Nothing lasts forever.
Everything eventually finds its end. Like a story that slowly draws closer to its epilogue.
Life was a tapestry of meeting and losing people. Experiencing joy, pain, love, heartache and every other emotion on the spectrum.
Most would deny it. Because believing such a concept was too painful.
But once faced with the reality of losing someone you thought you'd spent your whole life with, and shouldering the pain of moving forward, one couldn't simply discard the truth, however bitter it was.
There was a solace to that pain. A small reprieve.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow held hope and new possibilities of fresh starts and new bonds. Even if your past was painful, even if your present was suffocating, as long there was a tomorrow to come, you would always find yourself the chance to start anew.
It wouldn't take away the pain, wouldn't replace the loss but time was a wonderful thing. As long as you haven't abandoned yourself, and hadn't given up on finding happiness, you'd always find another reason to smile as you move forward.
It was something you believed in.
You prayed those hopeful rays of tomorrow would shine upon the people, the family you were about to leave behind.
You took a deep breath. Moving hurt as you shifted your position. Your body faintly throbbed, some parts more sore than others. You didn't mind. You hoped this faint throbbing would accompany you till your last breath as a reminder of all the beautiful memories you build with the one you loved the most.
You stared at the person sleeping peacefully beside you with one hand clasped tightly over your waist, the other curled under your head, breathing softly as exhaustion shone on his face, burning the sight in your memories so you'd never forget.
Your touch was soft, barely carrying any weight as you traced his sharp features. He didn't twitch, unlike most times when he'd grab your hand and pull you closer. You were both disappointed and glad.
Disappointed because for one last time you wanted to gaze into his eyes, take in all the small details, all the hues that coloured his eyes and reminiscence the times the same eyes smiled at you with varying emotions reserved only for you.
Glad because it would be easy to leave, even if it was a coward's thing to do, you'd escape the last moment of suffering where you would've to watch him fall apart.
You sat up sluggishly, blankly staring ahead as the reluctance to move away from the familiar warmth sat heavily in your stomach. Letting out a shaky breath, you carefully removed the deadlock on your waist.
Claude's brows pulled together, hands flexing at the sudden absence of warmth in alarm.
You almost laughed all the while feeling the urge to cry hysterically.
Brushing back the stray strands from his forehead, you pressed a soft kiss. You felt him relax into your touch, the frown pulling at his brows easing away, his shallow breathing deepening again. You lingered there, breathing softly against him, eyes shut tightly to press down the burning.
Slowly moving away, you placed a pillow in your place, the one which was still warm from use and it worked in lulling Claude into false security and you moved away completely.
You took a short shower. Outside the sky was dark, and eerily silent. A whole day was spent locked in the bedroom and no one disturbed you, it was a miracle knowing how restless they would've been about you. You didn't know how Claude managed to hold off everyone for an entire day while both of you were fooling on the bed. You suspected it was consideration on their part rather than Claude's persuasion.
Everything was too peaceful. Or maybe you were numb so you couldn't feel much of the thing you were doing. Even searching through the wardrobe for clothes felt heavy and tiring.
You jolted as a sudden sharp pain pulsed through your body.
Already knowing the source, you stared blankly at your arms and the blackness marring them before peeking at other parts of your body. Black veins pulsed across your naked body before fading away. It appeared again and followed the same pattern. Over and over.
It had gotten worse, you summarized, focusing on your magic to mask them. You slowly buttoned up your shirt, wincing at the sharp pangs. Tugging at your sleeves restlessly, you muttered, "I should go see them too. This might be the last chance I'd get to see their faces."
You looked back towards the bed to see Claude curled up, a small frown etched on his face as he clung to the pillow. You sat beside him at the corner of the bed and adjusted the blankets over him, pausing to stare at him in a daze. You sighed, you were stalling and making it hard for yourself.
Berating yourself mentally, you finally walked away and closed the door behind you, leaning against it, taking deep, slow breaths, you moved away and stepped into the empty hallway.
You wanted to take your time and savour everything but your mind was blank most of the way. You didn't even realize how you got into Athanasia's room.
You were a little surprised when you found Jenette in the same bed as Athanasia, both sisters clinging to each other as they slept.
You smiled. Relieved to know Athanasia wasn't going to be alone and Jenette would finally get the family she longed for. They'd be together like a proper family.
You sat at the corner of the bed and kissed Athanasia. forehand, caressing her cheeks affectionately.
"Thank you for letting me be a mother to you, Athy Thank you for you letting me take care of you. Even if I was selfish for wanting to take Diana's place, you still called me your mother. You don't know how happy you made me."
You whispered, unable to hide the woeful crying in your halting voice.
"I failed you in first life. So I hope this time, you can be happy and live the life you deserve." You pressed a soft kiss on her lashes, smiling when she squirmed slightly in her sleep, a small smile alit on her serene face.
