There was a fist that landed against Wei Ying's face. And before he could fall down from the impact, the perpetrator grabbed his collar.
"You said we could finally go home!"
Those words were enough to make his guilt more grave, much harder to carry the burden in his shoulders.
Those shoulders are too frail to carry such a heavy responsibility for someone young like him.
"That's what I thought...hoped toㅡ!"
Wei Ying found it hard to breathe, he found it hard to keep his tears from falling down.
The words that Xue Yang kept uttering was what he wanted too. He hoped to...
He wanted to go home.
But now, it is not possible anymore. Just the simple thought of it drives Wei Ying into madness.
He did this to himself, to the two of them.
Home is a place where he can no longer return to, lest he wants everyone he cherish be seen as the accomplice for helping someone who murdered the Sect Leader of Lanling Jin.
He's enough, he is enough as a villain he is.
Yiling Patriarch, it seems like he'll be entitled as such in this life once again.
"If that's what you thought then why didn't you try to at least alter the future you knew?!"
He wanted to, indeed he did.
"Some useless regressor you are!"
It was not like Wei Ying had wanted to go back in time, it's not like he was given a choice to choose. He didn't even have his whole memory with him.
Wei Ying let the tears fall, "I am indeed useless, aren't I?"
Xue Yang could only grit his teeth, quite surprised that he could still feel frustration.
"At least you have self-awareness."
The younger couldn't bear to see the holder's face for a while, he is quite afraid of what he will do to him the longer he stays in the same space as Wei Ying.
There is a heavy weight on Xue Yang's chest (which quite surprised him again) when he simply watched the exchange that happened between Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying, he couldn't quite believe that the older would go to such lengths and bound him by a measly nail.
If Xue Yang could point the feeling if he was still alive, it would be betrayal.
He felt betrayed.
So in order to calm down, he needs to go away. Just for a short while, a short time was all he needed or God knows what hurtful words he's about to say.
So he left, without a sound. The faster, the better.
And Wei Ying had simply watched the younger leave silently, with a heavy feeling in his chest.
Wei Ying stares blankly for a while before looking up towards the moon, the heavenly body utterly visible even in the middle of the day.
"I miss..."
His gege? No, it was not only the redhead.
He misses the memories he had made in the past together with the other people he cherish.
He then slaps himself across his own face.
"Stop wallowing in your self-pity, Wei Wuxian. You don't deserve it."
He simply took a deep breath before standing up and started walking away.
He walked endlessly without any direction in his mind, not minding the crowd who were busy doing their own businesses. He couldn't care less.
"Dear customer! You look quite sad, how about buying some wine to drown your worries away?"
This merchant quite know how to utilize his mouth to sell his products.
"Then I would like two jars of your beverage."
The man happily chirps away, "Right away dear customer!"
Holding two jars of wine whom he didn't know the name of, Wei Ying continued to walk around the busy streets of Yiling.
Everything was the same, even with the alleyway where he and his brother first met.
"How nostalgic."
It is, but the memory of vicious dogs chasing him around surely is not a fond one.
Since Wei Ying decides to unravel the memory where everything started, he walked into the alleyway with jars of wine clinking around his hand before proceeding to sit down in a certain area.
That certain area is where he lived for months as one of the orphans in Yiling.
As soon as he sat down on the cold pavement, he let out a long and tired sigh.
"Such is life." He says like he is an old man in his eighties.
He continued to fumble around his jar as memories continued to run in his head. Soon enough, he reeks a strong odor of wine and his head is slightly fuzzy, just enough to blur reality around him.
It is what he needed right now.
It is also the reason why he didn't notice that there is another person with him in the dark alleyway.
"Drinking...in broad daylight?"
Wei Ying couldn't help but laugh at those words.
"Why? There is no law that states that drunkards are supposed to drink only in night time."
That...makes sense.
"Unless someone is a killsad and petty enough to create some bullshit like that."
"...Killsad...?"
Killsad, the opposite of a killjoy. Wei Ying named it like that because he couldn't even be emotional for an hour, drinking wine because of progesterone excess in a dark alleyway like where they are currently in.
"Here, drink with me if you want." Wei Ying says in a half-hearted manner.
The latter simply shook his head, but he didn't leave.
The both of them were silent for a while, only accompanied by the rhythmic pitter patter of water somewhere among the dark alley.
Though soon enough, it was broken by the sound of someone's stomach rumbling.
Wei Ying snorts a laughter as he places down the empty bottles of wine beside him before standing, albeit a little wobbly in his feet.
"Let's go eat."
The latter once again shook his head before talking, "I...don't have...any money..."
Wei Ying snorts, "Who says we're eating in a restaurant? I also don't have any pocket money left on me."
The latter blinks in a confused manner, "You...We just met...?"
Who in the world would be in their right mind to invite a total stranger in someone's home?
"Well, I can't exactly ignore someone who is hungry."
It is what he first learned from his older brother after all.
"Then...pardon me...for the intrusion."
"Huppp."
As Wei Ying pulls himself off the ground, he starts to walk away and is soon followed by the guy behind him.
The moment his eyes meet the afternoon lights of Yiling, he squints his eyes for a while before he took a deep breath.
"Let's...huh?"
When Wei Ying took a look at his companion's features, he blinked in confusion.
He doesn't know whether it's the wine intoxicating his mind or not, but he's sure that the man with him is familiar enough to make him regain a bit of his clarity.
"You're not from this part, are you?" Wei Ying begins, in attempt to distract themselves while they walk back in burial mounds.
"Ah...you're not the first...to say that."
Wei Ying purses his lips, "Makes sense. You look foreign enough, even the air you carry around, and your dialect could use a bit of work." He says in a joking manner at the last part.
Black hair, fair skin with a bit of scars hanging around his hands, and the blisters in his palms.
"Ah...I guess."
"So, where is your home? Is it far from here?"
The question brought an air of awkwardness around the two of them, making Wei Ying want to change the topic of not for the other to answer his question.
"Yes, it's far. I don't...even know...if I can go back..."
There was a small ache in his chest when he heard that, and an underlying empathy together with it.
"Then we're on the same situation."
As he said that, the sight of burial mounds came into view.
"My home is a place I can no longer return to."
Awkwardness hung between them again, before Wei Ying clears his throat and spoke again.
"I'll just get some radish. Feel free to wander around or come with me."
"...I will just...stay with you."
The moment he kneels to pluck some vegetables for their lunch, there is something important that Wei Ying had remembered.
"Ah right. I'm Wei Ying, courtesy name, Wei Wuxian. What's your name?"
As he dug the soil to find an already ripe radish, he almost choked on his own saliva when the other spoke his name.
Instead then, he just froze, stiff enough to make him sober.
"It's Choi Han."
Ah, now he knows why this man is really familiar.
"Cale-nim."
There was then a cold glint beside his neck as he tried to look at it with his eyes. The earlier friendly and awkward demeanor from the latter was now gone in a blink of an eye.
"You know me."
It wasn't a question but a statement.
For god's sake, of course he would know him.
Damn it all.
Happiest birthday to Cale-nim, Choi Han, Kim Rok Soo, Choi Jung Gun, and Choi Jung Soo🎉
Imma hibernate againㅡ