xxix | too fast
Quiet. It's been too quiet this whole month. The majority of the time, I'm hanging with Wesley or stay stuck at the library during school. After school, the boys are fully engaged in band practice, not giving in to take a break at all whenever I tell them to take one. They even memorize things while eating. They've been awfully weird this whole month and so distance. They've also been booked on weekends so I don't get to spend that with them either. They're just ignoring me, it's hard to tell if they're just trying to focus or they're annoyed with me.
After discussing this with Angelina and Wesley during the weekend, they told me to ask them during lunch when we return to school before the end of our first semester when we'll have midterm exams. So after Literature class, I dashed out of class to catch up with Calum.
"Calum!"
Calum mid stops his tracks, looking over his shoulder to see who called him. He smiles lightly and bids goodbye to one of the seniors he was talking too and waited for me," Hey."
"Are you busy?"
"Yea," Calum sighs, "I gotta go to the music room for practice."
"Well, I'll just walk over there with you,"
"Actually," Calum sighs, stopping my tracks by the shoulder, "It's only gonna be us."
"And me,"
"No, no," Calum sighs again, "It's only gonna be just the guys."
"How come?" I question him, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Uh-I," He stumbles over his words," it's a secret."
"For?"
"I can't say," Calum tells me, the bell rings, he starts walking backward, "I gotta go. Sorry, Cass."
"Can you just answer me this?" I ask him, stopping his tracks.
"What?"
"Why are you guys ignoring me?"
"I... sorry."
I watched him as he runs down the hallway, heading towards the direction of the music room. He just really left me with no answer.
They've been like they're ignoring me. I have no clue what's going on. I walked away in frustration, going out to eat with Wesley, complaining about how Luke even ignored my messages for a week on their behavior. But I wasn't going to give up. After school, I knew that it was Calum's turn to have band practice at his place and I would confront them.
Walking up the front porch, I had a pet talk with myself, it was unbelievable how nervous I was to confront them. After taking the courage, I nervously knocked on the door. The door opens to a womon with short black hair who was Calum's mother, Joy.
"Hi Cassidy," she said, a small smile spreads on her lips.
"Hi, is Calum home?" I asked her, biting my lip.
"Yes, come in," she said, "he's in his room."
"Thank you..."
I greeted her and his sister before I walked upstairs, then to his room. I heard a lot of voices as I reached the top of the stairs. Walking towards Calum'd bedroom door, I placed my right ear on the door. Clearly, they were yelling.
"Luke, you can't do that to Cassidy!" yelled Calum.
"I have no other choice, Calum! I don't want to but it's the only way I won't break her heart!" yelled Luke.
"No, you could be together! You're just being selfish!" Calum yells back.
"Cal, do you think we want her to get hurt?" another voice pops out, the voice belonged to Michael.
"But Luke doesn't need to break up with Cassidy!" Calum yelled again.
"Calum, long-distance relationship doesn't work. Plus we'll be gone for almost a year!" yelled Ashton," She's like a little sister to me! I know where Luke is coming from but I don't know why you are acting like this! Cassidy isn't your girlfriend!"
Luke is breaking up with me? They're leaving?
"I'm leaving," muttered Luke.
"Luke, wait," said Calum.
Before I got the chance to move and hide, the door opened and Luke was in front of me. He stopped and stared at me, stunned, so were the boys behind him.
"Cassidy-"
"When are you leaving?" I asked, cutting off Ashton.
"Cassidy-"
"Just tell me when you guys are leaving?!" I asked, cutting off Michael.
"February third," mumbled Luke.
In three weeks. In three weeks, they were going to leave me without telling me? It was dead silence. Neither one of them spoke out, I was the only one carrying in this situation, "When you guys going to tell me?!"
"Cassidy, we really wanted to but-"
"But what?"
"We didn't want to hurt you," said Calum, with a hurt expression written all over his face.
"Well, you guys already did," I said, "And I wouldn't be so surprised if you didn't tell Angelina as well."
"Cassie, please don't go." Luke pleaded, grabbing my wrist
I pulled my wrist away," Stop, you wanted to break up, so we're over Luke! Gosh, you guys are great friends!" I yelled sarcastically.
I ran out of Calum's house, running in the rain, it didn't stop me. The hard raindrops hit my skin, almost helping me forget the pain in my chest, they were going to leave without any explanation.
