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(Switching to main p.o.v for a while )
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We planned the official first date a few days from the night he asked. The wedding was on Saturday so we had no choice but to go on Wednesday night. I was pathetically nervous. Ontop of that, we got married on Saturday. SATURDAY.
After my viewing, T'Challa's and I's interview went viral. Pictures of us were plastered everywhere. Even the Wakandan Newspaper had us on the cover of it. The headline read....
" I think something I'll be able to contribute to Wakandan society is realism - Harper Atsu "
I was getting tons of praise and approval from the citizens of Wakanda. The elders however, were still a bit skeptical but accepting. What made matters even more strange, is seeing a hologram of my interview posted above sky scrapers in the city like some advertisement. A shopping trip with Shuri made me realize just how advanced Wakanda was. The city was so futuristic and ahead of it's time, even the cars were different compared to Cai.
Each day heading towards the date I grew more anxious. I obsessed over little things like my hair and what I would wear. I'm sure Shuri grew tired of me asking for her opinion. T and I most of the coming days apart, only seeing one another at bed time. I was still shy about the bed sharing and he was the perfect gentleman. He'd always bid me a goodnight with a kiss to my cheek. And as far as the Nakia situation went, I saw her a few times but she was mostly occupied doing something else. It wasn't until I witnessed her drop a stack of papers that I made it my priority to help her. We both bent down to grab the papers. I grabbed them in a hurry, stacking them on top of each other and handing them to her. She took them before she snapped her round eyes to me and thanked me quietly. We stood up at the same time making eye contact. I stared at her for a few seconds before smiling kindly at her.
" We're having tea in the sun room with Romanda. You should come ", I suggest.
" Oh I've got to sort these papers and fill out some paperwork for my next mission. Thankyou for extending the invitation princess ", she held the papers close to her chest and walked away.
That was the last I saw of her for the week. Wednesday rolled around quickly. T wasn't there when I woke up so I had breakfast our room alone. I spent the day pep talking myself. When night rolled around I found myself obsessing in the mirror. Was my dress right ? Was my hair right ? Was my makeup too much ? I just didn't know. My dress was a top of the knee length little black dress with straps. I paired them with plain nude heels and I styled my hair into a low bun. My makeup was light with a light sheen of clear gloss. I wanted to keep it simple, but truthfully I was simple most times. Everything that I recently attained was something I was pressured into getting during my shopping trips. I usually would go for jeans and T-Shirt but here in Wakanda it was elegant gowns, mini dresses embroidered with jewels. Showing skin wasn't taboo here. Women were in tune with their bodies and what they wanted to wear.
Time was up, and T'Challa was heading up the stairs in our closet to get me. Each heavy footsteps caused a ping to go off in my stomach. When they stopped my stomach sank and I felt a presence behind me. I didn't move until I heard his deep raspy voice make his presence known.
" Ready to go, Entle ? ", he asks.
I slowly turn around in my vanity chair to look at him. He wore a kimono style top jacket with gold flowers on it, slacks, and leather shoes. He accentuated the gold on his jacket with gold jewelry. One thing I hadn't noticed before was just how massive his hands were. There were easily half the size of my face. I also noticed his shoulders. His shoulders went on for miles making him appear even bigger over my small frame.
" Yeah ", I stand up slowly and grab my purse that sat next to me. I saw him eyes travel up and down my body before they landed on my face. I start walking towards the stair case but I feel an arm encase my waist and pull me backwards. His warm hand press against my stomach and he keeps me pulled flush against his back. The fullness of his beard scraps against where my neck and shoulder meet. I close my eyes to keep from physically shivering until I feel something cold against my neck. I realized he had put a necklace on me. I bent my head down to see a beautiful diamond pendant necklace. It glistens and matches my dress.
" This is lovely T'Challa. Thankyou ", I smile at him resting the necklace against my chest.
" Do not mention it. I figured you would want something to finish your look. But you look beautiful. You always do ", he compliments me. I couldn't help the warmth that spread throughout my body when he said that.
" Well Thankyou. You don't look to bad yourself. I wish I had gotten something for you ", I frown.
" Chances are, I already have it. We should get going now, shouldn't we ? ", he suggests. I nod and he offers me his arm down the stairs. He escorts me to a vehicle outside and I noticed two Dora's were sitting towards the front of the long vehicle.
