"So here's what you missed on Glee. Will's wife put the 'Terri' in terrible relationships and now she's his ex-wife," the narrator voice said as video of Mr. Schue and Terri played. "What is wrong with you?" Terri asked Mr. Schue. "Kurt met this kid Blaine who he really likes and seems really nice but he sings at the Glee Club at another school with the Warblers," the narrator said as video of Kurt and Blaine began to play. "The Warblers are like rockstars." Blaine said. "Kurt doesn't like it at his own school at all because Karofsky's been coming after him and nobody knows why," the narrator voice said as Karofsky shoving Kurt into his locker played. "You can't punch the gay out of me more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you," Kurt shouted. "Well Kurt knows why but he hasn't told anyone other than Blaine," the narrator voice said as Karofsky kissing Kurt played. "And that's what you missed on," the narrator voice said. "GLEE!" The other voices sang.
School was back in session the next week. Mr. Schue was walking down the hall when he saw Sue. "Morning, Sue," Mr. Schue said politely. "Oh, I'm gonna stop you right there. It's principal Sue," Sue smirked. "What?" Mr. Schue said confused. "Oh, you heard me right. My years-long quest for power has finally bore fruit," Sue smirked. "Wait, what happened to Figgins?" Mr. Schue asked. "Well, you need to start listening to the news, William. A particularly virulent strain of monkey flu has arrived in Ohio from Borneo, where it had been festering in a small clutch of loud, bisexual primates, not unlike your very Glee Club," Sue smirked. "How... how did Figgins get it?" Mr. Schue asked as Sue flashed back to a few days ago in the hallway where Figgins is talking to 3 students.
"And that's what it means to be an American," Figgins grinned as Sue then noticed Lauren Zizes who looked incredibly sick she knew now was her only chance to get principal and she couldn't let Figgins stay in power a moment longer. "I think I have a fever," Lauren whined. "Can it..." Sue muttered as Figgins grew closer to them. "Now," Sue said as Lauren then sneezed into Figgins face. "'Sup?" Lauren smirked. "Ahhh" Figgins screamed.
Back to the present. "So Figgins is sick. How does that make you principal?" Mr. Schue asked confused. "Well, through the blackmail of prominent local politicians, I strong-armed some extraordinarily broad clauses into my contract," Sue smirked as she then added with disgust "My first order of business? Destroy the Glee Club." "I... I thought we were friends," Mr. Schue said confused. "That got boring," Sue shrugged as she walked off. Will began to leave to go to Glee rehearsals when Lauren Zizes sneezed in his face.
Mr. Schue entered the choir room feeling quite ill as he began to write on the board. "Just one of the perks of being a high school teacher: Constant exposure to illness," Mr. Schue said in a voice over. "All right, guys, um...Time to start thinking about song selections," Mr. Schue said faintly. "I mean, I feel like I might have a fever, but it's important that I power through it," Mr. Schue said in a voice over as he then turned around as the New Directions all looked like children "Okay. I definitely have a fever," Mr. Schue said in a voice over. "Lookin' good, Puckerman. Someone's been eating their wheaties." Little Santana said as Little Puck kissed his biceps. "These guns are fully loaded," Little Puck said. "Mr. Schue? I, for one think we should use our set list for sectionals to start exploring the oeuvre of one Bernadette Peters," Little Rachel said. "Someday, I'm gonna go to Paris and visit the oeuvre," Little Brittany said. "I just want to dance," Little Mike frowned. "Mr. Schuester, you look a little green," Little Mercedes said. "Um... I think I'm gonna go see the nurse. But first I feel like I should get you guys a sitter," Mr. Schue said as he then left the choir room.
Cut to Mr. Schue in his home watching TV surrounded by tissues when his ex-wife Terri enters the room picking up the tissues and placing them in the garbage can. "I can take care of myself," Mr. Schue said groggily. "Is that why Mrs. Weiss called me from next door? Because, according to her, she's here morning and night. Lift your head up," Terri said as she tried to get Mr. Schue settled in bed. "You're making me feel worse," Mr. Schue whined. "Oh, honey," Terri said as she placed a cool compress on Mr. Schue's head "I'm probably revealing too much, but I do still love you. And you have to admit, no matter how toxic our marriage was, I was really good at taking care of you when you were sick." "That's because you like me best when I'm weak," Mr. Schue said groggily. "Maybe," Terri said thinking about it "I mean, that's what my therapist says." "You're seeing a therapist?" Mr. Schue asked surprised. "And I'm medicating, too," Terri smiled a bit.
"Now roll over, and pull your pants down, because we're gonna take baby's temperature," Terri said in a baby voice. "No," Mr. Schue groaned. "But baby knows it's the only way that we can get an accurate reading..." Terri continued in the baby voice as Mr. Schue interrupted her. "Stop, Terri. I don't want to play sick baby with you," Mr. Schue sighed "Now, get out of here." Terri then went over to get a movie. "What are you doing?" Mr. Schue asked as Terri threw the movie which is revealed to be 'Singin' in the Rain'. "Singin' in the rain. We were together 16 years. You think I don't remember what movie makes you feel better when you're sick?" Terri asked annoyed as she left. Mr. Schue looked at the disc and threw it. Was he being too hard on Terri? Maybe she really was trying to help him through the illness.
