Athanasia ran desperately.
Lucas continuously cursed as he followed her. Athanasia didn't care. She ignored Lily calling out to her in concern as she run out of the Emerald palace and towards the Garnett palace.
She knew her Dad had something to do with it. That cold-hearted man had to be it. Though he was her father and things had been going so well, so well she had almost forgotten what kind of person he was.
He was the same person who condemned her in the past. The same person who had caused nothing but suffering to her. He was the reason she was dead and her last moments were only filled with despair and agony.
He probably did something to you to make you run away so abruptly, without saying a word to anyone.
No. You hadn't left without saying a word. Athanasia closed her eyes, an image shrouded in kindness and warmth surfaced. She sucked a shaky breath. Last night what she had thought was a mere dream was your last goodbye.
Her throat stung with repressed sobs as she recalled last night. The words she remembered were full of kindness and warmth. Wanting, hoping for the best for her.
She didn't care for etiquette as she barged into Claude's office, glaring at the man sitting behind the desk.
The nobles were startled at her sudden appearance and almost dropped the documents in their hands in shock. Claude took a single glance at Athanasia and waved a hand to dismiss them.
Athanasia waited until the room was empty except for her and the man sitting behind the desk.
"Athanasia, what's wrong?"
Claude moved towards her, his stance nonchalant as usual. Nothing changed about him. Nothing.
Athanasia's hands clenched into tight fists.
The same callousness, the same nonchalant voice. It gritted on her ears. How could he sound so apathetic? It was like he didn't care you disappeared.
"Why did Mom leave?" Athanasia demanded.
Claude furrowed his brows, looking a little bit bewildered. It was the first time he saw the such an unfamiliar expression on the child's face. The cheerful, sometimes mischievous girl was looking like a stranger.
"..."
Athanasia gritted her teeth at his cold silence. She repeated the question. "Dad, why did Mom leave?"
No reply.
Claude sighed, his expression unreadable as he moved towards her. "I.. I don't know. Despite spending so much time claiming to understand her, I don't have an answer."
Athanasia almost scoffed. As if the he could understand anyone.
Claude composed himself, "But don't worry. I will find the answer soon."
Claude made a move to pat her head but Athanasia took a step back. The air changed as Claude looked at her blankly, his hand still lingering in the air.
He dropped his hand.
"...Athanasia, I know you are worried, maybe even scared. However, have some ...faith in me. I'll take care of everything. Everything will be fine.. I give you my word."
Athanasia found no solace in his halting words. She felt like he going in circles to avoid answering her question.
Seeing the unveiled hostility in her eyes, Claude felt strange. It was first time he saw Athanasia making such expression.
Feeling something amiss, he cautiously asked, "Is there something you want to tell me?"
Athanasia couldn't help but laugh at that question. He sounds concerned. As if his unfeeling heart could understand concern!
"Is there anything I want to tell you? Can I even tell you? Will you listen to me or will throw me in the dungeon? Maybe even execute me in public like the criminal I'm in your eyes?"
Claude's blood ran cold. Memories, cold chilling memories flooded his mind. "Athanasia, what are you--"
"Dad, tell me honestly, did you ever consider me your daughter or were you playing house for your own amusement?"
Athanasia felt like she had finally lost her mind as she looked at the frozen expression on her father's face, taking joy in the petrified expression.
"That's why Mom left, right? Did you hurt her? You always loved inflicting pain on others. Making them suffer just to amuse yourself. Did you hurt her too, tell me!" Athanasia couldn't recognize her voice, it was shrill, broken and lit with resentment.
Something inside her was crumbling. The barrier that kept her demons at bay was slowly breaking, letting loose the hideous side of her. Like a broken marionette dancing on strings, she wasn't in control of herself.
"Ah, I know you probably got bored of her so you planned to kill her off. Maybe that's why she left, abandoning me here with you. Oh, I know you are bored, right? Why not kill me too? Public execution would be fun to watch for you. After I'm dead, you can leave my dead body hanging there. I promise I won't run away. I don't have anywhere to run. Don't have anyone to run to. Kill me too--"
"Athanasia!"
