The day had come at last. With the completion and restoration of the vanishing cabinet the death eaters now had a way into the school undetected and would be making their appearance tonight.
Draco and Pansy would be in charge of greeting and escorting the group from the room of requirement up to the astronomy tower where I was to bring the headmaster at 7pm when the school would be occupied in the Great Hall with dinner. The headmaster knew what was to happen and had agreed to it for the greater good making my job easy as I did not have to trick him into following me up there.
However, that did not keep away the tension between the two of us as we waited in awkward silence for the time to come. The old man stood complacently at the tower's railing, staring off across the school grounds as the cool wind blew his long, white hair back.
"It's quite a beautiful night isn't it Runa?" The old man asked, voice dreamy and far away. I kept quiet as I contemplated what he was playing at.
"A wonderful night to be my last."
"You know I have no choice headmaster. This is the only way."
"Oh yes I know. I didn't mean anything by that last statement. I have been preparing for this for many months. I'm ready." The headmaster turned to face me with a small smile of resigned acceptance on his lips.
"Why did you let this happen? Why did you allow so many people to die?" I couldn't help myself. The man would be dead soon enough and I wanted to at least know the thought process behind his sinister actions.
"Like you, I didn't have much of a choice Runa. I never wanted my friends or students to die. You have to believe that. But I did what I had to do in order to keep the majority safe."
"Children died. Children who trusted you to keep them safe. Children who's parents trusted you to keep them safe."
"Do you really have any room to talk Runa? I believe you did the exact same thing in the end. You could have said no, gone against Tom, and lost your own life. Did you?" My blood was boiling as the man ridiculed me. I wasn't stupid, I could see that he was intentionally trying to make me hate him and make it easier on me to end his life. However, it worked a little too well and now I was pissed off and ready to cast the curse that would end all of this before the others even got here.
"Really? You're going to accuse me of saving my own ass? You are the only one who has the power to fight him. I don't stand a chance. You couldn't even capture his damn snake for God's sake. The Great Albus Dumbledore, defeated by his own orphaned student and a teenage girl. That'll certainly be a good headline in The Daily Prophet, not that you'll be around to see it." I sneered at the old coot as I stepped towards him, all of my pent up hatred and fear coming to the surface as I prepared myself to do what had to be done.
"You're right. I didn't get the snake. But you will be in his inner circle after this. I know he will choose you and I also know you are the one that can finish this for me Runa." I didn't get a chance to respond as footsteps could be heard on the stairs below, the group of death eaters making their way to the top of the tower to watch the show.
"Well, well, well, long time no see professor." Bellatrix Lestrange taunted in a sing-songy voice, the others appearing right behind her. Draco and Pansy stepped off to the back of the tower now that they had done their duties, no longer needed and expected to stay out of the way while I was the one to finish this.
"Hello Bellatrix, everyone." The headmaster nodded towards the manic witch and met the eye of each of the others surrounding us, including my father.
"You seem to be in a bit of a pickle." Bellatrix laughed and the hair on the back of my neck prickled, the sound oozing insanity.
"Are you here to kill me then?" The old man asked a bit sarcastically, egging her on.
"Oh of course not Albus. That job belongs to our dear little Runa here. The daughter of your trusted friend Severus."
"I see."
"The Dark Lord has been waiting on this moment for a long time you see. He's grown impatient else he would have waited and done it himself."
"If I may, why didn't your master choose to kill me himself? His fight is obviously with me at the moment so why use children to do this dirty work?"
"You dare question the Dark Lord's motives?" I could tell Bellatrix was growing irritated by the headmaster's procrastination of the inevitable.
"I just find it interesting that he would entrust such an important task to such a young child. Almost as if he is afraid of me or even believes himself to be.. weak." Dumbledore chuckled and I pursed my lips, knowing what was about to ensue.
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT OUR LORD VOLDEMORT. HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH FILTH ABOUT THE GREATEST WIZARD TO EVER WALK THIS EARTH. AVAD-" Two of the male death eaters had to physically restrain the dangerous witch before she completely ruined the mission, Bellatrix easily throwing them off but dropping her wand with an irritated huff.
"Get on with it then Runa. And do try to make it as slow and painful as possible." She laughed again, anger instantly forgotten as she was overtaken by glee at the prospect of the old man's death.
I slowly stepped forwards, heels tapping against the old wooden floor as I met the pleading eyes of the headmaster. To the untrained eye he appeared fearful of what was to come. However, I knew the old coot was silently begging me not to be afraid, that it was ok.
