Hayden's POV
Sunday
In the morning, Shawn and I were jolted awake to a loud banging on the door. He still had me laying in his arms with my head on his chest and our legs tangled with each others. Shawn looked at the clock and then went to get up to see who was at the door. I sat up, letting my eyes adjust to the sun light and watched him walk towards the door. I couldn't help but wonder who was the one banging on the door at 8:40.
"8:40" I whispered to myself barley remembering falling asleep. I then came to the realization of what time it was. "Holy shit!" I said louder as I flung off the bed, grabbing my stuff.
Shawn turned around to me, ignoring the door, noticing me freaking out. "What's wrong?" He asked stepping towards me.
"I was supposed to be at the studio today at 8!" I said running around the room and getting my stuff together. I walked in the bathroom to feel my clothes and they were still soaked.
"It's fine just leave it here and you can get it later." Shawn said calmly, standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
"Are you sure? These are your clothes." I said point to what I was wearing.
He nodded and gave me a soft smile, "You look better in them anyway." The banging on the door then got even louder. "What!" Shawn yelled annoyed as he opened the door.
"What the hell are you doing?" Geoff yelled. I stood behind Shawn looking over at Geoff. He made eye contact with me and then looked between the two of us. Shawn even turned his head to me and back at Geoff seeing the glare he was throwing towards him.
"You have to be at the interview in 20 minutes!" Geoff said more annoyed then before, still glancing between Shawn and I.
"Oh shit!" Shawn said quickly turning around to run back in the room and change.
Geoff still stood in the doorway not speaking a word to me. Knowing what he was problaby thinking right now, I didn't bother saying anything either.
Shawn quickly pulled his shirt over his head and was rummaging through his suitcase for a new one. "I should go." I said looking at the time again. I pulled my phone out and saw the 5 miss calls from Jordan and the 3 from Deb.
Shawn walked over to me as he threw on a new shirt over his head, "I'll see you later right?" He said looking for reassurance in my eyes.
I nodded, "I'll text you later." He leaned forward placing a quick kiss on my lips as I placed my hand on his chest. I pulled away taking one more glance at his eyes before I turned to leave.
I quickly rushed to the elevator and down to the lobby. I started to figure out that Jordan was already finishing with our first appointment of the day and I will make it in time for the second. But I came to the conclusion that I had no time to go home to change.
When the doors opened I quickly walked towards the front entrance but stopped short in my tracks. There were about 100 fans all waiting at the door for Shawn to come out with their phones ready. I looked down realizing how bad this would look if I went out there in Shawn's clothes.
I quickly turned around ready to find a different way out when the elevator doors opened and Geoff came walking out. Probably already knowing I would get stuck like this. "The back entrance is this way..." He said, wanting me to follow him. He still had the same annoyed expression written all over his face.
He led us through different hallways, a path I wouldn't have found on my own. I decided to break the silence knowing that this was a close member of Shawn's team, "Nothing happened if that's what you're thinking." I said. Geoff didn't look at me but mumbled a 'mhm'.
"It looks bad but it isn't what it looks like." I said again. Geoff raised his hand for me to stop talking as we stopped in front of a brown door.
"I don't care if anything happened or not, just don't catch yourself in the ring of fire when the fans find out about his New York hook up." Geoff said coldly. He opened the door for me, I slowly walked out as I took in his words. I turned around to say something but he already closed the door on me.
**
"I know, I know I'm late and I'm so sorry!" I said rushing into the recording booth at the studio. I placed my stuff down on the couch and then sat in my chair on my side of the control panel. I quickly looked on the computer at what they've recorded already and where we were at. I then turned to look at Deb and Jordan who weren't staring at me like they were pissed but like they were entertained.
"You look like you just ran out on a one night stand." Jordan said, both of them with smirks on their face.
I shook my head, "Well sorry to disappoint you but that is not why I'm late."
"Is that a hickey on your neck!" Deb said, leaning closer to me. My hand quickly shot up covering the spot Shawn was kissing me last night.
I pushed my chair away from the panel, standing up and walking over to the mirror. And there it was, a deep purple mark right at the base of my neck. I kept my hand over it as I turned towards the both of them.
