Warnings:
Torture
Killing
Panic attack
Later that morning I was summoned by Bellatrix down to the meeting room to begin my lessons in becoming a Death Eater. I was met by the Dark Lord himself, the werewolf wishing to violate me, the crazy insane asylum patient that had escorted me, Scabior, and Barty Crouch Jr. the others were Merlin knows where in the large house avoiding what would be going on in this room shortly.
I sighed and set my shoulders, occluding my mind and glaring harshly at every single person in the room, daring them to fuck with me. Bellatrix chuckled at my actions, giving me a pouty look before speaking.
"Aw how cute. Trying to look all tough in front of the boys." She laughed a sinister laugh, decaying teeth out for all to see as she sauntered over to her spot beside her master, molding her body against his side like his little whore.
I glared at the psychotic woman before shifting my gaze to the man at her side, awaiting my orders.
"Miss y/l/n if you are to be one of us you must become accustomed to using more.. extreme measures against those that wrong us." I knew exactly what that meant. Mind control. Torture. Killing. The three unforgivables.
"Of course my lord." I returned his sadistic smile with one of my own, narrowing my eyes and quirking one side of my mouth up to appear more enthralled about my lessons.
"Bellatrix?" The snake faced man called, the woman in question knowing what he wanted and walking back over to me with her wand swinging at her side.
She stopped in front of me and held her free hand out. "Wrist." It was a command rather than a request and I did as she said, laying my exposed arm in the manic woman's grasp.
Her hold on me was tight, long dirty nails digging into the soft flesh as she poked the tip of her wand into my wrist hard enough for a single drop of blood to form around the weapon.
Bellatrix mumbled a spell under her breath before releasing me and returning to her original position. I looked at my bloody arm to see a tiny black line carved into my skin running vertically and not even covering an inch of the exposed flesh.
I furrowed my brow in confusion as my gaze found its way upwards and flitted between Lord Voldemort and his little prison pet, silently asking for an explanation.
"The small tattoo allows us to slip through the ministry's wards when it comes to using the unforgivable curses. With it, they can no longer detect any magic coming from your fingertips." I glanced back down to my arm, brushing the thumb of my other hand over it and smearing the blood across my marred skin. 'So that's how they've done it all this time'.
"Now, onto the fun stuff." A door opened behind me to reveal a bound and gagged woman being guarded by the Dark Lord's familiar, Nagini. The large snake hissed and posed to strike behind the woman, pushing her forwards into the room of onlookers.
Fear was evident in her big brown eyes and I assumed her to be a muggle as I did not recognize her. Not to mention the fact that the others were looking down on her with disgust. The brunette's eyes pleaded with me to help her but I knew I couldn't. It would get me killed alongside the stranger.
The people in the room surrounded the young woman, including myself, and someone undid her bindings magically.
"Who-who are you?" She asked in a quivering, quiet voice. "What do you want with me? How did you undo my bindings without touching me?" The poor woman was terrified. She couldn't have been more than 27 years old.
"Silence muggle." The stranger looked around frantically at all of us as the snake faced man spoke, unable to even comprehend his looks in her fearful state. She did however go silent.
"Now, she will be our plaything for the day." Voldemort stepped forward and cast the imperious curse, causing her body to slump and her face to take on a dreamy expression as she was soothed by the calming effects of the curse's hold on her mind.
The man had her walk around the room, talk, and even toyed with her by forcing her to hold a butcher knife to her own throat, pressing just deep enough to leave a thin trail of blood across her jugular before allowing her to let the weapon fall to her side.
Bellatrix was all too eager to execute the cruciatus, giggling and bouncing up and down on her toes as we all watched the girl writhe on the floor in agony. She screamed bloody murder as her mind was very nearly ripped in half by the intensity of the pain.
And then, it was my turn. The stranger was crying on the floor, begging to be killed and released from this torment. She had no idea what she had done to deserve this or to be here, and neither did I.
I numbed my own mind and dropped all emotions in order to not feel remorse for what I was about to do. With a small sigh and glazed over eyes, I pointed my wand at the sobbing woman and cast the imperious curse.
The hateful curse came easily to me so long as I kept my emotions in check and refused to see her as a human being. I could over analyze my actions at a later date.
I had the woman walk around within our circle, made it appear as if I was having fun by making her flirt with Scabior, and even had her do a cartwheel in the middle of the large room. The others laughed at her actions and praised me for my control.