With a cold, deadpan expression on my face I raised my wand and pointed it right at my professor's chest. I took a moment to inhale deeply, releasing any last shred of fear or doubt residing within myself before I lost the last of my humanity. I allowed my emotions to fall dormant and a mask of indifference to fall over my entire body, accepting what had to be done in order to ensure my own survival.
I tilted my chin up, eyes narrowing as I stared down the end of my wand like the barrel of a loaded gun.
"Runa, please." Dumbledore pleaded in a hushed whisper.
My lip quivered for only a moment as I swallowed the lump building in my throat, my wand steady as I prepared to cast the killing curse.
"Avada Kedavra." A green light burst from the tip of my wand, hitting the headmaster square in the chest and knocking him over the tower's railing, the ricochet of the powerful curse coursing through my arm.
Bellatrix bounded with glee as she ran over to the railing to look for the body, a sickening 'thud' making me flinch as it hit the concrete below. The older woman pronounced the spell that would alert the others that the mission had been a success and also alerting the staff and student body of what had just occurred in the courtyard.
We did not stick around to see the aftermath of the situation, following my father through the corridors of the school to return to the room of requirement for a quick escape. The school could be heard outside screaming and crying over the loss of their beloved teacher and friend as well as the acknowledgment of the fact that death eaters had somehow made it onto the grounds undetected.
This time Draco, Pansy and I followed the others through to Borgin and Burkes, the ancient shopkeeper chuckling darkly as he knew we had been successful in killing professor Dumbledore. Others looked on in fear or intrigue as we prowled the shadows of Knockturn Alley just trying to get back to Malfoy Manor without getting caught.
The war had begun.
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Upon returning to Malfoy Manor the celebration began. Bellatrix danced around gleefully as Lucius brought out a couple of bottles of expensive red wine from the cellar, pouring everyone a glass.
Even Draco, Pansy, and I were allowed a small glass of the alcoholic beverage for our hard work and I gratefully downed the liquor hoping it would make me forget. I hadn't yet begun processing my actions of the night and quite frankly I didn't want to. So for now, I drank and laughed at Bellatrix harassing some of the other death eaters, the insane witch hardly needing the alcohol to rile her up.
I could see out of the corner of my eye that my father was watching me intently, searching for any sign of the impending breakdown. However, I would deal with the emotional turmoil at a later time and would continue to play my part well.
"To be honest I didn't think you had it in you kid. Well done little Snape!" Bellatrix clapped me on the back and slung an arm over my shoulders as she addressed the rest of the room.
"Let's all raise a toast! To our three new members who have finally proven themselves worthy to our cause." The adults all raised their glasses, toasting to Draco, Pansy, and I.
The Dark Lord finally made an appearance after hearing all of the commotion, the others joyfully recounting every detail of the events of the evening. I noticed the man stroking the head of his pet absentmindedly, surely thinking of what this win for the dark side truly meant.
We may not know who right now but someone would be coming for the snake since she was the last horcrux not already in Dumbledore's possession. My father had plans of returning to the school tonight to inform the new headmistress of anything she didn't already know as well as try and find out the next course of action from the light so for now, we wait.
I finally managed to sneak off once the adults were sufficiently inebriated and playfully dueling each other in the meeting room. I did not want to be a part of that when they broke a window and pissed Lucius off or somebody accidentally hit the snake faced man with a drunken spell and everyone got punished.
As soon as I was in the clear I all but ran up to my bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind me. I could still hear the festivities below, but I was finally behind a closed door and could release the shaky sigh I had been holding in since I had left my common room to go and retrieve professor Dumbledore for his execution.
My legs numbly carried me over to the bed and I sunk down into the mattress, my vision blurring as I stared at the wall unblinking. I couldn't feel my physical body nor could I feel any form of emotion, good or bad. I was completely and utterly numb, unable to even recall the memory of the headmaster's death right now.
I had no idea how long I sat there before a soft knock came at the door forcing me to reapply my mask of indifference with a sharp inhale. After collecting myself and ensuring I looked semi normal, I cracked open the door and was a bit surprised by who I found.
I expected to see my father checking in on me, a death eater wondering why I had left the party, or even my friends coming up here to bask in our pain together. However, my eyebrows shot upwards as I opened the door to find Narcissa, extreme concern in her warm brown eyes.
