for the love of god play nice
Nikolai: BERNADETTE YOU ARE MY LIBERTY
Fyodor: I CELEBRATE THE DAY YOU CHANGED MY HISTORY
Tachihara: you know who has touch of the tism? ranpo
Ranpo: WHAT
Tanizaki: that is a fair point
Ranpo: I DON'T HAVE AUTISM
Fukuzawa: He does. I got him tested at the age of 15 and he has, without a doubt, got autism.
Ranpo: DAD
Ranpo deleted a message
Ranpo: i mean uh
Ranpo: SIR
Kenji: We can delete messages??? :o Let me try!
Kenji: I want Kunikida to be my dad
Kenji deleted a message
Kunikida: WHAT
Dazai: why not me kenji :((
Chuuya: take akutagawa as a prime example of why you shouldn't be a dad
Akutagawa: Hey!
Sigma: I missed it, what did they say?
Tachihara: ranpo called fukuzawa dad and kenji wants kunikida to be his father
Sigma: WHAT
Yosano: Ranpo has daddy issues
Ranpo: SO DOES KENJI
Kenji: I regret nothing!
Elise: That means you would have THREE dads. Me having two is bad enough
Tachihara: nah i can't be a dad. i'm too young for this. I'M ONLY 19
Sigma: I'M TECHNICALLY THREE
Dazai: careful. mori will come after you
Nikolai: PAHAHA THATS SO FUNNY BECAUSE MORI IS A PEDOPHILE
Mori: Excuse me?
Elise: True dat
Mori: Elise :((
Kunikida: Whilst I cannot be your father Kenji, I will take the role of father figure if you so wish.
Kenji: :D
Higuchi: Now let's talk about Ranpo's daddy issues
Ranpo: let's not
Fukuzawa: Do you see me as a father figure Ranpo?
Ranpo: if anything i see you as a BOTHER figure
Fyodor: that's no way to speak to your father ranpo
Ranpo: you be quiet. ratatouille looking ass. you do nothing but lie and manipulate
Fyodor: true dat
Ranpo: LOOK MY FATHER WAS NEVER PRESENT AND FUKUZAWA IS A GREAT FATHER FIGURE OKAY?? LETS FORGET IT
Fukuzawa: I'm honoured Ranpo
Gin: But Poe is your daddy ;)
Poe: please don't drag me into this
Ranpo: and YES I HAVE AUTISM but that's on you guys for not noticing sooner
Atsushi: it's not like it's a shock, but we won't treat you any differently! you're not any less incompetent than before we knew about your diagnosis!
Ranpo: that truly brings a tear to my eye... kidding. but thanks i appreciate it
Poe: would you like me to bring your favourite sensory toys into the office today now that you can have them on show?
Ranpo: bring the lavender pouch and squishmallow
Atsushi: A SQUISHMALLOW??? I NEED ONE
Ranpo: take one of mine, squish it when you're stressed
Poe: i'll buy you one atsushi!
Atsushi: oh no you don't have to do that! i don't want you to waste your money on me poe!
Poe: i insist, anything for dear ranpo's friends
Akutagawa: I'll buy him one. No need.
Kouyou: Oooh someone's getting jealous
Akutagawa: Shut up. I'm not jealous.
Tachihara: dude you're using punctuation... like a LOT
Akutagawa: I'm just using correct grammar.
Dazai: lmao okay grammarly
Chuuya: I HATE THAT FUCKING AD IT FEELS ME WITH SO MUCH RAGE I WANT TO SMASH MY COMPUTER INTO TEENY TINY BITS AND FEED IT TO THE PIGEONS
Kenji: poor pigeons :(
Atsushi: nah who hurt you
Chuuya: GRAMMARLY
Nikolai: millions trust grammarly's free writing app to make their online writing clear and effective. getting started is simple — download grammarly's extension ...
Chuuya: GRRRAHHH DIE GRAMMARLY
Dazai: jesus christ
Tanizaki: even your own husband is terrified
Jouno: we literally go on ONE HUNTING DOG MISSION AND THIS HAPPENS???
Tecchou: since when was ranpo autistic with daddy issues?
Teruko: why does chuuya have beef with grammarly?
Chuuya: SINCE IT FUCKING INTERRUPTED MY ASMR
Chuuya: I WAS COMFY AND FALLING ASLEEP WITH MY HEADPHONES ON MAX VOLUME AND SUDDENLY I HEAR THIS IRRITATING GRATING VOICE
Fyodor: it's abby lee miller
Sigma: I'm sorry what?
Fyodor: sigh. the girls deserved better
Fukuchi: I love Dance Moms! I watch it every night!
Nikolai: what a freak.