Was it cruel of me to ask Sebastian to keep our pregnancy a secret when he worked directly with Lawson every single day? Yes.
Did it make me want to change my mind and tell them all? No.
I don't know why but I didn't want to tell anybody. Hell, I wouldn't have told Sebastian if he wasn't the father and there for the confirmation of it.
It just felt... weird.
Sebastian's morning questioning also now had substance. I was 8 weeks now and I was feeling nauseous every morning. And into the day. And into the night.
Morning sickness my ass.
I'd called out of work so many times when I couldn't drag myself away from bed, I was beginning to worry they'd fire me.
"Love, can we at least tell Walters? I'm sure she'd understand..." Sebastian almost begged one morning as I came to the conclusion I was not making it to work again.
I groaned, "No. I'll tell her when I'm ready."
Sebastian clenched his jaw and I could tell he was trying so hard not to get frustrated with my stubbornness. Unfortunately, a trait we both shared and I suddenly realised our poor child was doomed.
"Well at least let me take you back to the Healer. They might have something for you. I can't bear seeing you like this." He suggested.
I agreed, if only to get him off my back.
"Now."
Sebastian's demanding side was both a blessing and a curse. Right now, it was a curse. I wanted nothing more than to just stay in bed and feel sorry for myself and tell myself not to regret letting him get me pregnant.
"Why?" I groaned, burying my head deeper into the pillow.
"Because I can't stand to see you like this for another minute. Let's go."
He dragged me out of the bed and into the bathroom, splashing cool water on my face to make me feel well enough to actually leave the house and slipped a loose fitting dress on me, forgetting half my socially required undergarments.
"I know you want to keep it a secret but I'm not suffocating my baby in that damned corset." He said when I tried to put up a fight.
With a heavy sigh and a few little prayers I wouldn't vomit on the way, he had me heading out to the hospital and we were called up by the same Healer we had seen before.
"Ah, Olive Sallow. How are you going?"
I sank into the chair, feeling the fatigue of the constant nausea and morning sickness wash over me again.
"I've definitely been better," I replied weakly, casting a sideways glance at Sebastian, who had sat next to me with a supportive hand on my thigh.
"Well, morning sickness can be quite challenging for some mothers-to-be." The Healer said, scratching something down on my notes.
"Yeah. Morning sickness..." I mumbled.
"Sorry?" She said, her head lifting with a curious look on her face.
I cleared my throat and forced a weak smile. "I was just agreeing with you. It's been quite a challenge."
Sebastian, ever attentive, chimed in, "No, she's been sick all day and all night, not just in the mornings. Is that normal?"
The Healer nodded, her expression sympathetic. "Yes, it can vary from person to person. 'Morning sickness' is a bit of a misnomer. Some women experience it throughout the day. However, if it's becoming too severe, we can explore some options to help you manage the nausea better."
Sebastian let out a small sigh of relief. "Please, anything that can help."
I frowned. I was handling it. I didn't need help.
"Here are some potions you can take each day, it will help ease the nausea and make you feel more comfortable," the Healer said as she handed me a handful of tiny vials full of a pale pink liquid. "Additionally, I recommend adjusting your diet to include bland foods. Ginger tea can also be helpful."
Sebastian nodded like he was making mental notes of everything. I picked at my nails and studied the ceiling.
We left the hospital with potions in hand, Sebastian making me take one the second we were past the doors to the entrance.
I loved Sebastian. With every fibre of my being. And I adored how much he cared about my well-being but it was almost stifling. He wasn't listening to me or what I wanted to do.
"This wasn't necessary, you know." I said with an annoyed tone and we walked back home. "Are you going to work now?"
"No. And it was necessary. Do you feel better?"
Sebastian's tone was gentle, but his determination was evident. He cared deeply for my well-being, and it was clear that he would stop at nothing to ensure I was comfortable during this challenging time. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that my desires and wishes were being overshadowed by his protective instincts.
