I never noticed how quickly time can pass by when kept annoyingly busy. Two weeks came and went, not a second of it being spent on myself. From nine until six I'm on calls, emailing employees and other businesses, refiling documents to update the system and creating plans for the company's future. Half of the staffing is seemingly useless. They don't know how the system works or what section they are working in. Some I've had to fire, other's I've requested to be trained by my most competent members.
Seven from six I'm talking to Fawn about her behaviour and classes while making and eating my tea. She's moved classes for a few subjects where she feels more comfortable to learn. Her new teachers are better with understanding her situation. She is however still rude when trying to express her difficulties to Leah. Baby steps I guess.
Eight to ten I'm on call with at least one of the Squad to help them with their coursework and revision. Carter has been given an extension of one week, I made a few calls to make sure he isn't failed because of his struggles. The rest of the group finished a week ago, and are now deciding on university, internships or full time jobs.
That is why I am dying inside.
Physically, I am exhausted. As soon as I slump onto anything cushioned, I am out like a light. I've resorted to sitting at the dining table with wooden chairs to prevent slipping asleep when I still have tasks to get through.
Mentally, I am bored shitless. With basically reworking all of the programs the company covers, I'm working long nights after finishing with the guy's until I pass out in my bed. I've had one long headache for a week, leaving me nauseous most days.
I've had to ring up Ro and Ollie to ask if a Wolf can get the flu. Obviously they can't due to an impeccable immune system that links to the rapid healing. Yet, I haven't felt this bad since I had Whooping Cough several years ago.
An hour ago, I requested that Sheila answer all emails that aren't vital and to send me anything of significance due to being unable to move from my bed unless it is to throw up or get a drink. I've resorted to lying on my side with my phone propped up on my bedside table. I giggle as Carter swears at his computer in the next room while the sweet couple cuddle on the sofa while speaking to me on the television.
"I don't know what to do, Zo. I've never heard of a Werewolf getting ill like this." She whimpers, brows furrowed as I cough from the need to hurl despite having nothing in my system. "I've probably worked myself too hard." Neither of them seem convinced. Instead of arguing, they let it slide. "I think you should go to the Doctor's, Babes."
"And tell them what exactly? My body heat is naturally double the average humans, and my eyes are meant to dilate to the size of a golf ball?" I scoff, making myself cough again.
Swallowing down half a glass of water, I sigh and lean back down. "I don't know. Maybe they'll know what it is without having to do any tests." I make a noncommittal promise to think about it.
Eventually, they have to hang up for Rosie to drive Carter to his GP's for a medication review. I am extremely proud of him for opening up about everything. It wasn't like he had too much choice after Ro found him crying under the shower - still fully clothed - while having an intense breakdown. She went into big sister mode immediately, offering the safety he needed to admit his need for help.
It's still early in the day, barely eleven o'clock. I may as well drop by the medical centre in case I've contracted some critical illness that is destroying me because it would kill a regular Human. The walk in point is only a two hour walk, the air might even relieve some of the nausea.
It only takes a couple of minutes to book an appointment online with my new GP, Dr Sidonie Willard. To seem less obvious to those in my area, I asked my old practice to transfer all of my records across. With the amount of disease currently in the world, it is almost illegal to not have a family Doctor.
Beginning the journey, I breathe in the woodland's beautiful air. Majority of the area doesn't appear to have been touched by mankind the entire time it has been growing. Despite most of it being private land, the signs don't show up until a mile's circumference around the house. However, the hikers and tourists always treat the grounds respectfully.
Trailing my fingers over the dusty bridge, a thought comes to my mind. It is possible I could build family friendly camping areas and activities closer to the outskirts, while not damaging any of the nature.
Cutting directly through the forest, it knocks off some of the travel time than if I followed the path around. I know wildlife, always have and my senses have only been heightened to be more aware of everything within a half mile radius.
Finding myself already wobbling into the centre, I sign in on the IPad before taking a seat to one side where I'm not next to anyone. There's a woman in the room with a kid who's munching on a Scotch Egg. As soon as the smell wafts up my nose, I sprint into the bathroom to hurl up my guts yet again. The smell of fried food seems to be a trigger for me at the moment.
