Warning: Smut ahead... this one is special 😉
I squeezed my eyes closed. Then open. Then closed.
I don't know what was worse. The darkness or the constant state of bleariness from my tears pooling along my lash line.
"Liv, open them. Come on." Sebastian soothed me, his index finger drawing soft lines down my cheek.
I listened to him and I opened them. Then I blinked and when the tears finally spilled and rolled down my cheek, my vision became clear again.
Sebastian looked disheveled. His shirt was wet from sweat, the collar sticking to his neck area and looking transparent. His hair was a mess, tufts sticking up all over the place.
I suppose it's probably fair given he'd be subject to the Cruciatus curse. Again.
"How... how are you feeling?" I managed to choke out, my voice sounding anything like my normal one.
"I'm fine. Truly. Don't worry about it. I've been through much, much worse." He assured me with a small smile as if he was trying to hide the pain he was so clearly in from me.
"That doesn't make this any less important, Sebastian." I scowled.
"You're right. But I am truly okay, trust me. Come on. We need to get you to to bed. We will sort everything else out tomorrow."
I nodded and let Sebastian pull me onto my weary feet and lead me to our bedroom. He helped me change out of my clothes and slipped a night gown over my head, simply opting for a plain pair of pyjama pants for himself. He slid back the covers on our bed and helped me slide inside, climbing in beside me and pulling my head onto his bare chest.
His hand traced patterns down my spine, attempting to soothe me, but it almost tickled. And I found my own fingers tracing the lines and scars on his body, suddenly riddled with guilt again remembering they were all from me. The scar down his side from being sliced by Diffindo. The large one right down the middle of his chest from being cracked open to repair his broken ribs and lungs. I'd caused so much harm in his life.
It was all my fault. And now, he's been subjected to the cruciatus curse again.
"It's not your fault." He whispered into my hair, his eyes still closed
Fucking mind reader.
I feigned sleep, though I had the feeling Sebastian did the same, neither of us wanting to drift off until we were sure the other was. But being in the safety of his arms calmed me enough to at least rest a little.
My eyes hurt.
My lungs hurt.
My chest hurt.
"Did you sleep at all?" Sebastian asked me as the first hints that sunrise was approaching was drifting through the window that Sebastian had forgotten to draw the curtains on last night.
"No." I said softly, taking his alertness as an opportunity to snuggle in closer to him.
"Me neither. At least we tried." He said with a yawn.
Then he cuddled me harder and pressed a kiss to my hair, sighing so hard some stray strands were blown down onto my forehead.
I mumbled something incoherent back, I wasn't even sure what I'd attempted to try and say.
"We should go back to Walters first. Let her know what happened if Ominis and Lawson haven't already. Then we should probably pay a visit to Harris' mother."
Fuck. I felt even worse. Ill even. Having to face her again with news her son was dead was not something I was particularly fond of doing. Especially with no sleep and especially when it was I who caused his demise.
But if I didn't do it, I'd be a widow...
That's irrelevant. You still did it.
It was as if Sebastian sensed the torment in my mind as he yanked me out of the bed and threw me into a cool shower to wake up while he made me a coffee. I pretended it helped. It didn't.
"Thanks," I murmured, taking a sip of the hot, bitter liquid. It scalded my tongue, but it was a welcome distraction.
Sebastian leaned against the kitchen counter, his gaze fixed on me. "You're eating yourself alive with this, aren't you?"
"Just a little." I responded, placing the mug back on the table.
Sebastian's shoulders rolled back a little, "Well, don't. Blaming yourself won't change what's happened. We did what we had to do to protect ourselves. Harris made his choices, and we can't carry that burden for him."
Sebastian was increasingly right most of the time. I'm not sure if I loved it or hated that he was now the voice of reason. It meant I was slipping. Though his words didn't calm my stomach nor my head.
He pushed himself away from the counter and walked over to me. He took my hands in his, his eyes locking onto mine with a deep intensity. "Olive, it will be alright. I promise."
I felt a lump in my throat as Sebastian's eyes bore into mine. I nodded, unable to find my voice, and he pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Come on, the sooner we get it over with, the sooner we get back to normal, alright?" Sebastian's mouth tickled my scalp and he hummed words of reassurance into my ear.
