..Still can't get over....
I sit in front of the television, watching an episode of Vampire Diaries. Really, that Elena has it so much easier than me. she only has to choose between the two brothers. Me on the other side, to choose between two whole different lifestyles - both feeling hell right now. I couldn't be with him because it breaks my heart. But I barely can be without him, because it break my heart as well. Fucking Love! Why do you have to exist?!
The sun has already set and Patricia left an hour ago with Adam, who has the most proud fiance of the world.
My phone rings and I look at the display. a text message. From Richard.
Can we talk?
I sigh and push the reply button.
It's your birthday. Celebrate it with your friends and family.
I hit the send button and get the answer seconds later.
You didn't answer my question. I'll be waiting for you at my apartment.
I sigh as I get off the couch. I pass my reflection and look at it for a second. I look like a crap. I can't face Richard Faulkerson, looking like crap.
I take a deep breath before I walk into my room and get dressed-- as fast as I can as best as I can. Although my heart screams out a big loud NO!, my body is moving. Getting dressed, getting my hair done, putting on make-up. I'm ready for my favorite drug.
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The elevator doors open and I feel my pulse is at it's best. i hear my blood rushing through my body as I walk out of the elevator and into a familiar penthouse. Nothing has changed. The penthouse looked like it a week ago.
Dressed in a dark washed skinny jeans and black lace top with black heels, I walk down the glass way, once more I'm fascinated by the view of Manhattan at night. I almost forgot how amazing this penthouse is. How beautiful the view is.
Soft jazz music reach in my ears and I smile as I walk into the living room area. Richard is standing in front of the one of the french windows, looking down at Manhattan. He's wearing dark jeans and a simple white shirt. He looks breathtaking and sad, glamorous and intimidating, sexy and broken at the same time - a mixture only Richard Faulkerson embodies.
"You should be at your party. It's rude to leave your own party." I say to him as I slowly reach him.
He turns his attention to me. "I didn't even notice you walking in."
"You were in deep thoughts." I say with a shrugg.
"Yes." He agrees with me.
"So, why am I here?" I ask him as I stop standing across to him.
"I want to thank you. For my birthday present. for finding William. For arranging the meeting with William. for giving me the chance to meet my father. For.....Everything."
"No problem. I'm glad you're happy." I say nodding and force myself in a fake smile.
"I'm not happy Maine." he says to me.
I turn my head away. I can't look. It hurts too much.
"Maine, I-"
"What do you expect fro me, Richard?! I snap at him. "Nothing has changed Richard. I can't be with you because you're with seven other women. I have too much pride, to much dignity to give into this king of lifestyle. I am not made for this lifestyle."
"Maine," he starts and places his hand on her shoulder.
I step away, "Don't touch me Richard, Please don't touch me because I can't bare that. I can barely stand in front of you. Being here is hurting me. More than you know." I say to him.
"Main-"
"I don't even know what I'm doing here." I say and turn around.
"I can't be with someone who will never return my feelings." I say and start to walk away.
"Wait," he says and grab my waist.
"What?" I say as I turn around.
"It's my birthday and I have a wish, Miss Mendoza?"
"Dance with me." he says into my eyes.
I sigh. It's his birthday. "Fine." I agree and take his hand. I feel the electricity running through my veins right now. It's an effect he always will have on me. No matter the status
(A/N: please play this song while reading this last part of this chapter.. I t made me cry while doing this..)
We start to swing the "So Close" by John McLaughlin song played and I inhale his scent as I rest my head against his muscular chest. Feel him so close to me for forever. But I can't. I can't be with him ripping me apart.
"Maine." he starts and i look into his eyes. Gosh, I feel like I could stare into those eyes for a lifetime. A lifetime he doesn't want with me.
"What are we doing here, Richard?" I ask him as i release myself out of his embrace as the song ends.
"We danced."
"That's not what I meant and you know it." I say and pick up my purse. "As much as I would like this to go on, I can't. I'm sorry." I say as I nearly ran to the elevator.
"Nicomaine, wait!"
But I don't stop and turn around to act everything's normal. I can't pretend everything's okay when it's not. Not with him.
I get into the elevator and see Richard reaching me, "Happy Birthday, Richard." I say as the elevator close.
He places his hand on the glass doors and I see the tears in his eyes as the elevator starts to move. I turn around and look down, letting the tears fall down my cheeks. And once again, I feel like someone just ripped my heart out of my chest.
I wipe away the tears as the elevator doors open again and I step out. Gosh, why does this always have to be so hard? Why can't he just love me the way I love him? Why can't I stay away from him although I should?!
I sigh as I step out into the streets of Manhattan. The leaves are falling down as the season's are changing. I shiver, it is getting cold as well. I take a deep breath, inhaling the smell of New York City, trying to calm me down. I walk down the empty streets, feeling more lonely than ever. While my best friend is having the time of her life, I am stuck with my feelings for Richard. Feelings he will never be able to return. Feelings I should never have developed.
The pedestrian light changes from red to green and I start walking again. Why does this have to be so difficult? Why can't be easy? Only once it should be easy. I mean why can't it- my thoughts get interrupted as I feel something hitting me. I feel my body spinning through air before everything turns black.
dum......dum....dum....dum...
what happen to Nicomaine?????
thank you for reading!!!
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