"Mom!? Jude yelled as he stood in the front doorway of the small two bedroom apartment waiting impatiently for his mother to drive him to Anchor Beach. Jude enjoyed his new school and insisted on getting there early to sit by the beach and read with his new friend Conner. He found it both calming and relaxing before the busy school day began, but for the past few days his mom had been oversleeping despite him setting her alarm two hours before she needed to be awake.
"Mom! I'm going to be late. I have to meet Conner at 8:15!" he yelled again after not hearing a response and looked displeased at his watch as the time ticked closer to 8 am.
"Yes, yes I'm coming my love!" Jude looked up letting out a loud sigh as he finally saw his mom race out of her bedroom wearing only her bra and uniform pants yet again. Out of embarrassment he quickly turned his head the other way.
"I just need my shirt baby....shirt, shirt, shirt..where is my..." The blonde lifted up the couch pillows and blanket searching vigorously for the one clean uniform shirt she had left. With the apartment not having a washer and dryer she unfortunately didn't do the laundry as much as she should have lately. Lena had done it happily for her the last few times even folding and pressing it but Stef refused to let her keep doing it as she told her it was her responsibility. As to be expected Lena persisted on a daily basis for she adored taking care of the resistant blonde.
As Jude stood by the doorway and turned to watch his mother he couldn't help but shake his head as he continued to observe the daily routine of his mother once again rushing and scrambling around to get ready in the morning. Finally looking around himself so they could get moving he spotted the police shirt hanging on the doorknob of the bedroom and quickly grabbed it.
"Mom?" Jude said holding the shirt in his hand as he stood behind his mother completely mortified at seeing her in her bra yet again.
'Yes my love one second..I'm just lookin..." he cut her off as Stef lifted up another couch cushion.
"For your shirt." Stef turned around seeing the young boy holding the shirt up for her as she let out a sigh of relief.
"Oh ...yes thank you my baby what would I do without you.?" She planted a kiss on his forehead as he made a disgruntled face.
"Mom, you have to stop oversleeping." Jude reprimanded and glancing at his watch again.
"Sweets you may lecture me in the car all you want but please, please pour my coffee in my thermos and then we will be out of here in less than five minutes. I promise my love." The cop stood in the bathroom doorway buttoning up her shirt as she observed her sons annoyed expression.
"Please my baby." she pleaded. Jude let out a loud sigh as he just wanted to get to the beach.
"Ok but then we leave. I haven't been able to sit at the beach for a week mom. " he shook his head.
"Yes love. Then we will leave." A wide smile graced the blondes face as she watched her young son slowly make his way into the tiny kitchen.
"And don't forget your badge like last time!" He yelled.
"Yes dad." Stef joked sarcastically as she knew her son was right about her oversleeping and she felt terrible for dropping him off so late more than once in the past week. She was fully aware how much her son prided himself on being on time. Something he obviously did not pick up from her that's for sure, but his strength and big heart that he most certainly did. She witnessed that strength in her son on more then one occasion but especially when his father made it known he wanted nothing to do with him any longer. Stef had filed for divorce the day after she pulled the gun on Mike and a few days later he put in a transfer for the Sacramento PD and left with no phone call to his son nothing. Of course it took less then an hour for Stef to track him down even driving to Sacramento herself where Mike made it clear to her that he wanted nothing to do with his gay son. That day she tried her best to remain calm for the sake of Jude but she had not been successful.
"Stef what are you doing here? You can't just show up like this." Mike yelled from the front door as the two police officers stood face to face.
"Actually I can and I just did. So this is your solution huh? To run away from your son. A son that loves you. Loves you more then you will ever know or be able to comprehend." Stef interrogated.
"Stef I warned you..." Mike said pointing his finger at her as Stef glared coldly straight into his eyes without one single blink. " I told you that if you supported that, that you would do it alone. I'm not raising a faggot. I refuse!"
"And I told you to stop calling him that!" She scowled as she proceeded to inch closer to Mike. She could feel more anger in her body more then anything and it was boiling over as she tried to calm herself.
"Hey I'm calling it what it is and how the world sees him!"
"Then if the world sees him like that it's all the more that you shouldn't! You are suppose to protect him Mike." Now pointing her own finger at him..." and you are suppose to be there for him, not against him! The world will already be against him and I want to know how the hell can you just walk away from him and live with yourself? How? Huh?! How can you walk away from your own son when he needs his father more then anything right now! How? Tell me what kind of man does that?"
"Stef you come here again and I'll have you arrested for harassment!" Mike barked back.
"And I'll have your ass arrested for neglect and for not paying child support! In fact I'll arrest you my damm self! Don't try me Mike!"
"What? You gonna pull your gun on me again? Huh?. Do me a favor Stef and don't come back here, and if you so much as set one foot on my doorstep again I swear I'll file a restraining order against you!
The anger Stef felt was beyond words and inconceivable. It was all she could do from ringing his neck and beating the literal shit out of him. All she could do as she felt her fits tighten up as she moved closer to Mike once again with less then an inch closer to his face. His eyes widened as he knew all two well of Stef's persistence and explosive temper.