You looked at Jenette and shut your eyes for a moment as you reached out to touch her face. Smiling solemnly, you pressed an affectionate kiss on her forehead too.
You pulled away and lamented as you looked at her youthful features.
"We got little time with each other this time around. You might not remember me, but I've taken care of you as my child in the past, raised you just as much care as I did with Athanasia."
A brief pause and you painfully swallowed the lump in your throat.
"But I gave you more pain than joy so I shouldn't call myself a caretaker. You deserve much more than a selfish person like me calling you my child after all the pain I caused."
You bowed your head slightly and shakily whispered.
"Forgive me, Jenette. I don't have time to make up for the pain, all the sadness I inflicted on you. The only thing I do is trust you to the people - your family who would take care of you and love you as I should have."
Sighing slightly, you looked at your beautiful girls who were still little buds yet to bloom fully and smiled as you envisioned a happy future for them where they would live together as sisters as they should have in the past.
"You both have one life, so live bravely, and be selfish if you have to. Be greedy if you need to but never compromise with your lives, with your happiness."
You slowly pulled away from them. "And I hope someday you can forgive this coward mother of yours."
"Mom..?"
You flinched, looking down at the hand gripping your wrist. You lifted your head to see Athanasia looking at you dazed. She wasn't awake completely. Her eyes blinked sluggishly.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
Her sleepy expression lit up at the familiar endearment. "Mom, it's... you?"
Her sleepy voice was barely comprehensive. It made you smile when she rubbed her eyes and tried to blink away the heavy sleep.
"Yes, sweetheart, it's me."
"Mom?"
"Yes."
She blinked rapidly, her eyes trying to focus on you."...I love you."
Deep breaths. "I love you too, sweetheart."
Athanasia smiled, her grip went lax as her breathing deepened. She mumbled your name softly with a happy face.
You stayed there, holding her hand until you were sure she had fallen asleep, before taking your leave, heart heavy as stone.
You pressed on. You didn't have much time. You had to make sure you said goodbye to everyone.
Unsurprisingly you found Felix propped against the sofa, head lulled to the side, eyes closed in light sleep.
What paused you in the tracks was Anastasius sitting opposite Felix.
His eyes flickered to you and there was scrutinizing look in his eyes as if he was trying to gauge your intention.
"Sneaking around at these hours is quite suspicious don't you think?"
Your lips twisted coldly. "I don't think you're in any position to call me suspicious."
"True. But you look like you're leaving for somewhere. Does Little brother know about it?"
"..."
Anastacius nodded lightly like your silence answered his question. "He won't like it. You might think you can leave but we both know him quite well, don't we?"
You remained silent.
Anastacius smirked at your dark gaze. "Ah, looks like I hit a nerve."
"...You son of a bitch."
"No need for such words. I meant no offence. It's the truth. Don't underestimate, little brother." Anastacius warned and his gaze flickered behind you and at the room where the girls were sleeping. A strange emotion flashed across his face. "I'm in no position to say anything to you but you're making a mistake. I don't know why the sudden need to leave when things are going your way."
Your lips thinned and your eyes turned cold. Your head was filled with complicated feelings as you looked at him.
"Jenette.. she thinks highly of you. That child has already lost so much, don't add more scars to her heart." Anastacius averted his eyes and looked at his hands, the next words came as a whisper. "Same goes for Claude."
"What a surprise." You smiled coldly in mock shock. "You almost sound like you care for him."
Anastacius merely looked at you in silence.
Something about his blank face rubbed you the wrong way. You waved your hand and muttered a magic spell under your breath and instantly Anastacius frowned before he could do anything the magic spell already dragged him deep into sleep.
Your eyes were cold as you stared down at him.
This bastard was the cause of all the suffering that happened in the first timeline. Even now many of the things he has done so far had impacted your life negatively.
You knew the truth behind the whole fiasco between the brothers. You lived through the atrocities he committed in the name of vengeance.
You hated his guts. It didn't matter if he was just another puppet pulled by strings, the things he has done had hurt everyone you cared about. It led to the suffering of the first timeline.
You'd never forgive him.
But, you had long decided to move forward. This timeline was different because you made choices that were different than before, all for the sake so no one would suffer in vain.
"Bastard, you better take good care of her."
All you need him to do was to take care of Jenette. And be a good father to her. That's it.
There was nothing more to say. Claude would handle him if he became a problem. However, with Jenette in his life, he probably would behave.
You turned away from him and looked at Felix. The storm in your heart eased away at the sight of him sleeping peacefully.
You crouched before him. It was a shame you couldn't hug him and thank him for everything he has done for you.
"Felix, it's about high time you start thinking about yourself. You sacrificed enough. Done enough for everyone. Prioritize your life, and your happiness and be selfish, and for god's sake make a move already before someone else snatch Lily away. She's waiting for you, you know."