"You seemed to have a fun night with Shawn..." Deb said wiggling her eyebrows at me. I shook my head turning back towards the computer to hide my blushed cheeks. I could hear both of them chuckle before focusing their attention back on the singer in the booth.
I rested my hand on my palm while I looked through what was recorded already. My mind then wandered off to Shawn and how amazing last night turned out to be. I smiled to myself, biting my lip, and I remembered the way he gently roamed his hands on my lips. The way he kissed me last night brought butterflies in my stomach. I knew that my heart was only Shawn's at this point, there was no going back.
**
Shawn's POV
After the interview we all went back to the hotel for an hour before my second interview of the day. We all went out to buy lunch and bring it back to the hotel. I currently was sitting in Brian's hotel room with Matt and Ian. We all just sat on the beds as we ate and I started to notice how quiet everyone was today which wasn't normal. Brian and Ian both sat on the second bed in the room across from me, staring my way.
"What?" I mumbled while my mouth was full of food.
"Shawn we need to talk." Brian said glancing at Matt who was also staring at me.
"About what?" I furrowed my eyebrows at them while taking another bite.
"It's about Hayden." I froze as I glanced up at them and stopped eating my food. I could already hear in Brian's voice that they aren't about to compliment her but are about to do the complete opposite.
"Look we really like her, and she seems great for you but we just have to be honest. We don't think this is a good idea." I placed my sandwich down in the take out box, already feeling myself get annoyed.
"Like come on man, you're in the middle of a tour, shes always going to be thousands of miles away from you most of the time. We can get you a hook up with someone else that's closer then she is," Ian continued saying. I rolled my eyes, getting up from my spot on the bed to throw out what was left of my food.
"First off, she's not just some hook up and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk about her like she's nothing. And second, why do you guys even care?" The anger was clear of my face as I stared back at them.
"Because it's just not you! It's against everything you've said the last couple of years!" Ian argued while raising his voice.
"And what have I been saying that's so different?" I said crossing my arms and leaning against the dresser.
"You always said they're wasn't any time for relationships when you're on the road, that it's not fair to you or her in the relationship. So why all of a sudden does this change that. You're either going to hurt her or hurt yourself." Ian said louder. "We think you should just call it off before this goes too far, this just isn't a good idea."
"I thought out of all people you two would understand." I said coldly as I shook my head. I couldn't believe that my best friends were saying this to me.
"Then explain it to us cause we don't!" Brian said louder.
"It's different with her! She's different! She's the exception to all of that because it's Hayden!" I said louder then before. "I don't want to be anywhere but with her. She's worth the hassle of going back and forth the hundred miles if it means I get to be with her for an extra five minutes. We talked about it, she knows how this will go if we keep doing this and she doesn't care. She's aware of the consequences of what a relationship with me would be like, she's aware that it's not smooth sailing and she doesn't care because she feels exactly how I feel. And I'm not just throwing it away because it's bad timing or that I'm on tour, if she's okay with it then I will do everything to make this work."
They both exchanged glances at each other and then back at me. Their expression looked more guilty then mad at this point. "Of course I feel so shitty when I think about how far away I am from her and I know she would want me there at her side but she won't ask me that because she knows that if I could I would. That's what this relationship is! It's not some random hook up that happened nearby and can't part from. It's real with her, and if you all can't except that then you might as well catch the next flight back home." I said before walking out of the room while slamming the door behind me. The guys didn't run after me or call for me, they let me go because that was the first time ever I talked about anyone so strongly.
**
Hayden's POV
"It sounds like you've had a perfect night..." Deb said while taking a sip of her coffee. I blushed as I ran my hand over the rim of the cup. We were sitting in Chips once we finished at the studio but Deb sent Jordan back home so we can have a girl talk.
"It was," I said lowly, thinking of Shawn again and softly smiling. My mind then wandered off to Geoff and that smile slowly started fading.
"What?" Deb asked while staring at me. I gave her a confused look and shrugged. "You left something out, I can tell by how quickly your mood just changed." She placed her cup down on the table too and stared at me.