"... Yes." I mumbled.
"Good. Then it was worth pissing you off for." He said, flashing me that stupid smirk he always got when something went his way.
And as always, it was contagious and I found myself smiling right back.
Shouldn't have married the cocky pretty boy then...
"Since you feel better, did we want to see Lawson and Ominis today?" He suggested.
"Erm, not to—"
"No, Olive. Not to tell them. You can do that when you're ready as much as it's killing me inside. We just haven't seen Ominis in so long, it might be nice to see them again. Relax a little."
"Fine." I admitted defeat.
Sebastian smiled and squeezed my hand. "Good. We can catch up with them, have a good time, and when you're ready, we'll let them in on the big news."
I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "Thank you for being so patient and understanding, even when I'm being stubborn."
He chuckled. "It's all part of the deal, love. Now, let's go home."
It seemed Sebastian had pre-planned it all anyway because we were heading back straight to Ominis' home without so much as an owl sent.
And neither of them were surprised when Sebastian and I were at the front door.
And dinner was already prepared.
"About time!" Lawson said, opening the door.
I scowled at Sebastian as we stepped inside and took of our coats. And he grinned at me. He knew that I knew that they knew.
I decided to play along, though, and managed a half-hearted smile. "Well, we wouldn't want to miss one of your first hosted events, Lawson."
"It's so good to see you both anyway. Dinner is almost ready if you wanted to sit down." Lawson said.
Ominis must have heard us as he exited his bedroom and made his way over to us with a small smile, gesturing to us to sit down at the table
"Thank you for having us over, Ominis," I said sincerely. "It's good to see you both again."
Sebastian nodded. "Absolutely. And I must say, the timing couldn't be better. I'm sure a good meal will do wonders for Olive's mood."
That prick!
"Oh, is that why you've been off work, Olive?" Lawson called out from the kitchen.
I responded to Lawson's question quickly, "Oh, no, nothing serious. Just a bit under the weather lately. Nothing to worry about."
Ominis, always perceptive, raised an eyebrow. "Sebastian seemed rather concerned, though. He said you'd hurt yourself."
Sebastian's gaze flickered from Ominis to me, throwing me an apologetic look.
"Yeah. That too. Been a rough couple of months." I said, trying to sound confident again but it was faltering slightly.
Lawson served up our dinner shortly after. A simple lamb roast with vegetables and potatoes. Thought I'd never admit it to Sebastian, I was glad he'd taken me to get those potions today because there would have been no doubt the smell of the lamb alone would have had me running straight to the bathroom.
Alongside the plates of dinner, Ominis poured all of us a glass of his favourite red wine.
Fuck.
I couldn't even slip it to Sebastian because he hated wine. Which did beg me to ask the question of why Ominis decided to pull it out today and pour Sebastian a glass of it.
Ominis must have sensed my hesitation while Lawson had Sebastian engaged in some other conversation because he leaned in and whispered, "I hope you don't mind the wine, Olive. It's one of my favourites, and I thought it would pair well with the lamb."
I offered a small, grateful smile in response. "No, not at all. Thank you for the gesture, Ominis. I'll give it a try."
Taking a deep breath, I picked up the glass and pretended to take a sip.
Ominis seemed satisfied with my response, and he leaned back in his chair, resuming his conversation with Sebastian and Lawson. I continued to hold the glass, occasionally lifting it to my lips without actually taking a sip, all the while engaging in the conversation and enjoying the meal.
Sebastian noticed my reluctance to drink the wine and gave me a subtle, reassuring smile.
I was getting away with it.
The longer the evening went on, the more I felt Lawson's curious gaze on me. It was as if he could sense that something was amiss, and I could see the wheels turning in his mind.
"Can I help you?" I snapped at him.
"Olive, answer me this..." He said with an arrogant twang in his voice.
I kept my gaze on Lawson but could feel Sebastian's eyes burning into me deeply, waiting for what was to come.
