Khushbu's pov:
I feel something on my cheek but im too tired to open my eyes and check it out. My dreams are filled with all the memories I had with Raftar. Its like they want to tell me something. Like something is hidden from me.
' how will my bacchi (child) handle this Ahmed. Its too much for her' ammi cries out in front of abbu. Its just a day before the wedding. Im standing outside waiting for them to notice me.
' aamina this is for her safety aamina and you already know we gave our word. Raftar will keep her happy and safe . She might not know that now but she will be happy in future' I hear abbu consoling ammi.
Just as the dream completes I get another one.
'Raftar will keep you safe ' these are the words bhai spoke on my wedding day.
Then the dream skips to another one.
'I will keep you safe khushbu, nothing and nobody will hurt you' Raftar's voice enters my dreams.
Till then my dream was full of warning and consolations of ' keeping me safe ' but one's Raftar enters my dream The topic of 'my so called safety' skips to the time I spent with Raftar. The first time I saw him.... The coffee thing... Then the day I first fought with him at my home. The day he told I was getting married to him. The day of my engagement.... The day of my marriage ..... Then the time when I ran into him in the closet on the first day ..... His body .... His laugh... His everything ....
Im sitting on the porch of a beach house looking out at the sea . The moist air making me sweat . The saltiness on my skin makes my skin even more sweatier and itchier but the only thing that is making me sit and wait on the porch of this cottage is the eyes, hazel brown eyes Im longing to see. Im waiting for him.... My husband, Raftar and I seem way more pissed . I look down on sand observing the shells when A pair of feet reach my sight. I feel excitement bloom in me. I slowly look up... The formal royal blue trousers... Crisp white oxford shirt... Royal blue tie and jacket.... I look up slowly....
Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I hear the blazing sound of the alarm. Time for Ishaa. My dream abruptly ends and I'm back to reality. I slowly flutter open my eyes. Letting my gaze fall on the ceiling of the bed room.
Why do I miss him?
When will he be back?
Im too deep in thought but instantly pull out when I observe a moment in the corner of my eyes. I slowly drag my sleepy eyes and see Raftar.
Allah? Am I dreaming?
I slowly move and rest my weight on my elbows. Raftar is sitting on a chair that he must have dragged from the corner of the room. One of his hand is resting on the arm of the chair while the other is holding a Glass of ..... Alcohol ... I guess. Here he is in all glory perched on the chair like a king giving an intense stare. His eyes..... Those hazel brown eyes....
" Finally , my king has made is presence." My voice raspy from sleep but I dont even think twice before speaking. I guess im too tired to even bother. " What the hell Raftar ?is this how long you take to come home? You said a trip and its been like a month . No calls . No messeg-" i keep blabbering and slowly tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and then it hits me . Realisation makes it way to my slow dumb brain and I look down to see my Pj's and tank top and......
Oh allah!!! My hair!
Hijaaaaab!!!! I dint wear my hijab .
I look up at him and scream at the top of my lungs. I let out a drained-out-air-from-lungs type of scream. I suddenly feel a hand clamped over my mouth. My scream gets muffled.
" Women , you got a set of lungs! Its better that this room is a sound proof !" Raftar exclaims . I bit down hard on his palm . She moves his hand away with a hiss.
" god women! Seems like I feed you for screaming and biting! " I take a pillow and hit him on his head. He brings his hand to stop me and holds my wrists . Then he pushes me on the bed and presses himself on me dodging my moves. And holding me in place.
" I swear Raftar I will kill you.... You... Ass hole... You.." I cant seem to hold back the obscenities that I thought I would never use. But here I go abusing like a sailor to the donkey of my husband.
" wow , babe hold on... Seems like i' m rubbing off on you "
" what did you say you jerk! Rubbing?! -" I scream back at his face.
" Doll, I dint mean me rubbing on you ... You know ... I dint mean the body to body contact .. What I meant to say was the language... And by the way don't you dare swear again from that pretty mouth of yours. " I thrash around wiggling my wrist to get away from his hold but damn he is so strong that he does even put effort to hold me down.
He then becomes all serious . His eyes show anger that I ignored a while ago. I stop fidgeting science its useless .
" good, now listen to me Khushbu" he seems to get angrier every passing moment. " This had to happen now or later. You are my wife and in Islam husband has every right on his wife. He can see her without hijab , clothes and even touch her. " when he brought the word from Islam It felt like a slap on my face. I believe in Islam and as a true muslim I have to satisfy my husband's sexual needs .
" I-" I start to say but he stops me.
" I dont expect you have sex with me . Thats not acceptable to me to take you against your concent. I wont steep to that level. I understand , so I will wait. " he says and pulls ways . He sits back on the chair with his glass of whatever he was drinking before, in his hands.
I it up and rub my writs which already turned red. He takes a sip from his drink looking intently at me.
" I already told you . You would me waiting for me in our bed with ur hair open and oh- that tank top and those shorts. " I turn bright red. I pull the blanket around me covering myself and scowl at him. " but, thats not what this is about . I had to talk to you about the stunt that you pulled yesterday... My Dear wife! " I can feel his anger. Its like the atmosphere changed and I remember yesterdays events.
Oh -uh Khushbu my subconscious hides behind the chair she so proudly sits on.
I gulp . The air is thick of anger and tension. Raftar's body seems relaxed but his eyes tell something else. I feal scared of him. I just learned that I dont like this side of him. It terrifies me to be frank.
" what you did was not acceptable" his voice unsettling me making me squirm " and you will be punished for that. I thought of giving you time but seems like you need to learn your lessen. " I wonder what this punishment is.
" pack your bags and go meet your Ammi also get your passport. " This seems to crash my world. What does he mean passport?
" what do You mean Get passport? We can travel in car right. " I dont think so I want to hear what I think it is.
" Yes passport, we are leaving this country. We need to get back to the Mansion. The real home. Our house. " I look at him shocked.
" No no I dont want to leave pakistan! I was born and brought up here! I-I have my family my friends .... Every one I know and ever knew are here . How can I leave them? My -My ammi and abbu an-and bhai ... How can I leave them? " I blabber.
" well, you have to. You should have thought of the consequences before going against my word. " he sips his drink.
" your word?! Thats my Ammi, Raftar! My mother ! The one who gave me birth ! Why do I get punished for meeting my mother?! " I loose my calm and scream at him.
" Lower your voice! " he shouts back at me . "Dont you dare raise your voice in front of me again! " his stance turns cold and ruthless which would have scared me if I weren't in shock.
" we leave early in the morning tomorrow. Pack your bags. Go meet your family and friends today. " he says and walks to the door.
" Im not leaving this city let alone this country! " I shout back at him but he is already gone!
I thought of writing a bit lengthier chap bt i dnt feel well .... So may b next chap would be lengthier... Like and comment :)