Warnings:
Lactation kink
Panic attack
Blood
It was another week before anything happened, my lessons now over and simply waiting for the right moment to initiate me into their group.
Greyback hadn't caused Narcissa or I any problems after the last little incident, obviously frightened by my threat to cut his dick off. He would snarl at me in the hallway and often glared fiercely from dark corners when we were forced to be in the same room but I just gave him a knowing smirk to piss him off even more.
As for Narcissa and I, we were more or less openly together. We had not stated our relationship with each other but it was obvious to everyone we were using each other during this stressful time, including Lucius. Not that he cared, he had his own playthings within the Death Eaters including his wife's own sister.
Tomorrow morning I was to take the mark and officially become one of them, selling my soul to the Devil himself to keep Dumbledore's plan in action. I was expected to die for the man that I cared nothing for, all to save a world I hadn't asked to be a part of.
I was currently curled up inbetween my lover's legs on her bed, my mind whirring with existential dread. I was completely zoned out, thinking of all the unspeakable acts I would be tasked with and the 24/7 threat of death once I had the symbol carved into my skin, placing a target on my back.
"Love I promise we will get through this. You will get through this. You are so much stronger than you believe and I will be there to help you every step of the way. I'm stuck in this just as much as you are." She kissed the top of my head, squeezing me tightly as I nuzzled my face into her exposed chest.
"Do you wanna..?" She started, trailing off but motioning towards herself.
Over the week that we had been sexual partners we had both discovered a few new things about ourselves as well as each other. I had discovered how soothing the act of breastfeeding could be, also deemed a lactation kink. For me it could be sexual or simply comforting and right now I just needed to be close to the one person I could trust.
I nodded against Narcissa's chest, her fingers coming around to unbutton her top and slip out of her bra, leaving one breast exposed for me to latch onto.
I scooted myself down so that I could take her nipple into my mouth and hug her waist loosely as my body relaxed against hers. This was oddly soothing for the both of us, the older woman's hand coming up to play with my hair, gently scratching the scalp and detangling little knots as she came to them.
I sighed as I suckled, eyes closing as I focused on her fingers in my hair and her rhythmic heartbeat underneath my ear. Our torsos were pressed together and I could feel her lungs expanding, life force flowing through her making me feel safe and loved.
It was late and no one else should have been awake at this time and so I was comfortable enough to drift off to sleep, my actions slowing and finally stopping as I fell prey to slumber. My lips were still firmly attached to Narcissa's breast and I never saw the soft smile on her beautiful face as she listened to my slow, deep breaths to lull herself into the land of sleep.
✨✨✨
I awoke quite abruptly, flinching and startling the woman underneath me awake as well. Screams could be heard filling the hallway that we both recognized to be Bellatrix. It sounded like she was in the middle of a particularly heated argument with Lucius about the events of last night.
I couldn't help but let out a soundless little laugh as I listened to their shouting match, knowing the man had to be livid about her waking the whole house up with her proclamations.
"THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT MALFOY. IF I GET PREGNANT WITH YOUR LITTLE BASTARD OF A BABY YOU'RE GOING TO SEVERELY REGRET IT." The manic witch screamed right outside our door, it sounded as if she was backing down the hallway as she yelled at her sexual partner.
"I TRIED TO GET YOU OFF OF ME BUT YOU KEPT GOING. THIS IS YOUR FAULT LESTRANGE. Go and take a potion just in case. I am not supporting a kid that is as psychotic as you." Lucius retorted, sounding more and more tired towards the end of his little rant.
"You weren't complaining last night when you left your cream pie in my pussy Malfoy." The witch laughed sadistically, her heels tapping against the wooden floor as she sauntered off towards the stairwell.
I could just make out Lucius mumble under his breath "fucking bitch" as he stood outside of our bedroom door.
At this point I had my face buried in Narcissa's chest to stifle my own laughter, the older woman struggling to contain her giggling as well. I finally rolled over and looked up at my lover before falling into a fit of giggles once more.
The two of us finally pulled ourselves together and made our way into the bathroom for a morning shower and a moment of peace from the craziness of this household.
The warm water coupled with my lover's soothing embrace eased my worries about what was to come at least for a few minuets. We stood under the searing spray for far longer than necessary just enjoying the intimacy of having our naked bodies pressed together while swaying gently back and forth.
Narcissa fidgeted with my wet hair, pushing it away from my face as she hummed a tune I did not recognize. The act was very motherly with the added bonus of a sexual relationship and despite all of the bad that came with being a Death Eater, having Narcissa here made all of the pain and suffering worth it.
✨✨✨
The time had come for me to take the Dark Lord's mark. The others were preparing in the meeting room while I waited in the guest room I had occupied while staying with them. Narcissa was to fetch me when the time was right but for now, I waited.
