Hello, did you miss me because I certainly missed you all! I can't believe it's been 25 chapters already when did this all happen ?
The song on the side is 'They just don't know you' by Little Mix, I put it there because the lyrics kind of remind me of my story. Also it's a beautiful song so give it a try :)
Anyway I really hope you like this chapter, i love you xx
Our trip to the mall had left me curious, afraid and craving for some answers but I decided to just block it out of my mind and wait for it to be ‘safe’ for Harry to tell me. It was the best thing to do, if I had been over thinking as usual I would have gone mad for this past week.
Talking about madness it was the right word to describe my house at the moment. My parents had gone out to a late dinner last night so this morning they overslept and currently I was witnessing the interesting sight of my parents running around like crazy.
Luckily my brother had a sleepover over his friends’ house so he would get to school in time; however you couldn’t say the same about me. I’ve been taking driving lessons for two weeks now but still couldn’t drive and apparently waiting for my dad wasn’t an option either.
I thought of calling Eleanor or Liam but they would probably be in school already, so the only option was my prince charming.
Wow, not even cheesy
Holding my phone to my ear with my shoulder I put all of my things in my bag and zipped it shut. Apparently, a lot of people out there wouldn’t mind a new wallet and I experienced that first-hand when some old woman shamelessly rummaged through my bag while I observed some cute clothes in a random store I walked in.
I waited for Harry to pick up but it never happened. Frowning, I dialed his number again and after a couple of seconds he answered.
“Hey.” He said huskily.
“Good morning.” I greeted happily, but my happy mood went a bit down when I got no response. For seconds I thought he had hung up.
“Harry?” I called.
“Yeah?” He rasped.
“Um, is everything alright?” I asked cautiously, I could tell something was wrong by his voice.
“Yeah.” Was all I got as an answer.
After a few more seconds of silence I decided to go to the point I was calling him in the first place.
“Uh- I just called to ask if you haven’t left for school yet. I don’t have a ride so I was wondering if you could pick me up?” For some reason I stumbled over my words.
“No.” My eyes slightly widened at his blunt answer and I knew for sure something was wrong.
“O-kay…” I trailed off not knowing what to say.
“I’m just not going to school today.”
“Why?”
“I…” He paused and I noticed I was holding my breath, “I’m not feeling well so I’ll just stay home.”
“Damn, I’m sorry for bothering you then. I’ll visit you right after school, okay?” I instantly said, not caring about the fact that I still had to find a way to get to school.
“Um, no. No need to.” He spoke and I felt that he was distant, not physically –that too- but emotionally. His mind was elsewhere.
“Oh, okay.” I mumbled, trying to ignore the pain in my chest. It wasn’t the heartbreaking pain when I felt my heart being shattered in a million of pieces- let’s not exaggerate it was nothing like that, but it was a small pain that reminded me that he could easily break me just with words if he wanted to. I tried to push those negative thoughts away.
“I’m sorry. I- I’m not quite sure what I did but apparently I did something wrong so I’m sorry.” I said quietly, before hanging up.
I replayed the last week in my head trying to think of something that would make him mad at me. We had a small argument on Tuesday but we made up minutes after so I wouldn’t even consider that, so I came up with nothing.
A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts.
“Honey, I’m leaving now. Are you coming?” I was too caught up in my thought to even say anything about how fast my father got ready, so I just grabbed my bag and followed him outside.
The day went by slowly, even more than usual. I would constantly find myself thinking about the phone call this morning and decided to stick with the idea that he was ill and tired and just didn’t want to talk, but still my conscious knew fully well it was bullshit.
Emily and Mike were going through a hard time so I just focused on comforting her rather than thinking about my own problems. I could tell she had strong feeling for him not only by the way smiled whenever I saw them together but also because of the way she was now blankly staring at the wall, ignoring everything around her.
What left me confused was that I honestly thought that he felt the same way about her, he was always so loving and caring about her.
But they haven’t broken up, just taking a break. So I could only pray they would make up soon because evidently Emily wouldn’t take a break-up to well.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I reached for it.
“I’m sorry. You did nothing wrong I’m just a selfish jerk. If you still want to come over I would appreciate that. Like right now. –Harry,xx.”
His message left me confused but I didn’t question it.
“El, I need a favor.”
“Sure, what is it?” She turned her attention to me.
“I need you to drive me somewhere. Now.” I chewed on my lip, expecting a no straight away. Who would want to spent their lunch in a car.
“Where?”
“Harry’s apartment.” I spoke timidly.