Cut to cafeteria where Kurt and Mercedes are talking at lunch. "I'm shaking. And it's either from low blood sugar or rage. I knew it was only a matter of time before Rachel tried to take over the Glee Club," Kurt said to Mercedes as he flashed back to Rachel getting in front of the Glee Club. Rachel began writing "Me." on the board. "Class, in Mr. Schuester's absence, I'd like to go around and ask everyone what solos they'd like to hear me perform at sectionals," Rachel said as Santana looked outraged. "All right, you know what? Let me at her!" Santana exclaimed as Sam held her back "¡Tú eres loca!" Rachel screamed as they flashed back to current time.
"We'll forget all about it tonight at bowling," Mercedes shrugged. "I can't. Blaine asked me to hang out," Kurt said as Mercedes frowned. "I've been looking forward to it all week," she then hesitated before asking "Wait. Are you two going out? Because I think you need to come clean." "What? No," Kurt exclaimed " I don't want another Jesse/Rachel traitor scenario to overcome." Kurt took a deep breath "Please, Mercedes. Mum's the word." "We'd be happy for you. I mean, we know how lonely you've been," Mercedes admitted. "All right, we just hang out. Nothing about Glee club even ever comes up. It's just nice to have someone to talk to," Kurt said as Mercedes made a face. "What is that supposed to mean?" Mercedes asked. "I mean someone like me," Kurt said as Mercedes nodded understandingly "But I promise to make it up to you. We'll hang out Friday night." "We better," Mercedes chuckled as they took their seats at lunch with their food. "So what are we going to do about Glee Club while Mr. Schue is sick?" Mercedes asked as Kurt brightened up "I have an idea. Have you met the new Spanish teacher?"
Cut to Miss Holly Holiday walking into the Spanish classroom. "It's not easy being a substitute teacher. Kids feel like they get the day off. They'll goof off, egg your car, cut class, break into your car, throw spitballs, put an alligator in your car...And I don't even have a nice car," Holly said in a voice over as she then talked to the class in Spanish. "¿Lindsay Lohan es bien loca no?" Holly said as the class looked very confused "Repiten." "Lindsay Lohan es bien loca," the class said. "So I try to relate to the kids, listen to what they have to say, make it fun for them," Holly said in her voice over. "No, repiten otra vez, con más energía. Venga!" Miss Holiday exclaimed. "Lindsay Lohan es bien loca," the class repeated. "Because I'm the cure for the common class." Holly said in her voice over. "¡Muy bien!" Holly said as she then asked the class how many time Lindsay Lohan had been to rehab "¿Cuántas veces a asistido Lindsay Lohan en rehabilitación?" The class all looked confused as Holly added "Cinco veces. ¡Cinco!" Kurt then entered the Spanish classroom. "Excuse me, Miss Holliday? A word?" Kurt asked as Holly then told the class to talk amongst themselves about how many times Lindsay Lohan had been to rehab. "Favor de ponerse en grupos, para discutir cuántas veces se ha puesto Lindsay Lohan en rehabilitación."
Holly then turned to Kurt to ask if she could help him with something "¿Te puedo ayudar en algo?" She asked. "I understand that you are subbing for Mr. Schuester's Spanish class, and I was wondering if you might not want to take over his Glee Club duties, as well," Kurt said in a hopeful tone. "What makes you think I know the first thing about Glee Club?" Holly asked. "You subbed for my English class last week. And you were extraordinary," Kurt said as Holly smiled as a flashback began of her performing 'Conjunction Junction" in Kurt's English Class.
"Are you on anything? 'Cause this is trippy," Brett, a stoner in Kurt's class asked. "You smell homeless, Brett...Homeless," Kurt said. Back in regular time Kurt and Holly are talking in the Spanish classroom. "Miss Holliday, we are floundering. Won't you please take over Glee Club?" Kurt asked in a hopeful tone. "I thought you'd never ask," Holly smirked. "Yay!" Kurt celebrated "Muchas gracias."
Cut to the choir room where Puck is buttering the floor. "Dude, what are you doing?" Finn asked him confused. "Kurt got us a substitute, so I'm buttering the floor," Puck smirked. "But sectionals is, like, two weeks from now," Finn argued. "Hey, Gigantor," Artie called as Finn looked up at him "We're all gonna swap names, yo." Artie said pointing between himself, Tina, and Mercedes. Rachel then began walking into the choir room. "Um, did I hear something about a substi-tute" Rachel said as she slipped on the butter falling flat on the floor. "Yes! It works!" Puck celebrated as Rachel quickly got herself back up. "Well, at least I didn't fall and break my talent," she said annoyed as she took her seat "I'm fine." Mercedes, Tina, and Artie continued to laugh as she did so. Holly then entered the room swiftly sliding across the floor.
"Oh, what the hell?" Artie said. "Hola, clase. Nothing says "bienvenidos" quite like a buttered floor," the substitute said as Kurt entered behind her, slipping in the butter "Let's start with some introductions. My name is Holly Holliday. What's yours? Go," Holly said as she snapped her fingers looking at Puck. "I'm Finn Hudson. I'm quarterback of the football team," Puck said imitating Finn. "I'm Rachel Berry, his loud, loud girlfriend," Santana said raising her hand. "I'm Mike Chang," Brittany said as Mike nodded at her impression. "Those aren't your names. You know why I know that?" Holly said. "You're psychic?" Brittany asked.
