Harry Styles
6:14 am
Andi's alarm is supposed to be going off in sixteen minutes so that she can wake up and get herself and the kids ready.
They're leaving me today.
I've hardly slept at all since we fell into bed last night after the Birmingham show. Andi fell asleep on my chest, but sometime in the middle of the night, she turned around so her back was pressed to my front as I held her close.
My left hand lies under her shirt, cupping her breast while the other rests under her neck, allowing us to be even closer. Her dark hair sits on the top of her head in a loose ponytail, flowing freely over the pillowcase. With my face buried in her neck, I can't help myself from puckering my lips and leaving soft, sensual kisses against her skin.
The sun has started peeking through the hotel curtains, bathing us the littlest bit of sunlight as I watch her sleep. Andi smells of mint and honey, just like the tea she likes to drink. Everything about her scent is enough to satiate any needs I could possibly have.
Andi's body responds to my innocent kisses, surprising me as she gently presses her ass into my already hard erection. My hands give her breast that's already in my hand a light squeeze as I flatten my tongue against the skin right below her ear before leaving another small kiss
Andi's nimble fingers lace through mine under my shirt that she's wearing, slowly traveling down the length of her torso, down to her hips before landing on the waistband of her thong.
I wait to take direction from her, obviously knowing where she wants this to go but wanting her consent beforehand. Andi's breaths become noticeably labored as she slips our conjoined hands underneath her panties, her hand now resting on top of mine while she presses my index and middle finger to her clit.
My hands follow suit, stimulating her enough to have Andi's back arching into me as a whimper escapes her. My lips trail all around her neck, up to her ear before biting gently, and down her jawline.
Andi's hand reaches back to take me in her hand, palming me slowly. She only does this for a few seconds before quickly shoving at the waistband of my boxers, trying to help me get them down my legs.
I take matters into my own hands, hitching Andi's leg over my own behind her before sliding her thong to the side, lining myself up with her, and pushing in.
Our quiet moans fill the room as I slowly rock into her, her ass meeting my hips at every thrust. Andi's hand tangles into my hair as she turns her head to meet my lips. It's a combination of kissing and heavy breathing into the other's mouth as I fuck her nice and slow.
Not a word has been shared between us, but I don't need any vocalization to know that we're both close to coming undone all over each other. Andi's clenching and incessant moans as she grips the bed sheets in her hands tell me she's reached her high.
With a few more rolls of my hips, I'm coming inside her. My entire body shakes as our hot, sticky skin presses together. Shared moans and hot breaths are the only things that can be heard as we melt into the bed and each other.
Pushing back some hair that fell from her ponytail, I peck her lips. "Hi, pretty girl."
"Morning, loverboy." Andi's morning voice is sexy as hell, especially after she's just been fucked and is a little out of breath. I can't help but smile at her as she gazes at me. I watch as something flits through her mind, and soon enough her eyes become a little sad and a frown overtakes her face. "We're leaving today."
"I know."
"I don't want to go." It's as if it's just dawned on her that she's flying home today, and watching all the emotions overcome her, tugs at my heartstrings.
"I know, baby. I don't want you to go. But you get to go back to work, and you love work. That's something to look forward to, isn't it?"
She nods, still, a sad look etched onto her face. As much as it pains me to have them leave me, I know what it's like to be the one that's leaving, and since Andi was so strong for me when it was me leaving them, I owe her the same.
"It's only a couple of weeks, yeah? I'm still coming home for Ellie's birthday."
A breath escapes her perfect lips, "I know."
Just as I go to speak up, Andi's alarm starts ringing through our room, telling us it's time to get going so they can get to the airport in time. I reach over Andi, stopping the alarm on her phone and resting back in a position above her as I look into her eyes.
"It'll be okay, A. You'll be so busy working and getting back into your routine, the days will fly by and we'll be together again before you know it."
Andi's eyes move to the side of me, breaking our eye contact. "You're right. I know you're right. It's just been so much fun being here and doing life with you."
I open my mouth to respond when our bedroom door is creaking open. In walks Ellie and it has me hurrying to reach beneath the cover to find my boxers before sliding them back up my legs.
"Momma? You awake?"
"Yeah baby," Andi glances at me, checking to make sure I have something covering my dick before I give her a nod. "Come cuddle for a sec before we get dressed for the day."
Ellie climbs up on the bed, Andi meeting her halfway to set her in the spot between us. "What are we doing today?"
Andi and I share a look, "We're going back today, El. To our house."
Ellie turns to face me, a smile lighting up her face. "Daddy's coming back too?"