I found myself pacing back and forth in front of my bed while fidgeting with my fingers. My mind was racing a mile a minute and I was quickly becoming overwhelmed by all of the emotions swirling around in my head.
My breathing was quickening and the panic was setting in the longer I stayed confined to this room, becoming very unsure of my past choices. I wasn't sure if I could go through with this.
Sure it had been easy enough to volunteer in the heat of the moment but now that it had arrived, I was absolutely terrified. I was becoming a Death Eater. I was going to be part of the most hated group of terrorists in the Wizarding World. I was going to be seen as a supporter of Voldemort even though I was fighting for the light side. The worst part? I would be seen as a traitor to both sides to those that didn't know about my double agent duties. Including the woman I was growing to love.
I had not stated my true intentions to Narcissa as I knew that it would put both her and I in even more danger. Not to mention the fact that she would undoubtedly hate me and break things off. No I absolutely couldn't tell her. I needed her to get through this Hell.
My throat was constricting and I couldn't help the tears that were now falling down my cheeks as my anxiety took hold, everything else forgotten as the self deprecating thoughts surfaced.
'You're a monster.'
'Everyone is going to hate you.'
'You're going to die and no one will care.'
'She will never forgive you.'
I had turned to walking back and forth in a tiny space, barely taking two steps before turning around again as my hands groped desperately at my hair. I heard the door to my bedroom open and turned to see Narcissa walk in and shut the door behind her.
She took one look at my red, tear soaked face and panicked breathing before rushing over to me and wrapping me in a hug, the two of us falling to the floor as my knees gave out under me.
"Shhh sweetheart. You're alright. You're ok. I've got you baby." She held me securely and I melted into her touch, gripping at the fabric around the other woman's chest desperately.
"I can't do this. Cissy I can't do this." I sobbed, voice cracking as I cried.
"Shhh honey love yes you can. I know you can. You are so, so strong y/n and I know you can get through this with your head held high. It is not the end of the world although it may seem like it. This will end, and you will make it through. I will make sure of it." Narcissa peppered kisses on the top of my head and just cuddled me, gently swaying back and forth as my sobs slowly turned to quiet sniffling and finally died down altogether.
She moved her head to try and look at my face to see if I had actually stopped crying. "Are you alright now love?" She asked lovingly, hugging me just a little bit tighter and slowly rubbing my back and upper arm with both hands.
I nodded into the other witch and with a final sniffle, pulled away from her. I dug the heels of my hands into my red rimmed eyes to try and rub the soreness away. Finally I gazed up into the concerned brown eyes of Narcissa as she watched me, allowing me a moment to compose myself.
"I'm alright." I whispered, not meaning it in the slightest.
"Ok." Was the only response I received. She knew I wasn't ok.
However, we had no more time for this and I was expected to be downstairs 10 minutes ago. The Dark Lord did not like to wait and so I grabbed my wand and threw a hasty glamour charm over my face to hide my current state and set my shoulders, ready to face the inevitable.
I walked into the meeting room behind Narcissa, strutting confidently forwards into the middle of the circle they had formed to spectate my initiation.
Voldemort eyed me with contempt, unamused by my lateness. I stepped as close to him as I dared, gazing up at the tall man after greeting him with a small, submissive nod.
"I do not tolerate tardiness Miss y/l/n. This will not happen again or your punishment shall be severe. Am I understood child?" His slitted eyes narrowed and I swallowed nervously before responding.
"Yes my Lord. I apologize and it will not happen again." My voice was monotone and I just wanted to get this over with without being crucioed.
"Make sure of it. Now, everyone step closer and join hands as we accept Miss y/n y/l/n into our ranks." The other Death Eaters closed the circle and made it as small as possible, joining hands and causing a white ring of magic to form around myself and the Dark Lord.
The snake faced man opened his grey, wrinkly hand to me and I placed my arm in his freezing cold grasp. His hold on me was surprisingly gentle, however, his wand was not.
He was actually carving the symbol into my skin as if it was a tattoo, a steady trickle of blood rolling down my forearm as I clenched my jaw and held as still as possible.
Once he had finished I admired his handiwork and eyed the snake slightly wriggling in my skin before it stilled its movements entirely and became a part of me. Voldemort smiled a wicked grin and held my arm up for the others to see, blood dripping onto the marble floor as I winced in pain.
The circle was dropped and the group clapped, cheering for their new recruit. All except for Narcissa who just politely clapped a few times before giving me a sad look. The damage had been done. I was officially a Death Eater.
A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed this little short story. I know it ends quite abruptly so like I said at the beginning if y'all like it it may be something I continue. Who knows lols. <333