FOB in Bagram, Afghanistan
Groaning, I lower the metal barbell which has a 20kg weight plate on each side and clench my jaw as I push the bar up and back onto the rack. I wipe my brow with the back of my hand and push myself up into a sitting position on the bench. People think that us soldiers fight continuously non-stop but in reality we do get some breaks. Command Sergeant Major Shuster recommends that when we soldiers aren't fighting or being called out, we should work out and train. Right now I'm stationed in a forward operating base but it won't be long until I get sent out. Words already got around that a large number of us will be sent out in order to complete a variety of missions. We don't just go out there and kill, we get assigned a mission. The sun beams down through the gap of the tent warming my already sweaty skin. Squinting, I look out of the gap and look at all the other soldiers, good mates of mine doing various things. A couple of guys are playing cards on a broken wooden table, some girls are playing basketball and then there's soldiers who are getting ready to go out and fight. A bead of sweat rolls off my nose and I wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. Heat. The weather here is ridiculous, I should be used to the heat but I'm sweating like a whore in church.
"Sup Britt" A deep voice says and I look over to see my best bud Joe. He's wearing his tanned t-shirt that fits snuggly against his muscular frame, ACU combat trousers and creamed magnum panther boots. When we are off duty we don't have to wear our whole uniform.
"Becker" I say with a smirk. In the army it is common for people to always call you by your last name because it's easier to remember their surnames. It's sort of professional as well but myself and my buddies always address each other by our first names. He chuckles and steps into the tent knowing I called him by his last name as a joke.
"Only benching 60?" He says with a teasing smile.
"I've got no one to spot me dumbass, I don't want to hurt myself. Besides it's more than you can bench" I say with a laugh and he feigns hurt which makes me laugh even more. I get up from the bench and grab a 10kg weight plate and put it on the right end of the barbell. Joe grabs the other and puts it on the left side of the barbell. I go back to the bench and Joe stands behind me hands floating under the barbell just in case.
"You need a lift off?"
"Nope, got this" I say as I position myself, putting my hands in the right place on the bar. Its only 90kg all together, I've lifted much more than that. Maintaining a high fitness level is important in the army. Inhaling deeply I lift the bar off the rack and keep it steady in the air for about 3 seconds before bringing it down to my chest and pushing it back up again. I repeat that for about 5 more reps and then the burning in my chest really heightens. I groan and rest the barbell on my chest for a second before pushing the barbell up with the help of Joe and bring it back onto the rack. I sit up and stretch my arms out trying to ease the burning pain in my deltoids and pectoral muscles.
A female soldier walks by who I recognise as Amy Carr and smiles flirty at me. She has chestnut hair with blonde highlights which is up in a ponytail, dazzling green eyes that always seemed to sparkle, light skin and a beautiful smile. I smile because knowing Joe who's behind me is going to try the moves on her.
"Hey Sergeant" she says with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes. I smile at her and get off the bench.
"Morning private Carr" I say politely, since I'm a sergeant I uphold some professionalism and so I tend to call other soldiers by their ranks. Unlike Joe here.
"Hey Amy, wanna bench press with us?" He says with a tiny smirk and a charming smile. I shake my head slightly and contain my smile at the sight of Amy looking from me wearing a smile then to Joe with an uninterested look.
"Uh no thanks, just stopped by to say hello" She states then looks at me with a smile about to walk off but not before saying good bye. "Bye Sergeant" she says looking at me with a smile then Joe clears his throat a little and she looks to him. "Becker" she says and walks off. As soon as she's out of sight I start to laugh and Joe shakes his head.
"She's so hot!"
"Yeah and totally not into you" I say as I take position behind the rack ready to spot Joe.
"She's just playing hard to get, I know she wants me" He says with a tone of certainty and playfulness. I roll my eyes and meet his eyes with a raised eyebrow.