Someone knocks on the door while I'm panting, demanding that I hurry up so others can use it. The voice definitely belongs to an older woman with a sour personality. I try to ask her to wait but bile spews from my throat midway through the sentence. A receptionist has to lead her to another toilet for me to have some peace.
Ten minutes pass before I'm able to exit with an empty stomach, though that won't stop the bile building up. As I walk past the front desk, a sweet man passes me a tub of mints for me to take one from. He grins at the relief in my eye, waving his hand to dismiss me.
I don't have the chance to sit back down before, "Zoe Smith." echoes down one of the corridors. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I head towards the kind tone until I am slouching in a chair opposite a smiling woman. The room's drowning in the tang of hand sanitiser, though the sterility is soothing for once.
She takes one look at my pale skin and puffy eyes then leans away in her chair. The leather squeaks while she's poking the box tissues in my direction. "Thank you." I dry off my cheeks and wipe around my mouth just in case.
"What can I do for you today, Zoe?" Her hand reaches up to her neck, playing with a purple crystal hiding beneath her shirt. "Is that an Amethyst?"
"It is," something sparks in her eyes, causing her to relax and rest her elbows on the table, "but we're here to discuss what you need."
"Well, I don't know what is actually wrong with me. I've been getting nauseous throughout the day, making it difficult to keep anything down." She nods, typing away at her computer. "Any stomach pains?"
"The occasional cramping sensation though it never hurts." I grunt back a cough, feeling myself preparing to throw up again. "Has your appetite changed?"
"I'm eating more but I've been particularly active lately." While I tug on my lips she makes more notes. "Any headaches?" I shake my head. "What about dizziness?"
"When I move too soon."
"Any history of Iron deficiency?" I respond by moving my head to either side again, not daring to say more as I swallow down a mouthful of bile. "Diarrhoea or constipation."
"Uh-uh." She sighs, staring at the screen with a scowl. "Alright. We'll do a few tests just to give me a better understanding." She plasters on a smile, still displeased with whatever it is she read on the computer.
She reaches for her thermometer, placing it in front of my forehead. I tense with short breaths, knowing what is about to happen. It beeps erratically at the result of impossible degrees radiating from my skin. "A little higher than I'd like, though it is a warm day." She's too calm for my liking, it's thoroughly freaking me out.
Worried, I take in her scent again only to confirm that she is in fact Human. She could be something I haven't been exposed to yet, there is a ticklish undertone in her natural fragrance.
"You can stop sniffing me. There's no need to be so scared, I know what you are and you're safe with me." I bounce my head, still a bit tense in case she is a Hunter even though I don't sense any threat coming off of her.
She continues to check my blood pressure, pupil dilation and several other things, seemingly coming up blank. "You're eighteen, correct?"
"Yes."
"And you suffered from a severe animal attack just over eight weeks ago?"
"That's correct." Seeing her resort back to rubbing the stone between her fingers, something Chris taught me a few weeks back about different beings slots into place. "You're a Witch." She laughs at my abrupt speech, amused by my conclusion taking this long. "We prefer the term Warlock. I am one of few in this world." She shuffles about in her chair. "When was your last period?"
"That's a good question." I snigger, trekking back in my mind for a date. With everything going on, it hasn't exactly been my top priority to keep track of. "Maybe about ten weeks ago?"
"Are you normally irregular?"
"Not this much but my body and mind has been through a lot of stress lately." I have no clue how I didn't notice the absence, I'm normally rather paranoid about being on time. "Seeing as it was an animal attack, I assume you're bitten?"
"That's right."
"That explains some of the delay, though with it being this long, is there anything else you've experienced that would cause such a lapse of time?" I guess there's a decently sized list. "My parents died in a car accident; one of my friends was going through something; and I was... shit..." She instantly picks up on my apprehension when I collapse against the back of the chair with a hanging jaw.
"You know, Werewolves are highly fertile unless the spirit wouldn't be able to withstand such occurrences. That's why some only have one rather than a litter as your kind calls it. Therefore, I have to ask, is there a possibility that you're pregnant?" My hands smack into my cheeks as I rub at my eyes, warm salt trickling from them. Please let this be some sort of virus, I'm fucking begging!
