24
Dennise took all the time in the world to stare at her girlfriend's sleeping face. Though she was very careful not to make any noise and wake her up, she also wanted to get herself in between her arms, snuggle against her or even just exchange good nights with her.
She sighed and slowly crept in the bed. She laid herself down with Alyssa's back turned against her. She went still, both hands pressed on her sides, eyes on the ceiling. Dennise paced with Alyssa's peaceful breathing but she just could not get herself to sleep too.
It was past eleven. Alyssa insisted that she would wait and every time she says so, Dennise knows Alyssa will. Only this time, she found her on their bed with her phone clutched in her hand.
Dennise smiled at the thought that she even almost became annoyed that her girlfriend failed to reply to her recent text message.
"Hay nako. Hindi kita matiis, Valdez." She coyed. They've been together for quite some time now but still, she falls for the other more and more.
Dennise propped herself to her left and planted Alyssa a kiss on her cheek. The other stirred, smiled and returned the favor by tenderly kissing Den's lips.
"Kanina ka pa?"
"Medyo? Sleep ka na. Sorry. I just missed you, girlfriend." Dennise threw the duvet on Alyssa before she carefully placed her head near her girlfriend's chest, wanting Alyssa to cuddle her.
"I love you too." Alyssa murmured. She ran her long fingers through Den's lemon scented hair before planting another kiss on her head. "Inaantok ka na ba, Den?"
"Oh, no. We are not going out this late, hon." Dennise discouraged, remembering that one time Alyssa had a sudden ramen craving at twelve midnight. "What is it this time? You're not pregnant, are you?"
"I believe na kahit gabi-gabihin natin-"
"Ang?"
"You know, making-"
"Hold it, Valdez!" Dennise blindly mapped Alyssa's face so she could put a hand on her mouth. "Matulog ka na nga lang!"
"Let me see your face, Den. Pula mo na naman siguro!" Alyssa teased.
"Matulog na tayo, Ly. H'wag mo nang balakin. I'm on my period."
"You're so adorable, hon. Hindi naman po."
"Yung kamay mo... is under my shirt." Dennise caught Alyssa's roaming hand and moved it back to her side.
"Denden, we both know that your hormones are working double time. Alam mo 'yun, let me enjoy those mounts."
"Ly!" Dennise elbowed her grinning girlfriend and gave her the meanest look.
Only her knitted eyebrows soon softened up when Alyssa smiled against her forehead.
"You are going to say something. Ano 'yun, Ly?"
"Meron ba?" Her girlfriend tucked her hair behind her ear.
"I know those eyes." Dennise sighed and watched the colors of Alyssa's eyes blink at her. "What is it, hon?"
Alyssa let her little dimple show before she pressed Den's head gently against her chest again. Her palm stayed on Den's face, caressing her soft cheek.
"She was at the office today, Dennise."
Dennise remained silent. She could not remember exactly how the night talks were all about Laura again. It would have been easier to keep the thoughts at the back of her head if the talks involved Alyssa going home late or Den's busy schedule or the little arguments that never mattered to her anyway.
"And... we'll be working with her."
"Great," Dennise reached to cup Alyssa's face. "Anong problema roon, Ly?"
"Wala naman sa akin 'yun." Alyssa let out a small chuckle. "Baka kasi-"
"I'm not." Dennise looked up to meet her girl's eyes. "I am not."
"Okay, Den. Sorry. Ayoko lang isipin mo kasi."
"Bakit ko iisipin e hindi naman na totoo?"
"Right. Of course, love."
"So... okay ka na with her? Have you apologized?"
"For?"
"Sa restaurant noon?"
"Oh... that."
"You should, Alyssa. That was really rude. Kung 'di ko nga alam, I'd think na you're not really over her."
"Den..."
"I know, hon. I know you are. Galit ka na lang for she left you. But you got to forgive her too, okay? Everyone has moved on from it. And ako..."
"Ikaw?"
"I want to thank her too. If it was not for her, hindi kita yakap ngayon."
Alyssa loved the sweet lemon scent of Den's hair that she breathed on it as she kissed her.
"And I cannot thank you enough for loving me so much, Dennise."