I run off to the only place I felt safe. It was the beach, I'm so glad that I didn't share this with anyone, it was a comfortable place for me, this one or anyone another one. The beach was closed but there were no gates, no security. I sat by a bench and released everything. I couldn't believe that they were leaving in weeks-
I threw the rock I held in my hand at the sand, slowly drowning itself due to rain drowned in the sand. They weren't going to tell me about this and I think I could've handled a long-distance relationship. No this [s all happening too fast, how come I didn't know any of this?
I don't remember how long I was there but I felt strong arms around me. My eyes shot wide open, jerking away and a familiar black hair stood in front of me.
"Let go of me, Calum."
"Don't ever do that again, you literally scared the shit out of me."
He's crying... I never thought I would see Calum cry. I stop trying to get out of his grip, holding my forearms. I looked up to see Calum's lip quivering. He looked into my eyes, sniffling his stuffy nose, looking down at the ground.
"I followed you since your ex didn't."
He must've noticed my question just by looking into my gaze. We stayed there, Calum holding onto me and I was awkwardly looking around before I caved in, I needed answers, I wanted answers.
"Calum-"
Then it happened. His lips were against mine. Calum Hood. Who was my bully is kissing me? Calum then moved back." I'm sorry."
Calum ran away and left me on the beach.
-
"Cas, I think you should go to the airport before they leave," Wes tells me.
It was February third. The boys were leaving today, ready to start off their career as the opening act for One Direction's tour. Not too long ago, I found out that they were going to moving to London, they would be miles away from me.
Ever since that incident, I hadn't to spoken to either one of them, Ashton was the only one who attempted to talk to me, but Angelina would call him over the phone and yells at him to stop talking to me after I told her. Also on that day, Wes obviously came to the rescue and saved me. Sort of. For the past week again, I made a fake excuse to the school just so I can avoid them ever since I've been stuck in my room. So during lunch and free period, Wesley would come over to keep me company, happy how he was able to do this, unlike last time. I had told him everything besides Calum kissing me. I don't think I ever want to talk about it.
"No" I moaned, covering myself with my blankets.
"Fine, but can we go see a movie?" Wes asked me, knowing him, he'll beg till I agree so I nodded my head.
I got up and walked to my bathroom. I quickly took a shower and changed quickly as well as changing into comfy clothing with black converse and my hair down. Wes and I got into his car, after a while I started to feel sleepy and I fell asleep in the car. I don't remember how long I was asleep but Wesley woke me up.
"Wesley, why are we at the airport?"
"Sorry, it's just I hate you seeing you so down. I know you're not happy with the decision they made but it's their dream, isn't it? Look, they will be gone for nine months, Cass. Maybe more than that. You are going to regret not saying goodbye. And I know Calum likes you, Cassidy. you can't push him to the side," Wesley tells me, "You like Calum, don't you?"
Do I?
I got off the car and ran to the doors. I don't know where the hell I was going. I looked up to find the board where all of the planes were. I give through the important stuff before I look for their deportation spot.
London, England- boarding in 8 minutes. GATE 6B.
I looked for the gates. My head was spinning all over the place. I have to find Calum, I don't understand what I'm feeling but here I am, running around the airport trying to find Calum. It's like one of those stupid romantic movies where the boy is moving and leaves the love of his life behind without telling the girl and confessing. Obliviously, the girl does find out and chases him to the airport. The girl finds him in the crowd and runs to him, the boy sees her and the girl jumps into his arms. Then it ends with a passionate kiss. Or is it the other way around?
My sight caught a small crowd of girls, 5SOS Fam. I ran towards the crowd. I pushed myself through the crowd and eventually, I was in front of the crowd. The boys were there. They were actually there. They couldn't hear us because they were away from us.
"You need to get back," one of the securities told me.
"No, I need to talk to Calum Hood," I told the security,"I'm a friend of 5 Seconds Of Summer!"
I tried to push past them but they're too strong. Just when I made it, I can't say goodbye one last time.
"Hey, let her past by!"
"She needs to say goodbye to them!"
"Cassidy! GO!"
The girls were cheering and yelling. The securities didn't know what the hell to do so they let me through. I ran with all of my might to reach them.
"Final warning for boarding to London, final warning,"
NO! Tears started falling down my cheeks. I was so close but so far away. The boys started to gather their things and walking through the doors, leading to the airplane. Calum was behind them all.
"Calum!" I yelled, still running.
Calum stopped. He slowly turned around, but he didn't have any reaction, he just had a bored expression written all over his face.
"Calum, wait!"
Calum looked at the doors then back at me. He shook his head. He looked back at me, his lip lifted into a small smile. My pace slowed down as I started to see the old Calum, the one who didn't care about me. He turned around and walked through the doors. I stopped running and hovered over, putting my hands on my knees.
He's gone.