A/N : *nervous laughter* I wasn't prepared for this, neither are all of you.
Enjoy and bring the tissues x
"Alright, people of the universe, the meeting's gonna start in a few minutes." Sirius called, clapping his hands.
It had been five months since I last went to Number 12 Grimmauld Place for a meeting. Remus decided to bring me there after a while of debating to himself, although I had just come there to merely listen, nothing else.
A crack came from the door, and as soon as we all heard the familiar sound of a cane smacking against the floorboards.
I saw his magical eye instantly focusing on my growing stomach. I assumed that he felt a great protectiveness over the baby ever since I announced I was expecting, and I felt extremely grateful to him.
"Isn't it quite strange that Mad-Eye knows what your daughter looks like before you and Moony do?" Ana nudged my shoulder with a chuckle as I joined in.
"Tell me Mad-Eye, does she look like her father?" I cheekily asked, Remus scoffed behind Sirius.
"No, she definitely looks like her mum. Doesn't she, Mad-Eye?" he said.
Mad-Eye just simply grunted. "I'm not telling, you two will have to wait."
I let out a defeated huff, and Sirius laughed.
However, Mad-Eye's face was suddenly guilt-ridden, and looked at Remus, which worried me.
"Is there something wrong?" my face fell in confusion.
"Lupin, I need to talk to you, privately." Mad-Eye growled under his breath. I furrowed my eyebrows, and he reluctantly stood up from his seat, following Mad-Eye outside.
"I'll be right back." he whispered and shut the door.
"Good thing Fred and George borrowed me one of their Extendable-Ears." Sirius grinned, pulling out one of the twins' joke products, and he quickly shoved it under the door.
"Alastor," I heard Remus faintly. His voice was full of fear and pain at the same time. "I can't. My wife and child need me, tell Dumbledore that he needs to find someone else."
"There's nothing I can do, son. You have to go."
"He's not going! He has a child on the way!" I cried, pacing back and forth outside after learning about their conversation. Both of them looked stern yet sorrowful.
"I tried to reason with Dumbledore, but your husband has no choice, kid."
"I don't give a damn on what Dumbledore thinks!" I retorted.
"I have to talk to the Headmaster, he's coming here to fully discuss it, and I'll try to convince him – " Mad-Eye was interrupted by the opening of the door, Albus Dumbledore had arrived along with the rest of the Order. His face bore a soft and gentle smile, which disgusted me a bit.
"You know perfectly well it's dangerous," I said to the elderly headmaster. "And you also know perfectly well that I'm having a child, and it needs its father!"
"I understand your concerns, Mrs. Lupin." Dumbledore said calmly.
"Professor, I politely decline your offer. What if something happens – what if she goes into labor earlier than expected? I can't miss my daughter's birth –" Remus said strongly, but was interrupted when Dumbledore raised his hand.
"I understand both of your wife's concerns, Remus. But this is important to the Order, the werewolves are likely to side with Voldemort and you, are the only one who can convince them otherwise –"
"Werewolves?!" Sirius questioned with a raised voice, opening the door and shooting the same expression as me to Dumbledore. "You can't possibly do this again! I hope you still have the guts to remember that he almost died when you last sent him there!"
"Again?"
It all went silent, the Order members just glancing at Dumbledore with doubt.
"You knew he nearly died the last time and you're doing it again?!" I yelled, unable to control my anger. "He's not going, and that's final!"
"Sir," Sirius said, in a low voice, glaring at Dumbledore. "I know you're like... a hundred years old, but your choices are shit."
"I'm afraid, Mrs. Lupin, the matter at hand... is not negotiable." the aging man said gently, causing the whole room to gasp.
"NO! Stop acting like you care, because you don't! You act like this is important for the Order but in reality, you're using us all like chess pieces!" I lashed out, glaring at him dangerously as I marched upstairs to my old room in anger and sadness.
