Count stacks of the routine lies. Funny how east you could see my blindside. Still the same songs with the same old beats. Sure I could stay but there's a place I'd rather be. But I can't help but drive away from all the mess you made. You sent this hurricane now it won't go away. And I promised I'd be there but you don't make it east. Darling please believe me... Cause loving you, loving you is too hard. All I do, all I do's not enough. I cannot be loving you, loving you. All I do, all I do is get burnt. I cannot be loving you, loving you... See I remember all the times you made me covered in crazy. I can't forget about the way you played me... Like I was never gonna change your world. It ended long ago so please let me go...
~
"This is where Jin and Jungkook were staying?" I asked as Yoongi and I pulled into an abandoned farm house. My skinned crawled as I slammed the car door and the sound echoed through the fields. "alright this is really creepy." I say as I pull myself closer to the walking Yoongi. "did I mention I was terrified of scarecrows."
Yoongi chuckled I laced my arm around his to look around the empty area. "well good thing I'm here then right?" He asked rhetorically making me look down at my sudden physical contact and release it. Yoongi sighed as I moved my arm form his. "Jin!" he yelled as he beat against the large cracked red door.
My eyes widened as Jimin surfaced from the other side of the door. "hey guys what's going on?" Jimin asked quickly as he pulled us into the building and slammed the large door back. "you said you need to talk to us im-."
"Over here!"
Yoongi quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the direction of Jungkooks voice. Jimin followed shortly behind as we worked through the maze like inside. "(y/n)." Yoongi says as he softly removes his hand from mine and pushes me towards the table. "tell them everything Taehyung told you."
I swallowed as I caught my balance against the wooden table. My eyes scanned the many faces that laced the audience. I turned back around to see Yoongi had his arms crossed to his chest. "even tell about how you-."
"even about that." Yoongi nodded as Jimin glanced between him and I with a confused look.
"alright well..."
~
The silence I once felt as we entered the building was now replaced with an uproar of loud men. They were shouting things like:
"Where is Namjoon!"
"we're not the real bts? Who are we then!"
"what is the point of all of this!"
"I want Johnathan's head on a plate!"
I tried to speak up but the questions overwhelmed me to the point I felt like a politician stating something that my viewers would not agree with. "I u-."
"Everyone stay quiet!" Yoongi yelled as he pushed himself beside me and looked onto the sea of angry men. I watched as Yoongi took charge and something In me sparked... "There are no questions. The only thing we do now Is go through with the plan."
"the plan is ruined now that Namjoon is go-!"
"Namjoon wasn't going to run along with us! No, he was going to take Johnathan for himself!" Yoongi yelled as his nails scraped into the wooden table. I knew what he really wanted to say... "he was going to run away with (y/n)"....but he wasn't going to say that to these men.
Jin cleared his throat as he looked at Yoongi. "well there needs to be only one person to do it..." he stated as he rolled his eyes. "do you know how chaotic it would be if we all marched in there yelling to kill Johnathan?" Jin said making the audience fall silent. "there is one person who can do this and I honestly believe (y/n) needs to. Does anyone disagree?"
"I disagree!"
"I want to kill him"
The out roar stormed back up and I found myself wanting to leave the noisy room to take a breath of fresh air. Yoongi watched as I stepped down from the wooded platform and stuck his hand out for me to stay. I simply waved his hand away and rubbed my head like I had a headache and he agreed for me to leave...
I listened as derogatory words about me were screamed over others. I shook my head as I pushed through the red door and flattened my back against the bumpy side of the barn. My eyes burned from the sudden sting of the sunlight but then adjusted. I sighed as I breathed in the grassy smell... watching as the green hills practically rolled over each other and I thought of Namjoon...
"do you remember the first time I told you I loved you?" I asked as my fingers traced over the moving cloud above me. Namjoon's hand gently slid into mine as a calming breeze rushed over our sore bodies. We snuck away from training so we could spend our anniversary where we met. Out in the green fields...
Namjoon scoffed as he rubbed his thumb against my hand and grabbed my chin so that I would look at him. His eyes softened as he stared at me. "of course I do...you were as red as a tomato." He teased as he squeezed my nose.
I laughed from the tease and quickly swatted his hands away. I flipped onto his body and straddled him as I looked down at his grinning face. My finger quickly slipped onto his caved dimple, causing him to smile harder. "I wish we could stay like this." I sigh as I lay down against his beating chest.
"one day we will have this everyday... I promise (y/n) ...." His hand rubbed against my back. "one day..."
"What you thinking about?"
I jumped to the sound of Jimin's voice bringing me out of my daze. "god you scared me." I laughed as I rubbed my hand against my beating chest. "uh I was thinking about-."
"Namjoon? Yeah I figured." Jimin chuckled as he pushed himself beside me and kicked at the ground.
