29; Recovery
The light of new opportunities and happiness that had only just begun to glow was extinguished returning the world to utter darkness. What had once seemed lively and exciting was now grim and unwelcoming. The world lacked color and the people in it lacked emotion.
Eleanor Rose glanced at her reflection in the mirror unable to keep eye contact with her stony and sullen eyes. What she saw there was exhaustion and sadness appearing in the creases beside her eyes and the frown lines on her forehead. It was a feeling she felt too often and could never seem to overcome.
"That is a very pretty dress, El. I'm so glad I asked them to check in the back for your size otherwise you would have had to wear that green lace one. I can't believe they even presented it to us. It was hideous. Can you imagine-"
"Natasha," Andrew Paxton silenced his wife and shook his head. His glasses slipped down to the tip of his nose and he pushed them back up with the tip of his pointer finger. His voice lowered into a whisper but El could still hear him from across the room, "I don't think she cares about the dress she's wearing right now."
"But I was just-"
"Why don't you go see if the doctors have called to update us on Paul yet," he advised and with a frown she dropped the cardigan she held in her hands on to the bed and walked out of the room.
El shakily brushed off the nonexistent dust from her dress and only stopped when her fathers hand placed itself on her shoulder. "I know this can't have been an easy week for you- hell an easy nine years, but I'm here for you."
Maybe a few days ago she would have smiled at his heartfelt words but right now she lacked the energy to do the simple gesture.
"You don't have to do this alone, sweetheart."
She exhaled loudly and straightened out the dress once more. It's halter neckline stopped just above her collarbones and the slightly flared out bottom reached her knees. Its color was so deep a black it appeared to be a mix of blue and purple. It was lovely to the eyes of others but to her it looked dull.
When she didn't respond he sighed and his hand fell back to his side. "I only want to help you. I know this hurts but I want to make sure at some point you'll be able to move on and be happy. I've seen what depression can do to a person and I can't just stand by and see it happen to you."
She wanted to scoff and laugh hysterically at his words. El knew he meant well but he had no idea what depression she had suffered in her lifetime. It all started with Eichen House and how he had just allowed her mother to put her in there. She could joke about it and play it off like it hadn't been so terrible, but she contained within her memories of how horrific it really was. And where was he all that time? Not calling or visiting that's for sure. As far as she knew he'd never attempted to take her out and bring her home at all.
"I won't be alone," she spoke dryly. "Other people will be there."
"Just because people are around you doesn't mean they're there for you."
She knew that all too well.
"Isaac will be there. I'll be fine." El tore her eyes away from her reflection once more and went to her dresser. She pointlessly organized the cluttered surface and grabbed the folded piece of paper sitting on top of it all. Her fingers skimmed over its edges before she delicately placed it into her cardigan's pocket.
"Are you sure?" He questioned further.
"I'm sure. A friend is coming to pick me up so we can go together."
Conceding he nodded his head. "Okay, as long as you're alright. Which friend are we talking about anyways? Is it that boy I met at the hospital? What was his name? Shane? Shaun?"
Her eyes lifted from their intent gaze on the floor to look at his quizzical expression, "Scott?"
"Yes, yes that's him. He's McCall's boy," he chuckled dryly, "no wonder he left your mother speechless."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing," he waved her off with a small smile. "Anyways, when you were in hospital for your head injury he came and visited you before you woke up. Your mother nearly killed him when she walked in and saw him sitting beside your bed. He struck me as a nice boy. I thought it was kind of him to visit you."
Her mind went back to that day. Prior to waking up from her coma, she remembered being able to hear all the voices of people talking, but none of them had been Scott's.
"How come nobody told me?"
He shrugged, "honestly, it slipped my mind. I suppose I figured he might have mentioned it to you but he had been there visiting Isaac as well so maybe he forgot to tell you."
"Maybe," she murmured and was derailed from her train of thought by the ringing of the doorbell. The musical sound echoed through out the entire house and she pulled on her cardigan, "that's him."
"If you need anything you know where to find me." He cast a concerned gaze on her and she was determined to not be the first one to look away to give anything away. El didn't need his hovering or anyone else's for that matter. She was tired and hurt and needed to clear her head without the constant presence of someone worrying over her shoulder.
Contorting her lips and cheeks upward into an uncompromising toothy grin she immediately saw him relax and move towards her to embrace her. Stiffly she allowed him to hug her. "I might be home a little late. Don't wait up."
