OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
JANUARY
Once again, I watched the dark sky turn into gray while being on patrol until early in the morning.
It was the longest and coldest winter that ever existed in Forks, making the atmosphere gloomy. Even when the sun deigned showing itself, it was pale and powerless on my fur.
My paws touched the remainings of snow on the ground. Had I not looked at where I was walking on, and I wouldn't have noticed that I was stepping on snow. The cold had no effect on us anymore.
"Nothing to signal. Time to go home." I commanded.
I ran back home, where we were supposed to meet, with the sounds of our paws hitting the soil with force to propell our bodies forward.
It didn't take long for me to see my house. I could already smell the scent of freshly baked blueberry muffins and everything that was made to accompany them.
I calmed my heartbeat and let myself change back to human. With time, turning back to human became a second nature to me. I didn't feel its difficulty anymore.
Once I was back in my human form, I untied the clothes I had wrapped around my ankle before starting my patrol, to put them back on.
I wasn't the only one doing this. I could hear the sounds of fabric slide against a skin that wasn't mine.
Since I was wearing both top and bottom, I didn't understand how he could not be ready before me, especially since all he had to put on was his bermuda shorts. While tapping my bare foot on the ground and crossing my arms on my chest, I waited impatiently for him to show himself once he'd be dressed.
"Hurry up, I'm starving !" I sighed.
"So am I !"
He ran past me in human form, without even throwing a glance at me. Why did I even wait for him ? I should've run straight home.
I rolled my eyes and ran after him.
What a relief for us to live near the woods. It was much easier for us to go unnoticed, especially at night. We had to be careful though. It would be very suspicious if we were caught barely clothed in the middle of winter.
When we arrived at the porch, two buckets filled with water were waiting for us. We used them to wash our feet and didn't wait long for the water to dry at the contact of our hot skin. We then, wore the flip flops that had been put beside the buckets and threw the dirty water.
It was only after, that I opened the front door and was welcomed by the sweet and savory scents of the breakfast that had been prepared for us.
We walked in, and saw my father and Nana working actively in the kitchen. Although the table was already filled with food, they didn't look like they were done.
"Hurry wash your hands and come eat." Nana told us without even looking at us.
This has become a routine for all of us. For all the people involved. From my parents, to grandma and to the rest of the pack.
The pack has welcomed Paul and Jared two months ago. Jared had been the first one to turn in late November, and was followed by Paul only a week later. We were four now, making it easier for us to change shifts.
On one side, it was a lot of work for Sam and I to revisit all of our organization, even in the way we communicate. Now, there were twice more images running through our mind, two more voices talking to us and twice more emotions to feel. But on the other side, it made us realize what kind of leaders we were.
Sam, being the Alpha, was an all-rounder. He worked hard for it. His Alpha voice was indisputable, his strength surpassed any of us, his height and aura was bigger than us...Everything about him was greater.
While I, on the other hand, became the beta of the pack which meant I was the second in command. I was allowed to give orders that were not to be disobeyed. Only the Alpha could refute them and give new orders.
Being in the pack healed me. After having the worst ups and downs for almost two months, the moment we welcomed Paul and Jared, I worked twice harder to control my emotions. To heal from my heartbreak. I didn't want to be a burden for the pack nor did I want to expose my love life to them. Although I still had a long way to go, this experience made me stronger, allowing me to handle any emotion that could be thrown at me.
If I believed that, it would be true right ?
After washing our hands, we walked to the kitchen.
"Paul, when was the last time you came by ? Were you sleeping all this time ?" My dad asked him while doing what became his usual handshake with the boys.
"Trust me, I wish." Paul answered, before moving to my grandmother and kissing her forehead. "My shifts have been during the day lately but I changed so I could be with my little Aiyanna."
My dad rolled his eyes at that while Nana laughed. She liked this way too much.
Paul was the first one to sit around the table, before I joined him after kissing the cheeks of my dad and grandma.
"Thank you for this feast !" I exclaimed, ignoring Paul's comment.
"Try to graduate high school and then I'll consider accepting your relationship." my dad told him, knowing perfectly that if there was one person who was unserious about school, it was Paul. "When was the last time you went to class ?"
I ate in silence while Paul was arguing with my father about how school was useless now that he was a werewolf. It was as if he had been waiting to turn his whole life so he could find a good enough excuse to ditch school.
The boys spent so much time at our house that they got closer to my family. Nana saw them as her grandchildren and made little to no difference between them and I.
"Quit it, Paul. I'm not going to date someone uneducated." I told him before I took a sip of orange juice.
I saw him roll his eyes from his seat in front of me. "Can't you make a sacrifice for once ? For me ?" he asked.
I just shook my head as a response.
"It looks like you are the one who needs to make a sacrifice." Dad commented.
Paul showed his disgust for school on his face expression before he put a whole muffin in his mouth.
Nana laughed again. My bickering sessions with Paul served as an entertainment for her. I suspected her to even be on his side, sometimes.
"You guys remind me so much of Lenno and I back in the days." she said putting bacon in Paul's plate. "I never thought I'd end up with him. But then we suddenly got so consumed by love that we understood each other without saying a word. We never fought after he turned."
"See ?" Paul added, as if trying to prove a point.
"She was imprinted on !" I reminded him. "Both you and I turned and neither of us has imprinted on the other, which confirms my theory. I. Am. Not. For. You !"
"But I want you."