I realized I hadn't seen her downstairs and she hadn't been a part of the drunken festivities. I gladly opened the door wider, allowing the older witch inside my room before closing and locking it again. I had no fear about dropping my facade in front of my mother figure and fully intended to collapse into her arms the very moment she allowed me to.
"Hey love." Narcissa started, eyes flitting over me to make sure I wasn't physically injured as she gently reached out to me. "Are you alright?"
I felt my facade slipping fast, lip quivering as hot tears threatened to spill down my cheeks and I shook my head 'no'. Narcissa pulled me into her arms, holding me tightly and letting me sob into her chest as my fingers clung desperately to the older witch.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart. You should never have been a part of this." She whispered as my sobs grew stronger, choking on my own tears and sniffling violently.
"It's going to be alright. We'll get through this. All of us."
Narcissa let me cry it out, rubbing my back and keeping up a steady stream of reassurance as I exhausted myself. Once my tears had subsided I remained leaning on her, eyes heavy as my breathing slowed.
"Draco.. Pansy.." I mumbled, knowing they needed comfort just as much as I did in this weary time.
"Shh. They're alright. Draco's already kicked me out of his room for the night wishing to be alone and Pansy is with her mother. You all need some rest now." I couldn't do anything more than nod into the older woman's chest as I fought the exhaustion settling into my body, eyes struggling to remain open no matter how much I wished to avoid succumbing to sleep.
"Don't wanna sleep. Nightmares." I mumbled, voice thick with tears and sleepiness.
"But you need to Runa. Your father has asked me to care for you tonight while he takes care of business at the school. He is torn up about not being able to be here with you tonight, dear, but you need to rest. Now come on, I will sit with you until you fall asleep yeah? And I'll be right down the hall should you need me during the night." I nodded with a sigh, fearing my own mind more than the Dark Lord himself tonight but far too exhausted to complain any further.
I fell into the warm bed after Narcissa whisked a spell over me to give me something more comfortable to sleep in. True to her word the other witch sat herself on the edge of the bed and lightly carded her fingers through my hair and across the bare skin of my arm as I relaxed. The comforting, nostalgic sound of an old lullaby she had sung to me on so many stormy nights in this same house filled my ears as I succumbed to the much needed slumber.
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"Daddy!" I screamed, a fuzzy ringing filling my head as it connected with something hard. I instinctively pulled myself backwards until I hit a wall, body squished between the bedside table and the bed itself as I pulled my knees up to my chest.
I couldn't breathe, lungs unable to take in the amount of air I felt like I needed in that moment. My mind was still stuck in the nightmare, fear coursing through my veins as my vision clouded over.
I was in the midst of a full blown panic attack and had no recollection of where I was or what had really happened, too caught up in the horrors of my own mind. I never heard the footsteps outside my door or the door itself opening, someone rushing over and turning on the bedside lamp.
As soon as the room flooded with light my eyes shot open, meeting the worried ones of Narcissa crouched in front of me. The other woman was reaching out to me and whispering something that I couldn't make out, the pounding in my head covering any outside noises.
However, upon seeing her my instincts kicked in, forcing me to launch myself towards her. I desperately clung to my mother figure's neck as she fell backwards, hugging me back as I straddled her lap.
My fingers knotted themselves in her hair and shirt, petrified I would be pushed away from my newfound safety net. My breathing was labored as I tried to calm down, body shaking as Narcissa shifted to be leaning against the bed and getting comfortable as she knew we would be here for a bit.
I buried my face into the other woman's neck, the sweet, familiar scent of sugar cookies calming me as I was taken back to my childhood for a moment. I had spent many nights curled up in the older witch's lap just like this, fearful of some unnamed monster hiding under the bed or a strange creak out in the hallway.
However, this time my fears were valid. This time, a simple lullaby and a chocolate chip cookie would not be enough to make me forget.
Nevertheless, Narcissa tried her best to hush me just as she had when I was a child and I quickly found myself relaxing into my mother figure's arms. I began to grow sleepy again as I listened to her voice, panic attack easing and exhaustion taking over once more.
This time the older woman didn't bother rousing me, rather wandlessly placing a feather light charm over me and picking both of us up off of the floor. I continued to cling to her as I gave in to the urge to resort back to my childish ways, whimpering softly as she tried to detach herself from me.
"I'm not going anywhere my love. I promise." Narcissa reassured in a loving tone, slipping into the bed beside me and pulling me into her chest.
I gratefully cuddled up to her, fantasizing about a simpler time and trying desperately to pretend I was just a child again, burdened by fears of the dark and ghosts rather than the fact I had just killed a man.