Releasing the hold he had around her, she descended the stairs step by step. Her sore muscles screamed in agony each time she moved but she ignored it. Her face must have looked tight with pain but she did her best to conceal it. At the bottom of the stairs, she turned and waved back at her father. His expression told her he wasn't entirely convinced she was as okay as she had made it seem.
He was right to think that. She wasn't okay. Not even a little bit.
Before he could object to her going without him she walked away and toward the front door. The bell rang again impatiently and Joey's voice sounded as he called out "I got it!"
She quickened her pace to get there before him wincing with each step she took. Inevitably, he reached the door seconds before her and pulled it open wearing a big kind smile for her guest. Upon seeing the person standing on the porch all traces of it disappeared.
"Joey, I thought you left already," she told him somewhat awkwardly as he began to glare. "You're going to miss your bus if you don't go. You have to go if you want to receive the grade, graduate school, and become a doctor," she rambled on trying to find a way to dismiss him.
"You just went through something horrific, El," he replied without looking at her. "Mexico will always be here but you won't. I can't just leave you at a time like this, so stop trying to get rid of me."
She hesitated to say something else. Maybe she could demand him to go or she'd never speak to him again or start to cry or hit him. However, she knew in that moment it wasn't her keeping him in his place.
"Alright then," she spoke and gave him a side hug before stepping out of the safety of her home. "If you're gone before I get back, which you better be, then remember to take care of yourself. Which means healthy meals and good nights rest. And don't forget your tooth brush. Call me as soon as you can, okay?"
Reluctantly a ghost of a grin broke through his scowl, "yes, mother."
Her heart ached as he pulled away from their hug. He must have thought she was being silly and overprotective. He just didn't know how much she had lost in such little time. She knew she wouldn't be able to survive if she lost him too.
"I'll miss you, big brother."
"I'll miss you too, kid."
She really wished he didn't have to go and she knew with one word he would tear up his ticket without hesitation. El pondered the idea for a while, but in the end, she knew she couldn't prevent him from pursuing his dreams. It wouldn't be fair to him.
Clearing his throat, El's attention snapped to her "friend" as she had so kindly put it. He stood on the porch awkwardly while they had their brother-sister moment. She was surprised to see him dressed formally. The occasion called for a nice shirt and slacks but still she hadn't imagined he would conform to that universal rule.
"Hey, Derek."
He managed to smile under Joey's deadly glare. It was odd and almost uncomfortable to see the smile replacing his usual frown. "Anything for a friend," he drawled teasingly despite his words of advice from the other day.
Friends of his didn't have a long life expectancy, and she had to agree.
Joey scoffed. "What would you know about being a friend?" He muttered under his breath, but only Derek had been able to catch it with his heightened hearing.
His taunting smile faltered as he looked at his childhood friend. His arm extended towards El wanting nothing more than to leave the tense situation, "Shall we?"
"Yeah," she murmured lowly, "we'll be late if we don't go now."
He offered his support as she hobbled down her driveway limping with each step she took. She'd had a couple of days to recover since the night at the school but still her body felt like it had been put though a meat grinder. If it wasn't because she had too much power it was because she had too little.
"Hey, Hale!" Joey called and Derek looked over his shoulder. "Take care of my sister."
The blue-eyed wolf nodded solemnly in an unspoken promise. Gritting her teeth she sank into the passenger seat of his car and buckled her seat belt as he went around to the driver's side.
"Ready?"
"No."
He felt somewhat honored that she was honest with him. Not only was she one of the most respected and praised supernatural beings in existence, she also considered him as a friend. For Derek Hale, that didn't happen often.
His car roared to life as he peeled out of her driveway taking the quickest route to their destination. "They've been trying to get a hold of you," he spoke up and peered at her before returning his eyes to the road. "Everyone wants to know if you're okay."
"I need time to recover on my own. I still need time. Is that too much to ask?"
"Not at all, but if you haven't noticed they're all attached at the hip. There's no such thing as separation."
"Yeah, I think that's an understatement."
"Try not to be so critical of them. That night... at the school, it looked like we had lost you. You wouldn't wake up and your heartbeat was so slow. We really thought you were going to die, El. And then we didn't hear from you for a couple days and we didn't know what to think."
"I can take care of myself, you know? I don't need them hovering over me like I'm some fragile porcelain doll." She grumbled in response and crossed her arms over her chest.
"You know that's not what they think. It's them who need you, especially Isaac. You're his family."