"Think what you want Joey boy"
After a few more exercise that consist of some squats, Bicep curls and military press we call it and go to freshen up. I share a tent with the Staff Sergeant Bill Duffy and my buddy Corporal Joe Becker. Normally they don't really put the males and females together in a same tent but they allowed me after knowing about my condition. I was born with a penis instead of a vagina so you know that sort of a turn off towards the men. I'm gay so, and I'm with my pals so. Walking over to my cot I sit down and reach for a tanned t-shirt and put on my fatigues considering that it is time to go and eat. We have to look respectful when we eat or are in training but when we are off duty i.e. doing sports, laying around or anything like that we can wear some cammie's and a tanned or grey army top.
I head over to the meal tent and walk in to see many faces. It may sound weird but I actually like this, all of us being here together, it sort of feels like a family. One big soldier family. I walk past the SMA (sergeant major of the army) and nod my head at him with a smile.
"Sergeant major" I say and he looks at me and smiles whilst holding his cup full of water.
"Sergeant"
Everyone here makes little greetings like that, it's just politeness and helps people get by. I walk over to the line of hungry soldiers and grab a tray from the pile and wait to be served. As soon as it's my turn I walk with my tray and scan the variety of foods in front of me. Food in the army can go two ways, it tastes okay or it tastes so bad you need to mouthwash twice to get the rancid taste out of your mouth. But since we are at a base the food doesn't come from a MRE, so I should be okay. I look up at a chef from the ACC (Army Catering Corps).
"Hmm, can I get the chicken fajita please" I say and the chef dressed in a white uniform with a beret placed on their head places a chicken fajita on my tray. We are entitled to a main course, a side snack, dessert, a beverage and some sauce. The chef puts a cracker with some spread on my plate and I Scan the puddings. There's blackberry jelly or a sugar cookie. "A sugar cookie and some tropical punch please" after I've got my dinner I grab my tray and walk to a table where I see my buddy Joe. I walk up to the table and lay down my tray, looking around the table there's about 20 people seated all munching away. I get greeted by a lot of them and I sit down.
"Chicken fajita? Nice" Joe says as he shovels a spoonful of spaghetti into his mouth. I chuckle and rip open the cheese sauce and spread it over my cracker. Being honest some of the food that we get here isn't that bad. I take a bite of my cracker and then switch to my fajita. Small conversations are going on with different people, I look at Joe.
"We've got a briefing with the sergeant major about our next mission" I say casually as I munch on my fajita. Joe looks at me and nods as he sips on his grape beverage. We know when we walk into that office filled with other soldiers and Sergeants that are in charge of other groups of people we are given orders to go out and kill.
"About time Britt, we've been here for what? A week." Joe says with a mouthful of food. I grimace playfully and shut his mouth.
"Don't talk with your mouthful Corporal" I say with a teasing smile and he laughs heartedly. I smile because I love his laugh, it's one of those laughs where they make you laugh and it just makes me smile. He is a really great guy if you can get passed the fact that sometimes he's a bit of a pig. I look back down to my meal and pick at my cookie.
"Serge, you playing poker with us later?" Private First Class Ryan Emerson asks sitting 4 men down from me asks. I look at him and pretend to think it through.
"Hell yeah, get ready to lose" I say with a wink. He laughs and starts up a conversation with some guys on the poker game going down tonight. Who doesn't love a good game of poker? Besides I love kicking their asses. I feel someone nudge me and look at the culprit. He points at Joe with a snicker and I look at him to see him staring at Amy Carr walking by with another female. Joe who's following their every movement with his eyes watches them till they're out of his sight. I shake my head and click my fingers in front of his face which snaps him out of the trance.
"What? Huh?" he says dreamily.
"Go and Talk to her. I think she'd appreciate that more than you staring at her" I say and I take a bite out of my sugary cookie. I hum at the taste of the sweet dessert and look at Joe who's licking his lips. "What?" I ask and he eyes my cookie.
"Can I have some of your cookie?" he asks with hope in his eyes and a smile. I crush his spirits and take another bite. "Please, this jelly tastes like shit!" he exclaims as he pokes the nasty looking jelly with his plastic spoon. I shrug and look at him with a wicked smile.
"That's not my problem. Why'd you choose the jelly anyway? The cookies are so much better" looking like I'm about to take another bite he groans and I laugh. I roll my eyes and give him the cookie. "There!" he smile like a child on Christmas day and shuts his eyes as he takes a bite. I can't blame him, that cookie was seriously delicious.