I responded with some sort of sound but I'm glad he understood as he stood up again and helped me to my feet.
We headed out the door and began the trip to the MACUSA building, my legs not working as well as I wanted them too. Sebastian was walking too fast and my lungs hurt from trying to keep up.
As we arrived at the MACUSA building, the familiar imposing structure seemed colder and more unwelcoming than ever. We made our way straight through to Walter's office.
I tapped on the door softly, half expecting there to not be an answer given it was so early. But the familiar warm voice instructed me to come in.
"You look like shit, Sallow." She said, gesturing towards the chairs in front of us.
"I realise. I didn't sleep well." I said, trying really hard to not sound as awful as I felt. And apparently looked.
"I was pleased to hear Mr. Carr was liberated. He and Mr. Gaunt came through last night. They explained what had happened... Olive, you cast the Killing Curse on Harris?"
Sebastian's hand reached for my thigh and squeezed it gently, trying to encourage me to be brave.
"I-I did."
"And you're 100% confident it was necessary?" Walters leaned forward on her elbows. It was sort of intimidating.
"Absolutely. If I hadn't have done it, you'd have Sebastian's death on your hands instead. He was about to cast it on him. I simply beat him to it." I said with confidence. I think I'd convinced her.
Walters leaned back in her chair, her fingers steepled in front of her as she processed our words. After a moment of silence, she let out a heavy sigh.
"I understand the gravity of the situation," she said, her voice softer now. "And I appreciate your honesty. The Killing Curse is not something to be used lightly, but in self-defense, it can be justified."
Relief washed over me as I realised that she wasn't condemning our actions outright.
"You understand there will be questions asked about this? I know we said off the books but this wasn't the outcome I expected at all." Walters said, her brows furrowing with concern.
"With all due respect, I think you may have been underestimating Harris. He was double-crossing everyone. For years. And the lengths he was willing to go to in an attempt to hide it... he cast the Cruciatus curse." Sebastian said. His hand on my thigh gripped tighter to the point it almost hurt, but I had to bite my tongue to not alert Amelia Walters to his hands on my body while we were at work.
"He used it? On Carr?" Walters eyes narrowed.
"No. Me." Sebastian remained completely calm though I could feel his rapid heartbeat through his palm on my leg. "And the Imperius curse on Lawson."
Her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose as things got more and more complicated.
"Leave it with me while I sort out this mess. I'm sorry that things went the way they did. You're excused."
Sebastian and I nodded and left her office. I hadn't realised I'd been holding my breath until we left and my lungs expelled everything I'd been holding in quite loudly.
"Love, I'm going to take you home." Sebastian said, linking our arms together and walking me straight back the way we came.
My eyes widened and my feet planted firmly to the ground. "What? No."
"Yes. Don't argue with me, you're going home to bed." Sebastian demanded.
"But, work?"
"No work. Bed."
I had no choice but to follow him, because I knew his next option was to just hoist me over his shoulder and carry me home.
So I followed his instructions, making sure I complained about it the whole way home.
Once we arrived home, Sebastian guided me to our bedroom, and I didn't resist this time. I changed into more comfortable bed clothes and crawled into bed, feeling the exhaustion hit me like a wave.
"Are you joining me?" I asked with a deep yawn, my eyes already losing the battle to stay open.
"No. I'm heading out to Barnaby's mother's house. I'll break the news to her. You, sleep."
I hesitated for a moment, torn between my concern for Sebastian and my need for rest. "Please be careful, Sebastian..." I whispered, my eyes already closed.
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I will, love. Now get some rest."
I heard the click of the front door as Sebastian left and immediately succumbed to the sleep I so desperately needed.
I don't know how long I slept for, but my previously dreamless sleep became a battleground for my inner demons.
I found myself standing in a dimly lit, eerie room. The walls seemed to close in on me, and a chilling breeze swept through, sending shivers down my spine. At the center of the room, I saw Barnaby Harris, his face twisted into a malevolent grin.
"You killed me, Olive," he hissed. "You had no choice, you say, but you wanted it, didn't you? It doesn't work unless you want it to."