"I know this because I recently watched a video of you guys performing at regionals, where you came in last. Maybe it's because the songs were about 30 years old, but..." Holly began. "Those songs are classics," Finn objected. "Those songs are amazing. But they sounded like somebody else's favorite songs. Not yours. Just sayin'," Holly shrugged. "She speaks the truth," Brittany nodded. I'm not your average, run-of-the-mill substitute teacher. I want you guys to do things that you want to do. I want you to have fun in our fabulous but fleeting time together. What do you say we have class outside today?" Holly asked. "It's raining outside," Mercedes said shaking her head. "Well, then let's take a field trip to Taco Bell," Holly smirked as the Glee Club looked at each other, could it be possible that a substitute teach could be this amazing?
"Should we take up some medical-grade marijuana? I wish," Holly smirked as the Glee Club murmured in agreement. "It's really hard not to like this woman," Finn said shaking his head. "Okay, no. We can't just goof off all day. We have to write a set list for sectionals," Rachel defended. "You're right. What songs would you like to do?" Holly asked as the New Directions all looked at each other.
"Oh. Don't get asked that question much, do we?" she said as they shook their heads. "Ms. Holliday is right. Mr. Schuester's setlist sometimes seems like he hasn't listened to the radio since the '80s," Kurt agreed. "He never listens to what I have to say," Puck frowned "Just last week I suggested we do the New Cee-Lo song, you know 'Forget You'."
Flashback to last week when Puck suggested they sing 'Forget You'. "Mr. Schue, can we do that new Cee-Lo song, "Forget You"?" Puck asked as Mr. Schue thought about it. "No. Come on guys we need to find songs for our set list, Sectionals is only a month away and we need classics like what we did with Journey," Mr. Schue said as Puck looked frustrated.
Cut back to present time. "Cee-Lo! That's what I'm talking about," Holly grinned. "Okay, excuse me? What would you know about Cee-Lo? 'Cause you're like, 40," Santana quipped. "Top 40, sweet cheeks," Holly said to Santana with a smirk. "Hit it!" she motioned to the band as they began to play 'Forget You' which the entire Glee Club got into, all but Rachel.
The New Directions cheered as they completed the song this had gone incredibly well, maybe what they needed was a break. "Let's go get some tacos!" Holly yelled as the Glee kids cheered.
Cut to the locker room where Coach Beiste is talking to the football players with a can of athlete's foot spray in her hand. "This is not up for discussion, fellas. You do not spray athlete's foot medicine in your teammates' eyes. Come on!" Beiste scolded the boys as Sue entered the room. "Can I help you, Sue?" Beiste asked turning to Sue. "Principal Sue, and I'm here to inform you that effective 4:00 P.M. today... The football team is officially... disbanded," Sue said. "Well, if you're cutting the football team, who are your cheerios! Going to cheer for?" Beiste asked pointedly as Sue made a face. Coach Beiste had a point but Sue wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. "I will get back to you on all of this later," Sue said as she left the locker room. Beiste then sprayed the athlete's foot medicine "No." She scolded the team.
Cut to Sue in her office rigorously writing in her journal. "Humiliation. Bested by the Beiste, less than 24 hours after my plan to replace all chairs in the school with sharp poles was thwarted...a resounding defeat in my war against sitting. Reality is, I'm a champion, and once I get power, I do not let it go. I need a cause," Sue said in a voice over as she then looked out her office window seeing how unhealthy the kids were eating these days. "That's it," Sue said in her voice over as the idea came to her. This was it, her cause, to stop obesity at McKinley High and put the students on a healthier diet. "Becky, get your Fanny in here, and bring your pad," Sue called as Becky rushed into Sue's office. "Yes, coach?" Becky asked with her pad ready. "Becky, take a memo. McKinley High is going to have a junk food ban." Sue smirked. "Outstanding," Becky grinned.
Cut to a fantasy Mr. Schue is having about being back at school performing with Mike Chang in the auditorium. "Mr. Schue, I'm so glad you're better. We can't win sectionals without you," Mike said. "Mike, I know. Now, I'm gonna run through a number here, and after a bit, I want you to join in, got it?" Mr. Schue asked. "Got it," Mike nodded. "All right," Mr. Schue grinned as he began to perform 'Make 'Em Laugh' from Singing in the Rain.
Mr. Schue awoke to the sound of his apartment building's buzzer. He then realized he was having a fantasy brought on by his constant watching of 'Singin' in the Rain'. He got up to answer the door to find Rachel there. He quickly let her in.
"I don't understand who gave her the authority to take over Glee Club," Mr. Schue asked confused as Rachel tried to answer him which ended up being a muffled sound cut off by her mask. "What?" Mr. Schue asked confused. "I was doing a fine job of running Glee in your absence, and then Kurt, jealous, asked her to take over," Rachel huffed. "I'm not too worried about it, Rachel. I really appreciate your concern, but... I'm not worried about someone coming in and usurping me. You kids love me," Mr. Schue said honestly. "Sue doesn't," Rachel added as it hit Mr. Schue, Rachel was absolutely right. Sue was looking for any reason to take him down and maybe this was her chance, of course Figgins would quickly reinstate him and the Glee Club but the risk of Sue trying to cut his job was real. "You have to get well, Mr. Schuester, because every day you're here, she's there, and it becomes more and more likely that she's going to start running the Glee Club, and you're going to become the substitute," Rachel said as she left Mr. Schue's apartment.