" So they go everywhere with you ? ", I ask.
" Unfortunately, most times yes. However, there are times I can dismiss them. Of course they are still under my fathers orders so they will only go so far. They accompany me on car rides but they aren't breathing down my throat every second like when I was a child long ago ", he explains.
" Well, at least you know that your people care about you and your well being ", I counter.
" Yes but I'm far from a boy now. I was given the role of Black Panther to protect and serve. Really the security is for my Father's piece of mind but the Dora's make excellent fighting partners. They are more so soldiers than bodyguards. Nevertheless, it's nice to know somebody has your back ", he explains.
" Absolutely ", I agree.
The car started moving and the darkness of outside engulfed us. I noticed how the jewelry in his hands glinted in the light. The warmth of his body heated radiated on the side of my exposed skin. I could see eyes on me and I turned my head to meet his. Somehow I can see his eyes through the darkness and I quickly snap my head forward.
" Where are we going ? ", I ask.
" You will see ", he soothed.
Pretty soon it wasn't long before I smelt ocean water. We approached the beach, tiny lights came into view and that's when I realized there was a huge boat on the water. I couldn't even call this a yatcht, more like a double mansion on water. I gasped lowly at it's massive size. Before I could process anything we were walking out of the car and heading towards the dock. We were followed by Dora's while we entered the ship. I noticed them stay at the entrance when we walked ahead.
" T'Challa this is.....", I was at a loss for words heading up a flight of stairs. When we got to the deck the air took my breath away. There was music and a huge empty dining hall. It looked like the restaurant could seat a lot of people but it was just us two. We sat smack dab in the middle of the restaurant, T'Challa insisting to pull my chair out.
" So...is this a tour ship ? Or like a cruise ship. It doesn't look like a cruise ship on the outside but on the inside it's so large like one ", I ramble.
" It's my vacation " boat " my father got it for me as a birthday gift not too long ago ", he smiled.
" Wow....you get boats as presents ? ", I chuckle.
" And you don't ? ", he flirted, knowing the answer. I rolled my eyes playfully and I noticed the deep chuckle that escaped past his lips as well.
" I get little lambs for my birthday ", I sigh.
" Lambs ? ", he looked at me strangely.
" Yes. My father got me a lamb for my birthday a couple months ago. His name is Oliver. I was kind of forced to leave him behind ", I frowned.
" Why were you forced to leave him ? Though I must say that it is very strange to have a pet lamb. We eat lambs here in Wakanda ", he explained.
" Oliver was very young, he was a baby. He makes a lot of messes and runs and falls all over the place. He's the most uncoordinated little thing but he's just a joy. He would have been a lot to deal with in the palace, especially to the elders. Nobody wants to deal with something so loud and rambunctious unless it's a crying baby ", I mutter.
" I'd sadly have to agree. The older people around the palace would surely look at him strangely. They don't really like animals all that much expect for the rhinos of course, and those surely aren't pets. We mostly use them for battle and crops ", he explains.
" Rhino's ? ", I ask.
" Yes. The boarder tribe cares for them ", he adds.
" Wow. So you don't use dogs for pets here ? Or maybe cats ? ", I ask.
" Well, some people do others just work their animals and keep them outside. Animals prefer to be outside anyways instead of cramped up into a tight space. Some Wakandan's do have pets though, it's just not trendy here ", his eyes wonder to my lips and back up to my eyes. He hadn't really kissed me since the viewing last week. It felt wrong to go a day without it. When he realized I didn't have anything to say he called the waiter over.
I ordered a cold beverage and so did he. I found myself fiddling my new necklace in thought. T'Challa checked his Kimoyo while I sipped away at the random thing I ordered. I didn't know I zoned out so hard until his voice called for my attention.
" You still aren't very comfortable with me. The way you fidget, it's anxiousness. ", he accused.
" What ? ", I blurt.
" I suppose it's a good thing. It's means you care about what I think of you. And if you care about what I think of you then it must mean that you care about me, and I you.", he elaborates.
" I've known you since I was little. Of course I care about you . ", I look down shyly.
" I raise awareness to it, because we are to be married this coming weekend. That's only four days from now. ", he reminded me.