She sighed, "I know. It just hurts too much. First, it was Alli-" she stopped unable to say her name, "and then Aiden. I was there before the Oni got to them. I could have done something to help them. I could have stopped them from dying. Then Ethan would still have his brother and... she would still be here too."
"There's nothing you or anyone could have done to save them. These things happen. People die and others live a really unfair amount of time, but we have no control over that. There's no point in driving yourself crazy wondering what you could have done differently."
"I don't think I can do this for the rest of my life," her voice cracked as she fidgeted with her fingers.
"How about we just get through today? We can worry about the rest of your life another day."
She nodded and leaned her head against the window. Dread formed in her stomach as he turned into a gated area. The sign beside the entrance read: Beacon Hills Cemetery.
➢
"Has anyone heard from her?"
The group of five looked at the empty chair reserved beside Lydia. Their eyes drifted to Isaac and he shrugged rubbing a hand over his tired face. "She hasn't answered my calls."
Stiles began to pop his fingers drawing irritated glances from those surrounding him. His father leaned forward from behind and placed a hand on his shoulder. A silent conversation was spoken between the two and the fidgety boy ceased his movement.
"She has to be here," Scott grumbled pulling at his tie that seemed to get tighter by the second.
Isaac leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees. "She doesn't have to do anything after what she did for all of us."
"It's not like she died," Kira muttered under her breath and Isaac's blazing cerulean stare snapped to her. "You don't get an opinion. You brought the nogitsune back. You're the reason this happened."
The fox gaped and sputtered to say something in defense of herself when no one else did. Under the intensity of the wolfs glare, she looked to Scott hoping he'd come to her rescue but he refused to even glance in her direction.
"She could have at least let us know if she was alright," Stiles added bitterly.
"Before or after we left her unconscious body on her doorstep?" Isaac snapped. "Besides, you don't really care. You're only asking because it's you she risked her life saving."
"You know what Lahey?" Stiles bit back rising from his seat.
Isaac rolled his eyes, as if Stiles could actually cause him any harm. "What Stilinski?"
"Enough," the banshee sneered and the two shut their mouths instantaneously. "You will not ruin this. You can argue all you want after today, but right now you will shut up. If El decides to come to Allison's funeral that's her own decision."
Lydia gave Stiles an impatient look and he sat back down beside her sulkily. Neither of them dared argue with her especially not now.
"Ladies and gentlemen if you'll please take your seats we'll begin the service in a few moments," the pastor announced and all the neighbors, supportive classmates, teachers, and friends who attended settled down into their seats.
Only one person sat in the front other than the five teens. Chris Argent held his head high though his eyes were red and tired. Next to him was a single chair he had placed by his side for his late wife. He hoped she would be there to greet their daughter in the afterlife until one day he joined them too.
A small gust of wind blew through the cemetery creating a whistle in the trees. Lydia breathed in deep and tilted her head up to the clear blue sky. She could almost hear Allison's voice, smile she would say, someone could be falling in love with it.
Suddenly Isaac stood abruptly from his seat and strode away from the group. All their eyes followed him stopping as he embraced a girl that looked a lot like Eleanor Paxton but not like her at the same time. Scott stood from his seat as well but he stayed where he was only looking as Isaac frantically scanned over his best friend to make sure she was alright.
A tense Derek Hale stood closely to her side watching everyone with a hard glare. The former alpha took a seat at the very back and kept a close eye on the gypsy as she moved towards the front. In her hand was a white piece of paper she held closely to her chest.
"We didn't think you would come," Stiles reached out for her hand and tried to help as she struggled to sit in the plastic chair. She flinched away, images of the nogitsune flashing in her mind.
With sad eyes, his hand fell back onto his lap. There were so many things they all wanted to say to her. From questions to a simple thank you for saving all of their lives, but neither of them could bring themselves to speak. When she finally managed to lower herself down on to the chair Isaac's arm went protectively around her shoulder making her seem smaller in his embrace.
Two days has passed since they'd last seen her and somehow she was like an entirely different person. The dark shadows under her pale mint eyes adhered to the assumption that she hadn't slept much and the way her black dress hung on her loosely made them believe she hadn't eaten either. Her ghastly appearance was one she unwillingly wore often these days.
As much as she wanted to look away her gaze stayed trained on the cherry wood casket placed upon the stand. It was adorned with what seemed like hundreds of flowers ranging in all types of colors.
"I had to say goodbye," she murmured in an empty voice catching them all by surprise.
"Family and friends," the pastor began silencing everyone's quieted chatting, "we are here today not to mourn but to remember and celebrate the life of a beautiful young women by name of Allison Argent."