Cut to Kurt and Mercedes in line at lunch. "Oh, we have to get there early on Friday. It's league night for little people, and they'll buy up all the small shoes if they get there first," Mercedes said. "Oh, I totally forgot. Greg Evigan is starring in Rent at the community playhouse, and Blaine got us tickets," Kurt frowned. ""Us" as in all of us?" Mercedes asked in a hopeful tone. "I think he could only score two," Kurt said as Mercedes fumed. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do this Friday? Hmmm? You promised you'd make up missing bowling and now all of a sudden you have other plans," Mercedes said sassily. "Mercedes, we hang out all the time. I'm sure I can make it up to you on Saturday," Kurt frowned. "Yeah until Blaine decides to make plans with you," Mercedes quipped annoyed as she began to walk off. "Mercedes..." Kurt frowned chasing after her but it was too late, he had made Mercedes very angry.
Mercedes angrily put down her tray and sat with Quinn, Sam, Tina, and Mike. "I cannot believe Kurt," Mercedes huffed. "What did he do?" Tina asked. "He forgot all about our plans on Friday all because Blaine asked him to hang out again," Mercedes said. "I thought we were supposed to be happy for Kurt," Quinn said. "Oh hell to the no. Not anymore. If he thinks he can blow me off like that he's got another thing coming," Mercedes huffed. "Mercedes, don't you think you're overreacting? I'm sure Kurt didn't mean to blow off your plans," Sam said. "Maybe not but I ain't second fiddle to anyone," Mercedes said as Kurt approached the table. "Mercedes can't we talk please?" Kurt asked hopefully. "I am so done talking to you Kurt Hummel. Go enjoy your new best friend because clearly I've been replaced," Mercedes huffed as she stormed off. Tina, Mike, Quinn, and Sam all looked at Kurt sympathetically as Kurt looked crushed, was he going to lose his best friend over this?
Cut to Glee Club practice where Holly is greeting the students as they enter the choir room. "Hola Classe, are you ready for another fun filled day," Holly grinned as the Glee Club cheered all but Rachel whose hand shot up. "Yes Rachel?" Holly said. "Miss Holiday, while I admire you trying to put the fun in our lessons, Sectionals is only a few weeks away and we need to get our setlist prepared. If Mr. Schue were here this would not be the time to goof off," Rachel objected. "Well Mr. Schue is out sick for the week Rachel. I'm in charge of what goes on in Glee Club. Besides, I'm sure you have plenty of good ideas for Sectionals without him," Holly said as Rachel grinned. "Well I have been wanting to try out this new duet with Finn," Rachel grinned lovingly at him. "I'm in," Finn said as Santana rolled her eyes. "Oh please another Finn and Rachel duet is exactly what the competition will expect from us," Santana huffed. "Well what do you suggest Santana? We give the solo to you?" Rachel said annoyed. "That is the best idea you've had dwarf. I think it's about time to let the real stars of McKinley shine," Santana said as she took Brittany's hand as she, Brittany, and Quinn took over to perform 'Lady Marmalade'.
"Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista. Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista," Quinn, Brittany, and Santana sang together. "He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge struttin' her stuff on the street," Santana sang flirtatiously as she walked up to Finn as Rachel looked more and more annoyed "She said, "Hello, hey Jo, you wanna give it a go?" Oh! uh huh". " Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada," Quinn and Brittany sang. "Hey hey hey," Santana sang. "Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here," Quinn and Brittany sang. "Here," Santana sang. "Mocha Chocalata ya ya," Quinn and Brittany sang. "Oh yeah," Santana sang. "Creole lady Marmalade. Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir. Voulez vous coucher avec moi," Quinn, Brittany, and Santana sang as Quinn then took over. "He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up. Boy drank all that Magnolia wine On her black satin sheets is where he started to freak, yeah," Quinn sang as she held Sam's hand. "Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada," Santana and Brittany sang. " Da-da-da," Quinn sang. "Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here," Santana and Brittany sang. "Here ooh yeah yeah," Quinn sang. "Mocha Choca lata ya ya," Santana and Brittany sang. "Creole lady Marmalade," Santana sang on lead with Brittany and Quinn backing her up. "Marmalade," Brittany and Quinn sang. "Oooooh," Santana sang. "Lady Marmalade," Brittany and Quinn sang. "Ooooh yeah," Santana sang. "Marmalade," Brittany and Quinn sang. "Marmalade, hey, hey, heyyyyy," Santana sang. "Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth. Color of cafe au lait alright," Brittany sang. "Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried," Santana sang. "More, more, more. Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5," Quinn, Santana, and Brittany sang. "9 to 5," Santana sang. "Sleepin' the grey flannel life but when he turns off to sleep memories creep," Brittany sang. "More," Quinn and Santana sang. "More, More," Brittany, Santana, and Quinn sang. "Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada," Quinn and Brittany sang. "Da da yeah," Santana sang. "Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here," Quinn and Brittany sang. "Ooh," Santana sang. "Mocha Choca lata ya ya," Quinn and Brittany sang. "Creole lady Marmalade," Santana sang as Brittany and Quinn joined in singing "Creole Lady Marmalade yes" the girls then posed as the New Directions cheered for them all but Rachel who looked infuriated.