" I know, I know ", I felt my stomach jump.
" How do you feel about that ? ", he asks.
" I'm not sure how to feel about it. I feel nervousness, relief, fear, happiness, sadness. I feel a lot of things .", I sigh.
" Where does that sadness come from ? ", his deep eyes zeroed in on me and I suddenly froze. He waited until I was ready to answer the question.
" I feel sadness because I always thought that planning a wedding was something I'd do with my mother. Neither of my parents have talked to me since I left, and in a way I feel discarded ", I mumble.
" Ready to order ? ", the waiter popped up on us last minute. T'Challa waved the waiter away when he saw the tears glisten in my eyes.
" I wish I could make it better for you Entle. Perhaps I will call them -", I cut him off.
" If they really wanted to, they could be here on the next flight. My mother always told me, that you can't make people do what they don't want to. If they felt a way about me, they'd be here. Being mutated didn't even make them come back. They don't want to come, so they aren't and that's okay. I have to come to terms with the fact that my life was bargained. I was looked at as a business deal my whole life and not a young girl. I was a burden, there's no sugar coating that. It's not okay right now but it will be...you know why ? ", I ask him.
" Why ", he says.
" Because.....I have you. So I'll be okay ", I admit.
" And you can take that in any way you want to. I'm just relived that it's you and not somebody who doesn't give a hoot about me. And I don't want you to think that I'm settling for you either. I really am happy with the outcome, I just wished that things with my parents were better so that I wouldn't be stuck in an endless cycle of self doubt and wondering why things are the way they are. In conclusion I think it's better that I'm away from them as much as possible. I don't need that around me .", I sighed.
" I'm happy that our paths crossed. However your father -your parents rather...deserve to know how you feel. Even if it doesn't change anything, they deserve to know. This pain you feel isn't just yours own to hold onto. Your father did what he did, let him share the guilt too. You never asked for any of this. You never asked to be an after thought. You are a grown woman now Harper, you deserve to express yourself. You owe it to yourself ", he ranted passionately and I felt his hand in mine across the table.
" That's one thing my Baba always taught me. Never be afraid to stand up for yourself. Never be afraid to speak your mind. It doesn't make you weak. It's the ones who can't say a thing, those are the ones who should be questioned. ", he encouraged.
" I'm the person that doesn't say a thing ", I chuckled.
" You told me. Now you just have to tell them. ", he insisted.
" Well....they should be here on the wedding day. Not necessarily the perfect ideal timing but I'll take what I can get .", I joke.
" Hungry ? ", he asks.
" Starving .", I exaggerate.
We ate dinner which was accompanied by him telling me some hilarious childhood stories. He was a funny kid growing up, always getting into things. I didn't have much to tell him. I did however, tell him funny stories of my brother and I fighting. I just enjoyed his company, plain and simple. It was amazing that it could simply BE that simple. There was no catch to him. He was a solid man that cared about me and that was enough for me right about now.
After dessert he insisted that we walk up the the top deck for a better view of the water. He grabs my hand and we walk outside. It was slightly windy out but not cold. The black waves were mesmerizing and Wakanda had so many stars. We found a place to sit on the deck. This had been our second time star gazing together. His arms encased me into his side. I let my anxiousness go and leaned into him, resting my head on his chest. The boat started moving and the wind picked up.
" I just want you to know, that it's important to me that you find yourself while your here. I won't control you like you were controlled at home but there are some boundaries and you know this. No control unless that's what you want from me ", he confessed.
Truthfully, control from T'Challa didn't sound like a bad thing.
" You think I need to find myself ? ", I ask.
" Absolutely. You have no idea who you are yet, at least not fully. That's not necessarily good for a relationship but our lives are anything but ordinary. You haven't reached your full potential, you haven't experienced much. Driving in fast cars thrills you. Every now and then I get glimpses of what you could be, I see it peak out. You're destined to be a woman who's asserted in her position and exudes confidence but that will call for trial and error. It's takes time to be who you want. You'll get there, but you won't get there any sooner by being worried and concerned with Nakia's approval of our union ", he explains.
" W- ", I look up at him quizzically.
