xxxiii | her
Again.
Again.
One more time.
You missed that cue.
You missed that tone.
You missed a lyric.
Dammit.
If you could get the chords right, then get that stupid tone right.
One last time. Just this time.
"She sleeps alone.
My heart wants to come home.
I wish I was, I wish I was..."
You're almost there, come on. Brush off the sleepiness.
Keep going, for a final recording.
"Great job Luke! I felt your pain!" yelled the producer in the mic," That's a break! Tell Michael he's up."
Finally.
I took off the headphones, setting them on the seat, and walked out of the recording studio. I walked to the room where the boys were. I walked into the room finding Ashton and Michael were playing Fifa and Calum was nowhere to be found. We were preparing for our debut album, while we were touring with One Direction. I pass on the message to Michel, we both exchanged the seat. I played on my phone, leaving Ashton to play with himself.
After a while, I knew Michael would be done soon and we would be able to head home- well our hotel. I get up, grabbing my coat and beanie to search for Calum. Going straight to the first level of the building. Approaching the front desk, I asked the lady, "Excuse me, have you seen a guy with black hair? Sort of skinny?"
"Yes, I believe he went outside," she said pointing to the back door.
I thank her before walking to the back door hallway, which went outside. I opened the door and found Calum leaning against the brick wall of the other building. Why does he look so miserable?
"Cal, we're leaving," I told him, reaching out for him.
"Don't touch me," Calum snapped at me, looking at me with anger in his eyes.
I furrowed my eyebrows. This again.
"What the hell, man?" I snapped," Ever since we left home, you became a jerk! What's your fucking problem?"
"What's my fucking problem?! Don't even get me started, Luke."
"I'm serious, Cal."
"Yea, well so am I."
"Well if you're so serious then, I'm still bothered by the fact that you broke up with Cassidy! Why would you fucking to that to her?!" Calum yelled at me, getting in my face. Suddenly, the sleepiness that was in my system left, I was enraged with anger. "I bet your ass haven't even apologized to her."
"So haven't Michael and Ash, even you so shut the hell up."
"Gosh, you were going to hurt her without telling her we were leaving! If I were you right now, I would be in a relationship with Cassidy still! I would do anything to keep that relationship! Gosh, she never deserved to be with a dickhead like you!"
Calum yells in frustration, pulling the ends of his new hair.
"What is that suppose to mean-"
"It means that I fucking like her, Luke!" Calum screamed.
I stared at Calum. "You what?"
"Nothing, let's just go," mumbled Calum, going to the door.
I pushed him back," You like Cassidy?"
"No,"
"Well, a minute ago it seemed like you said you liked Cassie."
Calum stays quite. He wouldn't... right?
"Lair! I knew it, you like her, you fucking bastard! How could you?! You're my best friend! Friends aren't supposed to like the same girl! Especially when one of them bullied the crap out of her!" I yelled at Calum.
"At least I didn't argue with her! I took great care of her when you were getting drunk and flirting with other girls!" Calum yelled at me, pushing me.
I got angry, my fist balled into a fist, and impacted with Calum's jaw. He walks backward. He glares down at me. He runs to me and knocks me down. He was on top of me, he was bound to punch the hell out of me until someone came into the alley.
"LUKE! CALUM! WHAT THE HELL GUYS?!" yelled voices.
Calum and I were separated by Michael and Ashton. Calum got out Ashton's grip and storms away to who knew where. I push Michael off of me, fixing my clothes.
"What the hell was that fight for?!" Ashton asked.
"I don't want to talk about it."
What's going on with you, Calum?
-
I hate this so much. Why the hell did I say that? Why the hell do I keep on thinking about her?
Ever since we left, I remained thinking about her. I try to avoid my thoughts, hanging out with the guys, and even One Direction when we had the chance, and focus on working on the album or even rehearsals. But she keeps on bopping out in my mind. I take out my phone and went to my contacts. I stared at Cassidy's contact. My finger is above the call button. Should I? I slowly press the button and put my phone by my ear.