"I've seen you sipping on that one glass all night, but it's not getting any lower."
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, feeling the weight of Lawson's scrutiny. Sebastian's hand discreetly found mine under the table, providing a reassuring squeeze as he remained silent, allowing me to handle the situation.
I mustered a half-smile and tried to play it off casually. "Well, you know me, Lawson. I've never been much of a drinker. I like to savour my wine slowly."
Lawson's expression remained skeptical. "Slowly, huh? It's been hours, Olive."
"She's been drinking mine too, I've been discreetly filling her glass up. I don't like red wine, sorry, Omi." Sebastian butted in, trying to take the heat off me.
Lawson's gaze shifted from me to Sebastian, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Is that so, Sebastian? You're doing quite the service for Olive's wine glass."
"I suppose I am." He said.
As the conversation shifted and the evening continued, I couldn't shake the feeling that Lawson's suspicion still lingered beneath the surface as he occasionally shot glances at my wine glass... that was actually now being traded with Sebastian's as he forced himself to drink it to cover for me.
But I couldn't keep it up. Every sip of the wine had Sebastian fighting back his own bouts of nausea and he looked absolutely pale, drained of all colour. I was afraid if he took even one more sip, he'd be running off to the bathroom and they'd both assume we had something contagious.
I just couldn't keep up the charade anymore.
I leaned over to Sebastian, my voice barely above a whisper, "Sebastian, I can't let you keep drinking that wine for me. It's making you sick."
Sebastian, looking relieved that I was finally addressing the issue, whispered back, "I was just about to say the same thing, Olive. I can't take another sip without losing it. What do we do now?"
"I'm telling them." I said.
Sebastian's eyes widened. "What? Are you sure? You're ready?"
I nodded.
I watched Sebastian try to hold back his grin as I swallowed the hard lump in my throat, my mind swirling with thoughts on how to approach this.
"Lawson, Ominis," I began, my voice filled with a hint of nervousness, "there's something we've been keeping from you."
Both of them abruptly finished their conversation and turned their heads towards Sebastian and I.
Lawson was grinning. Ominis looked confused.
Sebastian gently squeezed my hand under the table.
Despite the potion I'd taken earlier, I was now confident I was about to throw up.
"I can't..." I whispered to Sebastian. "C-can you..."
Sebastian nodded.
"Olive and I are going to have a baby." He said casually, like it was no big deal, trying to hide how excited he was about the whole thing.
Lawson's grin grew wider, and he jumped up from his seat. "You're going to be parents? That's fantastic news! I bloody knew it!"
Ominis, still trying to catch up with the sudden turn of events, blinked in surprise before he let a small smile grow on his face. "Congratulations, both of you. I'm surprised... but I'm also not."
"How so?" Sebastian asked as Lawson had pulled him into a warm embrace.
"Well, I'm well aware of the... activities that you and Olive participate in that are very likely to lead to a pregnancy... but I sense you are both extremely happy about this. You planned for this, and that is what surprises me." Ominis said.
Lawson moved on to me now, wrapping me so hard in his arms I was worried he'd squash my developing fetus and I'd have to call Sebastian to pry him off me.
"Well, yeah. We did. I'm thrilled to bits, but I think Olive is a bit more hesitant. She'd been really unwell, she's not doing so great." I overheard Sebastian say.
"I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm very proud of you both. This is a big step, but I know you'll both be wonderful parents." Ominis smiled.
The rest of the evening became an almost celebratory event, the wine being put away and many discussions were had about living arrangements, names, due dates and all other sorts of things I truly hadn't put any thought into.
Sebastian began to notice my weariness and made up some excuse for us to leave.
"By the way, this is to stay between us. We weren't even going to tell you tonight." Sebastian said.
"Understood." Lawson said, speaking for the both of them.
Lawson and Ominis assured us that our secret was safe with them, and I couldn't help but appreciate their understanding and discretion in the form of a group hug with tears, from me anyway.
