warning: moderately spicy content
"Good morning, gorgeous!"
I tried not to visibly cringe as Garreth greeted me outside the common room as we usually did for our walks.
"Oh, did you not sleep well?"
"No, not really Garreth, but it's alright. I'm certain a walk will help me wake up a little."
We made our way out of the castle and took our normal route up to Aranshire, but I decided I would take him to a slightly different vantage point. I didn't want to taint the one we shared before by dumping him on it, in case he still wanted to use it.
"Hm, interesting choice. But I suppose you still get a good view here." Garreth commented about my choice to drag him to another spot.
"Yeah..." I inhaled deeply and prepared myself to break the news to him.
"I wanted to-"
"Can we-"
Shit.
"No please, you go first." I said, holding my breath.
"I was going to say I wanted to ask if you'd like to accompany me to The Three Broomsticks this weekend. I've asked Sirona to reserve a spot upstairs."
"Oh... y-yes, of course."
"Great! How about Saturday night? I'll swing past the dungeons and pick you up."
You fucking idiot, Olive!
I tried to find another moment to try and approach the subject that maybe this whole thing wasn't working but that only seemed to be from my side. As far as Garreth knew, everything was going great. It wasn't his fault I'd had this stupid little crush on Sebastian since our fifth year and I was finally getting to act on it.
So I chickened out completely and decided I would try and tell him another day, preferably before Saturday.
He walked me back to the Slytherin common room to get ready for the day and I wasn't surprised when he leaned in to kiss me again. This one was more delicate and I suppose slightly more romantic that the last time he kissed me outside my common room.
I hated myself for letting him do it knowing how I truly felt about it. I felt like I was leading him on... which I absolutely was.
"Mmm goodbye Garreth." I said, pulling my arms between us and prying us apart.
"I'll see you later, Olive. Thanks for the walk!"
I watched him walk away with a cheery pep in his step and I felt my heart fall into the pits of my stomach. I was going to absolutely break this guys heart.
"Well, he took that well."
I turned around quickly to see Sebastian had appeared from somewhere and was looking at me with him arms folded across his chest, staring at me less than impressed.
"I'm sorry! I tried to do it but he makes it so difficult! Also, are you stalking me?"
"No, I'm not stalking you. I'd been down to breakfast early and was on my way back when I spotted you snogging the guy you were supposed to be ending things with."
I felt myself get a little mad at Sebastian. It seemed he was trying to stake a claim on me and wanted me to himself though he hadn't actually committed to anything with me. I suddenly felt like an object.
"What's wrong? You don't like sharing?" I challenged him, my own arms finding their way across my chest and I threw him a devilish grin.
"Not when it comes to you." He said quite seriously.
"Well, Sebastian. Unfortunately you haven't really given me anything to even consider making myself off-limits to others."
He scoffed at me loudly, "Why would I commit myself to you when you can't even make up your mind between who you want to be with?"
"So, you want to be with me?"
"Well... I-uh..."
I finally had Sebastian tripping over his words. He was stunned. Beating him at his own game was something I relished in.
"I can't be in a relationship with you, if that's what you're asking." He finally composed himself enough to speak.
Safe to say, it wasn't the answer I was expecting and it was rather disappointing.
"Then why would I consider giving up something that could be real and meaningful with Garreth for someone who can't even commit to being with me?" I replied, my frustration evident in my voice.
Sebastian looked taken aback by my response, "It's not that simple, Olive. I have my reasons. But if you want to risk hurting Garreth when he finds out what you've been doing, don't blame me."
He shoved past me and made his way back to the common room.
"For fucks sake..." I mumbled.
I followed him in and chased him down, catching him just as he entered his dormitory.
"Can you at least tell me why you can't be in a relationship?" I demanded.
"No," He said, avoiding looking at me and digging through his abundance of books and trunk to gather what he needed for class.
"Why?" I pressed.
"I told you. It's not that simple." His voice was growing louder.
"Sebastian, we've been friends for years now, the least you can do is tell me why so I can try and stop these feelings I have."
He stopped digging through his trunk and looked up at me. His brown eyes looked softer than moments earlier.
"Feelings?"
"Yes, Sebastian. Feelings. For you."
Sebastian's eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, he seemed at a loss for words. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, terrified of his response. But I had come this far, and I needed to be honest with him.
"If you don't feel the same way, that's fine," I continued, trying to steady my voice. "But I can't keep pretending like I don't have these feelings for you. It's not fair to you, to me, or to Garreth. I need to know where we stand."
"Olive, I have had feelings for you pretty much since the moment I laid my eyes on you, why do you think I fuck around with you? But I've repressed them all this time. And I'll continue to do it... because I told myself I would never let anyone get close to me again. I can't do it, and I won't. I've lost too many people already. So I'll happily give you the pleasure I know you seek, but I cannot be with you emotionally. I'm sorry."
My heart sank as I listened to Sebastian's words. A part of me was relieved that he finally acknowledged his feelings for me, but at the same time, I was heartbroken by his refusal to let anyone get close to him emotionally. It was clear that he carried deep wounds from his past, and my heart ached for him.