It was about 2 hours later the sun began to set. I watched with an unwavering gaze, as the fiery red orb of light slowly sank beneath the horizon, and threads of light lingered in the sky, mingling with the rolling clouds, dyeing the heavens first orange, then red, then dark blue, until all that was left of the sunset was a chalky mauve, and then that melted away in turn as stygian darkness took over the sky. I love watching the sunset, it was something that I and my dad used to do every day, and it gave us something to talk about. Still staring at the sky ahead of me I hear footsteps approach and get closer and closer to me. I don't have to turn around to know who it was, I know exactly what he's going to say to me as well.
"I take it that it's time?" I say nonchalantly. Joe clears his throat a little and scuffs his boot against the sand. I inhale deeply and turn around standing tall.
"Let's go and see what mission is in store for us now shall we?" I say leading the way to the SMA's tent.
Inside there is a large amount of people waiting to find out what mission they've been set. I takes a seat next to Joe and another guy and looks at the SMA. He is wearing his class a uniform and stands out amongst all of us.
"Listen up, we've got some problems regarding the enemy activity around base. I'm going to have some you on patrol and I'm sending some of you out to do a particular mission." He says with his hands behind his back and has a stoic face. Looking from all of the soldiers he nods to himself and clicks a little button and a screen comes down from behind him. Images of streets, villages, buildings appeared on the screen. "Sergeant Donnelly and Staff Sergeant McKinney you and your groups will work together and assigned to check all buildings and eliminate any threats. We are looking for any equipment, dismantle any IED's and check for explosives. You start tomorrow morning" The men and their groups nod their head and say "Yes Sir". I wonder what mission me and my group will get, Patrolling is quite boring but a lot safer than going out into villages. SMA Mercer dismisses them and it leaves about 25 of us. I guess other people got assigned to their jobs already, probably doing night patrol.
"There is a base nearby, it is guarded but not heavily. There have been spotting's of a missile and other weapon activity. Staff Sergeant First class Peters you and your group are headed there tomorrow." He says pointing to the screen where there is a large brick wall which is guarded by two Taliban's wearing balaclavas around there face and holding a rifle. SMA clicks the remote and it switches to another photo taken from a different angle which shows that there is a Humvee with an extremely large missile in the back of it. The special gunfire server (the person who gets up close to the enemy and reports back what they see) took a photo showing multiple weapons in crates and more Taliban's. "This is a big mission here soldiers, I want you all to work together, okay dismissed" 19 of them get up and leave, leaving me and my group sitting in the metal chairs waiting to receive our mission.
"Last but not least" He says with a formal smile. I like him, he's not an ass like some of the others around here. "The mission I have assigned to you is..." He clicks and a secluded village appears on the screen. There's old buildings, grimy roof with broken tiles, windows staring down, remnants of shattered glass in rotting wooden frames, mortar and stone crumbling, invasive vegetation in walls, black and empty doorways, graffiti, garbage, used syringes, stink of urine, ghosts of the past. Burned out car with half melted tires, charred and black inside, metal of frame exposed, back blown out where petrol tank exploded. I raise my eyebrows and look at the image on the screen, I've seen worse but this village looks pretty bad. I've already spotted multiple places for enemy's to hide and shoot. "Just bunch of Derelict buildings, that's not all. This village is held under captive, Taliban's are holding kids, woman and men hostage in these houses. You need to get them to a refugee camp In Asadabad." I frown and shake my head a little interrupting him.
"Sir, don't you think that's a bad idea? We've seen first-hand what the Taliban's do to the people in those camps." I say and Joe chimes in backing me up.
"Sergeant Pierce is correct sir, they place bombs in the children's toys, not to forget that they chop women's hands off for their jewellery" it's true, In Iraq we had to raid a refugee camp and the damage that was caused there was unfixable. Children's bodies were piled up on top of each other with a white sheet just thrown over them and parents were forced to work. There's no way I'm sending these people to a refugee camp.
"What do you recommend sergeant?" SMA asks me. Pursing my lips I think about the location and where the refugee camp is.