As we stepped out of Ominis' home that Lawson seemed to have partially moved in to and into the cool night air, I couldn't help but notice the sky, painted with a deep indigo, studded with stars that shimmered like diamonds.
It was comforting.
Sebastian closed the door behind us, and we walked hand in hand down the short path that led to the street.
The soft glow of streetlights illuminated our path and I leaned my head on Sebastian's shoulder, feeling the softness of his coat against my cheek. His presence was a constant source of comfort, and I was grateful for the way he had supported me throughout the evening.
As we reached our own doorstep, Sebastian turned to me with a tender smile, his eyes reflecting the same happiness and relief that I felt. "Well, love," he said, "I'd say that went rather well. Do you feel better?"
I nodded, a contented smile on my face. "Yes, it did. I'm glad we told them now. It feels like a weight lifted off our shoulders."
Sebastian leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. "Me too," he murmured against my mouth. "Now, let's focus on taking care of you and our little one."
And we did. Despite my initial hesitance, the potions worked great and I was finally feeling like myself again.
Every Tuesday morning Sebastian would wake up and remind me how many weeks along I was.
"Happy twelve weeks!" He said one rainy morning, waking me up with a ginger tea that he insisted I drink every morning just in case the potion didn't work.
"Mmm." I yanked the pillow over my head and mumbled from beneath it, "I appreciate the reminders, Seb, but do you have to be so chirpy at this ungodly hour?"
"Yes, and I'd hardly call it ungodly when you need to get up for work." He said with a small smile.
I peeked out from under the pillow, giving him a sleepy smile. "Mornings are not my thing right now."
"I know, love," he replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed and offering me the cup of ginger tea. "Are you feeling up to work today?"
I took the cup of tea and sipped it slowly, "I can manage today. I've been feeling better, thanks to you and those potions."
Sebastian leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I'm glad to hear that. I knew you'd thank me eventually."
"Hm. I don't remember saying thank you for kidnapping me and forcing me to visit a hospital." I grinned.
"Oh, how you wound me, Olive." He said, holding a hand over his chest like I'd just stabbed him. "Regardless, it was clearly the right decision."
A hummed a little in agreeance before finishing the tea and dragging myself out of bed to prepare for the day.
Work was boring as usual, though I had a little more focus these days. I let my partner continue to thumb through old files while I checked some letters that had come through overnight and responded to a few that required my attention. My mind often wandered to thoughts of the baby and the changes that were coming into our lives. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking but mostly distracting.
As the day went on and I felt myself growing weary, I couldn't help but perk up a little when I received an enchanted letter from Sebastian that flew in through the door.
"Thinking about you and our spawn. How's your day going?"
I quickly penned a response and enchanted it the same way to fly towards his office,
"It's going well. Boring. Can't wait for bed."
Sebastian's reply was almost immediate,
"Counting down the hours. Love you, Olive."
His little notes filled me with warmth and happiness which was cut short when one of the secretaries for Walters walked into our office.
"Walters wants to see you." The gruff voice said, looking at me.
"Right now?" I confirmed
"Now."
I grumbled a little and quickly stuffed my papers back into the desk and made the dreary walk down to Walters office.
A million thought ran through my head. I hadn't spoken to her since the "off-the-books" assignment that was more than three months ago.
Maybe she knew I was pregnant and they were firing me. They wouldn't want a pregnant Auror working out on the field, surely...
"Walters?" I said softly as I knocked on the door.
"Come in, Sallow." Her voice replied, not really giving me anything to work with.
"You wanted to see me?" I asked.
Walters nodded and gestured towards a chair. "I did. Take a seat."
She stared at me with a measured gaze before finally speaking as I sat down.
"It's not good news, Sallow."
Fuck. She had to know I was pregnant. Goodbye income!
"The incident with Harris has been an ongoing investigation for months now... and I'm afraid they want to hold someone responsible.
Double fuck.