I closed the door and laid on my side on the soft, clean mattress of my former bed, that I haven't seen or laid on for months as I cried my eyes out and clenched the sheets in agony.
I couldn't bear to lose Remus to a suicide mission, I wasn't the only one who needed him, but Hope as well.
Probably thirty minutes had passed, and I heard the door slowly creaking open. I instinctively knew it was him.
His footsteps grew gradually louder as he stepped closer to my bed, but I chose to ignore him. I felt his weight sinking onto the mattress and his hand touching me.
"Don't go." I said in a broken whisper.
"I don't want to either, darling." he said quietly, his fingers running through my hair soothingly.
"What if I lose you?" I finally looked up at him, teary-eyed.
"You won't lose me, I promise," he stated surely, his thumb tracing my cheek. "The meeting's over."
Indeed it was, I heard clunking on the floor, Mad-Eye was standing by the door, his face was sympathetic. Remus let out a heavy breath.
"When?" he said hoarsely, I felt his hand gripping mine tightly.
"Sunday." the whole atmosphere collapsed.
"Same rules as last time?" Remus questioned.
"Yes," Mad-Eye grunted, his magical eye falling on me. "I'm sorry, kid. I tried."
The night had passed, and neither of us slept despite our exhausted states after going back home. He held me close to him, as he always did, my head on his chest and our gentle breathing were the only sounds in the room.
"I guess the baby shower is canceled?" I mumbled, breaking the silence. He hummed softly in agreement. Had he not been assigned on the mission, Molly would've thrown us a celebration for the baby.
"Sirius and Ana are staying with you while I'm away." he whispered, I nodded my head feebly.
"Top cupboard on the right, first shelf, behind your old Jane Austen books. It's in the kitchen."
he said all of a sudden.
My brow creased in confusion, was he talking in his sleep or –
"Chocolates. I stacked loads for you and Hope to try while I'm gone." he said.
"You- really did?" I looked at him sweetly as he did the same to me.
"Well, I know she loves chocolate, like her Dad." he teased, rubbing gentle patterns across my stomach.
"How sweet of you, Remus." I sighed in awe, his cheeks turning into an adorable shade of pink. "You're perfect."
"As are you, my love." he kissed my head.
Sunday had arrived.
As both Remus and I dreaded.
We had woken up at the crack of dawn to pack the things that he needed. And Sirius and Ana had arrived at 5:00, and 25 minutes later, Remus was standing by the doorstep, with a saddened face yet he had to stay strong.
"Alright, Moony...see you soon." Sirius pulled him into a tight, brotherly embrace and both patted each other's back strongly before pulling apart.
"Take care of them both, you know how reckless these siblings can get." Remus said with a soft chuckle to Ana, who embraced him as well.
She and Sirius walked back to the kitchen, leaving the two of us alone.
"I'm sorry, but don't take this in the wrong way. You know I still love you, but it's part of the rules." I noticed Remus reaching for his wedding ring, and pulling it off, placing it on my hand with a shaky breath.
"I understand." I said, nodding my head and letting my eyes look at his, shoving the silver ring into my pocket.
He sniffed and letting the tears fall he crashed his body onto mine and gave me a bone-crushing embrace. Seeing him silently cry gave me the courage to do so as well.
He dropped to his knees and kissed my stomach, very tenderly, pressing his ear against it.
"I know, sweetheart. I don't want to go either, I'll miss you. You and Mummy stay safe for me, ok? Daddy loves you, so so much."
"I have to go, I love you." he croaked with a wince, his eyes searched mine like they always did, he touched my red, tear-streaked cheek before our lips crashed together. The last time I would feel their warmth before probably a months-long mission.
"I love you more. Come back, please." I sniffed, his finger was gently caressing the smooth surface of the blue gemstone of my engagement ring, a special piece that symbolized the official moment I accepted him as my whole world.
His hand slipped away with mine. He took a step back and disappeared right before my eyes with a crack.
And just like that, he was gone.