"If that's the kind of man and father you want to be to your son then you do both of us a favor and don't ever contact him again. Ever! I will not have you going around and making him feel like something is wrong with him. I won't have it! But you hear this, I swear to god you will help support him financially whether you're fucking homophobic or not. You will or I will drag your sorry ass to court and bleed you dry of every single penny. Every single one!" Stef turned around faster then ever as Mike stood at the door shaking his head.
"You go ahead and try and see how far you get!"
Stef looked up with nothing but hatred in her eyes.
"You know you're so worried about your son being gay and not so called being manly enough. But at 11 he is more of a man then you will ever be!
It had been hard to tell her son that his father wanted no relationship with him and she could see how he tried to be strong, but she could also see how utterly crushed and heartbroken he was. She could sense the shame he felt as he couldn't help but feel like it was his fault, that it was because of him possibly being gay, that it was because of him not being the son his dad wanted, that his mom lost the house because of him, that they divorced because of him. She could see all of it written over his face that day and she had been quick to remind her grief-stricken son each and every time that none of it, none of it was his fault, and never would be. Ever in life. As she tied her blonde hair back in a tight bun and adjusted her badge she could only hope that her words were getting through to her son. But she believed they were for ever since changing schools he was really coming out of his shell and being more of himself. But she couldn't help but feel like it wasn't just her that made the difference or the change of schools, she knew Lena the absolute love of her life had a lot to do with that as well. Lena had not only been her savior but Jude's as well.
While his mother was rushing to get ready Jude Foster stood in the kitchen pouring her coffee when he couldn't help but notice a small gift wrapped box laying on the table. As curiosity would have it he picked it up gently to inspect it and let out a smile as he read who it was addressed to. "My Love." Jude knew his mom had not meant to leave it out for him to see but he had known for sometime that something was going on between her and Mrs. Adam's, his Vice Principal. He had in fact accidentally overheard his mom refer to Mrs. Adams many times as, "my love."
During the last few weeks Jude had noticed the sudden change in his mom and he was pretty certain he knew why. It wasn't a bad change by any means, he thought it was an amazing change to see for she seemed so much happier, and carefree almost like she was floating on a cloud which he loved to see. His mom smiled more than ever and laughed more than ever, especially when Lena would come over to tutor him in Math. Jude really didn't believe she came over just to tutor him he believed she came over to see his mom as well for they made it very obvious. At least to him. He would notice his mom get almost shy and star struck, which she never did and fumble over her words, almost like she had a crush on Lena. At the same time her face would light up brighter than ever and Jude could see she would blush as Lena would compliment her on almost everything while grabbing her hand when they thought he hadn't noticed. There were a few times he had seen the two fall asleep on the couch while watching a movie. Nothing to him seemed weird about it but it was the way they had fallen asleep. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms with Lena laying directly on his mom and his mom's arms holding her tight even stroking her head. Like as if she was protecting her, and like she loved her. Jude had never seen his dad be that way to his mother. Not once and he had never seen his mother be that way to his father. His parents had done nothing but fight especially once his dad started to drink, and they were never affectionate, ever. But something was different about his mom and Lena and to be honest he didn't mind it at all for he really liked Lena. He liked her more then anything and she had really changed their life almost like she was a savior. She had helped him adjust to his new school and had learnt a listening ear almost daily to him when he first transferred. She was very open, understanding and calm and he felt extremely comfortable with her like he did with his mom. Lena too had encouraged him to be himself just as his mom had, and had even complimented his blue nail polish a few times reapplying it for him. To Jude it seemed the friendship she had with his mom was more then that. Not that it made him mad he just wanted his mom to be honest about who she was too. Just as she had told him to be the night she pulled the gun on his father.
"Love it's mom can I come in? Jude heard the knock at the door but was much to scared to come out. He wasn't sure what had happened after he saw his mom pull the gun out and was to terrified to answer. A few moments later he heard his room door open.
"Baby, where are you my love?" His mom said once again as he tried to hold in his sniffles and tears but found it hard as they were burning his eyes. He ducked his head down into his knees as he curled himself up towards the back of the closest wall. It was then he heard the closet door open and looked up to see his mom's worried expression.
"Oh baby come here. Come here my love." Stef stretched her arm out for Jude to take it but he was still too afraid.
"Baby it's ok my love. It's just me and you here. Everything is ok and no one is going to hurt you. I won't ever let that happen. Never my love." He looked up at his mom's soft expression once again which was a striking difference in the expression she had for his father only a few moments ago.
"You took your gun out and..."
" Baby come here my love. Come and I will talk to you. Come on sweets. Come on my boy." She continued to strength her arm out as Jude slowly hesitated but took her hand. Fear and panic were running through his body but if he trusted anyone in this world it was his mother.
Stef gently grabbed her shaken up son and picked him up. Jude melted into the comfort of his her arms while she carried him over to the bed to talk. He held onto her for dear life at this point for he was still worried that his father would come back into the house.
