The woman's breathing became uneven and heavy over the course of 10 minutes. She told herself she wasn't going to cry but she was so angry.
"You okay?"
The woman huffed and released herself from Jacques.
"Did she have to go through what I went through with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"She's younger than me, did she get the silent treatment? Or did she get the Rihanna scares?"
The man just stared at the woman knowing she already had the answer.
"Did she?!"
"No."
Although the duo weren't technically together during the affair, they were together. The woman's pain comes from writing the letters, talking to Tarren about Travis, and holding his child. She could never go to long without thinking about or missing him. While the man was out having an affair.
Tears hadn't left the woman's eye just yet. She sat on the edge of the bed in silence for a moment before trailing into the bathroom.
She couldn't help but feel he didn't miss her. He couldn't even remember how many times they'd had sex. Which means it was far too many times.
Questions flooded through her head, questions only Travis could answer.
"Cyn please come out and talk to me." The man spoke through the door before opening it
"Did you use protection? Could she be pregnant? Were you two dating?"
The man hung his head down before looking up at the woman.
"We weren't dating."
"And the other questions?"
The man just looked away from the woman before turning back to her.
After almost a minute of silence the woman nodded her head before walking to the man.
She placed her hand on his chest in a fist before opening it. She couldn't look at his face. She stared at her hand for a moment before looking up at him.
"I can't forgive you." She looked away from him as a few years fell then wiped her face and left the bathroom.
She went to the closet and pulled the shoebox full of letters down from the top.
"One more to write." She smiled weakly at the man and let out a evenly weak laugh
The man leaned against the bed as she sat her vanity and began to write. He could only imagine what she was writing.
"My hookups with Kylie we're just that, hookups. Please don't leave me over this."
The man crept to the woman's side and read the letter as she wrote it. He snatched the paper from under her pen and crumpled it.
"Why are you writing this? Why are you saying your goodbyes to our child?"
The woman didn't answer, she just pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. She tapped on her vanity with the pen before she began writing.
"Cyn?! Answer me." The man tried to keep his voice down but found it hard
"Cyn!"
"What?! What do you want?! You're worse than Taison, at least I knew he didn't love me, you're making it all seem real but it's not. I got physical beatings with him, you emotionally beat me. I've been hurting for years. My parents, Taison and now you. I can't take anymore. I'm ready to go. But now I have a child so I have a responsibility to let her know that I love her."
The man just stared at the woman in slight disgust and sorrow. The woman turned to him and sniffled.
"You don't have to like it.... I'm damaged goods. I can't believe you love me or want me when things like that are going on....I'm not blaming you, trust me. I at my wits end."
The man still couldn't speak.
"What about me? What about our child and our future? We were gonna live together and be a family? What about that?" The man croaked out as his voice cracked
The woman shook her head slowly before grabbing her phone from the dresser.
"What about that?!" The man yelled as he walked toward Cyn
"What about that?!" He repeated
"What about it?! We can't be together! Do you know what we've been through in less than a year?!"
The woman's belly was pulsing with a light pain that was gettin more intense as she spoke.
She began taking deep breaths to calm the baby.
"Who said it was gone be easy to love eachother?..... you can't just tell me you're going to kill yourself."
"I've been fighting for love my entire life. Look where it got me. I don't want to keep trying. I've been trying to convince myself I'm worthy of love and that I'll be blessed in due time but.....even you moved on. The entire time I was away you were treating someone better than me, making someone else happy, and letting someone make you happy."
The woman gripped the dresser tightly and rubbed her belly. She was now more calm and trying to get the pulsing to die down.
"You left me. I thought you didn't want me anymore..... I mean you left. Why am I being torn apart? We're both to blame.....I should've come for you yes, but you shouldn't have left. I came back to you when I thought I was ready. I didn't want to push you away anymore....and I told you about Kylie with the confidence you'd understand. I didn't want to start again on lies."
The woman just stared up at the man.
"I'm not the only one to blame in this. Why do you look at us as a failure already? There should be no one to blame. We haven't gotten a year under our belts yet. We're trying to get to know eachother while trying to love eachother. Easy is far from what we have....."
The mans tone was low and sounded as if he was giving up.
"I want you. But if me being here is driving you to..... suicide.... then I'll leave."
The man soon broke his stare with the woman as he backed away from her.
The woman grabbed his hand and tugged on it lightly. The look in her eyes was lost and blue. Her hands shook slightly as the man turned to look at her.
The tears she'd been hiding from him finally fell and she shrugged.
"I just don't know what to do. I'm tired."
The man engulfed the woman in a hug and she hesitantly melted into him.
"You don't have to figure it all out on your own. I'm here. Stop pushing me away because you're scared. I'm trying to do right. If she's pregnant, I'll deal with that. My mess, I'll clean it. It's not for you to think about."
The woman nodded against his chest.
"Can we go see Tarren?"
"Now?"
The woman nodded again.
"It's 5am."
The woman shrugged against him.
"Get dressed warm princess."