"Ladies, now that's what I'm talking about," Holly said high fiving the Unholy Trinity who looked pleased with their performance. "Come with the passion that these 3 had next class session you hear?" Holly smirked as Rachel face was turning colors.
Cut to Kurt at his locker as Karofsky approaches him. "Question for you," Karofsky said putting his hand on Kurt's shoulder starling him "You tell anyone else what happened? How you-you kissed me?" "You kissed me, Karofsky," Kurt said as Karofsky looked pissed off "and I understand how hard this is for you to deal with, so no, I haven't told anyone else." "Good. You keep it that way. 'Cause if you do, I'm gonna kill you," Karofsky said in his most threatening voice as he walked off. Kurt looked incredibly terrified. He knew if he said a word to anyone other than Blaine his life was going to be even more hell than what Karofsky was putting him through, so he decided then and there to keep Karofsky's secret.
Cut to Mr. Schue's bedroom where Terri has put out a tray with soup for him as she's trying to tuck a napkin into his shirt. "So... What meds are you on?" Mr. Schue asked as Terri prepared to give him his first spoon full of soup. "Um, antidepressants and anti-anxiety when I need them," Terri said as she then fed Mr. Schue. "Are you happy?" He asked her seriously. "You know, I think I feel like for the first time maybe I could be happy," Terri answered honestly as Mr. Schue excepted her answer. She then asked "How about you?" "Happy?" Mr. Schue asked. "Yeah," Terri said. "If I'm gonna be honest, no. I still feel like I'm searching for something," Mr. Schue said honestly. "Here. Some more," Terri said giving Mr. Schue another mouthful of soup before cleaning him off "There..." "Thanks, Terri. Baby likes his soup," Mr. Schue grinned as they shared a laugh. "You know, I remember something else that baby loves a lot," Terri grinned as she took out a menthol jar. "Rubbing menthol. I love that stuff," Mr. Schue grinned. "I know you do. Take your shirt off, lie on your stomach. Come on," Terri said as Mr. Schue's smile fell "What? I'm not going to kill you. It'll make you feel better." "All right," Mr. Schue agreed as he took off his shirt and layed down on his stomach. Terri then began to rub the menthol into him which brought something out in both of them. Terri began kissing his back. "Don't. Don't. I don't want to get you sick," Mr. Schue objected. "I don't care," Terri said breathlessly as the two began to makeout just like old times.
Cut to the cafeteria where Mercedes is less than thrilled with Coach Sylvester's new menu. "Look at this crap. Foam fish sticks? Principal Sylvester's only serving predigested food now to give us more energy. I mean, do I look like a damn baby bird?" Mercedes complained as Kurt took the seat next to her. "Don't fret your culinary disappointments. I come bearing gifts," Kurt grinned. "You brought some real food?" Mercedes asked hopefully. "Better. I've set you up on a date," Kurt grinned as Mercedes' face fell "I get it. My new budding friendship with Blaine is making you feel left out, jealous." "Who's the guy?" Mercedes asked. "Anthony Rashad," Kurt grinned as Mercedes turned towards Anthony who gave her a smile. "Why him?" Mercedes asked. "No reason," Kurt said. "Oh, so it has nothing to do with the fact that he's one of the five black guys at this school?" Mercedes shot back. "Uh, no, he is a wide receiver on the football team, he is very good-looking, and he is a member of the black student union," Kurt said listing off his actives as he then took Mercedes' hand "Mercedes, trust me, love is just around the corner." Mercedes gave him a look. "Who says I'm lonely. I'm a strong woman who doesn't need a man and for you to make assumptions, that's not cool Kurt," Mercedes huffed as she got up from the table as Kurt frowned. He really was trying to do something nice for his best friend but instead he pushed her further away.
The next day at school Mr. Schuester arrived back to McKinley High weakly. He knew Rachel had made a very good point that he needed to come back as quickly as possible. He was then stopped by Sue. "Hey, buddy, you look terrible... you should be home in bed. There's no reason for you to be here," Sue said. "Well, the kids need me," Will said as he tried to get past Sue. "No, literally, there's no reason for you to be here. The kids prefer the substitute, and so do I," Sue smirked as Mr. Schue looked shocked "I got to be honest with you, Will. A lot of it's the hair thing. In fact, right now I'm tempted to sell your scalp on the black market as a tiny, full-length shearling coat for only the most fashionable of premature babies." "Oh... I long for the day when Figgins gets better and comes back," Mr. Schue said. "Well, that's not gonna happen. The school board has been just flooded with emails from parents thrilled with my tough stance on healthy teen lunches. Figgins has been fired, and I've been formally offered the position," Sue smirked as Mr. Schue looked horrified "So, why don't you go home, rest, watch some tv, die. It doesn't matter... 'cause you know what? As my first official act as full-time principal, you are fired." Sue then walked off as Mr. Schue looked stunned. How could he lose his job just like that? What Sue was saying couldn't be true right? He could only hope not.