"I understand Sebastian, I really do and I am truly sorry that your life so far has led you to feel this way. I'll never force you to do anything you don't want to, as much as it breaks my heart."
He looked away, unable to meet my gaze again. "I appreciate that, Olive. But this is the way it has to be."
The disappointment clung to my heart and I had to tell myself this was not worth shedding a tear over.
"Sorry. I'll see you in class." He mumbled.
He gathered his books in his arms and headed out, leaving me alone in his dorm.
I don't know why he bothered to run off because we had Potions first class today and I'm sure Sharp wouldn't let him move spots due to our flawless Amortentia work in our previous lesson. And sure enough when I arrived, Sebastian was sat in Duncan Hobhouse's old seat.
"Hey," I said softly, placing my textbook next to him.
He flicked me a small smile and went back to his reading.
Prick.
Today was less practical and was about Golpalott's Third Law which was absolutely boring. The disadvantage of reading ahead in the coursework was knowing this already.
I struggled to keep my head upright and placed my head delicately in the palm of my hand, letting it be supported by my elbow on the table... surely a moment of shut eye won't hurt and we are so far at the back of the class Sharp wouldn't even notice.
Well, so I thought. I didn't realise my head was slipping until it slammed down onto the table and sent both mine and Sebastian's cauldrons rolling off the table and onto the floor and banging loudly, drawing the eyes of every single person in the room.
"What in Merlin's name is going on over there?" Professor Sharp bellowed, stopping his lecture on making antidotes.
"Sorry, sir, it was my fault," Sebastian said, collecting the two cauldrons off the floor.
"Sebastian!" I whispered loudly, but he simply held a hand out towards me.
"I don't believe you, Mr. Sallow. Detention for you both for lack of attention."
I saw Sebastian's face change to disappointment but he bit his lip and accepted his fate.
"What did you do that for?" I hissed, "You didn't fall asleep!"
"You would have done the same." He said under his breath, refocusing on the textbook laid in front of him.
I managed to avoid Sebastian for the rest of the day until we arrived back at Sharp's classroom as the day wrapped up to serve our detention.
"Thank you both for joining me. Unfortunately I've got you both here for the next two hours due to your lack of interest in my class. I know you are both incredibly bright students and you've likely taken upon yourselves to learn this early, but I must urge you to at least pretend to be interested."
"Yes sir." We both said in unison.
"Right, you'll both be re-labelling all the jars and vials in the store room. They are getting hard to read. I suggest whoever has the neatest handwriting make the new labels. I'll be back in two hours."
Sharp turned on his heels and left, Sebastian and I both looking in awe at how tall the store room was.
"Two hours? How the fuck are we going to do all of this in two hours!?" Sebastian barked at me.
"I don't know, but we better not waste any time."
We started a system of Sebastian calling each label out, me writing the new one and passing it to him and he would replace the label and slip it back into it's spot.
"Lacewing flies..."
"Alihotsy..."
"Mandrake root..."
"Flobberworm mucus..."
"Some of these are awfully disgusting sounding..." I commented, dipping my quill in ink for what seemed like the 1000th time.
"You should see them, they don't look much better." Sebastian chuckled, and for a brief moment, the tension between us seemed to dissipate.
We continued the rhythm in silence, only speaking the name of the potion ingredients, but I couldn't help but steal glances at him whenever I had the chance. His messy hair fell slightly over his forehead as he concentrated, and the dim light from the candles lighting the room cast an enchanting glow on his features. It was unbelievable how utterly attractive he was. Now I was really mad he refused to be with me despite having feelings for me.
"S... Sebastian," I said softly.
"Mmm?" He said, placing the vial back and turning to me.
"Can you come here for a second?"
He nodded and hopped off the small ladder.
As he took a step towards me in the small room, I got up from my stool and he stopped moving. I don't know what overcame me, whether it was the stuffy room or all the tension we held from earlier, but I grabbed the collar of his robe and pulled him in to me, crashing my lips into his.
"Olive... what are you doing?" He mumbled, though he didn't pull away from the kiss.
"You told me you'd still give me the pleasures I wanted... and I want you. Now."
He let out a laugh that had me pulling away from him, feeling slightly offended.
"I didn't say no, I'm just shocked you want to do things here. We don't have long left before Sharp is back." He said, checking his pocket watch briefly.
"Well, then you better hurry, Sallow."
He chuckled once more and obliged, grabbing my waist and pushing me back a step until my back slammed hard into the shelving, sending a couple of vials smashing to the floor.
"Should we..."
"Leave them." He groaned, his kissing becoming more frantic.
His desperate hands trailed upwards, grabbing handfuls of my uniform as he went until he reached the top, loosening my tie and undoing a few buttons until he had access to my chest.
I'm certain he realised we were on a time limit, as he didn't attempt to remove my corset, and rather slipped his hands underneath and kneaded my breasts as his lips moved down my neck.
I tilted my head back, giving him more free access, knocking a few more vials down with my hair.
"Do you trust me?" He whispered softly in my ear, his warm breath mixing with my sweat from being in the stuffy room, sending shivers over my body.
"Mmhm." I said, nodding softly.