"Oh, don't be so straightforward. You will make her run away." Nana scolded him.
"Then what should I do ?"
"Are you asking advice from my nana ?" I asked, surprised by his nerve.
"Our nana. All she wants is for us to be happy, right ?" he asked, and Nana answered with a nod. "I'd really be happy if you just accepted your fate."
"Fate is already decided, stupid !" I sighed.
"You only believe in fate when it's in your advantage." Paul said which I answered to with a wink.
Nana smiled warmheartedly. "If things are not meant to be together, no matter the efforts you make to put the pieces together, it will eventually break."
To Nana, it was clear that imprinting was the only way for us to feel whole in the presence of another person.
For the more doubtful ones like Paul, Jared and I there was another way. I was against the fact that I didn't get to decide who I wanted to be with. Was it wrong to okay with being whole only 50% ? How many people on Earth weren't whole a 100% and were living just fine ? I wasn't going to die because of the remaining 50%, right ?
However, I did found myself doubting more than once when it'd be around Sam.
He had imprinted on Emily, Leah's cousin, last December. It left Leah devastated, especially since Sam broke up with her to be with her own cousin. All the feelings he once had for her had vanished the moment he laid eyes on Emily when she came to visit the Clearwater's family on Christmas.
It was heartbreaking to see Leah's face in Sam's memories when he announced her his wish to end their relationship. I wished I could confort her, but she didn't like me anymore which was understandable. I would've reacted the same way if I saw my boyfriend hang out with another girl all the time.
We couldn't tell her the real reason why we were texting or calling all the time after each of our patrols or why he would always come by my house to honor Nana's invitation to eat the food she'd make, especially after letting our wolf form consume all of our energy for hours. This whole lifestyle was a new thing for the both of us. During those two months where it was only the two of us, Sam and I could only count on each other, making us closer than what Leah would have wanted.
I felt bad for not being able to clear the misunderstanding on the nature of my relationship with Sam, to Leah. None of us thought of the other romantically. Our thoughts and emotions were shared, and not even once had I caught this type of ambiguity.
When I saw Emily through Sam's eyes I understood why it was viewed as one of the most beautiful thing to exist for someone. But I also quickly understood how devastating it could be.
Although I hadn't been there, I saw it through Sam's memories. I could see him pleading with Emily. I heard the answer that sent Sam into an irrational fury. A fury that was the hallmark and the curse of the wolves existence. I felt him explode out, as if it had been me, his hand still extended toward her. And then, his fingers turning into claws that cut the side of her face. I remembered the heartbreak, terror and the panic he felt when she fell to the ground, unconscious. These feelings were so strong that he couldn't change back to help her.
It was only when I heard his painful howl in the woods that I understood that something had gone wrong. At that time, I was going home from my weekend job, but instead of going straight back home, I ran directly in the direction of the forest, leaving my car behind.
His memories had hit me so violently that instead of going to him to try to calm him down, I went straight to where Emily was laying unconscious. Saving her was the only way for him to be okay again. Words would be useless.
I remembered running to Emily after changing back to human, and was followed shortly by Paul and Jared who rushed to help.
Our best option had been to bring her to Sue Clearwater, Harry Clearwater's wife, who was an RN. She took care of Emily while we heard Sam writhing in agony in the forest, hiding, still unable to calm himself enough to change back.
He stayed in wolf form until Emily woke up. It was hard to help him change back to human. But I stayed.
I chased his negative thoughts to replace them with hopeful ones. I chased his terror to change it into thankfullness that Emily had been saved. And chased his shame that was preventing him from going back home, with the images of Emily asking for him as soon as she woke up, despite the pain.
I was woken up from my memories after hearing a hand being hit. Once I regained my senses, I realized that it was actually Nana who hit Paul's hand that had been reaching for the second batch of muffins that might have just come out from the oven.
"Do not touch ! This is for Emily and the others. The poor girl has to deal with four people's huge stomachs." she scolded Paul. "You will bring them to her. I counted them. If I ask her how many there were and she doesn't say the right number, you will have to deal with me, boy."
Paul pouted while his eyes went from Nana to the untouchable muffins.
"I only have one Alpha to answer to." he reminded her.
Dad laughed. "In this kitchen, she is the one you have to answer to." he told Paul.
I did feel bad for Emily and grandma. They were the ones who were feeding us the most. My parents, having jobs that required night shifts helped when they had the time.
That was why, the four of us decided to work. While Jared and I only worked on the weekends, Paul who almost ditched school and Sam who already graduated worked during the weekdays. Most of our income went into grocery shopping. It was the least we could do to discharge them from the burden that we were to them.
Suddenly, we heard a howl far in the forest. It wasn't a howl I was familiar with. Both Paul and I looked at each other, alerted.
"Looks like there's a newborn in the family." Paul said, gulping down his bowl of orange juice hurriedly.
"Don't be too harsh on him" Nana scolded Paul as she knew that he was the most excited to finally have someone under him.
The ranks were decided in the order of changing. That was why in formation, Sam was always in front of us while I would be on Sam's right side as the beta. Jared, being the third who shapeshifted was dotted with superior eyesight which was very helpful, especially since we shared the same mind. His position was supporting Sam's left side while Paul, had our backs from behind.
"I won't let him." I reassured her. "See you !"
Paul and I went straight to the backyard and ran in the direction of the forest. It took only less than a minute for us to wrap our clothes around our ankle before triggering our inner wolf to fully turn.