I tried to respond, but my voice was silenced by an overwhelming sense of dread.
Harris raised his wand, and it gleamed with a sinister green light. He pointed it directly at me. "Avada Kedavra."
The green curse erupted from his wand, hurtling toward me with terrifying speed. I couldn't move, couldn't escape. The curse struck me, and I felt an excruciating pain coursing through my body. It was as if my very soul was being torn apart.
But just before the darkness consumed me, another voice pierced through the nightmare. It was Sebastian's voice. He was calling me.
"Olive! Wake up!"
I jolted awake in our bed, gasping for breath, my heart pounding in my chest. The room was bathed in dim moonlight. I realised that Sebastian had returned and was sitting beside me, his hand gently shaking my shoulder.
"It's alright, love," he murmured soothingly, "You're safe. It was just a nightmare."
I wiped the beads of sweat off my brow with my wrist, sliding back into bed.
"What happened?" He asked, tucking the strands of hair that had been glued to my forehead back behind my ear.
"Harris." That was all my voice managed to squeak out.
Sebastian sighed. Not out of frustration or annoyance, but as if he understood. He quickly rid himself of his boots and most of his layers of clothing and slipped under the covers, sliding an arm under my body.
"I understand." He whispers as our noses pushed together softly.
I was grateful for his presence right now. If anyone was going to know the nightmares that followed successfully casting the killing curse, it was Sebastian.
"It's just a dream, Olive," he whispered softly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on my back. "You did what you had to do to protect us."
I nodded, my eyes beginning to adjust to the darkness as I gazed into Sebastian's understanding eyes. "I know, but... it's hard to shake off the guilt and I can't even escape it in my sleep."
Sebastian's thumb brushed against my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "I know, love. Trust me, I know."
He sighed hard, briefly shutting his eyes for a moment before opening them again.
"I... I still see Solomon sometimes. He haunts me. It's been six years, Olive. But I relive it in my dreams like it happened yesterday. I see the colour drain from his face, his eyes go blank, all because of me. I hear Anne's screams. The look on her face when she realised what I had done. It never leaves me." Sebastian's voice croaked slightly as he mentioned Anne.
"Seb... I-"
"It's alright, Olive. You don't need to show me pity. I'm used to it. I don't think I even scream anymore." Sebastian said. The corner of his lips turned slightly into the start of a smile.
"I'm sorry."
"I said don't pity me." He frowned. The smile was gone.
"I don't. But I am sorry. I'm sorry we're both all sorts of shades of fucked up. But I'm glad we have each other. Maybe one day, we'll be able to finally be content and happy." I said, now my lips were curling into a smile.
"Maybe one day." Sebastian repeated.
My mind did flicker briefly to the one thing that I knew would make us both content and happy. To be complete honest, I'd been thinking about it for months...
He shifted himself closer to me and pressed his warm, soft lips against mine. I kissed him back with equal tenderness, our mouths moving together perfectly in sync.
"Sebastian..." I said against his mouth.
"Mmm?" He mumbled back.
"I... I think..."
"Why are you thinking right now? Are my skills that lacking?" He stifled a laugh, pulling back from me.
I chuckled softly at Sebastian's teasing. His warm breath brushed against my cheek as he looked into my eyes, waiting for me to continue.
"I think," I began again, my fingers tracing patterns on his chest, "that I might be ready."
"Huh?" His eyes widened, unsure if he knew what I actually meant and was looking for clarification.
I grinned mischievously, leaning in even closer so our noses brushed together. "I noticed you forgot to take your potion this morning in our rush to leave."
I didn't think it were possible, but Sebastian's eyes widened even further. "Are you serious? You're not joking?"
"No. I'm not."
Sebastian stared at me in disbelief for a moment, and then a slow smile spread across his face. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise," he said.
"It is." I said, my own face twisting into a smile. "So I suppose it's up to you now, if you want to, you ca—"
Sebastian pounced on me, like a fucking tiger stalking it's prey. I barely had time to react before he was unbuttoning his shirt as fast as his fingers would allow him, his mouth exploring mine with a fervour I'd never seen from him before.
His intensity almost had me wanting to change my mind again.