"It's nothing, just something one of his crew member said to me..." I said quickly trying to get past this conversation. Deb was still staring at me waiting for me to continue. "I just don't think they like me that much."
Deb had a sad expression on her face as she leaned forward not won the table, "I doubt that's true. How could anyone not like you?" She said trying to make me feel better.
I shook my head, "No it was clear that I wasn't exactly wanted there. I think that they just believe this is a fling between Shawn and I, and they already want it over with." I took another sip of my coffee as Deb reached foward to squeeze my hand.
"Who cares, just ignore them. All that matters is that Shawn doesn't think of you that way." I bit my lip as my leg started to nervously bounce.
"What if he does?" I said lowly. Deb furrowed her eyebrows at me looking taken back by what I said.
"After what you just told me about your past two days with him, I can guarantee that he does not think of you as a fling. Trust me..." she said before taking another sip of her coffee.
Even though I felt Deb was right, I didn't know for sure. This could just be something Shawn has done in the past and that's why his crew members don't want me in the picture. I tried to shake my head out of my thoughts because I didn't want it to be true. I just wanted to rewind to Friday night.
**
Shawn texted me after his second interview, telling me that he has four hours before he had to leave for his flight. I met up with him at his hotel again, him opening the side door for me again. He gave me a soft smile as he leaned down planting a light kiss on my lips before interwinding his hands with mine. I could feel something was wrong but I was scared to ask.
We walked through the lobby and saw his friends heading into the arcade again. I smiled and gave them a small wave as Shawn started walking faster. His friends nodded to me with a soft smile as I saw it slowly fade as they looked at Shawn.
I glanced up at Shawn and I could see that he was annoyed as he pressed on the elevator button six times. When we got in I could see the frustration on his face but he was trying to hide it. He then placed his hands on my hips pulling me into his chest.
"Come here..." he mumbled softly, he wrapped his arms tightly around me and held me close to him. He kissed my cheek before burying his face in my neck. I rubbed my hand up and down his back knowing something wasn't right and I couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with the same thing Geoff said to me.
I then heard Shawn chuckle in my ear as he pulled away, "I'm sorry," he said as he brushed my hair behind my ear. "I didn't mean to leave a mark."
I realized he was refurring to the purple hickey on my neck. I shook my head with a goofy smile spreading across my face.
"Oh yeah, thank you for that, my friends were having a blast teasing me for that." Shawn laughed again, resting his hand on my cheek. His smile was genuine before I watched it slowly fade as his thoughts were taking over.
He slowly leaned down, as I gripped onto his sides, and placed our lips to together. It was slow, as if we both were just holding onto to this moment a little while longer. He then pulled away resting his forehead on mine, "I'm sorry that I have to leave tonight..." His eyes were searching mine but I shook my head reaching up and placing my hand on his cheek.
"It's okay... I knew the deal." I brushed my thumb across his check before he leaned down placing another quick kiss on my lips.
"Besides," I started to say as I moved my hand to rest in his jaw and brushed my finger across his bottom lip. "We got lucky, our two week date night is this coming Friday. Thanks to your show we get to see each three weeks in a row."
Shawn smiled and went to say something but the elevator doors opened up to the top floor. He reached down holding my hand again and led me to the stair case that went up to the roof.
Shawn led us over to the edge, resting on the rail as we looked down at the city streets. He was extremely quiet again as he leaned on his elbow on the railing. I knew that something was really getting to him because before tonight he was happy all weekend long.
"What is it?" I asked him already feeling my nerves kick in because my gut knew what was wrong. He looked towards me furrowing his eyebrows.
"What do you mean?" He turned more towards me, curious to know what I meant.
"Something is bothering you." I said before biting my lip, feeling sick to my stomach.
I took a deep breath, getting the courage to ask him what I knew was bothering him. "Did one of your crew members say something about me?"
Shawn furrowed his eyebrows at me, standing up straighter, "Why would you ask me that?" He then stepped closer to me when I saw his expression get angrier, his eyes searching mine for answers. "Did someone say something to you?"