And how could Alyssa even ask for more?
*
Deciding to surprise visit their first and busiest branch in the heart of Manila, Alyssa parked at the empty slot.
The heavy rain continued to bless the city as it poured nonstop since noontime. Alyssa grabbed her coat and quickly fled under the rain and to the nearest shed of the three-storey building. The café occupies the second floor and it was nice to see the patron enjoying the place.
The security guard immediately pulled the door open for Alyssa and greeted her a good afternoon even.
"Lau?" She blinked twice. She had not seen her in the longest time but there was no way Alyssa would miss her physiques amongst a bunch of customers.
As if Laura heard her name being called quietly, she turned around slowly and spotted Alyssa at the door.
"Hi, Alyssa."
"What are you doing here?" Alyssa asked in a manner that was in stark contrast to how she acted few days ago.
"Umuulan kasi eh. I wanted to feel nostalgic lang."
"Oh..." She wanted to stop her fingers from fumbling with her car keys but she could not help it.
Laura was in front of her. Smiling. And all Alyssa was was flustered.
"Ikaw? Ocular inspection?"
"Perhaps..." Alyssa tried to conjure a smile. It hurt her cheeks. "Stay for awhile then. It's on me."
Shit, Valdez.
"No, okay lang. I might be holding you back."
"It would be absurd if nandito ka, andito ako and yet we wouldn't be sharing a table."
SHIT, ALYSSA VALDEZ
"If you say so..."
Laura scanned the area for a table. She nodded slightly then returned her eyes to Alyssa.
"Well, of course..." Alyssa said like she knew exactly what the other one was thinking. Of course, it would always be that one corner spot against the window. Laura loved the bed of roses from below.
"It's still there," Laura dragged a chair for herself and sat across Alyssa. The latter raised a curious eyebrow at her. "The painting at the entrance."
Alyssa mouthed an oh. She had no idea what she should reply so she just let the first thing in her head slip away from her mouth.
"Babawiin mo na ba?"
"No." Laura laughed, and hell, Alyssa wished her laugh was not as lovely as Laura. It was and it did not help Alyssa at all. "I gave it to you. I did not know you kept it. Sabi mo kasi, ilalagay mo na lang sa unit mo since ang daming interested na bilhin yun."
"Yeah..." Alyssa blinked.
She actually had thought of that but that damn painting Laura gave her on their first year together held all the precious memories they both had with each other and Alyssa needed none of it.
Since both of them had gone silent again, they both decided to order. A server attended them courteously, a little intimidated and perplexed that it was Alyssa Valdez. Little did he know that he just became their topic as soon as he left their table.
"He's probably new." Alyssa shrugged.
"Ikaw kasi eh. You weren't smiling." Laura pointed out as she offered one of her own.
Alyssa had the chance not to look at her when her phone beeped a message but instead, she stared.
She stared and was reminded of how breathtakingly beautiful Laura would always be to her. During the past days, Alyssa had had encounters with Laura at the office all for their business agendas. But only it was today that she dared to let her eyes appreciate her.
Laura's freckles where glowing against her white skin and Alyssa noticed how bare her face was. No makeups, nothing. And yet, she looked like someone straight from the Greek stories about goddesses she had learned in high school world literature.
"Aly?"
"Yeah?"
How long was she staring?!
"Ganda ko, 'no?"
Alyssa's forehead creased and her flustering became more obvious. Laura must have noticed that she immediately followed her question with a chuckle.
"It's been raining lately." Laura added, pushing her loosely hanging hair behind her shoulders. Some of her curls fell in front of her face still when she tipped her head a little. Alyssa's lips finally curled upwards as she noticed Laura pout.
"Oo nga eh. And you still ordered a gelato instead of a coffee." Alyssa planted her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her palm. She was rather impressed that after all this time, Laura still loved ice creams. On rainy days.
"A favorite is always favorite." Laura playfully rolled her eyes. "Are you sure I am not holding you back?"
"Not at all."
It was three in the afternoon. She was actually planning to buy groceries and also prepare dinner, preferably steak and potatoes, for Dennise but here she was, chatting idly with Laura.