" I saw you pick up her papers and invite her to the sun room. I was walking towards the kitchen for lunch and I was about to ask you to join me when I saw you two. Trust me when I say, that if Nakia wanted to go she would be there before you. The papers she was holding were not her responsibility. She just wanted a reason to walk past my office and see me. I know her spy games. Now I'm not saying that she's a bad person, but you can't let her see you sweat. Trying to be sugary sweet to her will not win her over if that's what you truly want. You have to be sure in every decision you make. It will earn you respect with not only her, but many people and elders around the palace ", he elaborated.
" What makes you think I want her approval. What makes you think - ", he cuts me off.
" How often do you see a wife to be, invite her fiancés ex girlfriend to tea ? It's very obvious you want things to go smoothly but that's not how life is. Life is rarely conflict free, Mnandi. ", he sighed.
" I just don't want her to be hurt ", I explain.
" Pain is inevitable. We were broken up before you even arrived and for good reason. We are not as compatible as I thought and that's okay. It's okay to come to an end of a relationship, it's okay to move on, and it's okay to be happy with someone else. It's our given right. I'm not disrespectful to her, I don't drag her along, I don't even carry on conversation for longer than necessary. At this point I can't do anything but let her go through the motions. How she feels, I cannot control. Our breakup was mutual to begin with. No amount of lemon tea will fix what is broken. No matter how many times you smile her way or pick her papers up, she will still feel the way she feels. It's best that you pay her no mind. I try my best not to be classist but you are about to be Royalty Entle. It is not in your place to search for her approval when she should be in search of yours, and I mean that in the kindest way. The way she feels is not your problem. ", he rants.
" You just know everything, don't you ? ", I retort.
" Not everything of course, but I know a lot from experience. You'll have to develop slightly thicker skin. With Royalty comes becoming a public figure. I know you didn't ask for it but this is how it is. I just wouldn't be able to stand people taking advantage of you or being disrespectful towards you when you've done nothing but show respect to my culture and to my people. I don't want YOU to be hurt. ", he further explains. Instead of responding I press my hand to his cheek staring into his orbs. I feel the space between us close and he kisses me.
This kiss was more urgent than our last ones. There was a tinge of aggressiveness in him which made me grab the front of his jacket to pull him closer. I felt warm large hand press against my exposed thigh and I jump from the feeling, looking down see how his touch ignited my skin. His lips find my ear and I clasped my hand ontop of his when I feel him squeeze my thigh. I couldn't help the small yelp that escaped my lips when he nipped at my skin. The urge to part my legs wider became stronger but I pull away to bring us both down to earth.
" These are trying times for us, now more than ever. I'm trying my best to keep this engagement period wholesome but you.....you are a sight ", he chuckled.
" I could say the same about you, but's it's not like I'd know where to begin ", I laugh nervously realizing I accidentally referenced my virginity. I regretted it immediately after.
" You will soon ", he spoke lowly, pulling away from me. I wanted to know just how far that statement went. I didn't want to keep working him up so I closed my mouth. There was no use in grabbing one another when nothing could be done for now, but the tension between us was growing to uncomfortable measures. Simple gestures were amplified, every word that left his lips hit my core. It wasn't long before whatever that brewed between us exploded and that alarmed me. Apart of me felt guilty for feeling that way so soon, especially when the words "I love you " hadn't been muttered yet.
We went back home and finally watched the second volume of " Kill Bill ". I found myself watching for his reaction more so than watching it for myself. It came to the part where Beatrix snatches Elle's eye out. She screams and falls all over the demolished bathroom floor screaming " I'll get you " followed with a slew of profanities. T'Challa didn't even flinch but rather started laughing deeply.
" You find this comical ? ", I chuckle.
" Absolutely. The way she flailing her arms, blind in fury and unable to do anything about it. It amuses me. It reminds me of my fights with Shuri when I was younger, I use to tape her eyes shut and she'd wake up angry trying to get me because she knew I was the culprit. Needless to say- she lost ", he reminisced.
" You are quite the torturer aren't you? ", I raise a brow at him.
" You don't know the half of it Entle ", his smile dropped to a smirk.
" Are you telling me that the hero of Wakanda has a dark side ? I was not expecting you to enjoy a movie like this ", I joke.
" Everybody does. Even you ", he chimed. I leaned back in my seat and continued watching the movie.