"Hello?"
"Cassidy?" I asked, quietly.
"Yes? Wait, who is this?" Cassidy asked me, I hear things moving in the background.
"Its me, Calum." I mumbled, putting my right hand in my pocket.
It was quiet for a while, at this point, she might've hanged up and I didn't even realized-
"Oh, hey.."
She's still on the call..
"How's everything?"
"O-oh, okay....how about y-you?" Cassidy asked me, nervously.
"Honestly..." I trailed my voice, looking up in the sky.
Should I be honest? Why am I even doing this?
I chuckled,"It's great. It's amazing touring with One Direction-"
"I gotta go," Cassidy says in the phone.
The phone was hung up. She hung up on me. Does she really hate me now? I sighed and put my hand in my coat pockets. I went to the front and found the car that where the guys were waiting. I walked up to it and opened it, finding Luke and Ashton in the back and Michael was in the second row.
I climbed into the car. I take out my headphones and phone and played my music on full volume. I stared outside of the window, watching everything past by in a blink of an eye, like leaving Cassidy behind.
We eventually get to the hotel, which has two levels so it's like an apartment, and we head inside. I walked up the stairs to go to my room. I locked the door behind me and fell onto my bed. I stare at the ceiling, boredom is killing me, eventually, it leads me to sleep. I woke up and find it was seven in the afternoon.
I want to see her. I want to be with her. But she hates me.
My body on its own automatically takes out my phone and dialed her phone. It rings for a few seconds and it answers.
"Hello?" groaned her voice.
"Did you delete my number from your phone?"
"Calum?"
"Yeah,"
"Why are you calling me at 4 o'clock in the morning?" groaned Cassidy in annoyance.
"Opps-"
"Calum, why are you calling me anyway? Aren't you enjoying touring with One Direction and be famous?"
"Cassidy...I'm sorry."
Cassidy scoffs,"About what?"
"Everything. I... I've been thinking. I haven't been... honest. Since the day I started to bully and now. I should've never bullied you in the first place. You know... I was dumb, I still don't understand why after finding out that your parents side business involved with the or[ahnage and gave me a purpose to make fun of you. That should never have been the purpose to bully you or even start messing with you. I think I started to feel disgusted with myself without realizing it. I... wish I could make up all those years for you, destroying every opportunity to make friendships, memories, and you. And after everything I've done, I wasn't even considering how you felt about me, changing, you told me, you were scared of me and I should've understood that from the start but I didn't. After caving in what the guys told me and seeing you, I knew that I had to end it. I'm so sorry for everything.
And... We should've told you we were leaving. I should've waited for you at the airport. I should've done something to make you happy-"
I heard small sniffs on the other side. Cassidy was crying. My heart breaks into pieces. Did I cause this much pain to Cassidy?
" I understand... I-I... Calum. Do you forgive yourself? For what you have done? I think you should consider that. I'm glad that you mentioned that you never considered that you never thought about what I had thought during those times because now, I could tell you. And let me tell you Calum what you should've done."
Why does this seem like it was going differently than I had thought it would be?
"You know what you should've done? Let those football players had hurt me badly back in school, I would probably end up dead in a hospital and none of this fuckin' mess would've happened! I should've never let you get so close to me! I should've never given you a second chance! I should've never considered you as a friend! Cause you were my bully! I should've never let you kiss me!- You should've never left!"
Cassidy cries. I was speechless, I had no words. Was this what she truly felt? Thought? Why did I never asked her? Was I scared of the truth?
"You should have never left. You or the boys. But it's whatever now! You're basically on stage every day. Singing and playing the bass. I never want to speak to you again, Calum Hood. Never call my phone again. You're going to be blocked."
"No-no, no, no. Please, Cassidy please don't. Please. I... I-"
"I what Calum?! Spit it out! Or just swallow it because I'll hang up!" Cassidy tells me," I what?"
"I love you."