Over her cup of americano and Laura's flavored gelato, she felt home. At least, the kind of homey feeling Laura provided years ago.
Alyssa took the last bite of her cheesecake in her mouth. The raindrops raced down the glass window and she watched Laura's delight as she traced down each.
The other probably caught her smiling that she stopped what she was doing to look across the table.
"You know you can go. Wala ng ulan."
"And what about you?"
"I will visit Mom."
"I'll go with you." Alyssa offered and she did not want to exaggerate things but maybe she saw how Laura's face lit up. It made her happy too.
"Really?"
"Yeah. It's been a while since I last visited her. Let's buy flowers muna. Carnations were her favorite, right?"
Laura smiled thankfully.
Alyssa briefly had a quick talk with the branch manager first before they set off to a nearby flower boutique.
Alyssa bought the carnations, even if Laura disapproved of it. She was actually pouting when Alyssa handed out the cash to the cashier lady.
"Come on. Para kay Tita naman. Hayaan mo na ako." Alyssa pinched her nose. And it was only when Laura grabbed her hand that she realized what she just did. Because in that moment, they were back to how it used to be for them.
"Thanks, Ly..." Laura let go of her hand. Somehow, she wished she did not.
"I'll get Den some tulips din pala. She will love it." Alyssa awkwardly tucked her hand inside her pocket and walked around the boutique for her girlfriend's favorite flowers.
After having it arranged into a lovely bouquet, they drove to visit Laura's Mom's grave.
The memorial park in lush green was quiet and peaceful as they walked side by side towards the eastern part where the grave was. Alyssa was holding the flowers in her hands while Laura had the candles they also bought in hers. They were not talking, in fact, they had not talked much upon leaving the boutique.
"I miss Mom." She lit the candles and had it rooted on the shallow glasses. She swept the dried Acacia leaves to the side before Alyssa placed the carnations beside the name of Laura's mom.
"I do too."
"Ly?" Laura's shoulder bumped with hers when the former stood up again.
"Laura."
Alyssa mentioned the name that summoned all the huge waves crashing down on her again, taking her away back to her past. Or their past.
Her hand moved before she could stop herself. She used her thumb to wipe Laura's tears. And maybe what made her do it was because she saw how those tears were not meant for her. It was for her mom.
"I wish she was still here." Laura sobbed.
Alyssa remembered her not as the crybaby because she never was.
So Laura crying tugged her heart and twisted every string in it. It was almost physically painful. It was painful to be standing a couple of feet away from her and not hug her and kiss her eyes and remind her it would be all right, like what she did when they were at the bedside watching Laura's mom die. She wanted to tell her, again, how she would always be there for her when no one else would. However, Alyssa said no promise. She just wiped Laura's tears with her thumb.
"I bet she is happy watching over her daughter. She is very proud of you, Lau. I know she is."
"You do?"
"Of course. And also, I know na masaya siya for in few months, someone is going to love you for the rest of your life."
God, it hurt.
And it hurt even more when Laura looked at her straight in the eyes.
"I know she is." Alyssa repeated.
After saying a short prayer, the two walked back to their cars and bade their goodbyes.
However, few moments after they departed, Alyssa noticed Laura's car pulled over in a curb. She slowed down to peer through the tinted windows of the black sedan. It seemed like Laura was not there. The engine was dead even.
Naturally, it worried Alyssa. She parked her car in front of Laura's and quickly climbed out of it to check on the other girl.
She was not there.
"Ly!"
And then she was. With some children who were all jumping and waving at her.
"Come over here! Join us!" Laura shouted across the field. The kids waved their softball bats and mitts too.
Softball and kids. Laura loved those both.
"Tara, Ly?" Laura jogged to her with a huge grin that grew even bigger as she neared Alyssa.
"Seryoso ka ba?"
"I found the kids playing so I joined. Sali ka na para it's even with the teams."
She was not wearing the smartest outfit to play softball so Alyssa was reluctant. She was wearing a denim long sleeves and pants paired with her high heels.
"Come on, Ly." Laura framed her cheeks in between her palms before she gently removed Alyssa's eyeglasses. The gesture was enough to make the other terribly conscious. "Go and change into your slip-ons. I know you always keep a pair. And you don't need this."
