag." She said. His friends jaws dropped and she put her hands on her hips.
"Hey!" Evan yelled.
"Don't 'hey' me, don't you dare 'hey' me. You are a cruel, heartless, ignorant jerk. Who gave you the right to treat people like this? You have no feelings! You're just a worthless excuse for a human being!" Zoe yelled.
"That's my buddy you're talking to." Jared said.
"Shut up, you creep." Zoe looked at Evan. "Everything out of your mouth tonight has been rotten, dirty lies. I hope you die Evan Hansen. I hope there's a war and I hope you all get killed. That's what I hope!" Zoe said. Tears were rolling down her face but she didn't care.
"Zoe-" Evan grabbed her wrist.
"Let go of me!" Zoe yelled. Evan dropped her wrist and watched as she stormed out of the bar.
+++
Zoe walked up to her room and threw her heels into her closet. Her mother walked into the room.
"Back so soon? Must've been a short party." Cynthia said.
"Uh, yeah. It wasn't too exciting so we left early." Zoe said.
"Oh. Well did you have a nice time?" Cynthia asked. Zoe nodded.
"Yeah. It was a great party." Zoe said, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She turned away from her mom and started taking her jewelry off.
"Well, I'm off to bed. Goodnight baby." Cynthia said.
"Night." Zoe said softly.
She heard her mom close the bedroom door and she looked in the mirror on the back of it.
Was she ugly? She never thought so. Sure, she wasn't as pretty as some girls, but she didn't think she was ugly. She tore her gaze away from the mirror and looked around. The floor was covered in dresses. She sighed and started picking them up, hanging them up again.
She pulled the burgundy dress off, hanging it up and pulling on a pair of shorts and a sweater. After turning off the overhead light and turning on her lamp, she laid on her bed and sighed.
What did she think was going to happen? Did she think Evan was going to sweep her off her feet and they would live happily ever after? Obviously she wasn't as smart as she thought because she trusted a boy she'd just met.
+++
Evan had an ice pack pressed to his right cheek bone.
"I can't believe that bitch hit you." Dylan muttered. Evan sighed and Jared looked at him.
"She gotcha good Hansen. Your cheekbone is purple." Jared said. Evan stood up and sighed.
"What's the matter Evan. You don't feel bad for her do you?" Dylan asked. Evan shrugged.
"No. Of course not." Evan lied. He took a drink from his beer and looked around.
Almost. He'd almost won. He'd won some money because of Zoe's fit, but he had almost won the whole thing.
Zoe. What was she doing right now? It was almost 1 am, she was probably asleep.
Evan set his beer down, deciding that the last thing he needed to do before getting deployed was apologize to Zoe and take her on a real date. She deserved that much.
Evan stood up and Jared and Dylan looked at him.
"Where the hell are you going?" Dylan asked. Evan looked back and tossed him the ice pack.
"I gotta clear my head. I'm going for a walk." Evan said, and he walked out of the bar.
He broke into a sprint and ran all the way back to the diner. He saw a window with a light on and tossed a pebble up. It bounced off the glass and Zoe appeared, opening the window.
"What the hell do you want Evan?" Zoe hissed.
"Can you come down? I want to talk." Evan said.
"Why? So you can make fun of me more? No thanks. I'll pass." Zoe said.
"No, Zoe wait! Please." Evan said. Zoe sighed.
"Fine. Give me a minute." Zoe snapped. A few minutes she was silently walking out of the diner. She walked over to Evan with her arms crossed and he smiled sheepishly.
"What do you want?" Zoe asked. She was seething with anger.
"I wanted to apologize. And I wanted to make it up to you." Evan said. Zoe looked at him.
"I want to take you to dinner. On a real date. If you want." Evan said. Zoe looked at him.
"Dinner. Then you bring me back." Zoe said. Evan nodded.
"Done."
The pair left, walking down the sidewalk.
"I looked up Emily Anderson."
Evan looked at her.
"You did?" He asked.
"Obviously. And it turns out that she's not real either! God has every interaction we've had been a lie?" Zoe asked.
"No. My marine ID card was real." Evan said. Zoe sighed and they walked in silence for a few minutes.
"Where are we going?" Zoe asked.
"I saw a little restaurant on the way here. I was thinking maybe there." Evan said. Zoe nodded.
After a few minutes they arrived at the restaurant and Evan opened the door for her.
"Excuse me, we'd like a table for two please." Evan said.
"Absolutely, what's your reservation under?" The hostess said.
"Pardon?" Evan asked.
"You need a reservation to be seated sir." The hostess said.
"It looks like there's plenty of room." Evan said.
"You need a reservation." The hostess said.