My heart sinks, "No, babe, I'm sorry. I have to stay here and keep doing shows." I watch as her smile falters as the words click in her head. "But I'll be home soon for your birthday party, and I can't wait!"
Ellie nods, "I don't want to leave you, daddy. Want you to come with us."
"Me too, baby. I'm sorry, I really wish I could come with you."
When Ellie's eyes start to brim with tears and her bottom lip begins to quiver, Andi is quick to speak up. "Ellie, why don't we go get dressed? What are you going to pick to wear today?"
Ellie's eyes turn to Andi on the other side of her and she shrugs. "What are you wearing, momma?"
A giggle escapes Andi, knowing that Ellie tries to match as much as possible with Andi. "I'm thinking... something comfy. Maybe some sweats and a hoodie so I'm warm on the flight?"
Ellie nods and turns back to me with a small smile on her face, "I have sweats and a hoodie too?"
"I'm sure we can find something, El. You want to match with An- Mumma?" I correct myself there at the end, not used to referring to Andi as a mum.
"Mhm!"
In hopes to lighten the mood, I swiftly pull off the covers, grabbing Ellie and slinging her over my shoulder before taking off to the other room where Rome sleeps. Ellie's squeals and giggles are music to my ears as she bounces along while upside down.
"Daddy!" She laughs and my heart swells.
"Let's find you some clothes huh?" I pull her back up to see a bright smile on her face as she's quickly nodding. Looking into the pack and play crib, I see Rome is waking up slowly from the noise. "Hi buddy! Let's get you dressed as well, what do you say?" With my other arm, I pick up Rome from his bed and set him on my other hip. "Okay princess El, show me what you want to wear, and I'll get your brother dressed while you find it. Okay?"
"Okay!"
I set her on the ground, making my way to Rome's bag to find him something to wear today. I decide to just settle on something comfortable for him as well since it's such a long flight. I dress him in a long sleeve gray onesie before sliding up some black joggers up his tiny legs.
"Here daddy!" Ellie comes rushing up to me with clothes in her hand. She's shoving them in my arms with a smile on her face. I unfold them and look down to see a cream sweatshirt dress with green lettering on the front that says 'girls can do anything.'
"Should we get you some leggings or something to wear underneath so you don't get chilly?"
She pushes her lips to the side, tapping her head as she thinks. "Hmmm yes!"
I do my best not to laugh at how fucking adorable she is. "Alright babe. Let's do it. What shoes?"
"Black!" She tells me, referring to her black converse.
It takes us a second to get her completely dressed with her shoes on before Andi is stepping through the doorway, fully dressed and picking up Rome to wish him good morning and kiss his cheek.
She's wearing cream sweats with a red lightening bolt up the thigh, and a matching hoodie with red lettering on the chest. She of course looks so fucking good, and it has me questioning how she can manage to pull off literally everything.
"C'mon El, let's do your hair!"
Ellie follows Andi into the bathroom, leaving me with Rome as he sits up all by himself on the blanket I've laid on the floor. "Listen, Rome. I need you to make sure the girls are good and happy. They might be sad in the next couple of days, but I need you to promise me to be good for your mum. She needs you, buddy."
Rome just stares at me with his big blue eyes that remind me of Andi so much. He smiles, and even though I know he has no idea what I just said, I know he'll look out for Andi. He always does.
"Look at my hair daddy!" Ellie materializes next to me as I sit on the floor. Her hair is in just a simple messy bun, but that seems to be her favorite these days.
"Love it, El. You look so pretty today!"
"Thank you!"
I glance up to Andi, seeing the worried look on her face, "What time is it, baby?"
"Almost seven thirty. We need to get going."
I nod and stand up with Rome in my arms. I pick up the kids' bag with my other hand, carrying it out to the living room area where we'll say goodbye. I have a driver taking them and Shawn to the airport. As much as I want to spend the extra time with them and be the one to send them off, I couldn't risk people seeing me and harassing them because of it.
Once by the door, I call someone to come up and take the bags down to the car so we can say goodbye and get them on their way. As soon as we're left alone, Andi looks up at me through her lashes. Her blue eyes meet my green as they become glassy with tears.
"Hey," I pull her into my chest, rubbing up and down her back. "It's okay, it's alright. I'm so happy you got to be here at all. It was a fun week, wasn't it?" She nods into my chest, taking a big breath before letting out a choked sob. "I'll call you every day like we did before. I won't miss a day, baby. I promise."
Andi pulls back, looking at me with tear stained cheeks. "We'll be alright?"
A small laugh escapes me, "Yes my love. You and I both know we'll be alright."
