I skulked in the shadows as I watched the abhorrent scene unfold before my eyes. Draco's voice quivered with fear as he addressed the headmaster, wand hand shaking just as much as the child-like voice full of tears.
"I have to kill you.. or he's going to kill me." Draco whispered, egged on by his aunt as the rest of our party watched with utter delight, the old man mere inches from the edge of the astronomy tower.
I knew he wouldn't do it. He couldn't do it. My father had already vowed to take his place and complete the atrocious task. However, plans had gone awry and he had been left behind at the Dark Lord's request, ultimately causing him to fail his responsibility to Draco and his mother, ultimately causing him to die from breaking an unbreakable vow. No one knew I had been plotting since we left the manor, since finding out someone would die tonight no matter what.
I silently pulled myself from my dark corner, slithering up behind Draco and meeting the headmaster's sad eyes with a blank expression of my own. He too knew Draco couldn't do it, was expecting my father to step in just as we all were, but here we were, Severus Snape-less.
"Y/n.. please." Dumbledore begged, an overwhelming tiredness in his voice as his kind, wise gaze tried to silently convince me that it was ok, that he wanted this, even if he never wanted me to be the one to have to do it.
Not a single muscle twitched in fear or hesitation as I raised my wand, Draco glancing fearfully back at me as he finally noticed me at his shoulder, two wands now pointed at the headmaster and aimed to kill. However, unlike the other boy's mine was steady and straight as an arrow as I took a breath in and focused my emotions, feeling my own power leak out through my fingertips into the Hawthorne wood.
"Avada Kedavra." I spoke, a green light hitting the old man square in the chest before he plummeted over the side of the astronomy tower. Mere seconds passed but I could have sworn it felt like an eternity before the sickening thud of a body hitting the ground below was heard, the other death eaters cheering and clapping me on the back for my success.
I had managed to numb myself long ago, unable to truly process what I had just done, and roughly grabbed Draco by the wrist, hauling him after me as we fled. The blonde boy stumbled along behind me, hyperventilating, but I dragged him faster, ensuring I got him safely out of there before anyone saw what had happened.
Apparating back to Malfoy Manor Bellatrix danced into the house, singing a merry little song about Dumbledore's untimely death. Draco followed her surprisingly fast, all but sprinting into the house to get away from the rest of the group.
Nevertheless, as soon as I stepped foot in the house I spotted him cornered by the Dark Lord, the noseless freak summoning me over to him as well. At his side stood my father, very much alive and also very confused, his normally pale skin somehow a shade whiter as he tried to work out how exactly he had managed to escape death.
""It is done, I presume?" Voldemort asked in his usual nasally tone.
"Yes, my Lord." Draco responded, swallowing the lump in his throat and trying to calm his shaking voice.
"And you were the one to kill Albus Dumbledore."
"I-uh-well"
"Out with it boy."
"I did it sir." I spoke up, clasping my hands behind my back and meeting the hate filled stare above me with an unbothered expression. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my father wince ever so subtly, now understanding why he hadn't technically failed the demands of the unbreakable vow and why he was still here with us.
"Ahh Ms. Snape. Very well done my child. I always knew the boy didn't have it in him." Voldemort shot a glare at Draco so malicious I was afraid the boy would wet himself. "Draco, we will speak later. Severus, if you will."
Voldemort and my father disappeared back into the meeting room, Draco turning and stumbling away. I remained glued to the spot for a while longer, numbness spreading from my mind to my physical body now that I was out from under the unforgiving eye of my "master".
Finally I made my way back out into the foyer where I barely acknowledged Draco and his mother speaking in hushed whispers, Narcissa trying to comfort her son as he shook in her arms.
"Oh my darling boy I am so, so sorry you had to do that." The Malfoy matriarch cooed, rubbing her son's back as he clung to her sobbing.
"I couldn't do it mother. I couldn't do it." Draco struggled out between gasps.
"What? Who did it then?"
"Y/n.."
I started up the stairs to my bedroom and Narcissa turned to look at me, lips parted in a gasp as she watched me trudge upwards. I had no desire to have her pity me right now or take part in the festivities surely going on wherever the others were. So, I kept my focus pointed solely on my bedroom, making my way towards it one heavy footfall at the time.
Stumbling through the doorway I absentmindedly pushed it closed behind me but didn't lock it, heading straight towards the bathroom to lock myself in there instead. I crawled into the porcelain tub, sitting down with my knees to my chest and burying my face in them with a heavy sigh.
I didn't feel like crying yet but shut my eyes, reveling in the numb feeling permeating my entire being. There were no flashbacks, feelings of hurt or sadness, just blissful nothingness as I sat there listening to my own beating heart reminding me I was still alive unlike Albus Dumbledore, the man I had taken the life of less than an hour ago.
I never heard the light knock on the door, or the squeak as it swung open following an unlocking charm, allowing the older woman to infiltrate my bathroom turned panic room. Narcissa kneeled on the tile floor beside the bathtub, hesitantly resting a hand on my back and beginning to rub slow circular patterns when I didn't reject her touch.
"Y/n?" She whispered, moving the hair out of my face as I just folded in on myself even more.
"Darling please look at me."
I unwillingly sat up, turning my head to look at the other witch. Concern and grief filled her dark brown eyes as she met my gaze, even more worry coming into them as she took note of my deadpan stare.
"Y/n.." Narcissa wrapped her arms around my body, pulling me as close to her as she could while I was still seated in the bathtub. I wrapped my own arms around my torso, leaning into her touch without really feeling it.
The warmth of another person was nice, and feeling slim fingers running up and down my arm reminded me I didn't have to be alone through this. The older witch rested her cheek on top of my head as she murmured reassurances into the air, hot tears dripping into my hair.
"You're ok."
"It's over now."
"I am so sorry you had to do that my love."
We sat there together for some time until it grew uncomfortable, finally feeling the other woman pull away from me. I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes and rubbed at my face, trying to snap myself out of the foggy haze I had fallen into.
"Come on sweetheart. It's late. You should try to get some sleep." Narcissa whispered, helping me out of the bathtub and leading me back into the bedroom.
After pushing me to get in, the older witch crawled into the bed behind me, cuddling me close to her chest as she pressed chaste kisses to my forehead. I didn't have the energy to care anymore, simply nuzzling my face into her and releasing a long sigh.
When I was this numb it was easy to fall asleep, even if it wasn't a very restful slumber. There would be no nightmares, no dreams at all, but they would come sooner rather than later. I was a murderer. There was nothing and no one that could change that.