⚠️CW: BLOOD AND VIOLENCE ⚠️
"Tell me where the fuck he is!" I yell
I was totally fucking done, at this point I think I officially am going insane.
Jae looked at me calmly, like he's been this whole time. I have been in this room for twenty minutes with him and he hasn't said anything other than his stupid little comments
I grab the chair and sit down, leaning my elbows on my knees "You told me you had answers, now I drove all the way here for it but you haven't given me a thing"
"I just wanted to spend some time with you Jisung"
I scoff, "Spend time with me? What makes you think I want that? What makes you think we are friends?
"Friends? I don't, far from it" Jae smirks
My jaw tenses "I'll just kill you then" I stood up and walked to the table in the corner
"You can't"
I look over my shoulder to see his shifty eyes "I can do whatever I want" I look back down and grab a knife. Turning and walking to him.
"N-No, you need me"
I bend over to become on the same level as his eyes. "I don't need anyone" I whisper, placing the knife on his cheek and slicing down. Not deep but enough for it to scar, making him yell out in agony.
"Fuck! I'll make Minho hate you more then he already does!" Jae yells I step back and his face falls. His hands were tied behind him so he couldn't really move. "I'll make him hate you" He mumbles.
"And how will you do that? For all I know, he just sees you as an ex fuck buddy, someone who physically and mentally hurt"
I watch the blood drip down his face, his breathing heavy.
He looks up at me tiredly "But you hurt him worse than I ever could" he sounded out of breath. "You know how deeply he loves. His love for you overshadows his hate"
I roll my eyes, grabbing a cloth from the table and cleaning the knife off. "What does this have to with anything, I don't get it ?"
"It has to do with the fact you are the very person that makes him afraid of love, more specifically the word itself"
Flashback
Minho laughs loudly, making me smile at him. Throwing himself down to the floor where I sat, looking up at me.
My hand goes to his hair and I run my fingers through it, he hums with a satisfied smile, closing his eyes. The sound of the tv playing lightly in the background as we forgot about it long ago.
He came over because he wanted to help me with my science homework since I'm failing miserably.
After an hour and a half and four cups of hot chocolates later, we finally finish and I can successfully say I learned a thing or two and those were only things about Minho.
One. He was incredibly good at science.
Two. He loves lots of whipped cream in this hot chocolate.
Minho opens his eyes and looks up at me "I'm proud of you" He whispers.
I couldn't hold back a smile and the tingling in my stomach. I look away briefly, trying to regain myself before looking back down at him "Thank you... for helping me"
"Of course, I'll do it for anyone I love" Minho didn't realize what he had said until he noticed my face of shock. Sitting up he shakes his head "I-I don't m-mean--" He sighs loudly "I do... mean it"
I look away and down to my lap where his head was just laying. Not wanting to hear these words that came from his mouth. "I love you" I heard his weak voice "You don't have to say it back, I just want to get it off my chest"
He loves me, I knew that. I always knew it but it's different for me, how you feel it and when you say it. I was afraid of it, saying it.
I always heard them tell express their love for each other, my mom and dad. I never thought two people could be so in love as they were, I use to think nothing could tear them apart and sometimes still I stay up at night and think about how the universe could ruin something so beautiful and perfect.
Their story ruined it for me, the word--the three words. I use to romanticize love, and being around them made it easy for me to do so. I was young but my mom had this light in her eye every time she would talk to my dad and she would always tell me how he saved her. I didn't understand and I still don't but I'd like to believe he made her a better person.
I watched how broken he was after, how hard he tries now to make me believe he's okay. I watched all that love one day and the next day it was gone, with no warning, no event or conversation that happened that made them both grow more distant from each other. There was no time for them to fall out of love, she was just gone and now I watch my dad live his day-to-day trying to heal while seeing her in me.
So, saying it seems like a curse.
End of Flashback
I punched him constantly, one hit after another. I don't know how I ended up here. One minute He was telling me how I make Minho afraid of love and the next I was on top of him.
Feeling two people grab my arms to pull me off of the male, he lay there. Alive, sadly, but dazed from all the hits he took. Coughing and turning over slowly.
I look at who grabbed me and it was Changbin and another one of our men. "What the fuck Jisung?!?" Changbin yells at me once we get out of the room. "You almost killed him?!"
"And you should of let me! He isn't telling us shit!" Changbin paces back and forth, I sigh and look down at my bloody hands. "You should of let me"
"And why would I? To get us into more shit?"
I scoff, looking up "You really think he will tell us shit? He hasn't and I'm starting to think he doesn't know anything"
"Go home"
I furrow my brows "No, we still have to go to the club"
"Not like this" He motions to my bloody state. "You look and are acting a mess"
I bite my bottom lip and nod, feeling the heat rise in my body as my pride gets beaten. I open my mouth but find it no use as I just walk away and out to the stairs.
-
I stand outside the apartment door, not feeling in the mood to be questioned about my state but I couldn't just stand here so I open the door and enter the apartment.
I didn't look around, just went into the room and to the bathroom.
"Jisung?" I heard Minho call out to me. "Your home early, did anything happen?" I heard him walk into the room and to where I was in the bathroom.
I turn to him as I unbutton my shirt, hearing a small gasp come from Minho. "W-What happened?"
"Oh, nothing," I say sarcastically "Just almost killed your ex, you should thank Changbin for stopping me" I drop my shirt on the floor and turn on the shower.
"You almost killed Jae?" Minho says lowly, almost like he was saying it to himself.
"Yeah, he made me realize a lot actually"
"Like what?"
I put my gun on the counter, "Like how I made you afraid of love"
Minho scoffed "He's such a bullshitter"
"But it's true"
Minho stops and swallows harshly "It's not"
"It is because that's why you left me" I raise my brows "Isn't it?". Minho's jaw tenses "Please, tell me I'm wrong"
Minho looks away and I knew I hit a nerve. "Why do you let him get to you?" He looks at me "It's making you look pathetic"
I knew he was playing dirty, it's what he did. You say something that hits one of his insecurities and he'll strike back hitting one of yours.
I laugh bitterly "Pathetic?" Minho grimaces at my attitude "Says the one that slept with the dude"
"Because of you!" Minho screams, his chin wobbling as he tries not to let his emotions get the best of him. "You hurt me so I tried to forget about you!"
"You hurt me first!" I snap. Minho just shook his head "Don't fucking give me that"
"You know I'm right, you hurt me Jisung. You were always hurting me" I look away, catching my sight in the mirror. I looked disgusting.
I look away "I stopped" I look to him "After we got together I stopped all my shit and I was only with you and I-I took care of you didn't I?" I felt my chest get heavy with emotions that I refused to let out.
Minho nods softly "You did"
"Then how are you blaming me still?"
Minho smiles sadly "Because even though you stopped hurting me doesn't mean I forgot about all those times you did"
I stood there, I didn't know what to say to him. Apart of me wanted to apologize and the other part knew it wouldn't fix anything.
"You want my answer on if you made me afraid of love. No, you didn't make me afraid of falling in love. You made me afraid of saying it out loud"
He walks away, not saying anything else after but just left. I didn't follow him and I didn't call after him, I let him leave because I knew if I apologized now he would accept it and by tomorrow we would forget about it—I would forget about it but he would live with it.
I'll take time, I need to realize now that I hurt him. Without realizing I did, I hurt him and I act like I didn't.