“I noticed he wasn’t around today.” She nodded, “Let’s go.” She surprised me.
I smiled as she gathered her things and we waved at the others saying I needed to leave.
“Thank you so much, El.” I spoke honestly, closing the door of her car and fastening my seat belt.
“No problem girl.” She smiled.
“I wonder what would I do if I didn’t meet you the day I first came to this school.” I sighed.
I was so nervous that day, I bet I would’ve lost myself in the hallways even before my first class started. I was lucky to meet El and the group.
“You would’ve met me the day after.” She winked.
She always dealt with everything with such ease, like she never worried about anything and had everything under control. I admired that about her.
“I’m glad I met you El, you’ve helped me a lot while I’ve been here.” I told her.
“I’m happy I met you too. I mean having a friend from Portugal, cool isn’t it?” She laughed and I soon joined her.
I told her the directions and after about 20 minutes she pulled over in front of Harry’s apartment.
“If you need anything just call me, okay?” She said seriously.
I nodded, “Thanks again.” I waved at her and headed towards the building.
I took a deep breath as I stepped out of the elevator. For some reason I was nervous to face him. Something was different about him during the call that morning, he sounded so cold, weak and lifeless almost. But I had nothing to be afraid of; it was my Harry and even if he had something to say that would hurt me I would still go and listen and make sure he was alright.
I brought my small wrist up and softly knocked on the door. Surprisingly the knock was heard and soon the door was open.
Harry was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie; no shoes, socks or anything. Looking up at him I noticed his eyes were lightly red.
“Hey.” I said quietly, afraid that he would just shut the door in my face. Can’t blame me after the way he acted that morning.
He looked down, then back in my eyes before stepping forward and embracing me in the warmth of his hug. I instantly felt relieved and at ease.
Fisting the fabric of his hoodie between my small, cold fingers I hugged him tighter.
After a couple of seconds he pulled away and closed the door behind me.
“Hi sunshine. I’m sorry about-“
“It doesn’t matter. Tell me what is going on.” I cut him off, sitting down on the couch in his living room. He reached for me and pulled me closer so I was snuggled against his side.
“It’s hard for me and I just…” He paused and I frowned in utter confusion.
“What? I don’t understand.” I said looking up at him. He sighed deeply.
“It’s been eight years since he died.” He said and I felt my eyes widen, I quickly looked down at my hands. He didn’t need to explain who he was talking about, I knew it was his brother. Looking up I found him already staring at me.
“I’m so sorry, Harry.” I said sincerely, taking his hand in mine.
He brought my hand to his soft lips before he spoke.
“I just don’t know how to deal with this. It’s been eight whole years and I still don’t know how to deal with this.” He shook his head.
“It’s okay, Harry. It’s okay to feel lost and hurt about this.” I spoke, feeling the lump in my throat starting to form.
“I used to lock myself in my room and just shut everyone out. Last year when I moved here I refused to go back on this day, it brought too many memories that I was trying to forget. So my mother, Gemma and Robin came here but this year my mom got sick and they couldn’t come so I’m here alone, again.” He spoke, not meeting my eyes.
“I’m sorry I shut you out…That’s just how I deal with this. But when I heard your voice saying that you were sorry I felt horrible because you did nothing wrong-“
I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. I didn’t need him to explain why he acted like that. I needed to kiss him, to take his pain away. Even if it didn’t work I would still try.
I felt it, as I kissed his soft lips. I felt his pain and how much he missed his brother. I felt something tickle my skin and realized a tear had slipped my eye. I pulled away and quickly wiped it away.
“Baby, don’t cry.” He whispered against my lips.
“I’m sorry, I just…it hurts to see you like this.” I buried my head into his neck.
“I don’t want to be the reason for you tears again.” He kissed my temple, “It’s easier when you’re here.” He whispered, and I planted a small kiss on his skin.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked cautiously.
After a moment of silence he answered.
“No, I just want to hold you.”
I was an uncommon feeling for me to be comforting Harry. Usually he was the strong one, protecting me from the world. But it felt good, indeed, to know that I was making the person I cared do much about, feel better.
I reeeeeally hope you liked it, let me know in the comments!
I have two questions this time is:
-Do you think the boys will win for MTV stars?
I honestly think that they will, I've been voting like crazy.
-What do you think about Hendall (Harry+Kendall) ?
Now this is a touchy subject for this fandom, honestly I don't ship them but I don't hate on them or anything either. It's their business but I would like her to back the fuck off hahahha sorry
Follow, vote & COMMENT.
-Valerie, xx