Rachel stormed into Sue's office. "Principal Sylvester," Rachel said as Sue looked up. "Coach she doesn't have an appointment," Becky frowned. "It's okay Becky...let her squawk," Sue said as Becky left the room. "It has come to my attention that you decided to hire Miss Holiday as our new Glee Club director," Rachel said hands on hips. "Does this have a point?" Sue said working on some papers and not looking up at Rachel. "She's going to run Glee Club into the ground! Don't you think the school district will look down on your reign as Principal if you lose one program? They'll give the job back to Figgins in a heartbeat," Rachel said as Sue looked up at her narrowing her eyes at Rachel. "I see nothing to indicate that she's unfit to run the Glee Club. I think you're just mad because she's not giving you every solo. Didn't you once file a complaint against one Will Schuester for the same reasons?" Sue asked. "But I...." Rachel began. "Get the hell out of my office Berry unless you have an actual problem. Got it?" Sue said as Rachel huffed and stormed off.
Cut to the choir room where Holly is having the band kids painting the walls a yellow color. "Nice job, band dudes. It feels like the sun is shining in here," Holly beamed. "And the body's still warm," Mr. Schue commented as he introduced himself "Hi. I'm Will Schuester, and this is my choir room." "I'm sorry we had to meet like this," Holly frowned "The kids really love you. You must be a great teacher." "You don't believe that... if you did, you wouldn't have taken my job so easily," Mr. Schue shot back at her. "Guys, you want to take five?" Holly asked the band guys as they walked off.
She then began to talk to Mr. Schue alone "Okay, you want to have this conversation, let's have it." "You're a substitute... of course you can...Paint murals and let the kids sing whatever they want. You're never around when they have to deal with the hangover of all that fun," Mr. Schue complained. "16% of all high school students dropped out last year. We can't just expect them to sit up and pay attention. These kids feel special. They have a voice, and if we don't listen to it, they just tune us out," Holly objected. "I give my kids a voice. I just don't let it run free. I'm the teacher... it's my job to know more than they do," Mr. Schue argued. "Right, but you don't know more about what they care about the most... themselves. These kids get bored, they change their Facebook status. They're entitled to have all of these emotions, and not only that, they're entitled for the world to care about them. That's what this generation is about," Holly said. "A great teacher is supposed to show them that there are other points of view besides their own," Mr. Schue argued. "Okay, fine. What do you do when a kid does something really great in your class?" Holly asked. "Praise them," Mr. Schue said. "I tweet them about it right there and then, and for those 30 seconds, I know that that kid has a connection with me," Holly grinned as Mr. Schue looked dumbfounded "Look, it's... a terrible economy, and good teaching jobs are hard enough to get, let alone one in the arts. I just... I'm sorry, but I... I can't turn this opportunity down." Holly then walked off leaving Mr. Schue out of a job.
That night Kurt and Blaine were out to dinner at Breadstix and Kurt was barely touching his food, seeming down. "Kurt..." Blaine said as Kurt seemed to get out of his trance "Is everything okay? I mean you're just so...removed. Is it Karofsky?" Kurt sighed "Karofsky isn't any worse than he's been before," he said honestly. "What is it?" Blaine asked taking Kurt's hand "You know you can tell me anything." "It's Mercedes. She was at one time my only friend. The only person who got me through last year when I was struggling to accept who I was," Kurt said honestly. "What's going on with her?" Blaine asked. "She's been mad at me because our plans have been falling through lately because..." Kurt began "Because of me," Blaine finished as Kurt sighed. "I love spending time with you. It's the first time I've truly felt like I could be myself around someone in a long time," Kurt said as Blaine smiled a bit "I just don't want to lose Mercedes in the process." Blaine seemed to be understanding "We have been hanging out a lot. Why don't you invite Mercedes out with us next time?" Blaine asked. "You'd be okay with that?" Kurt asked. "Of course. I mean she was a real friend to you so I'd love to meet her," Blaine offered as Kurt smiled back at him.
Cut to Sue's office where Mercedes and Holly are seated. "You want to tell Ms. Holliday why we're here?" Sue asked narrowing her eyes at Mercedes. "Remember when I asked to be excused from class?" Mercedes said as a flashback began. "Miss Holiday, may I be excused from class. I have some business I need to take care of," Mercedes said. "Sure," Holly beamed. Cut to Mercedes writing on Sue's Lecar with ketchup with words that read 'JUSTICE FOR McKINLEY' and shoving all the food Sue banned into her car. Cut back to today. "Do you want to know what business she was attending to? She was vandalizing my Lecar!" Sue said upset. "Well you shouldn't mess with my food," Mercedes said sassily. "You did $17,000 worth of damage," Sue said showing the bill "I drive a very rare and desirable automobile, ladies. Prized by collectors for its peerless grace among vintage European sports cars, one out of seven in existence. The 1979 Lecar. You know how many hours it took to find a mechanic who even knew what a Lecar was? She's your student. I would love to hear what you suggest as punishment," Sue snarled at Holly. "I was gonna suggest clapping erasers, but you guys are mostly dry-erase here, so..." Holly said unsure of herself as Mercedes snickered.
"You know what you might not find so funny, Mercedes, is that tampering with an automobile is a felony. And you can rest assured that I and my attorney, Gloria Allred, will be pressing charges," Sue snarled as Mercedes looked nervous. "So... Am I going to jail, or..." Holly asked. "Undetermined," Sue said. "Great," Holly said. "Get the hell out of my office," Sue said narrowing her eyes at Mercedes who left the office, Sue then turned to Holly. "You have absolutely no idea what you're doing, do you?" She asked. "No. Not really," Holly admitted. "By the way, berets are out," Sue snarled at Holly as she left.