The sound of her name hit them all in the chest knocking the very air out of them. Lydia leaned forward and what little strength she had disappeared as she began to silently sob. She could still feel the scream of her name burning in the back of her throat branding itself in her memories. Slowly and hesitantly, El's hand raised and she settled on Lydia's shoulder. The banshees red and swollen eyes snapped to her, but she said nothing nor did she move El's hand.
The pastor stepped down from the pulpit by the request of Chris Argent. He knew his daughter wouldn't want some random person droning on about how she was in a better place and about how heaven had gained another angel. While both of those were probably true, they seemed too cliche to express the loss of the magnificent person she was.
He rose to the stand and stared out at the people who had gathered to honor his daughter. Some he didn't recognize and others he knew all too well. "When we moved to Beacon Hills I never expected my daughter would find another family outside of home. We moved around so often that no one ever got the chance to know her, but that changed here. At first, I was hesitant. Scared- that she would get hurt or that I would lose her..."
His fists clenched the wooden stand, "But she was happy. She found herself here. Allison became this strong and compassionate women who never backed down when it came to protecting and loving the people around her, me especially. She changed me and made me a better person. If it weren't for her I hate to think of where I'd be right now. Allison protected me from being all the worst parts of myself. To my daughter, I owe everything."
Argent backed down from the podium and with a longing glance grazed his hand up against the sleek frame of the coffin. El met his eyes as he made his way back to his chair. He nodded once in what seemed to be appreciation. If that's really what it was she didn't know why. It was her who was grateful. Allison had done so much for her when she didn't have anything to offer in return.
It seemed nearly the entire crowd in attendance had gone up to say something on Allison's behalf. They all spoke about how she was fiercely loyal, brave, and even a little bit rebellious. They didn't know the half of it. She was a hero. Allison saved lives. That's what she should be getting remembered for, but they could never know that.
When it was her turn, El shook her head and allowed the mic to be passed on. She had nothing to say that hadn't already been said. What she really needed them to hear was too much for them to know.
Holding a large arrangement of flowers the pastor walked among the isles giving them out to each person. He handed her one that she'd never seen before. It's magenta color was nearly pink and bright against her pale hands.
"An orchid," Isaac told her in a far away voice as if remembering a distant memory, "her favorite."
In his hand, he carried a deep red rose. He hummed not managing a laugh, "she hated these."
He didn't seem upset yet his words were sad to her. "I'll trade you."
Isaac shook his head and made a face as if not understanding why she'd ever offer that. "Don't. It'll be my last little joke to her."
He helped her up from her chair and kept a close distance behind her as they walked up to the coffin along with everyone else. El's hands began to shake as she took the white envelope from her coat pocket and held it with the orchid. I don't think I can do this.
I need to be strong. Stronger. How do I do it? Maybe I can't.
Her head began to spin and for a moment she felt as if she was going to faint. The flower and note began to slip from her fingers and her vision began to blotch up with black dots. "I got you," his voice slipped into her ear and immediately her senses were on high alert. Scott's presence at her side pulled her from near unconscious as he held her softly by the hand.
He urged her forward until the both of them stood right in front of the closed coffin. The thought of Allison nearly inches away from them but yet so far out of reach left a gaping hole in their hearts. Scott closed his eyes and mouthed a few silent words before laying the white daisy amongst the other flowers. He didn't move from his spot as her hand reached out to do the same placing the white paper beside the orchid. "Goodbye," she whispered and saw Scott tense up.
He pulled his hand away lightly but urgently. She didn't allow it to hurt her. Not now when today was about Allison and only Allison. She looked towards the coffin one final time and knew she'd be leaving a part of herself to be buried alongside her.
"C'mon El," Isaac helped her down from the stand as he reluctantly left Allison's side. Her eyes trailed back to Scott undecided on what to do about him when there was nothing for her to do at all. "Leave him," he murmured and pulled her away towards Lydia, Kira, and Stiles.
"What was that paper you had?" Isaac asked and she shrugged. "A letter to Allison. It's between me and her so don't bother asking because I won't tell you what it said."
He raised his hands in surrender, "okay, I won't."
As they caught up with the others, Kira casted her a look that El chose to ignore. Now wasn't the time for petty rivalry. They all stood in silence not knowing what to say that would be appropriate.
"Where's Derek?" El asked suddenly and looked around for the brooding wolf. Finally, she found him beside Argent. If anyone knew what it felt like to lose someone it was the two of them. "He's planning on leaving to France," Isaac said articulating each word and she frowned. "Who? Derek?"