Sitting on the bed close to each other Jude slid his fingers into his mother's hand as they were shaking and Stef held them and comforted him as she had always done. She lifted his face up to meet her eyes as she could see the fear in his face and Jude saw the hurt in hers.
"My love, I'm sorry you had to see that. It wasn't my intention to have you see that at all, and I'm not saying it was the best choice. But as your mother I pulled my gun out to protect you. I would not have used it and I wasn't going to shot your father but I also wasn't going to let him hurt you. My job, my number one job before anything is to be there for you my love. Always. Yes?"
Jude let his mother's words seep into his brain as he nodded in response. But he looked down to the ground as his mother yet again lifted his chin up to meet her eyes.
"Baby, talk to me."
"I heard dad call me..." Stef cut him off immediately as she knew what he was going to say.
"Jude my sweet love...you are not that word. You aren't. Never. And I will tell you if you are gay then you are, if not then you aren't. I will love you no matter what and I have loved you no matter what and no matter who you are. You are an amazing young man and you are growing into an even more amazing young man and I couldn't be more proud of you. It should not be an issue for me or anyone else for that matter who you choose to love one day. Never. And if someone tells you it is, even if it's your own father then you tell them just what I told you. You tell them, you scream it to them over and over and you stand tall with confidence about who you are. Because you are beautiful baby. Your are beyond beautiful. You understand me? Stef spoke sternly as she gently looked into her son's wide eyes as Jude let out a small smile after hearing the words his mom spoke to him.
" Mom, I didn't mean to kiss David, It just sort of, well it just sort of happened." He looked down to the ground again feeling the shame take over once again for his actions.
" Did you like it?" Stef questioned as she could sense the hesitation and the avoidance of eye contact from her son. She tilted her head down a bit hoping to catch his eyes.
"It's ok baby you know you can always be honest with me. I won't be mad or angry. Tell me how you felt love." she reached for his hand and squeezed it as he lifted his eyes toward her and she smiled with reassurance.
"I ..sort of did like it. " Jude looked down ashamed once again.
"Then why do you look ashamed my love?" Stef furrowed her brows as Jude felt a tad awkward with the conversation.
"I'm..I'm suppose to like girls. And I try to like girls. I do but I jus..."
"You just don't." Stef confirmed.
"Yeah. Is that weird?" Jude looked into his mom's eyes.
" Not in the slightest my love, not in the slightest." She smiled wide at him.
"So you're not made that, well that I like boys?"
"Baby I told you, and if i have to tell you every single day of your life I will never ever be angry at you for that. Ever. I love you honey. I love you so so much and I will always always be here to support you. Always. Understand?"
Jude looked up as his mom as they both exchanged wide smiles and he leaned in to hug her tight. Stef held him in her arms just as tight and kissed the the top of his head. It was clear that she would do anything for her son. Absolutely anything and Jude knew that even more then ever now.
"So my love, do you think David liked the kiss?" she inquired as Jude slowly pulled away from her.
" I don't know.... I guess. He rubbed my leg." Stef's eyes couldn't help but bug out at the thought of her son making out. She wasn't exactly 100 percent happy about the kiss because her son was still so young even if he soon would be 12. But she couldn't help but think what it would lead to next time and gently placed her hand on his knee.
"Love, I am not angry at you at all and I know you will be a teenager soon and hormones start to take over ..
"Mom..please." Jude said looking mortified and putting his hand up as to almost block his mother's words.
"Ok...I am not here to embarrass you...at least not tonight anyway." Stef smiled
"But just take your time sweetheart and there is no rush for sex." She laughed.
Jude's eyes couldn't help but bug out.
"Mom. I'm not having that! I'm not havin....!"
"Sex? It's ok to say the word my love."
Jude put his hands to his face trying to cover his red cheeks that flustered as his mom kept saying the word sex.
"MOm please stop. Just please."
"Ok. ok. I will leave that for another night." Stef laughed as her son was clearly dying from embarrassment as she winked at him.
"Are we ok sweets?"
"I'm ok mom. Thanks." Jude smiled as he leaned into his mom to hug her tightly as Stef hugged her son even harder than before.
" I love you my baby. I Love you so much." she softly placed a kiss on top of his head.
"I love you too mom." Jude dug his face into his mom's uniform shirt and knew she would never leave his side, and for that he loved her more then anything.
Coming out of his thoughts Jude screwed the top on his mom's theorems and took the small gift with him as he made his way into the living room. Stef herself had finally finished getting ready and grabbed her bag to head out the door.
"That was more than five minutes mom." Jude scolded.
"Yes then arrest me my love." Stef laughed as Jude smiled handing her the gift.
"I think you forgot this." The blonde looked at her sons hand seeing the gift she had wrapped for Lena the night before. She had not meant to leave it in site and wasn't sure what her son was thinking but she felt her stomach drop as she looked at the gift then at him as he placed it in her hand.
"I think Mrs. Adams will love whatever you give her mom."
Jude smiled at his mom and walked out the front door leaving Stef with the thought that her relationship with Lena was really no such secret anymore. Or maybe it never had been to her son.