He let a small laugh go and began to kiss down my chest, then my stomach, then, he was kneeling in front of me.
He looked up at me as his hands dared to explore under my long skirt, shifting it upwards and finding the top of my stockings. He looped his fingers at the top and slowly pulled them down, letting them pool at my ankles.
"Your legs are fucking beautiful." He commented, his lips and tongue leaving their mark all over them as he traced higher and higher, nibbling softly at the soft, sensitive skin of my inner thighs.
"Ouch!" I yelped.
"Sorry." He mumbled, kissing the spot delicately
"Do it again." I moaned.
"Oh... fuck..." He said in surprise, obliging to my commands and nipping at my skin, the sensation causing hips to buck towards him.
He finally reached the spot I had been desperate for him to get to since we started and he explored the last remaining bit of material separating his mouth from my core.
"Fuck, so wet for me already." He noticed as his fingers traced teasing circles over the delicate material of my undergarments.
With one swift movement, he tore them free from my body, and I mean literally tore.
"Sebastian!" I couldn't help but exclaim. "Those were bloody expensive!"
"Relax. I'll buy you another pair... or maybe I won't, you don't need them." I couldn't see his face as he was buried under my skirt but I could just feel the smirk I know he was sporting right now.
I rolled my eyes hard. He couldn't help himself but make his little jokes, even when we were deep in the throes of passion.
"Stop me if you're uncomfortable, okay?" He said, peeking up at me from under my skirt he was now holding up by my waist.
I nodded and he smirked at me again, throwing the skirt back over his head as if he were diving into the Black Lake.
I immediately felt the warmth of his breath and he let his mouth finally find my slit.
"Oh..."
"Good?" He mumbled, though I could hardly hear him under the thick layers of my skirt.
"So fucking good..." I sighed.
His tongue worked it's way around my neglected clit as he slowly placed one finger delicately inside me.
"Shhhit..." I moaned, my hands reaching back to the shelves behind me to steady myself before I collapsed on him.
With each moan of his name I gave, he rewarded me with another finger, pounding me relentlessly with three of them.
His tongue and fingers worked in a perfect sync and coupled with the occasional moans he was letting out himself that tickled my very core, I found myself nearing my peak.
"Oh, you're so close, aren't you?" He moaned between my thighs.
"I am. I'm so fucking close." My mind was spinning and I could barely even register what he was saying to me anymore.
"Come on... you can do it... come for me."
His deep voice tickling me pushed me over the edge. My hands left the shelf and reached for his head under my skirt, pushing him further into me as his tongue continued to lap up every inch of me.
"Fuck, Sebastian! Yes!" I cried out, throwing my head back so hard it slammed into the shelf.
"Shhh!" He cried out, his free hand trying to reach for my mouth.
He was unsuccessful, but I took his advice and covered my own mouth with my hand, screaming profanities and his name over and over into my palm.
My legs slammed shut around his head and my muscles quivered until I couldn't stand anymore and fell sideways onto the shelf behind me.
Sebastian crawled out from under my skirt with a glistening mouth and a cocky, satisfied smile. His hair was a fucking mess, more so than usual and his face was bright red and sweating. If Sharp wasn't due back any moment, I would have simply turned myself around and let him continue.
"Well done. That was fucking hot." He commented, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
I simply laughed, even if I had something to say, I couldn't have. My coherent mind was no longer with us.
"Fix your shirt, Raywood. He'll be back any moment." Sebastian said, tugging on my blouse.
He took out his wand and quickly used Repairo to fix the vials we'd unintentionally dropped.
I had almost forgotten where we were and scrambled to rebutton my shirt and fix my tie, then try and make it look like we were still doing the vials.
Sebastian climbed up the ladder again and read out one more vial just as Sharp walked back in the door.
"Ah, you've made good progress I see. I didn't really expect you to finish them all, but I thank you for your efforts, you've surprised me."
"Thank you, Professor," We both said together.
"Oh. Mr. Sallow, are you feeling alright? You look like you have a fever. Shall I take you to Nurse Blainey?" Sharp noticed, concern now etched on his face as he noticed his red and sweaty complexion.
"Uh, no I'm alright, Professor. It's just warm in here."
"Very well then. You're both excused."
We left the room quickly, both of us bursting into laughter once we reached the hallway.
"I can't believe we got away with that. Even with your loud moaning," Sebastian said.
"Oh, shut up! Maybe if you weren't so vocal in the first place, then I wouldn't feel compelled to speak back."
"Come now, I always have to tell my lady when she's doing a good job. And you did great."
I felt my cheeks becoming flushed as he complimented me. Though I didn't have to do anything, really. It was all him.
"Let's get to the Great Hall quickly, I'm sure we still have time for dinner if we hurry." Sebastian said, quickening his pace.
Despite my wobbly legs, I managed to follow him and snag the last of the dinner feast before it was zipped away by the house elves.
"By the way, I'm going to see Anne on Saturday. You should come." Sebastian said between mouthfuls of bread.
"Sure."
But then I realised... I told Garreth I'd see him on Saturday too. Did I want to disappoint Garreth or Sebastian's dying sister? Fuck.