I watched him on crucial parts of the movie like when Beatrix meets her daughter, or when she finally kills the father of her child. Everytime I watched the movie it felt like the first time and the aesthetic of it was so pleasing. I wasn't sure why I kept the movie so dear to my heart when there wasn't anything that was sentimental about it until the end. I think I loved it because it was a vessel for my anger. The anger and resentment I felt for my parents was not something I could openly express. Seeing movies where the woman fights back empowered me and entertained me. It made me want to be stronger and gather a strength I didn't have until now. Now if I wanted to, I could do a dozen backflips in the air during a fight because of my new capabilities. The world could be my oyster, at least ONE day.
T'Challa expressed how funny the movie was to him and how he hadn't seen anything like it before. I'm sure it was funny to someone who fought in their sleep but I was glad he liked it. I didn't regret sharing it with him at all. For some reason it meant a lot to me that he enjoyed the film as I did. It wasn't like I made the film, but I felt that if he didn't like it then I surely wouldn't like him.
We got ready for bed after our date. Before bed I expressed my appreciation of how thoughtful the date was. Nobody had done anything like that for me before and his creativity warmed my heart. A kiss goodnight was followed by a deep sleep.
The night before the wedding....
" Luckily we won't need to do any more adjustments to it. You made the perfect choice. ", said Romanda. I twirled around in the mirror looking at the dress I soon would have to slip off. This was my final fitting for it. I had been eating like a rabbit, keeping my salt levels low until the wedding. T'Challa and I were separated two nights ago for good luck.
" Well now that we've got that part out of the way, I'll send you to the spa. Everything is in place, don't you worry about a thing. I want you to de-stress before the big day ", Romanda pushed me out of the room and sent two guards to escort me to my destination.
I'd been to plenty of spa's but I was never a fan of mud baths. They insisted it was great for the skin. A couple facials and hair masks later I found myself on a waxing table. By choice of course, but it wasn't something I was thinking of before now. I was waxed from head to too and even in places that I didn't know hair grew. They plucked my eyebrows and even trimmed the ends of my hair. A manicure and pedicure finished off my extensive amount of preparation.
I had spent so much time inside the spa that I missed dinner. I had a some fruit and soup sent to my room instead. I really wanted a heavy meal but this meal would have been worth it had I gotten to lay with T'Challa. I noticed it was hard to sleep without him and I was plagued with nightmares when he wasn't around. I fell asleep in my room while T'Challa slept somewhere else in the palace. I stared at the ceiling all night. I eventually fell asleep for a few hours. I woke up around 3 in the morning. My throat was dry so I made my way down to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
As I walked down the hall with my fuzzy pinky slippers I approached the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of water and drank from it before setting it inside the sink to be washed by the servant. Once hydrated, I walked back into my room only to be pulled into an office when I turned the corner. Before I could scream a hand slipped over my mouth.
" Challa ! ", I slapped his chest and he let out a deep soft chuckle. My body was flush against his and I could smell the intoxicating body wash that clung to his skin. He was warm, hard, and comforting. I didn't realize how much I missed him until now.
" They've caged me in like an animal on the other side of the palace, keeping me busy. They really thought they could keep the beauty of out of the claws of the beast ", he teased, playfully picking me up and spinning me around the room over his shoulder. A loud laughter left my lips but he shushes me, pushing me against a long couch that aligned the office wall.
" I've had three nightmares ! ", I spoke in a hushed tone.
" I know. Come here ", he laid down, opening his arms to receive me. There was a blanket thankfully, so he wrapped us up inside of it. I rested my head against his broad chest. I let out a long sigh of relief.
" Stay here until 7 in the morning. Then sneak back to our room. Romanda will come for you around 8 sharp. I know how she is ", he said. I nodded lazily and fell asleep alongside him. I was finally able to get a full night's rest. In the morning T'Challa woke me up so that I could go back to the room. She was there on time, just as T said.
" Rise and shine Harper ", a voice sung from behind me until the drapes to the room were opened. I was blinded with the light from the sun. It was perfectly sunny outside, not a cloud in sight.
" Guess who's here ?! ", Romanda gushed.
" Who ", I raised an eyebrow at her, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
" Your parents ! ", she smiled.
My stomach dropped.
End of chapter 6