Josh stood over Loraine's body a little longer then expected. Though, this was the first time Josh had put an end to someone's life and still, it wasn't his own and that disappointed him more than anything.
"Josh...!"
It was more of a moan than any words but when he turned his head, he saw Tyler huddled up in a ball, almost crying in pain. His knees were pressed tightly against his chest and he was squinting his face.
Josh went by his side and laid his down on the bed. He rubbed his tummy while covering him with a blanket. But kept crying and moaning.
"Tyler, what's wrong?"
He moaned and his face turned red. Slowly, he lifted the blanket and Josh would have needed to be blind not to see the tent in his boxers.
"Tyler..."
"P-please. It hurts."
"I can't. I'm sorry."
Josh stood up but Tyler gripped his arm and looked at him with pleading eyes. Everything in Josh's body was stopping him and he couldn't bare himself to do it.
Tyler grabbed Josh's wrist, holding it forcibly and it brought him back to when his parents would do the same. It always began with a bruise then another and then it got worst. It reminded Josh of the days he lived with his cousins and what they did.
Tyler lowered his boxers and forced Josh's hand on him, demonstrating a stroke while his grip got tighter.
"Come on, it'll be over before you know it."
Tyler didn't say a word but Josh swore he heard his older cousin whisper in his ear. Josh stayed quiet and stroked Tyler up and down; the hot blood rushing through his hard member. It was much, but Tyler could already feel the relief, bucking his hips up and moaning.
Josh continued, silently and closed his eyes. He desperately wanted to be in his happy place. He remembered picturing himself running down the country hills with the fresh scent of mountain grass in the air. He always imagined himself to be king of a castle. He ruled over many knights and protected hundreds of villagers, he was a hero.
Tyler's cry snapped him back to reality and he came, Josh's hand now covered in semen. Josh lowered his head in shame while wiping off the memories on the cheap motel sheets. Tyler's eyes closed for a moment and was startled when Josh threw his clothes at him.
Before Tyler could make eye contact, Josh carefully stepped over Loraine's body and left the room, the door slamming shut. He leaned against the wall, a few feet away from the room. Josh cursed himself in every language for ruining the only relationship he's ever had. He'd lost Nixon and Tyler and he wasn't sure how long it would be till he lost himself. All those memories brought him back to when he felt his worst, and now he wanted to run into traffic.
Tyler opened the door a few minutes later and met him where he waited, zoned out. Josh shuddered at his touch and brushed him off. He threw his hood over his head and headed for the exit.
"Come on, we have to go before they see us."