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Kaplan.
"Kaplan, just stay here while I get the other student." Mr. Darcy, the principle, tells me. I shrug and walk behind his desk to sit in his giant chair. I mock him, pretending there is another student in here and they are in trouble.
I laugh to myself and put my feet up on the corner of his cherry wood desk. The phone rings in his office and I answer it. "Mr. Nipples sex ed, how may I help you?" I say in a fake Italian accent.
"Um is this Leon Darcy's office?" A stuffy lady asks. I quietly laugh and grab a rubber band ball that was sat on the desk.
"Oh yes. He is busy at the moment but he will be finished soon?" I make a smack noise with the rubber band and yelp as if someone just got smacked. I hear the woman gasp and I hold my hand over my mouth to hide my laughter.
Before she can answer Mr. Darcy walks in and glares at me. "Oh. Here he is now." I hand him the phone and walk back over to my original seat. The other student, Booker Riley, stands at the door with wide eyes.
"I'm sorry about her. I will have to call you back later. I'm busy with some students." He hangs up the phone and glares at me. "Do you realise what you could have done Kaplan? I could have gotten fired." He stands up and paces back and forth.
"No!" I gasp over dramatically. "I didn't even think about that." I say sarcastically and he points his finger in a 'warning' way. "Can I go now?" I raise my eyebrows and stand from my seat.
"No. Sit down now." He growls and I cross my arms over my chest. "Now." He says more sternly. I laugh when the other kid rushes to sit down. I got my amusement so I sat down as well. "Okay, Kaplan tell me what happened with you, I'm pretty sure you had something to do with Booker as well." He glares at Booker.
"I keyed Hansel and Gretel's car." I roll my eyes and Darcy sighs in frustration. I smirk at that and he shakes his head.
"I want full on details." He demands and I roll my eyes again.
"They were being obnoxious so I keyed their precious trams am." I make a face of disgust and Mr. Darcy sighs again. "They didn't even know it was me so why am I here?" I groan and Darcy silences me. He points to Booker and I mute him.
I have seen this kid around school. Everyone thinks he is a hot bad boy but he isn't. He definitely isn't the nicest kid but he isn't a bad boy either. I bet he is afraid to do half the stuff I do. We have spoken on several occasions and he is such an ass, but a scared little ass.
"Well both of you messed up, I'm giving you each sixteen hours of community service. Kaplan if you charge anyone money I will suspend you." He catches my smirk and pinches the bridge of his nose while closing his eyes.
"Are there any other options?" Booker asks. Darcy glares at him and I grab my shoulder bag and walk out. Booker leaves too but walks the same way I do. "Wait Kaplan." He calls for me. I turn around with an arched eyebrow and he looks away.
"What." I demand and he looks back at me.
"Do you know what Mr. Darcy wants us to do for CS?" He asks timidly. I chuckle and continue walking. He follows.
"It doesn't make you cool if you abbreviate stuff that shouldn't be abbreviated. Darcy never said we had to do anything together so we won't. You have fun coming up with ideas on your own." I dismiss him and walk into the girls bathroom.
I tie my blue hair up again into a big bun and tie my black bandana around my head. The bow sticks to the side of my head and I smile at how good my hair looks. I grab my black sunglasses and walk out of the bathroom. I walk to the parking lot, seeing my beautiful black mustang right in my view.
I unlock the doors and buckle in. Setting my bag on the passenger seat, I turn the key, hearing the beautiful purr of my car start. I turn on my album and turn the bass up, rolling the windows down when I see Macy walking home.
"Hey." I smile at her and she gets in the car. We sing along to the soundtrack and ignore people staring at us at stop lights. I pull up to the side of her house and shut my car off. I grab my bag and lock the doors.
We walk inside her house and immediately get greeted by her mom. She gushes and tells us how beautiful we look. Macy tells her about her day at school while I grab my books.
I sit at the counter and listen in on their kitchen gossip, while finishing up my homework. I smile at how well Macy and her mom get along. They are so alike, it's as if they're twin sisters. Putting aside the fact that Macy's mom is like fifty.
"Kaplan, how was your day?" She switches to me and I smile. "I'm so proud of you doing your homework right after school. I wouldn't know what that looks like." She playfully glares at her daughter while I laugh.
"I do it right when I come home but I do it in my room." Something about that sentence makes me laughs. She elbows my stomach and mentally scolds me and my dirty mind.
"That's why you have a C in Mr. Henries class?" Her mom challenges and I laugh even harder.
"Better then having a D." I joke and Macy gasps, widening her eyes at my inappropriate joke. I laugh at her reaction and start to finish my English homework.
"I guess that's true. Kaplan you always see the good in things." I laugh loudly but cover my mouth with my hand. Macy laughs as well and her mom furrows her eyebrows but continues to make Kool-Aid.
"Well I have to go. I'm pretty sure Cyrus is home from school." I say once I finish my English homework. I say my byes to Macy and her mom then walk out to my car. I am about to drive away but I see that Booger kid walking. I laugh and turn on the music again.
I turn my car around and drive past him, down the street.
~
"Cyrus?" I call once I get inside. I walk upstairs and set my bag down on my bed and wait for any response. I plop on my bed and scream her name as loud as I can. Still no answer.
