LEILA
The past months has been great. I really think Greyson is the one for me. I really hope so.
My birthday's also coming up and I couldn't be more happy. Well, until now. Greyson and Mila are spending the day together. Like a sibling thing, I think they deserve a day together.
Luca, Brooks, Silas and Jacob are out with the motorcycles. Lili and Haven are in France, visiting Lili's father.
Hudson is in his room, just doing something. He's always in his room. I think it has a lot to do with work.
So I've been alone in my room the entire day, feeling a little sick. My anxiety has been building up and I don't know why. I mean, I'm not stressed about anything in the moment.
I just feel this heavy weight on my chest, making it difficult to breathe properly.
I stand up from my bed, immediately feeling dizzy from the sudden movement. I place my hand on my forehead, feeling my temperature.
I think I'm warm. Or cold. I don't really know.
What's happening? Why am I not seeing anything? There's black spots everywhere. I can't even think straight right now.
What do I need?
Help me, what do I need?
I stumble over to my bed again, thinking I'm going to take a seat on it but I miss it horribly and land on the floor, hitting my back against the bed frame instead.
I'm too focused on my breathing to even feel my pain.
Greyson. I need Greyson.
I lift my arm, up on my nightstand. I tap a few places before my hand lands on my phone, immediately picking it up. Thank god, I have face ID.
By miracle, I can dial Greyson's number. There's a few signals before I hear his voice.
"Hi, love. We're eating right now, can I-" He stops mid-sentence, hearing my heavy breathing, "What's wrong?"
"I- I.. I can't breathe." I choke out, the lump in my throat growing bigger and bigger, second by second.
Fuck, I'm gonna breakdown.
"Hold on, baby. We're leaving right now." He says, hearing him stand up from his bed. I hear Mila's voice, too. I don't know what she's saying but she's sounding worried.
I don't know though.
I start choking on my own breaths, my breathing becoming more uneven. Am I gonna die?
I hope not.
Greyson's said I have a lot to achieve and experience and I would like that to be true.
Man, please. Don't die, Leila.
Okay, not the time for jokes.
I feel my body weaken every minute that goes by, my arms slowly falling to the ground.
"Leila? Can you hear me, my love?" Greyson's voice pierce through my head, I can hear my own heartbeats. Greyson's voice is so far away, yet so close.
"Stay with me, baby. Stay with me." Greyson says before my vision starts to blacken.
I'm terrified.
I'm panicking.
What's happening?
The darkness take over my body and my head falls back, hitting my head.
Poof, blacked out.
- - -
GREYSON
I sped all the way home. Mila kept asking if Leila was okay but I didn't know what to say, because I don't know if she's okay.
She stopped talking on the phone, completely went silent. I shouted her name but she didn't answer. Everyone was looking at me, but I had to know if she was still conscious.
Mila kept looking at me, tears in her eyes. All I could do was reassure that Leila was okay, even if I don't know.
I'm bursting through all of the doors, hearing Mila sprint after me.
I finally arrive at Leila's door and I basically kick the door down.
She's half sitting down, her head against the pointed edge of the bed frame. I look behind me, finding Mila standing there with tears in her eyes and hands over her mouth.
"Mila, go to your room." I say, holding the eye contact. She takes her hands off her mouth and exhales a shaky breath.
"No! Absolutely not-"
"Mimi, please." I plead to her, making her shut her mouth and hurry to her room, shoving past me.
I know Mila is Leila's best friend, but you don't ever wanna see your best friend in this condition.
Leila gets these panic attacks very rarely, but this is just as scary as the last time. I've just been with her two times with these panic attacks and I still don't know what to do when it actually happens.
I hurry towards her, crouching down to her height. I lift her head up, seeing the small, red line of blood on the white frame.
She must've hit her head on the way down.
I place my hands under her limp body, lifting her up so she's in my embrace. I set her down on her bed, pulling the blanket on top of her.
I walk into her bathroom, getting the first aid kit to help clean her wound.
Once I find it, I walk back to her bed, getting out a cotton pad and disinfectant. I soak the cotton pad with the liquid and move her hair out of the wound.
I pat it a few times, getting most of the dried blood off her scalp. How the fuck was she sitting? How did her head start bleeding?
Last time this happened, she was already laying in her bed because her leg was hurt, but I don't know her position in this.
I'm scared.
She hurt her head, it must've been worse this time. Does Luca know? I knew he's out with the boys and I want him to have a good time, but his sister is his number one priority for everything.
But I don't wanna ruin his better moments, so I decide I'll tell him later.
"Come on, baby, you have to be conscious on your birthday." I speak, kissing her forehead. She can't miss her twentieth birthday, she needs to wake up.
"Will you come back soon?" I kiss her cheek this time, standing up from my crouch.
I lift her up, placing myself behind her so her head's on my chest, her eyes closed. She looks so peaceful, yet so tired.
I'm hoping someday these panic attacks will stop. I know that's easy to say than done but I don't think anyone wanna have these. She passed out. She looks dead.
It looks even worse when she hit her head on her fucking bed.
Leila and I just started this. It can't end this fast, it just can't. She's the first one to make me feel good about myself.
All I've seen when I look at myself earlier, I've just seen failure. The reflection before me was just worthless, weak and unloving. I've always felt bad about myself but when Leila came here, she changed that to the better.
I am worthy.
I am loved.
I am strong.
Leila has reminded me every day. How much I mean to her and how worthy I am to her.
I love her to death. I truly do. That's why it can't end. We're just starting, not ending. It was supposed to be me and her.
I'm really hoping someday I'll get married to her. I wanna put a ring on her finger and make her the happiest on earth. Her feelings mean more to me than my own.
She's my number one.
"I can't do this without you, my love." I whisper, I really don't wanna cry but I can feel my eyes start to well my with stupid tears.
Deep down, I sort of know Leila will wake up. I just don't know when. An hour? A day? A week? I don't fucking know.
"Wake up for me, my love." I say, probably sounding so fucking selfish but what can I do, just not life with my girl? That's not an option.
"Just wake up, please. I can't live without you. I'm nothing without you." I place my forehead on hers, just praying she'll use her voice in a few minutes.
"Please, just please." I'm begging now, sounding so desperate. But I am desperate. I'm desperate for her voice. I'm desperate for her laughter. I'm desperate for her comfort.
But most of all, I'm desperate for her.
- - -
A/N:
this will probably be one of the last chapters of this book and i couldn't be more sad tbh, i feel like this book was my whole comfort and my escape from the world but i'm excited to finish my other books and i hope it will be a fun journey. anyways, i hope y'all are having a wonderful day! ♡
please check out my tiktok - @lisasbookss
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edited.
i love you lots, bye. <3