"I'll do a test, and we'll work from there." I don't process her moving around, instead gasping to try and understand what this could mean. Surely it could still be something else. Maybe I've missed so many from stress and such and I'm feeling ill because of stress. Please let that be the case.
Twenty minutes later, she turns to me from the counter on the other side of the room. She's awfully good at hiding her facial expressions but no one can truly hide their emotions from me. Sitting back in her chair, her hand rests on top of mine. "From the look on your face, you already know the result which I must confirm is positive. I did two to be sure and they both have the same answer." I freeze until a strangled sob lurches me forward.
Patting and rubbing into my shoulder muscles, "The next course of actions is yours to decide and take. If you desire an abortion, we have to discuss how far along you are -"
"- Twenty eight days at most."
"You know the precise date?" I nod. Under the circumstances, it's difficult to forget. "Well, if you wanted it could be arranged but you'd have to be prepared for it to be more unorthodox due to your situation. Any other course can also be discussed and executed."
"I thought you were just a Doctor?" I sniff, finally able to pull myself together enough to look up at her. She laughs, "These three surrounding towns are only small. The closest hospital is twenty miles away, many professionals around here have multiple degrees and job roles to help the community."
"I don't know what I want to do." The whimper brings a sad smile to her pink lips. I've always been personally against abortion but understand if other's desire it as that is their decision. I guess my conception isn't the best situation but I'm not sure if I'd be able to do it on my own when knowing how it came to be.
"That's perfectly fine. You would normally have up to twenty four weeks to decide, but I'd recommended limiting that to fifteen. Is there anything else I can do for you?" She finds her chair, leaning back with crossed legs. "What would happen if I decided to keep it?"
"Well, er..." her eyes are bewildered before a heartfelt sigh leaves her, "Personally, many factors come into play. First, from what I've established, this baby was not planned or necessarily created appropriately but that shouldn't determine anything. Second, there could be several risks with your age, health and conception, though they are low risks due to your species. Third, you should know that Werewolves have a very high chance of multiple offspring due to the animal in you naturally giving birth to litters, as I said unless your body and soul didn't think it could handle more than one." The whole duration she rings her hands, seemingly not wanting to push any opinions.
"Thank you, I'll be in touch." I scoff at the end, amused that either way I'm going to have to come back.
Deep into the forest, I collapse against a tree. I'm genuinely lost on what to even think. I've been bombarded with flashes of the memory and the remembrance of the day after. I moved to get away from it, and now I'm dealing with a possible permanent result.
Why does this keep happening to me?
Finding the strength, I claw myself up with the aid of the large tree trunk. Making my way home, I repetitively wipe away tears that are too desperate to wait until in bed where I can safely release them into a pillow.
What would it entail to get rid of it? Would I be able to be happy with myself if I destroyed the chance of someone else's life? I've always wanted children, I adore them too much to not have a family. Even so, is this really how I want to start it? Raising the child of my rapist isn't exactly a dream of mine. Yet, it would still be my child and the way I raise it is up to me, not him.
On the positive side: it's not like I wouldn't be able to care for it. I have a good paying career along with a fair deal of savings that would get me through my whole life and my children's without having to work a day not that I would.
Then on a negative note: I'd be risking a lot. I'm still young and haven't lived much of my life. I haven't done half the things I wanted before settling down. Dating would be near impossible with all of the beliefs and stereotypes. I don't even know if my mentality would be able to take it.
Yet, I wouldn't be alone. I know I have a family, but I'd have one that I will never lose. I'll have someone to love in the most beautiful way. Someone so precious to me that I would feel like I could move mountains if that is what they wanted.
Unlocking the door, I traipse over to the couch, not really having the effort to drag myself all the way upstairs. Falling first face into a pillow, I find myself dozing into a well deserved nap that will help calm my brain.
Setting an alarm for an hour's time, my eyes grow heavy. They drift shut as my mind travels off to the distant land of peaceful sleep.
Sadly, just as my dream is getting half decent, the sound of 'Thunderstruck' by AC/DC smashes through the silence like a boulder in a catapult. Cursing the boy and his ringtone, I smash the screen to accept his call.
"You look like shit." I narrow my eyes into the camera. If I could slap him, I would. "What is it, Ant?"
"Finished work an hour ago, wanted to check in." He hums, rustling something beside the mic. "Is it just you?"