Looking down, I see Ellie with her little arms wrapped around my leg. I bend down to pick her up, staring into her eyes. "Hey princess. You gonna be okay?"
Her wobbly chin nods, "I'll try, daddy."
"It's okay to be sad, El. You don't have to pretend not to be sad. But it's going to be okay, baby. I'll see you very soon and we'll play princesses when I get back. That sound good?"
A small tear falls from her eye down her cheek. "Yes, sounds good." My heart pounds in my chest as Ellie leans forward and kisses my cheek. I squeeze her tight to me, pressing a multitude of kisses to her head and cheeks.
I set Ellie on the ground, reaching forward to kiss Rome on the head as Andi holds him in her arms. When I pull back, Rome's arms are reaching forward to me as if he wants me to hold him. I look up at Andi to see her with the same surprised look on her face.
He always wants Andi, not me.
When I don't make the move to take him from her arms, his face screws up in a pained cry. "Dada," he mumbles and my heart stops beating.
"Did he-"
"Y-yeah." Andi confirms.
I reach out, taking Rome to my arms where he calms down and rests his head on my shoulder. "Dada, Dada, Dada." He continues to babble. I don't know if he's doing it intentionally, or just testing out new words he's heard from Ellie, but either way, I'm selfish enough to make myself believe it was on purpose.
A knock on the door has Andi jumping slightly before twisting the doorknob and opening the door to reveal Shawn on the other side. "You guys ready?"
Andi nods, "Yeah." The five of us make our way down the elevator, through the lobby, and to the front of the hotel where there's a car waiting for them. I buckle Rome into his car seat while Andi does the same for Ellie. After saying goodbye to Shawn and thanking him profusely for helping out so well, I meet Andi at her door where she looks at me with love in her eyes.
"I love you, H."
I pull her in for a hug, holding her to me, "I love you so so much, Andi. I'll see you soon, yeah?"
She pulls away, "Yeah. I'll call you when we land and get back to the house."
With one last kiss, I open the door for Andi before helping her inside. She gives me one last look before closing it. I watch as the car takes off down the road, standing out on the valet driveway until I can no longer see it before heading back up to my room to pack my things so we can prepare to leave later on today.
This is going to be a long two weeks.
__________
Andi Rhoades
"You alright?"
I turn to Shawn, giving him a small smile. "Yeah, it's just hard saying goodbye."
He places a comforting hand on my knee, "I know, but I think you all did really well."
I only nod lightly, "Yeah. Could've been worse."
We spend the rest of the drive to the airport in silence as I watch the gloomy city fade while we pass the familiarity that I've come to love. It's not long until we're pulling up into the departures to be let out.
I take Ellie's hand as Shawn holds Rome on his hip as we walk into the airport. Everything runs by in such a blur, and it isn't until we're through security and waiting at our gate that I feel a tap on my shoulder that brings me back from my fog.
"Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to bother you. You're Andi?"
The girl standing in front of me is adorned in a bunny, love on tour tee, and it brings an instant smile to my face. "I am, yeah. What's your name?"
She smiles, seemingly pleased that I've asked. "I'm Gia... sorry, I just wanted to say hi. I saw you at the second London show. I was the one that gave you the purple boa? You probably don't remember me."
I laugh lightly, "Of course! Sorry I hope you don't mind but I sort of repurposed the boa you gave me."
"Really? You kept it?"
I nod, "Want to see what I did with it?"
"Yeah! Yeah of course."
I pull out my phone, deciding to just show her my lockscreen which is a picture of Harry, me, and the kids after the Manchester show. "Well actually, he," I point to Shawn, "Is the one that made it, I just had the idea, and you supplied the materials," I wink.
Gia laughs, "That's so cool. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I'm a huge Harry fan, and we've always loved you, even before..." she trails off.
"That's really sweet, Gia, thank you."
"I just want you to know that we support you guys in whatever happens. You obviously make him really happy."
Something about what she says has me feeling emotional, and all I can do is nod. "Do you care if I hug you?" I ask her, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable at all.
"No, no of course not."
I pull her in for a quick hug. "It really means a lot to me that you came up to me. I'm sorry Harry's not here," I joke.
She laughs as we break apart. We talk for a few seconds about the show and she tells me about how she's visiting her grandmother in London, but she lives in New York. Something about this girl makes me feel warm. She's just graduated high school, so she's about the same age as my students, and I think it's that similarity that makes her feel so homey.
"Are you going to be at the MSG shows then?" I ask her and she nods and tells me which one. "Look for me. I think I'll be there. If not, give me your Instagram if you're comfortable and I'll reach out to you so you can meet Harry. Does that sound good?"