"how did you kno-."
"You always have that look when you think about him... Hell, you have it when you talk to him, hear his name-." Jimin paused as he turned to look at me. "I wish you would look at me the same way. It's so cute."
My heart skipped a beat as I watched Jimins soft lips pull back to his signature smiled. I cleared my throat as I crossed my arms to my chest. "I'mnot cute. And what do you mean you 'wish I would look at you like that.'" I laughed as I tried to slow my beating heart. "Do you not remember the way I use to look at you when were we teenagers?"
Jimin sighed as he stared up at the blue sky above us totally forgetting what was happening on the inside of the building behind him. "that wasn't love(y/n)."
"how can you tell me what I felt for you wasn't what it was?" I asked getting a little upset that he would ever doubt my feeling s for him. "Jimin I was in lov-."
"was Is the key word there (y/n)." Jimin said making me lose all thought of what I was saying. "I didn't start to realize the way you look when you look at someone you love until you started looking at Namjoon..." he said softly making my heart race again.
"are you jeal-."
"Yoongi looks at you like that." Jimin said trying to clearly change the subject. He scoffed as he kicked at the ground again. "he probably is only feeling guilt not love."
"and you know what love feels like?" I asked making Jimin fall silent. The only voices that could be heard were the soft muffled ones that left the cracks of the building. "I honestly don't think I know what love is anymore..." I say softly as I shove my shaking hands into my pockets. "all I know is when I get close to Namjoon- There's a- a burning pulse. Like something is wanting me to stay beside him and never let him go... Is that love?" I questioned rhetorically as I stared at Jimin.
Jimin swallowed as the wind blew between us. "actually I think it is-."
"(y/n) it's time to go." Yoongi said as he slammed the door opened and wrapped his arm around my body; lifting me from my spot and over his shoulder. Yoongi looked out of breath and scared for his life as he did the whole thing. All of the sudden sounds of gunshots from inside the building came to life and panic rushed through my body.
"I'll cover you." Jimin said as he ran behind us and pointed his gun towards the barn doors.
"Yoongi put me down I can-."
"DON'T LET HER GET AWAY!" Men screamed as they jumped through the barn and began firing their weapons towards the car Yoongi threw me in. Something in me burned as I waited for Jimin to crawl into the back seat with me. Gun fire stopped as if my only defense was down.
"Jimin?" I questioned as my heart began to pace. Yoongi breathed hard as he threw the car into Drive. "No Yoongi we have to wait for ji-." I freeze as I look out the car door window and see Jimin's body on the ground. "JIMIN!!!" I screamed as I struggled to get out of my seat belt and out the door but Yoongi began to drive away. "Yoongi no, you gotta-." I sobbed.
"I GOTTA GET YOU AWAY FROM HERE (Y/N)." Yoongi screamed making his voice crack. I caught sight of him through the mirror as he turned through the thick woods... tears were streaming down his face...
~
I tried to get rid of the picture...
His body... Limp and un-moving... Blood seeping through the holes in his back...
"i wish you would look at me like that."
I cried silently as I thought of my Jimin... The boy who I grew up with... The boy I fell in love with... The man who was in love with me.
"Happy birthday (y/n)!" Jimin cheered as he pushed the mud pie he made for me towards me. "I wish it was a real cake." He frowned as his soft, innocent eyes flicked onto my watery ones...
It was the first time all day anyone wished me a happy birthday. I was finally 11. My dad didn't say anything and my mom was away on business. "Thank you Chimmy!" I yelled as I jumped onto him and wrapped him into a warm hug. "You're the best friend anyone could ever have you know that."
"I know that (y/n). gosh." Jimin blushed as he pushed me off of him and pushed a thin stick in the middle of the mud pie. "Girls have coodies you know." He whispered as he picked up the small mud pile and placed it in front of my face. "now make a wish."
I giggled as I blew against the tiny stick. "I wish for us to never be apart from each other-." I paused as I smacked the mud pie form his hand and pulled him in for a hug again. "coodies and all."
"alright fine." Jimin breathed into my hair as he let the hug happen. "We can be sick together..."
"forever."
"(Y/n)! I know you're upset right now but we need to move now!" Yoongi yelled as he grabbed my weeping body. "can you please do this?" He asked as panic rushed through his face. He held against my shoulders to keep me in place. "there is a tunnel nearby we can get through in. Jin said he will be on the other side of it."
I gently placed my shaking hand against Yoongi's tear stained cheeks. "just get me away from her please..." I said brokenly and Yoongi shook his head putting his hand in mine and began to drag me through the woods.
I had no idea where we were going or what was going to happen anymore. We seemed to be so broken yet held together at the same time... All I knew was Namjoon was locked away probably dead or being tortured and my best friend was just killed.
And it is all because of me...
I need to end this...