"I'm a US Marine. I'm good enough to protect you but not good enough to eat here?" Evan asked, getting angry. Zoe stepped in front of him.
"I'm so sorry, is there any way there's an open table? It's just that it's our wedding night," The hostess looked at her. "And we don't have money to spend on a dress to only be worn once. It would mean so much to the two of us." Zoe said. She put her hand on her stomach.
"The three of us!" She pretended to cry and buried her face in Evan's shoulder. The hostess looked at them.
"I'll see if there's a table available." She said. Zoe looked up and wiped a single tear off her cheek.
"Boom. And no one got physical." Zoe said smiling. Evan smiled at her.
"Look at you fucking go." Evan said. Zoe frowned.
"What? Oh come on. Swearing isn't that bad. It's a few little words." Evan said. Zoe gave him a look and the hostess came back.
"Your table is ready, if you'll just follow me." The hostess said. She led Zoe and Evan to a table and Zoe smiled.
"It's perfect, thank you." Zoe said. The hostess nodded.
"I'll be back in a few moments with your menus." She said before turning and leaving. Zoe smiled softly and looked at Evan.
"You remember that girl, Kathy?" She asked.
"Yeah. The winner. She was... fuck, She was something." Evan said. Zoe frowned but nodded.
"She was being payed. I saw it. She was in on it." Zoe said. Evan looked at her.
"What?" Evan asked.
"Your friend Dylan. He's not as honest as he acts. He paid Kathy to be there." Zoe said. Evan didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry if I ruined everything." Zoe said. Evan's expression softened and he looked at her.
"You didn't ruin anything. You just gave me a really nice fucking bruise." Evan said.
"Okay, I'm making a rule. No more swearing out of you for the rest of the night." Zoe said. A waitress stopped at their table and handed both Evan and Zoe a menu.
"I'll be back in a few moments to take your orders." She said. Zoe smiled and nodded before the waitress left. She opened her menu and started flipping through.
"Zoe, it's a few little words. They don't mean anything." Evan said.
"I mean it. I'll leave." Zoe said. Evan put up surrender arms.
A few minutes later, the waitress returned.
"Have you decided?" She asked.
"A few little words, we'll see about that." Zoe muttered.
"Are you ready Miss?" The waitress asked.
"Yes, goddammit. I'm going to have the fucking chicken, with the son-of-a-bitching rice, and a dirty bastard salad with a shitload of vinaigrette dressing. And who knows what this asshole wants." Zoe said. Evan looked at her, absolutely stunned.
"I'll just have a fucking beer." He said. The shocked waitress nodded and quickly left. Evan leaned closer.
"That was badass." He said.
"Just a beer? Aren't you hungry?" Zoe asked.
"Nah, I had a sandwich two weeks ago." Evan said.
"Why didn't you order food?" Zoe asked.
"Can't afford it."
"Oh Evan. We're not-"
"No of course not. I've got enough to pay for yours and my beer. Then that's it until payday." Evan said.
They sat in silence until the waitress came back.
"Your meal Miss, and one fucking beer." She said, placing the plate and the beer down. Zoe smiled and took a bite.
"That looks good." Evan said, taking a drink of his beer. Zoe smiled gently and put half of her meal on the empty plate in front of Evan.
"Zoe I-"
"Just shut up and eat it." She said smiling. Evan smiled and the pair ate in silence.
+++
"Wow. I've never been up here." Zoe said. She and Evan had climbed a scaffolding and could see out over the Pacific and the bay and the city.
Evan smiled and looked at the whole city.
"Good morning San Francisco!" He shouted. Zoe laughed and Evan looked out at the water.
"Any one of those ships could be mine tomorrow." Evan said.
"So, tomorrow you're actually getting shipped off?" Zoe asked. Evan nodded.
"Bright and early tomorrow morning." He said. Zoe started to walk away.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Evan asked, grabbing her wrist.
"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving so soon?" She asked.
"I don't know. I didn't think it would matter." Evan said.
"Of course it matters! You knew you were leaving. Why did you invite me to dinner?" Zoe asked.
"I don't know, I wanted to see you. I felt bad okay! I don't know what you want me to say!" Evan said.
"I don't understand you." Zoe said softly.
"I guess I screwed this up too." Evan said. He looked at her. "Why'd you come with me?"
"Why?"
"Yeah. Dinner, why'd you say yes?" Evan asked.
"Because if I didn't, I'd be just what you thought I was. A lonely, pathetic, ugly, fat girl. That's all I'd be. And maybe this sounds crazy but I'm happy that it happened. I'm happy that I'm here. I'm happy that I came. It's like, I can see this world and it's strange and it's beautiful and it's spinning away so fast. I just want to catch up. Before it's over." Zoe said. Evan nodded.