Athanasia flinched and recoiled. Huh? When did he get so close?
Why... Why was her vision so blurry?
"Athanasia..stop.."
Athanasia smiled bitterly and closed her eyes.
As if someone was forcefully injecting her with memories, the forgotten memories started flooding her mind.
Trapped between present and past, Athanasia was crumbling. Unable to fight against the ugly claws digging into her mind, bringing out nightmarish images of the past, she lashed out at the person before her.
"Why? This is what you want, right? You can kill me easily, without remorse. You once did, so gleefully. You can do it again."
Twisting her lips into a broken smile, Athanasia asked in venomous voice. She jolted when she felt a soft touch on her cheek. It was cold and rough yet careful and tender.
She opened her eyes and saw Claude gently wiping her cheeks.
Trembling from the broken look in his eyes, Athanasia slapped away his hand as if to reject what she was witnessing. "Don't...don't touch me!"
Stumbling back, she felt her cheeks, surprised by the warm droplet that met the tip of her fingers. Sure enough, she was crying.
Ah, was she crying..? Why?
Why was she crying?
Like a lost child, she tried roughly to wipe away her tears, not caring if her skin was bruising from the force. She was confused when more tears came tumbling.
Why was she crying?
She flinched when a careful grip on her wrists stopped her aggressive action. She didn't struggle against the gentle touch, filled with care and tenderness, wiping her tears. No word escaped her tight throat.
Why? Why was this person trying to be so gentle? Shouldn't he get mad and lash out on her?
She shook like a feeble leaf in confusion.
"I'm sorry, Athanasia."
Athanasia didn't reply. Her silence blanketed the room with thick tension.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the silence was broken.
"...How did you get the memories...? When--"
The strained voice trailed off when Athanasia jerked like she was being stabbed.
Athanasia closed eyes snapped wide open. Colour drained from her already pale face. She finally came to her senses.
She lifted her head. "What..?"
Ice filled her veins as she saw his expression.
No. No, no. He wasn't supposed to know!
Her body started to shake harder, her lips quivering as her head lowered until her chin was touching her chest, eyes trembling wildly.
It couldn't be. No, only she knew it. Only she was supposed to know. So why, why was this person sounding so sorrowful? Why was he looking so regretful and guilty?
She couldn't bring herself to continue looking at him in the eyes. She turned away and ran.
She didn't look back as she rushed away from the man who was her father and her murderer. She just run blindly. Away from the implications of the words.
As if to torture her more, horrendous parts of her past sprang up in her mind and her eyes teared up. She failed to notice the person coming her way and crashed into a solid chest and stumbled back.
"Oh my goodness! Are you alright, Princess?! Did you get hurt?!"
Athanasia blankly looked at the person fussing over her. "Felix..."
Hearing those weak words, confusion flashed across Felix's face. He carefully observed the tear-stained cheeks and looked over her shoulder.
His concerned expression turned grim.
"Princess, did His majesty said something to upset you? Should I scold him for you?" Felix asked lightly, not minding the scattered papers.
Athanasia shuddered and shook her head.
Felix carefully mulled over his words, knowing the fragile state of the child. "He's working hard day and night without rest, so he's a bit on the edge. Of course, that's no excuse to make our Princess cry. He's almost done, you can scold him yourself for upsetting you."
Athanasia lifted her downcast head to look at Felix in confusion. Seeing her bewildered expression, Felix clarified.
"Last time in his absence, you had to struggle a lot. This time he's making sure it won't happen."
Caught off guard, Athanasia's eyes widened and her breath hitched. What was Felix speaking of? What does he mean by it?
With great difficulty, she choked out. "What... do you mean, Felix? Is dad going somewhere?"
Felix smiled brightly. "Of course. Naturally, he can't sit still given the situation. He'd have gone sooner to look for your Mom but he couldn't leave you alone to struggle again. So he's preparing for all possible scenarios to make it easy for you to rule in his absence." Felix let out a good-natured chuckle. "He's barely holding himself together. I'm surprised he could last this long without losing his mind."
Athanasia felt like thorns had grown in her throat. A belated realization dawned on her and she clenched her shaking hand.
