Brain?
Empty
New posts?
None
Incorrect quotes?
Yes
Hotel?
Trivago.
__________________
Doc: This date is boring!
Bdubs: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Doc: Then why did you invite me?
Bdubs: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Bdubs I'll do whatever I want!
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Doc: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Bdubs: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Doc: I said within reason, Bdubs. How about I murder that guy? *points to Grian*
Bdubs: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Doc: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
____
Cub: Okay, I'm going to get the wedding cake.
Scar: Perfect, while you do that I'll check on the ring bear.
Cub: ...
Cub: You mean ring bearER, right?
Scar: ...
Cub: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
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Cub: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Scar: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Cub: Stop.
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Grian: We have a problem.
Mumbo: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
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Grian: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.
Mumbo: That's great, Grian. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.
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Stress: Two brooooos!
Iskall: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Stress: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!
Iskall:
Stress:
Iskall: *tearing up*
Stress: Babe, c'mon...
Iskall: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.
Stress: Babe... we're literally straight...
Iskall : *sobbing* I know!
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*Iskall and Stress are in Paris.*
Iskall: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?
Stress: But...
Iskall: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...
Stress: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?
Iskall: Yeah.
Stress: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.
Iskall: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.
Stress: Okay, alright.
____
Ex: Are you ready to commit?
Hels: Like, a crime or a relationship?
________
Hels: Are you trying to seduce me?
Ex: Why, are you seducible?
________
Beef: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Etho: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Beef: I don't know, surprise me!
_______
Beef: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Etho: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Beef: Yes.
Etho: I'd sleep.
_____
Lizzie: I have feelings for you.
Joel: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?
______
Joel: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Lizzie: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Joel, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.
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Scott: I'm proud to identify as morosexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Jimmy: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Scott, already taking off their clothes: God, Jimmy, you're so fucking stupid.
______
Jimmy: Is something burning?
Scott, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Jimmy: Scott, the toaster is literally on fire.
_________
Joel: I'm hot, I'm tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.
_______
Cub: What did you get Scar for their birthday?
Xisuma: I got them a kitten.
Iskall: Really? Me too!
Grian: I also got them a cat.
Mumbo: Looks like we had the same idea.
Stress: Cleo, please tell me you didn't get Scar a cat as well!
Cleo: ...I got them a kitten.
*later*
Scar, in their apartment surrounded by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever!