Dazai wandered the streets of the city, walking with purpose, thinking about past events and what he will do in the future. He has not made a decision but what happened yesterday and today did shake his throne of bones a little. He stood before a fancy looking restaurant and stared at the big doors. His face had no expression or feeling, his eyes were empty, as he let out a deep sigh, his expression changed completely, there was a goofy smile on his lips, his eyes looked "happy". His clown disguise was on as he opened both of the doors with glee, skipping through the restaurant as the people inside it watched him with confusion.
"Excuse me sir, you need a reservation!" he heard the receptionist call after him and he just turned his head around a bit and flashed her a sweet smile.
"Oh, there's someone waiting for me already" he told her and kept walking towards his goal ignoring what the girl had to say.
He then got to a secluded part of the restaurant, deep in the back where the lights were dim and doors were closed, it was a private area that was heavily secured, the guard saw him and placed his hand in front of him to restrict his entrance to the closed off part of the building. Dazai just gave him a menacing look and the man moved, without a question, as he was let in, the detective in the sand colored trench coat kept his joyful walk until he reached one specific door, he opened without knocking.
Guns were raised and pointing at the former Port Mafia member, he just kept a grin on his face and walked in the room as if nothing were happening. The table had three men sitting on it, two corporate looking men and the other one, a sharp looking small man with ginger hair and a tacky hat.
"Everyone out, I need to have a word with the slug looking pipsqueak" Dazai said in a fake cheery tone. He could hear the safety being taken off guns. He looked directly at the three other men that were on the back of the room, Port Mafia guardogs. He walked up to them.
"You used to take orders from me, have you forgotten what happened to the ones that opposed me? Or do I need to remind you?" He said in a low and serious tone, making the three men flinch.
"Everyone, give us a moment please, it shouldn't take long." Chuuya spoke up and gave the order to his men to lower their weapons. "Take the gentlemen to have a drink at the bar while I settle this" he added motioning his men to take the business looking men out of the room.
Dazai stuck out his tongue to the guards and even the other people in the room, and walked to the table to take a seat in front of his former partner.
"Why the fuck are you being insufferable, this was a risky move, you know?" Chuuya asked, taking a sip of his wine glass.
"All my moves are calculated and since you were getting bold I thought I might as well do the same, and you know why I am here, so let's get down to business" Dazai answered, his joyful facade coming down and showing a serious side of him.
"I have nothing to say" Chuuya said looking straight at the person in front of him, he knew the look his browned haired crazy former partner had on his face, he was pissed.
"Oh really? Should I just send a little birdy to tell Mori you have been fraternizing with the enemy, and not only that, ignored a direct order to eliminate a target because of personal reasons?" Dazai said, pouring himself a glass of wine and taking a sip.
"Go ahead, if you are looking for reasons to keep her away from you that's the perfect one, she will actually hate you for doing that to me, so be my guest. We both end up losing." Chuuya said, resting his back on the back of the chair as if he was getting comfortable. This was a negotiation after all.
"You are putting her in unnecessary danger and you know it, so fuck off, she was fine when you were gone" Dazai said, venom in his voice, the grip on the glass getting tighter.
"Why did she come running to me then? I did not look for her, she came looking for me, so don't act as if forced her to do anything" Chuuya spat back fist getting tight with anger.
"She doesn't know better, but we both know, you are going to get her killed and that's going to be her blood on your hands" Dazai's voice getting a little louder.
"Are you saying you are incompetent enough to let her get killed, Agency members sure are useless" Chuuya said, raising his eyebrow and matching the tone of the man in front of him.
Dazai threw a plate on the wall, pieces of ceramic scattered on the floor, Chuuya didn't move an inch, eyebrows raised in surprise of how his ex partner was expressing his anger. Dazai didn't say anything and kept looking at the spot where the plate used to be.
"Don't blame me for your own consequences, I fucking cleared the path for you, fuck, I almost gave you my fucking blessing, and it was you who has backed off! Stop being a fucking coward then! I ain't afraid of a fair fight, but don't come here and yell at me for the decisions you make! Or lack of them..." Chuuya stood up and yelled at the man in front of him. Dazai lifted his head and looked at the red haired man, the way his former partner talked made him look taller than he was, and right now Dazai was feeling small, tiny even. He let out a sigh and slammed his head on the table.
Chuuya let out a sigh too and sat back on his chair.
"Whatever you did yesterday it worked, her eye is back to normal" Dazai muttered, forehead still pressed on the table.
"We just talked, I talked to...Lilith? Whatever her name is, she showed up after she fell asleep, it appears she can take control of her body if unconscious, so keep that in mind, it was only for a second tho" Chuuya told Dazai and then took a sip of his wine.
"What she say?" Dazai asked.
"Nothing important." Chuuya answered, avoiding the topic. Dazai raised his head and gave the other man a weird look, then took a big sip of his glass.
"Mori is going to punish you and humiliate you in front of the rest of the Mafia if he finds out, he is not going to kill you of course, but he will torture you for a while, and he will make Koyou-san do it. It's not looking good for you." The seriousness of Dazai's tone almost made Chuuya flinch.
"Aw, are you worried about me? Never took you for a good person." Chuuya said, sarcasm in his tone.
"As if, I am just thinking about how she would take those news, she would blame herself and I don't want to clean up the mess you make." Dazai said, still trying to numb his anger and desperation with alcohol.
"I'll handle myself, she will handle herself, and you should handle yourself, don't barge in my business meetings just because you are insecure about losing a girl that you are indirectly rejecting yourself, I don't like you and I don't think you deserve her, but I do think you are being too hard on yourself" Chuuya said taking a sip of his cup, and Dazai flipped him off.
"Fuck you, Dazai" the redhead said.
"Right back at you" The detective responded as he stood up, taking the wine bottle with him, and making his way to the door.
"Thank you" Dazai whispered as he got out of the room, and Chuuya smiled softly yet sadly without looking back at him.
•••
Dazai was walking around the city, thinking about what he wanted to do with himself, just drowning his questions with the taste of a dry cabernet, he has never been a fan of wine, but years of working with Chuuya he develop a taste for it once in a while, and alcohol is alcohol after all.
He was publicly drinking just taking swings off a bottle and all he got were confused stares then smiles and batting of eyelashes from the people around him, he could get away with a lot and he knew it. He knew he was good looking and he could mold his personality to please everyone and anyone. So he did as he pleased all the time.
He threw the empty bottle in a trash can and looked up to the sky. It was already night time, and he was still not sure of what to do. The unknown sensation of not having control and not having the answers was foreign to him, and also uncomfortable. The truth is, this situation was making him miss Odasaku, he kept thinking if he was still around he could just go to him, tell him everything and Odasaku would hit him in the back of the head and give him some advice. Dazai Osamu could start and end wars, but when it comes to human connections and situations, he knew nothing.
So he went to the place where he often played make-believe. Lupin sign shining bright, he entered and it was kind of empty, the bartender raised his hand to acknowledge his presence and got him his usual whisky on the rocks, upon seeing Dazai's gaze on the empty stool, the bartender served another drink and placed it in front of the ghost that lingered Dazai's life.
The young man drank silently, two drinks later he was still on the same stop, just looking at the presence that haunted him since he had a memory.
"Is this seat taken?" A voice called up to him, he turned around and sat up straight.
"Of course not, President. What are you doing here if I may ask?" Dazai responded formally. The President did not take Odasaku's place, but the one on Dazai's left, where Ango would often sit.
"Looking for you, actually" The President said and asked the bartender for a drink.
"Did something happen? Kunkida has not called me more than 50 times, so I didn't think something urgent was up" Dazai said softly and looked at his phone. A message from his pretty eyes on the notifications, "is everything alright?" it read, and he smiled sadly.
"Nothing happened, I just noticed your change in demeanor, and I wanted to make sure everything was alright." Fukuzawa said in a soft tone and took a sip of his drink.
"You have nothing to worry about! I am perfectly fine, peachy even!" Dazai answered in a joyful fake tone, the same fake goofy smile on his lips.