Felix stirred and you held your breath. But he only shifted a little, murmuring something you couldn't understand. A look of dread formed on his face.
You sighed as you patted his cheeks and stood up.
The end was here.
All sorts of memories were flashing before your eyes as you made your way back to one person who made saying goodbye hard.
You stepped into the dark bedroom, soundlessly closing the door.
Feeling exhausted, you leaned your head against the door and let out a deep sigh. Somehow you were afraid to turn around. "I'm such an idiot,"
"You can say that again,"
You flinched. Holding your breath you slowly turned around. "Claude,"
Claude was sitting on the bed, clothes put on messily, hair dishevelled from sleep. His face was devoid of any expression as he stared at you.
For a few seconds, you both didn't say anything but stared, letting the silence stretch on.
You opened your mouth and closed it, hesitating as you looked into his emotionless stare. How long it had been since you had seen such a cold, aloof expression on his face?
The first one to move was Claude. He pushed himself off the bed to stand and when he took small steps toward you and you fought the urge to step back.
It felt intimidating. He felt intimidating.
You didn't break eye contact when he stopped before you, shivering when he brushed away the wet strands from your face, his face still remarkably cold.
You parted your lips and his attention shifted to them. His fingers laced through your wet hair and fisted at the back of your head as Claude tilted your head up to meet his lips.
He kissed and kissed harder until you felt your lips swell and chest heave from lack of oxygen. Still, he didn't let on, his tongue kept prodding inside of your mouth like he was trying to find something.
Maybe the passion that always blazed between you two at the mere touch of each other. Or maybe the feverish desire you showed him yesterday, where you refused to part from him the whole day and night.
...That was nowhere to be found. You remained unresponsive and he shortly separated to look into your eyes. He must have seen something he didn't like because the next moment you were shoved against the door and he was encaging you against it.
"(Y/n)," He bit your lower lip, hard enough to make you cringe, letting his tongue soothe the pain afterwards. His hands were rough as they roamed your sides, his lips travelling down the column of your throat, nipping at the skin.
He was afraid, you concluded as you winced when his teeth sank into your collarbone.
Claude couldn't help but tightly press against you, trying to ground you in present and his presence.
There were times you get all quiet and distant, it always scared him because you wouldn't tell him anything no matter how much he insisted. It was one of the biggest sources of conflict between you two, often ending up in huge fights.
One good thing was you both never went to bed angry at each other. It was a rule. You'd kiss away his anger, his fear and all of his insecurities and he would kiss you until your eyes regained the shine he loved, face alit with mischief and not with a cold haunting look. Even if it didn't completely settle the fear, when both of you melted into each other, it was harder to remember anything other than each other's warmth and passion.
"Claude, stop," You whispered and all at once everything came to a stop. He remained against you, breathing heavily, his hands trembling as he loosened his hold on you.
It wasn't working. Claude gritted his teeth. You felt so distant, so cold, his kisses no longer reached you. It was like there was a thick steel wall around you, separating him from you.
Your eyes were devoid of emotions as you untangled his hold on you and sidestepped to create some distance.
No. Not again. Claude wasn't going to let you create distance between you two. Taking hold of your wrist as you tried to pass him, he yanked you back. His eyes narrowing into a cold glare.
You stared at the hand holding your wrist and felt small tremors running through them. You lifted your head, eyes matching his coldness.
"Where do you think you're going?" Claude's voice sharply rang in the empty room. At your silence, he roughly yanked you closer. "Answer me."
Your lips thinned into a hard line. "Don't make it harder than it should be."
The hold on your wrist tightened. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know it."
"No, I don't." You flinched when his voice sharply dropped to a cold, resentful tone. "Have you ever tried, even once to make me understand? No, instead you kept things from me. And now you want me to know what's going on inside your head?"
You yanked your hand away and glared at him. "What do you want me to say? To spill all the secrets? You won't understand. It's better you don't understand."
Claude's eyes flashed coldly. "Don't decide for me."
A bitter smile curled up your lips and you scoffed "Claude, things are already decided. There were for a long time. It doesn't matter if you want to accept it or not." You paused briefly and shook your head. "No, it's better if you accept it. It will be easy for you."
Claude's cold eyes never left you as you created distance away from him, one step at a time. "Are you talking about the past?"
A sudden chill struck your heart. "What?"
"You heard me." Claude didn't elaborate. You searched his face and your heart sank as you noticed the slight trembling of his eyes.
That bitch..
"I know everything. I saw your memories and experienced it first hand myself."
Your heart raced in dread, ears ringing loudly. Cold and hot chills ran down your body as you stared at him.
Claude's stoic face didn't waver at your stunned state. His gaze sank the longer you stared at him, not speaking a word. Not denying anything.
Claude brushed the side of his face, breathing shallow as he kept his eyes on you. He swallowed thickly, there was a painful lump lodged in his throat that was choking him. "...All this time, did you hate me?"