"S-Seb..." I tried to pant between kisses, "Perhaps. This could be. A little more romantic."
Sebastian's desire burned like a wildfire, his hunger for this moment palpable. He tore at my clothes with a raw, primal urgency, his lips never leaving mine.
"Since when is anything we do in this bed romantic?" He said, his words muffled by my lips.
He did have a point. Sebastian and I were less romantic and more... passionate. One wouldn't put the words coming out of either of our mouths in the former category. I just prayed every time that none of our neighbours were overly religious people and if they were that they weren't actually listening.
Fabric continued to fall away as I joined in his haste at removing every bit of clothing separating us. Our eager hands continued their exploration, fingers fumbling with buttons as we shed the last remnants of our clothing.
Finally, Sebastian's chest was firm beneath my touch, each muscle defined and inviting from his years training as an Auror. I couldn't help but run my fingertips along his abdomen, tracing the lines of his physique, the scars leftover from our battles together, reveling in the sensation of his warmth against my own bare skin.
"Your beauty never ceases to amaze me." Sebastian said, smiling as be brought his mouth down towards my bare neck, leaving delicate traces of his teeth and saliva as he nibbled and licked his way down to my collarbone.
My breath hitched as Sebastian's lips descended further, tracing a scorching path down my collarbone and along the gentle curve of my shoulder. His teeth grazed my skin again, causing me to arch my back in response with a soft moan.
Sebastian's hands, still exploring my body with a fervent hunger, found their way to my breasts. He cupped them gently, his thumbs brushing teasingly over my nipples, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to my core. I gasped, my fingers tangling in his hair as he worshipped my breasts, lavishing them with the attention they sorely ached for.
My body quivered as Sebastian continued to mould my breasts with an intensity that made my head spin. His lips trailed lower, leaving a line of sloppy kisses down my chest, his tongue finally flicking over my hardened nipples. Waves of pleasure coursed through me with every touch, each sensation growing more intense than the last.
Sebastian's fingers worked in perfect harmony with his mouth, gently squeezing and kneading my breasts, his touch both tender and slightly possessive. I arched my back further, pressing my chest into his hands, inviting him to explore every inch of me as much as he desired.
He moved on, kissing his way down my abdomen, leaving a trail of wet, heated kisses, the cool night air mixing with the trail of saliva he was leaving, giving me goosebumps. His breath danced against my skin, and I almost squeaked in anticipation as he moved lower, inching closer to the spot I ached for him most.
Sebastian's lips continued their slow descent until he reached the inside of my thighs, parting my legs with his wrists. His fingers joined in the teasing, spreading me open with his expert touch. My heart raced, and my body arched again in response to the burning sensation of his warm breath hovering against my core. I was getting desperate. And he knew it.
"Seb-Sebastian. Please."
For someone who started this so eager and keen, he now had no qualms taking his time in making sure I was practically begging for his touch.
"Only because you're my wife... and you said please." He growled.
With a devilish glint in his eyes, Sebastian lowered his head, and his tongue flicked out, teasingly tracing circles around my most sensitive spot. Finally.
My breath hitched as Sebastian's tongue danced expertly around my swollen nub, sending electric shocks of pleasure coursing through my body. My fingers clenched the sheets tightly as I writhed in ecstasy, my hips instinctively arching upward to meet his teasing mouth.
Sebastian was relentless. He explored every inch of my desire, taking me to the brink of bliss and then pulling back, a wicked smile dancing on his lips as he reveled in my longing.
"Sebastian," I moaned, unable to contain the sweet torture he was subjecting me to. "Please, don't make me wait any longer."
With a seductive chuckle, he relented, his mouth closing around my throbbing core and giving me the sweet release I was craving.
"F... fuck! Sebastian!" I cried out, my hands releasing the grip on the sheets and flying to his head, pushing him down lower as my thighs clamped hard against his head.
He let out moans himself as my legs held him in place, not letting him tease me this time. Wave after wave crashed over me as my entire body started to tremble under his touch, the vibration of his low voice aiding in my pleasure.