"I am not a psychologist like her but you have been on the Agency for a while, I sometimes can see when you are putting on a show for everyone and not saying what you really think or feel, this is one of those times" the gray haired man said looking at Dazai with compassion on his eyes. They have never been that close, the immature detective made it hard for anyone to get close.
Dazai just let out a loud sigh and threw his head back a little.
"What do you want me to say, Fukuzawa-san?" Dazai said with his eyes closed and a tired voice.
"Nothing you don't want to, I just want to let you know you can talk to us, to me...I know I cannot replace what you've lost but that doesn't mean you have to make it on your own" the older man said as he watched the trouble young man open his eyes and looked up to the ceiling.
Dazai let out yet another loud sigh, took his whisky and drank it all up and asked for another one, Fukuzawa just watched him with a raised eyebrow.
"The following involves another one of the Agency members, so you are free to stop me when you want. I wanted to talk about this with Odasaku, but as you can see, all I get is silence and a lingering sense of loss" Dazai said in a monotone voice as he turned to face Fukuzawa who as an answer drank his scotch and asked for another one.
"I... have to make a decision, and for someone who always has all the answers and is one step ahead of everyone, I am unable to move." Dazai said in a nervous tone, thinking all his words.
"But what is it that you want?" Fukuzawa asked.
"Her." Dazai answered quickly, as if he had not given thought to his answer.
"Well then, what's so confusing about the situation?" Fukuzawa asked with pure confusion in his voice.
"I can't give her what she deserves and wants" Dazai said and took two gulps of his drink.
"And what is that?" Fukuzawa asked.
"You know that I had it all planned out, she was going to stay here two years, I would have fun with it, we all would, and then she will go back, back to her family, to her home, sure the place where she lived is kind of violent but we would have trained her to survive, and then she could leave her job, be a therapist like she dreamed of, get married to an okay person, have two kids and be happy." Dazai said as if avoiding the question.
"And why cant she just have that with you?" Fukuzawa said and then took a sip of his drink. They were drinking pretty fast. Dazai turned to face his boss and scrunched his nose in disagreement.
"Have you met me? If I am not busy avoiding getting killed I am busy trying to kill myself, and working in between those two options. I can't have a domestic life" Dazai said as he emptied his glass.
"Why not?" Fukuzawa was nervous making so many questions, because he was in fact getting answers and that was something really hard to take out of Dazai.
"I don't deserve it, how am I supposed to raise life and have a home when I have taken so much of those two things out of other people" Dazai whispered, and Fukuzawa let out a sigh, he could see now that the detective beside him was just another young man, the same as the other ones inside the building.
"Do you know how many lives and how many homes have you saved being in the Agency? I'm sure you have the count, and if that's not enough then keep working, keep saving people. Have the life that you want, if you want the house with the white picket fence then build it, and pay it by saving so many that the number of the lives you have taken looks small." Fukuzawa said in a serious tone, looking his young detective in the eyes. Dazai was just surprised, he felt young, he felt his age.
The brown haired man let his face fall on the counter, his forehead hitting the cold surface.
"I don't know if I can do that..." The younger man whispered.
"You have to, is a direct order from your boss, go and get what you want, I don't care if you think you deserve it, because all of us do and that should be enough for now" the older one reached to pat the messy head of brown hair as he sipped his drink.
"Thank you" Dazai whispered, and the President gave him a soft smile he could not see.
"I have been thanking people today a lot, it's awful, makes me want to throw up, ew" Dazai said, getting back to his humoristic self.
"Or is it the five drinks you have finished in less than an hour?" Fukuzawa said laughing.
"Nope, I can drink five more and still be cool." Dazai answered, chuckling.
"Get out of here, and you can skip tomorrow if you don't skip it alone" Fukuzawa said without looking at Dazai. The young detective raised an eyebrow and smiled softly, but indeed stood up and walked through the door.
"You would be proud of who he is right now, and what he is going to become in the future" Fukuzawa said while reaching to clink his drink with the lone one on the far right.