"That someone is you."
Fuck fuck fuck!
"Y... you made the job off the books." I said, my head shaking with confusion.
Walters sighed, "That I did. And I apologise. It may have been a misjudgement on my behalf."
Understatement of the year...
"But... why me? I wasn't the only one there." I stammered, my mind racing to find a way out of this predicament.
Walters leaned forward, "The investigators believe that someone needs to be held accountable for the death of Harris, and it's falling on you as the Auror involved. The one who cast the curse at him. They want to make an example."
I clenched my fists, frustration and fear welling up inside me. This was the last thing I needed right now. Sebastian was going to lose his mind. "This is unfair, Walters. You made it that way and Harris was a dangerous threat. He was going to kill Sebastian!"
"I suppose that's something they considered in their decision." She said.
Wait. Decision? "What decision?"
My heart was pounding now. I was certain Walters could likely hear it from across the desk.
Walters hesitated for a moment. "The decision to arrest you, Sallow. You'll get a trial, but it's not looking good. You cast the killing curse while not on an official mission."
Oh, fuck. Shit. No.
My mind went straight to the first thing I remembered reading about the Wizarding community in America when we decided to move here.
They didn't have Azkaban.
They had the death penalty.
I had seen the room they did it in.
The death cell.
The potion stopped working. I wanted to throw up.
"Y-you, they... can't! Amelia, I'll die!" I pleaded, "You can stop them!"
"I'm so sorry, Sallow. I can't, my hands are tied here. When you leave this room, they will be waiting."
My world felt like it was crumbling around me. The possibility of facing the death penalty for a decision made to save Sebastian on a mission that she didn't want done through the proper way... it should have been her in this position. I felt a crushing weight on my chest, and the room seemed to close in on me.
Tears welled up in my eyes as panic set in. I thought of Sebastian, of our unborn child, and the life we had planned together. All of it was moving further and further away from me, I was going to lose it all. Sebastian was going to lose it all.
He wouldn't handle this.
His parents.
Anne.
Me.
Our baby.
There was no way he'd make it through this.
Walters' voice was like white noise in my ears as she continued to speak about the trial, the legal procedures, and what I could expect. But her words were a blur, drowned out by the overwhelming dread that had settled over me.
I didn't even let her finish before I jumped out of my seat and left her office to see two large armed men waiting for me just like she said.
"No. No, please! You can't!" I pleaded with them.
But it was futile.
The two armed men stood there, unmoved by my pleas. Their expressions were stern and it was clear that they were just following orders.
I felt utterly helpless as they yanked my arms behind me and pulled my wrists into cuffs, leading me away from Walters' office, down a corridor that seemed to stretch on forever.
"Stop! Please!" I continued to beg even though I knew it was useless.
My pleas had drawn unwanted attention as officials poked their heads out from everywhere, but it did grab the attention of the one person I wanted.
"Seb! Sebastian!" I cried out, my voice barely a croak.
"Olive? What the fuck is going on? Stop!" Sebastian cried out, reaching to try and yank me back from their arms. But they simply nudged him away and he was pulled back by yet another official.
"Get the fuck off me!" He called out, trying to shake the man off his arm.
I think Sebastian realised it was useless. He couldn't take me from them.
"I'll get you out, Olive! I promise! I love you!"
I couldn't even look back, they were pulling me so hard to get me away, to not make a bigger scene.
Tears streamed down my face, and my legs felt like lead as I was escorted out of the building and into an enchanted carriage. I couldn't escape it. It led me away to somewhere I wasn't familiar with, then I was thrown into a room filled with stern-faced officials. It was a cold, unforgiving atmosphere that seemed designed to break the spirit of those who entered.
It reminded me of the stories I'd heard of Azkaban.
"Sleep tight, Princess. Trial starts tomorrow, they like to get the formalities over quicker so we can get to the fun part." One of the gruff officials said as they slammed the door in my face.
And then I finally vomited.