With a final, intense surge of pleasure, I came undone, my entire body quaking with the force of my climax. Sebastian lapped up my sweet release drawing out my pleasure for as long as possible until I couldn't take anymore. My thighs relaxed and I yanked him up by his hair.
He wore a devilish smirk, his hair a mess and his face even messier. His nose and chin glistened with a mixture of my own arousal and his saliva.
"Oh, love. You have no idea what I'm about to do to you." He groaned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
I mean... I had some idea.
But I played dumb.
"Oh?" I whispered, teasing.
Sebastian's hands slid up my thighs, his fingers tracing a path of fire along my skin as he shifted up the bed, moving closer, his body now hovering above mine. His eyes locked onto mine, a hunger burning in them as he positioned himself between my legs.
With one hand, he took himself in his hands and slid himself up and down my folds, collecting the mixture of fluids we'd just created.
He kept his eyes locked on mine as he slowly pushed himself into me, a groan escaping his lips.
"God, you feel so good. I never get tired of that feeling." He whispered, his brown eyes still locked firmly onto mine.
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer until our bodies were pressed tightly together, forcing him to push more of himself into me. Our lips finally met, tongues dancing as I tasted myself on his lips.
His hands that were once gentle and tender, now gripped my hips with an almost bruising force, fingers squeezing and nails digging in. Sebastian's hips began to move with a fierce intensity, each thrust pushing me further against the headboard. My hands flew up to brace myself and frankly stop myself from snapping my neck against the bed frame.
Sebastian's roughness took me by surprise, it always did. Though I knew I shouldn't be shocked by now. We'd been performing this intimate dance for over four years now and Sebastian had a tendency to enjoy staking his claim on what he believed was rightfully his. And it was usually with sheer dominance.
The sensation of his powerful thrusts and the commanding grip of his hands on my hips sent electric shocks of pleasure coursing through my body again. It was an intensity I had experienced with him many times before, but it still left me utterly consumed by the raw passion between us.
My hands moved back to cling to him desperately, my nails digging into his back as he drove deeper into me. The headboard rattled against the wall with each powerful thrust and my wrists almost couldn't keep me from slamming into it anymore
"Sebastian," I gasped, unable to contain the overwhelming pleasure that surged through me. "Yes, yes!"
My walls clenched around him, causing his own wanton moans to escape his clenched teeth.
"Oh, fuck, Olive..." Sebastian whimpered.
I could sense that he was nearing his own climax, his thrusts growing more urgent and desperate. Our bodies were slick with sweat and the sounds of our hips colliding continued to fill the room, driving me even more wild.
"Are you sure you want this?" He panted, presumably realising himself just how close he was.
"Never. Been surer..." I managed to get out between desperate moans.
"Ah! Fuck!" He moaned back at me.
He slammed into me harder and faster, something I didn't even know was possible, until my back was arching and my throat was tearing out sounds I didn't even know I was capable of making.
"Fill me, Sebastian... fucking come in me." I cried out.
Sebastian didn't need the encouragement, but he sure appreciated it as my desperate pleas for his load inside me drove him over the edge. One of the hands that previously had a death grip on my hips flew to the headboard, his knuckles turning white as he let hot ropes of release spill into me.
I clung to him, my body trembled as the headboard continued to rattle against the wall until his pace slowed enough to pull out without completely making a mess of our sheets. Sebastian rolled to the side and immediately pulled me onto his chest, allowing us to catch our breath. We lay there in a tangled, sweaty heap, hearts racing, and bodies quivering from the intensity of our romp.
Sebastian's forehead rested against mine, his ragged breaths mingling with my own.
"You're so fucking pregnant." He panted, leaving kisses across my slick forehead.
"Sebastian!" I scolded, trying to pull myself away from him. "These things take months! I managed to not fall pregnant on our trip here, if you recall."
"I know." He smirked. "But you're pregnant."
Sebastian's stubborn declaration had me rolling my eyes and chuckling at his sheer determination.
"What are you, a Seer?" I teased, "Fine. I'll indulge your fantasies."
He grinned, pulling me even closer. "It's not a fantasy, Olive. I know these things."
It earned him another eye roll, but this time I tucked myself in closer and let my relaxed state lull me into a deep sleep. This time, nightmare free.