Cut to Holly and Mr. Schue at his apartment where they are sitting on the couch as Mr. Schue hands Holly a beer. "Sorry for just coming over like this. I wanted to do this in person. Plus, I heard you have expensive beer," Holly sighed. "I'm glad you did. And I do," Mr. Schue smiled at Holly before adding "Look, I was out of line before... you have every right to teach however you want. And the fact is, the kids clearly love you." Holly shook her head tearing up "I'm a terrible teacher. Don't argue with me... I know I am," Holly sniffled "Today... Mercedes got in trouble for destroying Sue Sylvester's car, and we were sitting in Sue's office, and Mercedes was looking at me like... And I just was totally lost." "What did... what did Sue do to her?" Mr. Schue asked worried. "Whatever. I don't know. She, like, suspended her or whatever," Holly said calmly as Mr. Schue looked at her dumbfounded.
"Oh! See? God, I do that every time! As soon as things get serious, I retreat. God, I... I didn't used to be like this, you know? I-I-I was...More like you," Holly sighed to Mr. Schue as she flashed back to her first substitute teaching job. "Spaulding High School, ten years ago," Holly said in a voice over. "Good morning, class," Holly grinned. "I was subbing for a math teacher," Holly said in the voice over. "The syllabus says that you're on algorithms, so let's start with some easy ones," Holly said chipperly. "Let's start with you kissing my ass!" A girl said sassily. "Her name was Cameo. She was like an attractive biggie smalls," Holly said in the voice over. "Okay, Miss..." Holly began. "Cameo," Cameo said. "Miss Cameo, do you find that algorithms are hard for you to understand?" Holly asked. "Do you find my fist hard to understand?" Cameo said slamming her hand on the desk. "I have some really great tricks that make them very easy to learn," Holly said. "Tricks? What are you, some type of magician substitute? I'm a Christian, and that devil magic stuff offends me!" Cameo shot back as she got up out of her seat. "Cameo!" Holly screamed.
Cut back to today where Holly is still talking to Mr. Schue on the couch. "I woke up in an empty classroom. They'd stolen my air Jordans. From that moment, I realized I got to keep things moving, I got to keep it mellow and fun," Holly explained. "Yeah, to keep from getting your butt kicked," Mr. Schue said."And I do, in all ways. I never sign more than a month-to-month lease. I only eat off paper plates. I live on one-night stands. Last year a guy asked me to marry him; I moved," Holly explained. "Sounds... lonely," Mr. Schue offered solemnly. "Yeah. Well... it works for me. But it doesn't work for those kids. I'm resigning," Holly said as Terri then entered the room.
"Wow, Will. I mean, wow," Terri said upset as Mr. Schue walked over to talk to her. "What are you doing here? You should've called," Mr. Schue objected. "I brought you some more soup. But I guess baby's feeling a lot better if he's healthy enough to have a beer with a friend!" Terri huffed. "No, no. I... Hi. I'm-I'm Holly Holliday," Holly said introducing herself. "Are you a porn star or a drag queen? I'm Terri Schuester, Will's wife," Terri shot back at Holly. "Wow. Your wife's kind of a bitch," Holly said bluntly. "She's my ex-wife. And I have no idea what she's doing here," Mr. Schue muttered. "Do I have to remind you what went on here?" Terri asked upset. "Can we talk about this another time?" Mr. Schue asked. "Why, 'cause this is embarrassing in front of your new girlfriend? Where has she been the past two days, huh?" Terri huffed. "Okay, I'm just gonna go home," Holly said as she got up to leave. "No. I'm sorry, Terri. Last night was a mistake. I knew it as soon as it happened. I was lonely and... You were there. I-I am sorry," Mr. Schue apologized. "No, I'm... honey, I'm sorry. I just...I'm really out of control right now, and... I'm gonna come back. Okay?" Terri said changing her tune. "Terri," Mr. Schue said as Terri turned around. "Yeah?" Terri asked. "Don't. Don't come back," Mr. Schue said as Terri looked heartbroken. "This is your last chance, Will. It's never gonna happen again. If I leave now, I'm never gonna come back," Terri said as Mr. Schue didn't even flinch "You're gonna regret this, Will. I swear to God, you're gonna regret this." Terri then stormed out of the apartment. "Are you okay?" Holly asked Mr. Schue worriedly. "Tell me again about this life with no consequences," Mr. Schue said. "It's kind of awesome," Holly smirked as Mr. Schue laughed.
Cut to Kurt's room where he has invited Mercedes over to talk with him and Blaine. "We need to talk," Kurt told Mercedes seriously. "Is this some sort of intervention because of what I did to Sue's Lecar?" Mercedes asked as she sat down. "Kurt's just been worried about you...he feels like your friendship has drifted apart," Blaine said as Mercedes shot him a look. "Well everything was fine until you showed up Mr. Perfect," Mercedes shot at him. "Mercedes. I'm not breaking it off with Blaine. I really like him," Kurt sighed as Blaine grabbed his hand in support. "You are substituting food for love, Mercedes. And more importantly, you're substituting me for a boyfriend. Look at me. Two weeks ago, I thought there was no way I'd ever find someone like Blaine. And there he was. You will find somebody. But until then, you just got to take care of yourself. And treat yourself with a little respect."