"So he's going to look for Mom?" Despite the realization, Athanasia struggled to believe.
"Yes." Felix smiled softly. "Do you think his majesty would accept the situation too easily? Once he's done taking care of things for you, he will go ends of the world to find (Y/n)."
Pins prickled her skin and claws of guilt slowly stabbed her conscience. Her eyes blown wide in shock slowly sank in regret.
Felix smiled seeing the change in her expression.
"Seem like there's some misunderstanding. Why don't you go talk to his majesty?" Felix patted her head in encouragement. "Ah, I need to check these documents so I'll be taking my leave. Take care, Princess."
Athanasia wanted to scream.
Her frozen feets remained locked in place, her eyes darting to the double door she stormed off from.
What was she going to say?
Athanasia blankly stood rooted to place, contemplating. Before with weak steps, she retraced her steps and quietly entered the office.
Claude was leaning against the table, one hand covering his face and another gripping the edge of the table, veins bulging through the pale skin. When he heard the door open he looked up. His pale expression froze, shoulders stiffening once he saw it was Athanasia.
Looking at her, Claude straighten up and made a move to close the distance but his steps wavered after the first step.
Both of them stared at each other wordlessly. An intangible fear raced through their veins.
What could they say? Wounds were already inflicted and they were irreversible. Were mere words enough to take away the pain?
The past was unveiled before their eyes. Like puppets to a cruel fate, they were once again forced into the roles to relive it. To suffer again helplessly.
A murderer and a victim.
One perpetrator and one innocent.
How were they supposed to confront that? How were they supposed to reconcile with the roles of the past and what they were now?
Was it possible to ignore everything and pretend everything was okay? Would that erase the past?
"Please bring Mom back."
"You don't have to forgive me, Athanasia."
Words overlapped and the silence shattered along with the cloud of hesitation.
Claude lightly shook his head, eyes filled with self-loathing.
"You have every right to resent me, hate me. I'm not going to ask for forgiveness. For my crimes, there isn't. I'll repent for my crimes as long as your fee--"
"That's not what I want!"
Athanasia closed her eyes and shook her head vehemently.
"That's ... that's not what I want."
Claude shut his mouth.
Like a helpless animal in a cage, Athanasia tugged at her hair, her breathing growing rough. "It was a lie. I don't hate daddy. I don't hate you at all."
"..Athanasia."
Athanasia refused to play the role she was forced to before. This wasn't the past. She wasn't the same person. The man standing before her wasn't the same person.
Nothing was the same.
Everything has changed.
He wasn't a murderer. She wasn't a victim.
The present was different.
He was her Dad.
She was his child. His precious daughter.
They were family. A true family.
"I don't want your repentance. I don't care about what happened." Athanasia shook her head. "I just want my family back."
Athanasia had long forgotten the past. She no longer cared what happened. For a little while she was swept under the currents of hatred and grief but she never truly hated her Dad.
In truth, she never moved on from that lonely girl. The little girl from the past was still alive somewhere within her. The abandoned child who wished for nothing more than her father's love, for her own little family was crying.
That girl was still alive. And she was crying, helplessly watching her family fall apart. Again.
"Bring her back." Athanasia cried. "Please Dad, bring Mom back. Don't let Mom go. I don't want it to end like in the past. I want my family together."
Athanasia cried. Lungs heaving with sobs, she curled against her dad's chest, seeking warmth like a lost child.
She burst into tears when Claude's arms came around her, engulfing her in the protection of his body.
"...Of course."
Claude gently swayed the crying girl in his arms, mimicking what you did to soothe him when he was upset.
Claude realized something. The girl crying in his arms had to suffer and carry the burden of the scars of her parents. Carry the scars of his past and suffer the consequences of decisions she never made. Even now, she was inflicted wth countless pains because of the choices made by him, and you.
Now he had to take responsibility. The child was innocent and should not suffer because of him or you.
"Your Mom will be back. I will find her and come back with her. We'll go back to being a family again. I promise." Claude said in low voice. Athanasia lifted her head and Claude carefully wiped her tears.
"I promise the past will remain in the past."