Laura freed her from her denim, doing each button slowly until she realized that there was no undershirt.
"Next time, you can just ask..." Alyssa suggested teasingly.
"Edi next time, I will." Laura winked before she opened Alyssa's car door and pushed the taller one inside. "Bihis ka na, dali!"
And that was how Alyssa spent another hour running after Laura with a ball in her hand as the latter loved stealing bases. The game ended with Laura's team winning against Alyssa's after three innings.
"O, dahil talo si Ate Ly, magpapa-ice cream siyaaa!" Laura announced much to the delight of the kids.
"Lau! Ice cream? E nagpaulan tayo?"
"Ambon lang yun, Alyssa. Tsaka talo ka kaya, 'di ba? And the kids want ice cream!"
"Kids nga lang ba?" Alyssa sighed in defeat. She called the sorbetes vendor and paid him a good amount to serve ice cream to the kids, and of course, Laura.
"Grabe. That was fun!" Laura who could not get over how she made the winning play licked her ice cream happily.
"Yabang! Bawiin ko yang ice cream mo eh." Alyssa huffed.
Now at the nearby chikdren's park, the two sat on the bench swing.
Laura was sitting with her legs crossed while Alyssa was idly pushing the swing against the ground. It was almost sunset.
"How's Vince?" Alyssa had been meaning to ask the question since Laura's return but only found the courage today.
Vince was a family to her too.
"He wanted to come with me."
"Sayang! I miss your brother." Alyssa frowned.
"He misses you too, Ly. He wants you to know." Laura glanced at her briefly.
"You should have let him come."
"He's got school."
"Well, let him know I miss him too."
"Sure, I will."
"Though I must say na it surprised me really to see you again. I never thought-"
"I'd be back?"
"I was more surprised your dad let you."
"Because he knows," Laura paused to glance at her again. Alyssa kept her eyes ahead. "Wala naman na akong babalikan."
Whatever that meant, Alyssa did not want to know.
"Let's go, Ly. I surely don't miss the traffic here." Laura jumped off the bench. She reached for Alyssa's elbow and let her hand stay there for a moment before she slid it down to her hand. When the tips of her fingers left Alyssa's skin, she said her goodbye.
Alyssa waited until the sun had gone to hide itself on the horizon before she left for home too.
*
Alyssa was not expecting Dennise to welcome her at the door. She had not given her phone a single glance since this afternoon and almost forgotten how she opted to prepare their dinner until she realized she was not holding any grocery bags.
"What happened to you?" Dennise cocked her head to the side. "Did you get soak in the rain? Why are you in your slippers at ba't ang dumi ng pants mo?"
"It was raining..." Alyssa replied only the half-truth. "I went out to buy you flowers but-" She cursed herself. "-I left it in the car pala. I should get it."
"Mamaya na. Baka nagpa-ulan ka na naman. Take a shower, hon."
"Kanina ka pa ba?"
"I called your office. Maaga ka raw umalis?"
"I had a meeting." Alyssa hated lying. She sucked at it but for whatever reasons, Dennise didn't look like she noticed her eyes darting at everywhere but her.
"Rina probably forgot to mention it to me. Sige na. Take a shower, love. Then kakain na tayo."
"You cooked?"
Now, the guilt was overwhelming.
"Yeah since inisip ko na baka nasa meeting ka nga with clients. Bakit, kumain ka na ba sa labas?"
Dennise was smiling the hopeful smile and one wrong answer and Alyssa knew she'd hurt her.
Wait, she was already lying to her, hurting her. But Dennise had no idea about it and Alyssa would rather not let her know she was with Laura the whole afternoon. And it did not feel wrong, at all.
We are just friends. How should that hurt Dennise?
It was stupid but Alyssa held onto that. She and Laura were friends, just friends and can only be friends. She loves Dennise, comes home to Dennise and is loved by Dennise.
"No, honey." Alyssa kissed her girlfriend's temple. "I'll take a shower muna then we'll eat, okay?"
"That is the plan." Dennise smiled the kind of smile that Alyssa could not afford not to hurt.