What a big shock there.
I sigh and stand up. I walk downstairs and plop on the couch. That 70's Show plays on the TV when I turn it on. After the third episode, I get up and make some noodles for my dinner, seeing the note on the fridge from my dad.
*Kaplan, don't do anything stupid while we are away. Love dad.*
I nearly laugh. I rip the note up and hear a high pitched scream. I shut all of the lights off and the TV. Laughing hysterically, almost in tears, I get behind the couch.
I'm taking a wild guess but it sounds like Mr. Kim found the stuffed dog, I ripped the head off and put red food colouring all over, that I placed in his backyard this morning, before school. I expect him to come over here any time now.
A loud thud is heard on my front door and I laugh even harder. I hold my hand over my mouth when he starts to yell through the door in Russian. He really thinks anyone can understand him? He is dumber than he gives out.
I laugh and walk to my back door. I was still laughing, sliding the glass door open and walking to the table near the backyard set. I pulled the purple lighter out of my pocket and grabbed one of the firecrackers I left on the table. It caught the flame of the lighter and I quickly threw it over to Mr. Kim's backyard. A loud screech came and then a bunch of crackles.
My laughter comes more when I hear him throw his wooden gate opened and screaming. His hose turns on and I laugh even harder when white baby powder blows out before the water.
He yells again and I run back inside. I grab my phone and car keys quickly before the cops can get here. I locked the front door and quickly lit another fire cracker, tossing that one into his living room window as a distraction so I can drive away.
He runs to his living room as I pull away from my house. I drive around the block a few times just to see the tiny man bang on my door and scream at my upstairs window.
Once he goes inside to call the cops, I'm guessing, I drive to Macy's house. She is going to laugh so hard when I tell her about what I did.
I was laughing the whole drive to her house. I'm sure the strangers at stop lights actually felt the psychotic radiating out of my car.
I park across the street from her house and lock my doors when I get out. I walked towards her front door and knocked. No time later, her dad opens the door and greets me with a friendly hug. He invites me in and I walk upstairs to Macy's room.
When I open the door, homework papers and books are scattered across her bed. She is sitting up against the head board and concentrating on the packet on her lap. I look to the side and see Booger from Darcy's office sitting at her desk.
"Macy?" I ask ignoring the doofus. She looks up and smiles at me. "You don't have anything sharp on you, right?" I know she gets mad sometimes when I pull pranks on 'innocent' people.
Mr. Kim is not innocent and he is barely a person.
"No . . ." She looks around and then holds up her pencil. "I have this?" I grab it just in case she decides to get creative. "What's going on?" She chuckles and I pace back and forth in excitement.
"Mr. Kim found the gore in his backyard, he screamed like a girl. He came over and pounded on my door but I went to the back and threw my firecracker in his backyard right." I laugh again at the memory. "He got mad and tried to put it out but then my other prank happened and he freaked out again." I ramble and she sighs. "No wait! Then I ran away but I threw a firecracker in his living room and he freaked out again. He pounded on my door for so long before he finally had it. He called the cops again, I think?" I laugh and she stands up.
"Why must you mess with him?" I can tell she wanted to laugh but she didn't for the sake of that horrid man. "It was funny when you were younger but now it's just borderline vandalism." She ties her hair up and I laugh more.
"What did I vandalise?" I scoff and she raises her eyebrows at me. Am I supposed to know that answer? . . .
"I don't know? Well didn't you say you ripped the head off of his daughters teddy bear this morning? And you put red food colouring all over it?" She stands next to Booger. He ignores us thankfully but he looks like he wants to say something.
Better keep that god damned mouth closed.
"Yeah so? His daughter left it in my moms car a million years ago. Technically it no longer is her possession." I laugh and Macy shakes her head with a smile.
"It just seems wrong to . . . harass an innocent man." She grabs a stack of papers, finally fulfilling her purpose of standing next to Booger.
"Should I leave?" He asks. Macy says 'no' the same time I say 'yes'. I glare at her and she tells him it's fine to stay, when I disagree very much. Macy and her damn kindness.
"Oh! My manners. Do you know Kaplan, Booker?" She asks him and he nods his head with a shrug of his shoulders. "Oh so you guys are already friends?" She focuses on her papers but takes a quick look at me, then Booker.
"No." I state and watch as Macy's curious face turns to confusion. "Darcy called him in the office during my visit." I roll my eyes and she shakes her head again.
"Or your final expulsion." Booger says under his breath. Macy looks at me and begs me not to respond but I ignore her.
"I'm sorry, am I interrupting Boogers tutor time," I mock a pouty face and Booger stands up to face me.
"It's Booker." He corrects as I roll my eyes at how bold he is acting. "And no, I can leave whenever." He is so annoyed. I love it.
"Then leave." I challenge and watch his jaw tense. Macy steps forward and laughs away the tension. She escorts Booger to leave and I clear all of her papers off the bed to lay on it.
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Just an intro to the actual story.
I'm just updating this chapter, for anyone who wants to, I made an Instagram for NEON, so if you want you can follow (@thosediimples) I am gonna post cover stories and edits and all that good stuff :)