Mercedes sighed. Kurt had a point. "You're right...I'm sorry with how I've been acting so jealous and possessive with you. I just felt like you were blowing me off because the new and improved best friend had arrived," Mercedes said. "Mercedes there is no one in the world that could replace you for me. You were the first person who I came out to and the first person to accept me with open arms for it," Kurt said as Mercedes smiled at him "Besides that you're one of the only people I know I can trust with everything. I'm sorry if I made you feel unimportant, you're not. It's just Blaine is important to me too," Kurt said as Mercedes nodded. "I get it now," Mercedes smiled as she turned to leave. "You're leaving? Already?" Kurt asked. "Yeah... I'm gonna go talk to that Anthony kid. First time I saw him, I thought he was kind of cute. Maybe we have a shot," Mercedes said as Kurt smiled watching her leave feeling like he had done all he could to help his best friend.
Cut to Mr. Schue in Sue's office that morning. "Is is where I grovel to try to get my job back," Mr. Schue asked. "No groveling necessary, William. I'm returning you to your position," Sue said as Mr. Schue looked shocked "You know, one of the marks of a successful leader is appointing trusted lieutenants, and Ms. Holliday was clearly not up to the job. You irritate me, William. You make the under-flaps of my breasts burn, like when I used to rub them with poison sumac. But your kids sure love you, as evinced by the amount of treacly blubbering I had to sit through."
Flashback to the New Directions in Sue's office talking about Mr. Schue. "Mr. Schue's the only teacher at this school who asks you how you're doing and actually wants to hear an answer," Finn said. "Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after "m" and "n." I felt they were too similar and got frustrated," Brittany admitted. "I used to think that I was the best thing that happened to this school, but... I was wrong. Mr. Schuester is," Rachel said. Cut back to regular time. "You know, William, one thing I learned in my time as president..." Sue began saying. "Principal," Mr. Schue corrected her. "... you can't force public opinion. I pardoned you. Sometimes you got to give the inmates what they want. You throw 'em a comb, and hope they stop beating each other long enough to whittle it into a shiv," Sue continued. "Well, I am relieved. I sort of thought I'd been replaced," Mr. Schue grinned. "Aw, shut your gash, Nancy. And as a condition of my not pressing charges, your Glee Club will return my Lecar to mint condition. I suggest selling yourself on craigslist under the heading of "men seeking men with butt-chins."," Sue smirked as Mr. Schue shook his head. "You've got yourself a deal Sue," Mr. Schue said shaking Sue's hand.
Cut to the choir room where the New Directions are celebrating Mr. Schue's return, applauding him. "All right, all right, thank you very much, guys. Please, please, sit down," Mr. Schue said as the New Directions took their seats "Just... Thank you... For that and... and for all the kind words you said about me to Sue. The feelings are mutual. Now, we got to get crackin', though. We lost a few days there, and it's all gonna be about focus and hard work for the next couple of days." "I guess Ms. Holliday really is gone," Puck sighed. "I know you guys liked her, and she was a lot of fun, but she and I both agreed that this is what was best," Mr. Schue said. "Don't get us wrong, Mr. Schue, we always wanted you as our teacher. She was just kind of a nice break," Tina said. "She did loosen us up," Quinn added. "And she actually had some good ideas for a sub," Artie agreed. "Yeah. I get it. And maybe we can, uh, incorporate those... after sectionals," Mr. Schue said as he began getting the sheet music to a new song "Now, when I'm sick, there is only one thing that makes me feel better." "Gin and juice," Artie said. "No. Singin' in the rain," Mr. Schue said as he began passing out the sheet music to 'Singin' in the Rain'. "I must've watched it, like, ten times over the past three days. It's actually what inspired me to try this out as a contender for our first song at sectionals." "When is the song from?" Sam asked. "Well, the movie opened in 1952," Mr. Schue began as the New Directions looked concerned "But-but... but it's... But it's really timeless."
Cut to the history classroom where Holly is teaching as Mary Todd Lincoln. "Mary Todd Lincoln in the house! My husband was probably gay, and I'm bipolar, which makes me yell things like... "That teapot's spreading lies about me!" Or... "That can't be my baby, because I don't love it!"," Holly said as Mr. Schue knocked on the door. "Ms. Holliday, can I talk to you for a sec?" Mr. Schue asked. "Sure," Holly said to him, she then turned to her students "Guys, practice your bipolar rants, okay? See? History can be fun!" Holly then walked out into the hall closing the door behind her.
"How are you holding up?" Mr. Schue asked. "Okay. I'm back to my itinerant ways, I guess. I do miss Glee Club, though," Holly admitted. "Well, as much as the kids like me, they sure do miss you. Which is why next time I'm sick, I'm requesting you as the Glee sub," Mr. Schue smiled. "Really? Mr. Schuester, that's so nice of you. It would be nice to feel like a part of something, you know?" Holly grinned. "I know. I actually need your help with something else, though. See, I've been dying to do singin' in the rain with the kids, show them how great it is, but they're convinced it's too old-fashioned," Mr. Schue said. "Mm," Holly nodded. "Would you mind helping me make it a little more... modern?" Mr. Schue asked. "I thought you'd never ask," Holly smirked.
Cut to the auditorium where the New Directions plus Mr. Schue and Miss Holiday are performing a mashup of 'Singin' in the Rain' and 'Umbrella' by Rihanna.