After a long night full of restlessness tossing and turning, I unwillingly decided to get out of bed.
I did my day-to-day neutral make-up routine and attempted to fix my messy hair. I groggily trudged over to my dresser and pulled out an oversized t-shirt.
An idea popped into my head - I was going to make some breakfast and take an extra plate down to Jeffrey.
I made my signature blueberry pancakes with a sweet lemon cream syrup - it was seriously my favorite.
I took ahold of the plates and strolled down the end of the hall. The sweet smell of the pancakes wafted into my nostrils, filling me with a sense of joy.
I knocked on Jeffrey's door and tried to ease my happiness of seeing him again. I knocked once more but there was no answer. I began to feel slightly disheartened and turned to go back to my apartment. Before I was even two steps away, I heard his door open.
"Emma" I heard his sweet voice say. Just by the fluctuation in his voice, I could tell he was smiling.
I turned back towards his door, only to be created with his signature smile of his. But that wasn't the only thing that caught my attention. He stood there shirtless in a pair of denim jeans.
I dropped the plates of pancakes.
"Oh," Jeffrey gasped.
I blushed and looked at his tattoos and abs.
"Shit, sorry" I exclaimed, realizing the mess I had just made.
Jeffrey let out a very enthusiastic laugh as an embarrassed blush creeped into my cheeks.
"Relax darlin'... I'll clean it up" He said sweetly.
There it was again. That sweet word that seemed to make my heart beat faster, the way 'darlin' rolled off his lips was like sweet music to my ears.
"I just wanted to thank you for yesterday, so I made my pancakes ... and now my thank you is all over the floor" I stated with a nervous voice as he began to pick up the disaster I just had created.
He was occupied just long enough for me to admire his tattoos and toned physique.
"I appreciate the thought, I really do! Since we were going to have breakfast anyway... I'll go ahead and order us something to eat. I know this brilliant take out place that has some really fantastic breakfast meals" Jeffrey said sweetly as he ushered me inside.
I could tell that he was comfortable in his own skin, he wasn't fazed at all walking around me shirtless.
"Your apartment is beautiful" I stated, scanning the room and admiring the beautiful interior.
"Thank you very much, I worked hard on it" He replied, grabbing out a bottle of coffee creamer and closing the fridge.
"You can walk around and take a better look if you so desire" He smiled.
I loved how gentle and kind he was to me, it made me giddy inside.
I nodded and hopped off the tall barstool and began my journey around his apartment. Before I registered where I was, I was standing in the doorway to Jeffrey's bedroom.
It was dark, dimly lit, and slightly warm. It had a very romantic and comforting vibe omitting from the walls.
I hadn't realized that he had walked up behind me until I heard him exhale deeply. I slowly turned around and looked deeply into his chestnut brown eyes. I almost melted away in their warmth.
My actions kicked in before my mind did, and I suddenly I leaned into kiss him, but he turned away and my lips landed on his cheek.
"I'm so sorry ... I thought ... I'm just confused" I stuttered out, looking away from him, shame filling my body.
"Don't be ... I'm just surprised" He whispered gently.
"I uh, I'm gonna go," I said embarrassed.
"Emma, you don't have to go," He said, but all I could manage to do was to take my ashamed ass back to my apartment.
"C'mon it's okay," He said, trying even harder as I walked down the hallway.
"I need some time to process and just think" I stated before closing my front door, leaving Jeffrey in the empty hallway.
I crawled into the covers of my cushiony bed, trying to hide from the reality of what I just did.
I ruined any kind of relationship I had with Jeffrey. For christ sake... could I have been anymore of an idiot! What was I thinking? Trying to make a move on a man as attractive as Jeffrey.
My mind began to whirl as I tried to think of how I was going to avoid the awkwardness that would soon face me. I decided to not think at all, to clear my mind and try to calm down. Before I knew it I slipped away into an immensely deep sleep.
***
I woke up in panic. Why? I am not actually sure.
I rolled over grabbing my phone on the nightstand. It was 1 in the afternoon and I had only slept for about 4 hours.
I slipped out from underneath the covers and hopped into the warmth of the shower, soaking in the moist relaxation of the heat. When I stepped out I had a text message from my mother, reading she would be meeting me at 3 o' clock.
I was slightly confused because I wasn't meant to meet my mother until tomorrow afternoon, and suddenly it hit me. I closed the messages to check the date and to my horrified surprise, I had slept the entire night without even budging.
I quickly scrambled to get ready and meet my mom downtown. The only place I could think of meeting up was at the coffee shop Jeffrey had taken me just days ago.
I gathered my bags and headed towards the door. I papered out the door making sure Jeffrey was nowhere to be seen, and once I knew the coast was clear, I made a break for the elevator.
--
"Oh, sweetie! It is so good to see you! It feels like it has been ages" My mom exclaimed, pulling me into a very affectionate hug.
"Mom" I giggled.
"So tell me... how is the new place, starting to feel like home?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'm really loving it" My statement was true, apart from the fact that I just ruined a vital part of the reason I enjoyed living there.
My mother began to ramble on about dad, and such as my mind drifted off to the thought of Jeffrey. After what seemed like hours, my thought was drawn back to my mom as she snapped her fingers in front of my face.
"Emma, did you even listen?" She asked sounding slightly frustrated.
"Yeah yeah of course" I lied.
"Well I should be getting home before it gets too dark," I said, wanting simply to return to the confounds of my bed.
"Ok sweetie, we'll talk soon then, send me a text once you're safe and sound back in your apartment," She said and hugged me goodbye.
---
Once the elevator door opened, I peeked out to make sure that the hallway was empty. It was... until I went to stick my key in the door. I heard a door open down the hallway, and of course, that door was Jeffrey's.
I did my best to remain calm, trying not to make an even bigger fool of myself.
"Emma," Jeffrey said softly.
"Oh hey Jeffrey, I thought you would be at work," I said awkwardly.
"I know you are avoiding me" He replied.
"You don't have to do that! I don't look at you any differently than I did before. Emma, you have no reason to be embarrassed" He stated.
"I just - I don't know how to handle stuff sometimes, and most of the time I handle it in the wrong way," I said reluctantly.
"Emma, I just want to know what is going on in your mind, tell me, please" He begged.
"I uh, I just need a little bit more time Jeffrey, please" I almost begged as I backed into the apartment.
I had no idea what I was actually going to do, or how any of this was going to work out.