I shook my head, "No," I lied. "I just felt like maybe that's what was wrong."
Shawn looked like he didn't believe me but leaned on the railing again, "Hayden I don't care what they have to say about us, because it doesn't matter."
I leaned on the railing close to him so our elbows were touching. The light from the city was hitting his face with different colors as the signs changed. He turned his head to look at me, only a few inches away from mine.
"This matters, us matters to me and that's all I care about. I don't need to convince anybody about how I feel except you Hayden." He stared towards my trying to read me.
I felt my heart start to quicken as I let my eyes meet his light brown ones. "I really like you Hayden, I wish that this was just a normal relationship and I didn't have to be almost across the world all of the time. But I really really care for you and that's all that should matter. I don't need anyone's approval for my feelings for you." He looked nervous as he waited for me to respond.
I gave him a soft smile, reaching over and placing my hand on top of his. "I really like you too." I whispered to him. He smiled but it soon faded when he watched me shake my head.
"But I wouldn't want this to be like every normal relationship because if it was then you wouldn't be doing what you love. I've watched you on that stage these past two nights and first hand I can see how happy performing makes you. You're love for music inspires me to find what I'm meant to do..." I could see his chest rising and falling quickly as he listened.
"I wouldn't change this... because then you wouldn't be who you are." I gave his hand a squeeze. He was genuinely smiling at me as he placed his lips to mine. He placed his hand on the side of my head pulling me closer to him as our lips moved in sync with each other's. I reached up resting my hand on his wrist, over his bracelet.
I pulled away and looked up at him. "That doesn't mean that I don't miss you when you're gone, it just means that I'm proud of what you're doing when you're not here with me."
"I don't know what I did to deserve you..." he mumbled with the same smile on his face.
"You didn't have to do anything, you had me while drinking your disgusting Javachip frappuccino." I said and he laughed wrapping his arm around me, pulling me closer.
"I really liked spending the weekend with you," He mumbled into my hair before kissing my head. I placed my hand on his arm that was wrapped around me.
"Me too..." For the rest of the night we stayed up on the roof, just the two of us. We knew we were out of time as Shawn's phone was lighting up with his managers name across the screen. Shawn looked hesitant not answering it for a third time.
"It's okay." I said as I brought his hand,that was intertwined with my fingers, to my lips before holding it in my lap. "I'll see you soon."
**
3 days later
Since Shawn left he's been texting me and talking with me every night on the phone. Besides last night he couldn't talk because he had an event to go to that other artists were invited too.
I've been in a great mood since Shawn and I spent the weekend together. I couldn't hide my excitement that he was coming back Friday night for our date. I could just picture us sitting in the park somewhere again or going out to a nice dinner. But the place didn't matter to me, it just made me happy knowing that Shawn would be there.
As I walked to work, I furrowed my eyebrows when I saw Deb standing outside of the studio pacing. "Deb?" I said so she could her me, she looked up at me startled and crossed her arms.
I walked quicker up to her knowing something was wrong, "What's going on?" I said placing a hand on her arm.
"Have you seen it?" She said softly with a pained expression across her face.
I furrowed my eyebrows at her shaking my head, "What are you talking about?" I asked.
She sighed and shook her head while pulling out her phone. I glanced between her and her phone as she was frantically typing something in. "I'm sorry Hayden... it just got posted this morning." She said while turning her phone to me.
My breath caught in my throat as I looked at the photo she was showing me. I snatched the phone out of her hands and looked closer at it. It was a picture of a couple kissing and it was clear as day that it was Shawn in the photograph.
"Hayden what can I do?" She said softly placing a hand on my arm. I shrugged it off, giving her back her phone and storming back home. "Hayden!" She called after me but I ignored her.
I headed in the direction I came from as my chest heaved rapidly.
You're not going to cry Hayden
I told myself, I pushed through the crowd of people on the streets trying to get somewhere where I could be alone.
You're not going to cry over him
I then felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, I had a feeling I knew who it was. I pulled it out seeing the photo I took of Shawn pop up on the screen. My hands shook out of anger as I quickly sent it to voicemail.
How could he?