The night was long. Too long. I laid on the bed surrounded by lights and white walls. I couldn't move my hands or legs. My eyes stayed locked on the walls. Cameron sat in the seat beside me with his head in his hands. Luke and Dylan was in the waiting room along with Jack and Jack. The others couldn't show up, mostly because no one knows.
I was wishing it was all a dream, hoping, praying it was. But it wasn't. Far from one. It was reality.
I looked down at my small child, about the size of my hand. Sad to know she wouldn't grow up. That I couldn't watch her grow.
I wanted to cry. Cry so bad. The hurt inside of me was like no other pain. Cameron's in the same shape and me. We're holding it in. Holding in for her.
"Goodbye Rose. I love you." Was the last words I whispered to her before they took her away.
I looked at Cameron. His brown eyes were dark, but pale. The color in his face was drained. I felt bad for us. For our child.
I looked at him for a bit longer before I couldn't see anything for the water dwelled up in my eyes. I let it out. All out.
From the day I was born from this point. Every bad thing that's happened. I let it all out. Every single bit of it.
I cried and cried and cried. Cameron did the same. He held me tight but it didn't help. A big part of me was broke. I've lost so many people that i couldn't handle it.
~~~
The funeral was tomorrow. We have everything arranged.
I laid in my bed. I haven't said a word, haven't ate, haven't got out of bed for the past week.
Cameron has tried, even though it's been hard. He lost his baby girl. I lost her too.
Luke was in a bad shape, just not as bad.
Dylan really didn't know what was going on. She didn't cry, although she was very sad. I felt bad for her. She didn't understand. All I could say is, "Sissy went to a beautiful place. You'll see her one day." Until she stopped asking question.
Many people called and Cameron answered. All the boys did, apologizing and sending me flowers or cards. Cameron's mother and sister came in for the funeral and they've been staying in the guest room.
"Jasmine, dear, we're all upset but you have to eat," Gina tried to convince me to get up off the couch.
"I can't," I whispered. I don't want to talk. I can't or even think straight.
"Jasmine, you have to," Cameron came in the room. His voice was low and not much volume to it. It cracked, trying to pull off that he was okay, but I knew he wasn't.
I shrugged and pulled the covers over my head. Gina laid ice cream beside me, on a table with some water.
"Please try to eat. Rose wouldn't want to see her mother like this," Gina sighed, walking out of the room.
I felt the couch dent in and a arm wrap around my waist and a head laid on mine.
"I love you, jasmine. I'm hurting too, but moms right," he sighed, kissing my head.
"Why did this happen?" I asked. I knew he didn't have the answer. No one did. But I wanted to ask. Hoping to get one.
"I don't know. Everything happens for a reason. Remember, God has a plan." Cameron told me.
I knew he was correct, but I stayed silent.
~~~
I slipped on my black heels and pulled my hair up. I put makeup on to make me look half decent. I patted my black dress and grabbed my brown Michael Kors purse.
Dylan wore a black dress similar to mine. She had her hair down and black flats on.
As for the boys, they all had the similar black tux people always wore.
We soon arrived at the funeral. A small casket laid before me as I looked down at it.
I wanted to cry. So bad. But I held it in, as I was supposed to. When I turned around I was shocked. I seen everyone from my past. Everyone.
Jacob and mahogany was there, they wasn't beside each other though. Their fling was long gone. Jacob stood with a new girl, I'm familiar with her music, Bea Miller. Along side of mahogany was her boyfriend, Carlos. I've seen her post things about him all the time.
I also saw Brooke. Cameron's ex. It kind of bothered me but she was with a guy, and I'm glad to have her support.
Emily was here, even though I expected her. Her and her son, Thomas, along with Bryan, my nephew. How happy it made me that they was here to support me.
Madison and Maggie was here also, even though we've had problems.
Sammy was here. Even thought I've only really been around him a few times, I'm glad we've became close.
Alexa was even here to my shock.
And last, but not least, my boys. All of my sweet boys. Even Taylor. They were all dressed up, and how grown up they looked killed me. All so old but it made me so happy to be able to see them here.
I'll start off with Hayes, my little Hayes. So proud I was of him and especially him being on dancing with the stars. Then Shawn, his music career has sky rocketed, not to mention the Taylor swift tour. Nash, my sweet sweet Nash, his new movie, along side with Cam. And my other boys. I couldn't be more prouder on how far they've come. I loved each and every one of them and I couldn't believe everyone was here.
I greeted each and every one of them. So happy to have my family back.
"I love you, Jaz. I'm so so sorry," Taylor sighed, hugging me tight.
I smiled at him and nodded, "thank you, Tay. I love you too."
I turned around to walk to the casket but Alexa stood in front of me. I raised an eyebrow toward her and she lowered her head. "Hey..," she spoke.
"Hello, Alexa," I greeted her back, not really in the mood to speak with her.
"I'm so, so sorry about your loss and everything I've done in the past. I was just so jealous and stupid and I didn't come here for your forgiveness, I came because it truly hurt me to see the pain I've caused you to be in and you lost your daughter, your baby girl and I couldn't be more sorry," she rambled.
I smiled and I hugged her. Yes, I actually hugged her. "Thank you, Alexa. It really means a lot. I forgive you," I smiled. She smiled back and I walked past her to see my baby girl one last time here on earth.
"Hello, I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for coming today just for this occasion. It truly hurts me so much to even speak. I lost my daughter, but I know I'll always have my Dylan.
When I was younger I was hurt. So bad because I lost so many people in my family and all I had was luke. I was treated unfairly in high school, like most kids. I never really had a reason to live, until a few years later when I met my family. The family I was meant to be with.
Nash Grier, Hayes Grier, Cameron Dallas, Taylor Caniff, Matthew Espinosa, Shawn Mendes, Aaron carpenter, Jack Johnson, Jack Gilinsky, and Carter Reynolds.
They showed me who family was and they've brought me along my journey, along side with my brother, and my other friends I met later into my journey. I would also like to thank my daughter, Dylan. She brought the family back together a few years ago and now I couldn't be happier.
I know I lost my daughter, Rosalie Dallas, but everything happens for a reason and no ones life is perfect and I've figured that out. But thank you, so so much, for being here and helping me see the light of a new beginning. I know everything happens for a reason, that God has a plan, and I quote from a special guy of mine. But I love each and everyone of you. Thank you, again, for showing your respects and coming out this evening. God bless."
Everyone cried and sobbed for a while and the funeral went on and life when on like it usually does.
I got to see my boys all together, one last time, before we'd all be together again. I was happy. My family was together and even though rose isn't here to celebrate with us, I know she is in my heart. I was happy. And so I smiled.
I smiled, once. A genuine smile for the for the first time in years. All because I was bullied by magcon.
One chapter left guys and writing this broke my heart because I've realized I've came such a long way with you guys and you guys taking the time out of your day to read this. Thank you, once again.
God bless.