I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what to do. I just kind of stood there and looked at Zoe, at a lack of words.
"I umm will meet you back at the apartment I guess," Zoe said awkwardly before quickly trying to get off the beach and away from me.
I didn't know what to do so I watched her leave. I would see her later that night at the apartment, but part of me felt like I wouldn't be able to even look at her.
I knew that her saying no to me didn't mean that she didn't love me, it just meant she wasn't ready for marriage yet, and I was okay with that. I mean I was okay with whatever made Zoe happy. Wasn't I?
The sun had set but I continued to walk down the beach lit by only a few lights from the street. After I had walked for a while I reached down and took my shoes off so my feet could sink into the cold sand. I liked the cool feeling on my rough feet.
It helped me to forget what had just happened. Well almost forget. Not completely.
She was just trying to be nice and not rush into things she wasn't ready for, but I couldn't help but think that she was rejected me.
I walked for about an hour before I pulled out my phone and called Marcus. I needed to talk to someone before I returned home and saw Zoe again. I didn't think I could handle it. In the moment I was in shock, so I wasn't crying, but I knew if I saw Zoe before talking to someone I would burst into tears, and I was not one to cry.
Marcus didn't answer so I left a message and headed towards his apartment. He didn't live too far away, and hopefully he was home and wasn't out and about partying. I didn't think he would be though considering that his family was here for Christmas.
That's when I remembered. Zoe had said this was shaping out to be one of her best Christmas' ever and I had probably just made it the worst Christmas for her. I felt terrible, but I tried to let everything go from my head as I headed towards Marcus.
I was just walking outside to see a friend and that was all. I hadn't just been rejected by a girl I love. And everything was just going so 'perfect.'
xxx