"No, Argent."
"Oh, I can't imagine why he would stay."
Isaac nodded his head, "I was thinking- I don't know. Maybe I would-"
"Oh my god," Lydia gasped loud enough for the two of them to hear. Isaac whirled around on the defense searching the area for the incoming threat. He ushered El behind him and on one hand there was now claws. "What's wrong?"
He didn't respond and she turned to Stiles questioningly. His brown eyes glared at the person approaching them, "what's he doing here?" he snapped.
Lydia gaped, "I invited him. He was Allison's friend too."
"Friend," Stiles scoffed and was stifled quiet as the blue-eyed boy reached them.
"Yeah, Stilinski," he remarked in a challenging tone, "she was my friend."
Stiles said nothing else and El took the opportunity to look at Allison's friend. The faint crease lines beside his mouth told her he wore a constant smirk and the rest of him didn't make that hard to believe. "I missed you," Lydia wept and she rushed into his embrace.
"I know, I'm sorry. I came as soon as I got your message. I'm so sorry, Lyd."
El looked up at Isaac, but his own eyes were trained on his feet. She tugged at his coat but he refused to look up. She moved around him so that it was her now standing in his defense. "Who are you?" El demanded and the spiteful blue eyes flicked to her.
"Who are you?" He elicited with an equal amount of edge in his voice.
Her eyes narrowed obstinately. "El."
With Lydia still wrapped up in his arms he stepped toward her calculatingly. She didn't back down. "Like the letter L?"
"Like short for the name Eleanor."
The tense stare down relented as he backed away now wearing a heart stopping grin. He chuckled at her confused expression, "you're like Ally in that way. She never backed down. Not even when I used my alluring charm on her."
"The only thing alluring about you is the stench you call cologne."
Stiles snorted and smothered a laugh that he choked back down as the boy shot him a glare. Isaac cracked a smile and El looked over her shoulder at him proudly.
"I like you very much, El. I'm Jackson, Jackson Whittemore."
Her eyes widened.
"I take it you've heard of me?"
Narcissist. Asshole. Popular jock. Lydia's ex. Scott's rival. Homicidal lizard. Omega werewolf.
"Nope, doesn't ring a bell."
Grabbing Isaac by the wrist she dragged him away from the group. "Thanks for that. I don't think anyone's ever denied Jackson the attention he craves."
"There's always a first, right? So what were you saying before he interrupted you?"
Isaac ducked his head and waved her off, "oh n-nothing important."
El nodded her head and sighed. "I don't even know what to do anymore. Where do we go from here?"
"Forward," He answered. "We move forward."
The two watched from afar as the coffin was lowered into the ground. El felt her heart constrict but with her best friend by her side she was at least floating in the endless sea that was her pain. "That's a lot easier said than done, Lahey."
The marble tombstone above the fresh grave glinted in the sun. Engraved in the grey stone was Allison's name and one simple phrase: nous protégeons ceux qui ne peuvent pas se protéger eux-mêmes.
We protect those who cannot protect themselves.
"Then at least we have each other, Paxton."
[Author's Note]
You know the reason I took so long to publish this chapter is partly because of school and mostly because I wanted it to be great.
I think I pretty much failed at that but I tried. I've had some pretty intense writers block and have even considered discontinuing Violent Creatures indefinitely.
But I know that would be a huge mistake so I won't. Don't panic. This book is my baby and I could never just drop it.
Any who, I hoped you liked this chapter. They never showed what Allison's funeral would be like so I kinda just dabbled on it. I didn't want to overwrite it and make it too over dramatic so I hope it's all right.
Moving on, there is one idea I'd like to talk to you all about. So recently I had a few people message me and ask me to read their books. They told me they were sorry they were bothering me before I even responded which I think is crazy.
When I first got on Wattpad I was literally dying for someone to read my books. I mean I still am! It sucks how the people who have these really amazing stories don't get the recognition and spotlight they deserve.
So I decided on each chapter I will showcase one or two books by people you recommend to me. I don't mean books with 1m reads (I think they've gotten their recognition). For now let's keep it strictly teen wolf or the vampire diaries since those are basically the only two shows I watch. But of course I'll check out anything else you tell me about!
If you know of an awesome book or if you're writing one let me know! Everyone deserves a chance to have their books read. It took me 3 years to actually get some traction and I wish someone had helped me out.
QOTU: Clinton or Trump? (No judgment just curious)