"I'm sorry. About the dogfight. I'm so sorry." Evan said. Zoe smiled.
"It's okay. You're forgiven. I'm sorry too." Zoe said.
"About what?" Evan asked.
"I don't want you to die. I was really mad. I want you to come home." Zoe said. Evan leaned in and kissed her gently. Zoe smiled and leaned into the kiss.
After a few moments they pulled away and Zoe looked at him.
"Want to come back to my place? Get some sleep?" Zoe asked softly. Evan nodded and they climbed back down the scaffolding, walking back to Zoe's house.
+++
"We have to be quiet or my parents will hear." Zoe said. Evan nodded and the pair walked into Zoe's room.
"Zoe, can you play something for me? The song you were playing in the diner?" Evan asked. Zoe looked at her hands.
"I don't really play for other people." She said.
"Please? It's my last night Zo." Evan said. Zoe nodded and grabbed her guitar.
"The song from the diner?" She asked.
"The song from the diner." Evan said. She played the first note and started singing.
"I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am.
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything
I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human
I can take so much
Until I've had enough
'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah."
She put the guitar down after playing the last note and Evan smiled.
"You really are the best guitar player and singer I've ever heard." Evan said. Zoe smiled and Evan kissed her again.
"It's getting late." Zoe whispered. "We should get some sleep. Evan nodded and laid down next to Zoe. She rolled over and kissed him again before the pair fell asleep.
+++
When Zoe woke up the next morning, Evan was pulling his army boots on.
"It's time?" Zoe asked. Evan nodded and Zoe frantically wrote something down.
"It's my address. I want to write. I need to know you're okay." Zoe said. Evan smiled and kissed her.
"I'm going to miss you." Zoe said, tears in her eyes. Evan smiled and kissed her again.
"I'll be back before you have time to miss me. Everything will be fine Zoe." Evan said. Zoe smiled and handed Evan his dog tags.
"Please. Please stay safe. Don't die over there. I need you to come back." Zoe said. Evan kissed her a third time.
"I'll be back soon Zoe. Don't worry." Evan said. Zoe watched as he started to leave and felt tears streaming down her face.
"Evan!" She called. Evan stopped and turned around.
"Evan, I love you." Zoe said. Evan smiled sadly and walked over to her. He kissed her passionately and she grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer. He pulled away and Zoe tried to pull him close.
"I've got to go. I love you too Zoe. I'll see you soon."
And he was gone.
+++
Evan saluted his captain and walked to line up beside Dylan.
"Where the hell did you go last night? Jared and I got tattoos without you." Dylan said.
"I had something to do. What did you get?" Evan asked.
"Jared got one bird, I got two. You're gonna get three." Dylan said. Evan nodded.
All the marines grabbed their packs and left when Evan stopped Dylan.
"I know about Kathy." He said.
"What about her?" Dylan asked.
"I know you paid her to be there." Evan said.
"How'd you know?" Dylan asked.
"I just know. Now cut the bullshit." Evan said.
"Let me tell you something about bullshit. It's everywhere. You hit me with a little, I buy it. I hit you with a little, you buy it. It doesn't make us idiots. That's what makes us buddies. We buy what the corps hand out, and that's what makes us marines. And the corps buy all the bullshit from President Kennedy, and President Kennedy is buying all the bullshit from everybody in the US of the fucking A, and that's what makes us Americans." Dylan said. Evan nodded.
"Now come on. We've got a war to fight."
Three Years Later
There was a knock on Zoe's door. She opened it and a woman stood on the other side.
"You're Zoe Murphy right?" She asked. Zoe nodded.
"Gotta guy up the road. He's lookin for you." The woman said. Zoe followed the woman and saw Evan, standing on the sidewalk.
"Evan!" She breathed. She walked towards him.
"I... didn't know if you had died. Or if you were alive. Or what was happening. I only knew what was going on over there from the news." Zoe said.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't write." He stammered.
"No it's okay. You shouldn't apologize. I waited. I'm here now." Zoe said. Evan looked at his forearm and Zoe saw a tattoo of three birds.
"Oh Evan. I'm so sorry." Zoe said, connecting the dots. She went to hug and Evan flinched away. She felt tears streaming down her cheeks and she hugged Evan, kissing him on the cheek.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered. Evan squeezed her tightly, finally breaking down and sobbing.
"Th-They're gone. A-All of them. Th-That's why they sent me home." Evan sobbed.
"Oh honey, I know. I'm so sorry." Zoe soothed.
"What now?" Evan said softly.
"I don't know. But you're home now. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Now let's get you something to drink." Zoe said. She kissed him on the cheek and led the broken Marine into her diner.