"Headed to east there is a village in Mahmude Raqi, we could get the geographic support technician to check to see if it is safe and strategize a plan" I say with a confident glint in my eye and the SMA smile and nods with an impressed look.
"Good plan Sergeant Pierce, you see why I left you this mission? I feel you will be able to get the job done and get those people to a safe haven" He says and Joe nudges my shoulder with a little smile. "Prepare, you leave tomorrow. You are dismissed."
With that, me and my team stood up and saluted then turned on our feet and left the tent. I have a feeling that this mission is going to be a hard one, capturing the hostages and getting them out safe as well as yourself is a tricky mission. I turn to my team of 7 soldiers and nod at them.
"I advise you all to get some rest, write home to your lovers, family whoever and let them know that we are being sent on a mission." I say with an authoritative tone and look from one soldier to another. "Be up for 0600, that's all, I've got a poker game to attend" I say with a wink and they all chuckle and disperse. I look to Joe. "You coming to play poker? I promise I won't rob all your money" I laugh and he chuckles but shakes his head and I frown in confusion.
"I'm going to go and write to my mom and my sister, sorry Britt." He says and runs a hand over his buzzed cut brown hair. I shrug and smile at him.
"It's cool, least you're saving your money. Tell your ma I said hi".
Joe walks off to our tent and I watch him go, I know he's worried about this mission tomorrow. He always writes to his ma and sister before he goes out on any kind of mission, even though he's very graphical in his letters they always want to know what's happening and how he's doing. That's a caring family. I write to my dad, not very often but I still write, I don't always get a letter back though. I guess I'm jealous of Joe, he has a loving family, he can tell them everything and they support him. I have to lie in my letters to get a response back from my pop and then I don't always get one. Sighing, I don't really feel in the mood to play poker I walk to my tent and slip inside seeing Joe with his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration as he writes a letter to his family. I walk to my cot and throw myself on top of it feeling a little shitty. I stare at the roof of the tent not thinking about anything in particular, but there's this feeling inside of me saying that I should write to my pop. I glance over at Joe and see him smiling to himself and his hand working furiously trying to write down all the words he's saying in his head down onto the paper. My head lulls back to the middle of the pillow and I sling my right arm over my eyes shielding any light, so I'm consumed in darkness. I don't know what happens next but I start to drift into unconsciousness and then back out. The world was a blur, and random images seemed to float aimlessly around in the pool of my thoughts, as though they were being blown about viciously by a hurricane. A tap on my shoulder momentarily brought me back to the outside world, but after a second I was once again lost. I could see my pop sitting on the couch in his usual attire, the TV playing some shitty show but what really caught my eye was that he was holding a letter and tears were pooling out of his eyes. Confusion blossomed in my heart and I walked closer to him to find out that the letter was a death notification. My death notification. I open my eyes to find that it is pitch black, I scan the tent and see that Joe and SSG Duffy are sleeping soundly. I let out a breath and rub my eyes to get rid of the sleep lodged in them and hop off my cot and walk out of the tent to get some fresh air. I have bad dreams a lot of the time but we all do, it's what comes with the job of being a soldier. They don't usually involve my pop though. All I feel is... guilt...
Walking over to the little deck chair I take a seat and rub my face with my hands trying to rid this feeling. Was it seeing Joe writing to his family? The fact that I might die tomorrow and not tell my pop I love him? Suddenly angry with myself I knock over this metal box and it sprawls everything all over the dusty floor. Looking down, I see a piece of paper and a pen. I'd say it's been about 4 months since I've wrote to him, I don't even know how I would start it. I lean down and pick up the paper and the pen and lay it down on the little table and stare at it hoping that the words would just appear on the page. They haven't.
Dear pop
There's so much I want to say to you, but I'm not sure where I should begin. I know it's been a long time since I wrote to you last and I'm sorry about that. I'm currently in Afghanistan in a base but tomorrow I'm being sent out on a mission and I know you don't like to hear about these things so I won't tell you what it is. I will tell you that is life threatening but I bet you knew that already. I just wanted to write this letter to you in case anything happens to me and I didn't get to tell you one last time that I love you pop. When you get this hopefully the mission is complete and we'll relocate to another place where people need our help. Keep safe pop.
Britt x