Next up, the cruciatus. This one was a bit harder for me to keep up as I had no real desire to cause her pain. However, I set my jaw and cast the curse. Focusing on the surge of energy flowing out of my body rather than the screams of agony underneath me. I walked forward, gripping my wand tighter and trying not to let the tear threatening to slip down my face exit my body as I stored the memory of the innocent woman I was killing in my darkest memories to torture myself with later.
I finally released the curse to a bunch of 'awes' coming from the others, upset that the show was over. I glanced to Voldemort out of the corner of my eye and received a tiny hint of a nod as the go ahead.
Without a single thought that could potentially make my decision waiver, I cast the killing curse on the girl, her body instantly dropping to the floor with a sickening thud. Her eyes remained open but the fearful expression was long gone, being replaced with the dull glaze of death settling over her young features. I had just killed a person.
"Well done child. That is all for now. You have proved yourself worthy." Voldemort dismissed me and I strutted confidently out the door before racing up the stairs and to my room, shutting the door behind me and sliding my back down the wood. Tears were streaming down my face as sobs wracked my body, breath not coming easily as my lungs struggled to take in all that I needed.
My hands found there way into my hair and gripped tightly giving myself some sort of physical pain in order to combat the emotional turmoil. I knew my panic had subconsciously placed a silencing charm around the room even though I hadn't said a word, helping me hide my true emotions from the psychopaths right outside my door.
My vision was blurring and becoming spotty as my panic attack took hold, head spinning wildly. I knew I needed to get my thoughts under control before I passed out and began counting out loud repetitively.
"1..2..1..2..1..2" I focused on regulating the beat as my lungs began to expand more and more, taking in much needed air the longer I did that. I cleared my mind to the best of my ability and heard nothing more than my little mantra, soon getting out of the danger zone and relaxing ever so slightly.
I really needed Narcissa but couldn't go out looking for her until I had regained my composure and wouldn't appear suspicious to anyone I happened to run into. I pulled myself up on shaky legs and shuffled my way along the wall towards the bathroom. I could barely hold myself up as I filled the bathtub with water and bubbles, needing to wash the filth from my skin.
Very ungracefully I pulled off my clothing and more or less fell into the clawfoot tub, scrubbing harshly at my skin with the loofa with more tears streaming down my face. Once my skin was a bright red color I pulled my knees up to my chest and dropped my face, accepting the onslaught of emotions and crying freely.
I never heard the door to my room open, or her calling my name. It was her soft hand on my exposed back that finally got my attention and my head shot up, red puffy eyes finding Narcissa's concerned brown ones.
"Hey, hey darling. Bella told me what happened." She stroked the hair plastered to my tear stained face out of the way and cupped my burning hot cheek as sobs filled my throat once more.
I dropped my face back down to my knees and hugged them tighter, Narcissa rubbing my back and trying to shush me as my naked body shook in the cooling water.
I finally allowed her to help me out of the tub and to get dressed, completely uncaring of how I looked to her in this moment. Right now I needed somebody, anybody, and she was the only one that I trusted in this Hellhole.
The older witch helped me onto the bed, letting me curl my body around hers and holding me securely as I sniffled into her chest.
"They made me torture her. Kill her. I'll never get the image of her screaming on the ground out of my mind. The green light covering her body as she writhed. The flash before her legs gave out under her." My voice steadied as I went on, slowly becoming more monotone and my vision faded out as my body reacted to the trauma it had just endured. All I could see were the images of the woman swirling around in my mind.
Narcissa ran her hand up and down my arm to try and bring me out of my stupor. "I am so sorry you had to undergo that darling. If I could switch places with you I would in a heartbeat. I know this is so much for you to handle but I do hope you know that you have a friend here. I promise I will do anything I can to help you through this. I.. care for you very much y/n and it hurts me to see you in so much pain." She whispered that last sentence into my hair before placing a light kiss on my forehead, her salty tears hitting my skin.
As much as I was hurting from my own mind, I couldn't bare to see the woman I was growing to love in pain over me. I scooched my face out of the crook of her neck to lightly kiss her cheek while wiping the tears from her eyes with one thumb. I replaced my head where it had been on her shoulder and never saw the look of astonishment cross the older woman's face due to my actions.
After my extremely stressful morning and my brain trying to find a way to cope with the trauma it had just endured, I was feeling incredibly sleepy. It didn't help that I actually felt safe once again wrapped in Narcissa's embrace. I understandably hadn't slept much last night and decided to rest my eyes while the other woman was there to keep me safe.