"If you open your eyes properly, you'd know."
"Too tired. I was trying to nap until you disrupted my rest." I growl. Several bouts of laughter appear on his side of the call. "Definitely not alone then. Thanks for the warning there, Ant."
"Did you go to the Doc's then?" The boom in Ro's voice tells me that she isn't close to the phone. A scream of a furious child then shatters my ear drum. "Is that Fawn? Why is she pissed now?"
"She's just hungry." Chris sounds defeated, utterly so. Leah and the kids just moved in with him since she was barely managing to keep up with the bills. She was sceptical with how easily he and the little terror get into a fight but he does love them all even if things get difficult at times. Not to mention she didn't want it to be a pitying offer, I explained the unlikeliness of that occurrence.
"Fawn! Shut it. Dinner is in two hours, you'll live until then." She probably just got in. Lyra will be at Brownie's for another hour, and it's likely Micah is napping.
"Tell her to behave or I won't give her the present I just bought for her improving act." She clearly hears me as stomping feet echo through the house all the way up to her room.
"Thanks for that." Leah's head pops up out of nowhere. She rests against the Boss Man's chest, and I see him relax. Honestly, I'm a touch envious knowing that I likely won't get that with being rejected by my supposed Mate and upcoming and past difficulties with dating.
"Gossip time!" Holly's hands smash together from the back of the crowd. They've set up the phone on a table and are all in front of it, swamping the room in a tight cluster.
A two hour long conversation about their new jobs and Uni classes nearly bores me out of my mind. I've been hearing the same stuff for years, Pickingrod is only slightly larger than Sheaspro.
When the clock ticks to six, I decide it is time to wrap up the call when the eldest couple state that they need to make something to eat before Fawn explodes. "Wait." They settle back down with the rest of them. "I really need to tell you something." It's now or never. "When I went to the Doctor's, I had to do a few tests. Clam down," all of their squinting eyes makes me laugh, "she's a Witch. Stop looking constipated."
"Thank fuck for that." Chris holds his chest which I can guess was hammering. "She found out why I've been sick..."
"Are you going to tell us?" Oliver moves forward, picking up on my hesitancy before the rest of them. "I think I know what course of action I want to take but still want your input."
"It would help if you told us what it is, Babes." Kitty shrinks back when I growl subconsciously. "I'm pregnant." There isn't an ounce of emotion in my tone. "The Bastard knocked you up?" Ant's hand pummels the table beside him, Roxy follows by running her fingers over his chest, only taming his furry by an inch.
"Close your gobs!" Oliver shouts at all of their grumbles and yells. I'm pleasantly surprised he can speak that loud. Their jaws clench in response to his dominance, even Chris. "We can't kill him, that look in her eyes is anything but blame or hatred. I'm fuming too, especially since he didn't even think to wrap up but this isn't what she asked for." They scoff at once, agreeing. "Will our opinion really make a difference?" I shrug at him. "If you want to keep it or get rid of it, that's your choice, Zoo. We'll support you no matter what. Just make sure you're one hundred percent."
"I am, Plolly. I know what I want to do but don't know if you'll all be able to handle it, especially Ant at this rate." I giggle. "You're keeping it, aren't you?" Rosie's lip twitches upwards. She's proud, a little concerned - I can feel it through the red vine without even thinking about it. "I am. It's kind of lonely here and I have always wanted a baby. I can take care of it, no problem. I'm primarily against abortion, and despite the circumstances, that isn't the baby's fault."
"Babes, you've made your decision, don't be concerned over us." They nod in unison, giving me tiny grins. "I'm going to be an Uncle!" Oliver starts clapping, the information fully sinking in. "Me too!" Car high fives him while the girls squeal about being Aunties.
They don't calm down for half an hour. Leah goes on a muffled tangent about raising a 'little one'. The group bicker about being Godparent's, seemingly forgetting that we're not Christian. I zone out less than five minutes in, letting them have their moments.
Eventually, I just hang up to get something to eat, wanting to feed the tiny being growing inside of me. It's fascinating how quickly I've fallen into caring about the baby. My hand presses against my stomach while swallowing down some leftover Roast Honey Chicken I whipped up last night on a whim. Things are going to change soon, for the better.