"Are you kidding?" I shake my head no. "Oh my god, okay."
I unlock my phone, go to my notes app before handing it to her, "Put you Instagram or Twitter or something that I can message you on and I'll get ahold of you when he goes to New York."
Gia seems thrilled, and it momentarily has me forgetting about the sadness in my soul about leaving Harry. She gives me her info, and I set a reminder for the day of the concert to message her so I don't forget. The gate agent for our flight is announcing boarding, so I apologize to Gia for cutting our conversation short so I can get everything ready to get the kids on the plane.
Once she leaves, Shawn comes up to me with Ellie latched to his hand. "That was cute."
"She was a really sweet girl."
"Ready for this?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."
***
By the time we're exiting our gate and making our way to the transportation deck, I'm fucking exhausted in every single way of the word. That flight was completely opposite to the flight there. It's not that Ellie was bad, she wasn't mean or grumpy or naughty, she just didn't sleep like she did on the way there.
She acted as any other three year old would on an eleven hour flight. She got bored, started crying when I told her she couldn't run around in the aisles and even got sick at one point. Rome was better, but only slightly. His teeth coming in started irritating him, and he screamed into my chest for a solid three hours of the flight before he wore himself out and fell asleep.
Ellie didn't like that I was holding Rome and not her, which is odd behavior coming from her, so she sobbed about that. Shawn tried to help as much as possible, but Ellie and Rome only wanted me. The only time Ellie would allow Shawn to help was if he could distract her with a movie or coloring.
Just as we cross the threshold where you can't turn around without going through security, I see three men with large cameras waiting by the door that we're supposed to exit through.
I feel a little on edge since parting with Harry, and while I know that those cameras aren't here to take pictures of me since Harry's not with me, I can't help but be paranoid. Out of precaution, I cover Rome with his blanket and whisper to Shawn to keep Ellie between us.
"Miss Rhoades!" One shouts, catching me off guard. "Miss Rhoades, is Harry with you?"
I just ignore them, making a beeline for the door. I'm not in the mood to even think about why they'd even bother to ask me questions when Harry's not with me.
"Someone must have seen us at the airport and assumed Harry was coming back to California with me," I whisper to Shawn.
"Just stay close to me and keep Ellie close. We just have to make it to the car."
I nod and speed up my walk, but not too much that Ellie can't keep up. "Momma, what's happening?"
"It's okay baby, just stay close to momma." As we get closer to the men, they start crowding around us, not being pushy or touching me at all, but I worry that they're scaring Ellie.
"Miss Rhoades!"
"Andi!"
"Andi, how was your time in England with Harry? Did the kids have a good time?"
I set Rome into his car seat and buckle him in, letting Shawn do the same for Ellie as we hurry to just get out of here as soon as possible. The shouting doesn't stop, and it seems as if there are twice as many men as before. As soon as they're both secure the two of us get ourselves situated.
"Miss Rhoades! Are you and Mr. Styles back together now that you're raising your friend's chi-"
I slam the car door closed before I can hear the end of their sentence, regardless of knowing how it ends. I bury my face in my hands, letting out the breath I seemed to have been holding since I came in contact with them.
Reaching back, I rest my hand on Ellie's leg in the back seat. "Are you alright, El?"
She moves her tiny hand to sit on top of mine. "I'm okay. Who was that?"
Her curiosity doesn't surprise me, Ellie always wants to know what's going on and who is a part of it. I close my eyes for a second, thinking about the best way to explain what just happened.
"Those are men that want to get pictures of daddy, and apparently us now."
"Why?"
My eyes flash to Shawn who sits next to her. "Well," I pause. "Remember at daddy's shows, all those people came to watch him sing? People really love him."
"I love daddy," she smiles.
"Me too, babe," I smile back. "So anyway, lots of people love daddy. Lots of people know him, and they want to know about him and his life. But sometimes, people like those men get paid to take photos of daddy so other people can have them. Does that make sense?"
I can see her trying to make sense of everything I just said, and I know that it was a lot to try to understand at three years old, but Harry and I have made it a rule to be honest with her and try to explain things as well as we can even if they might not make complete sense.
I glance to Shawn to see an approving nod from him, telling me I did alright in explaining paparazzi to her.
"But daddy isn't with us?" She questions.
I wince, how am I supposed to answer this question when I don't even know the answer myself? "Yeah, I think maybe they thought he would be with us, and then they wanted pictures of you and me and Rome instead."
"Hm.. okay."
"It's kind of confusing, isn't it?" She nods her head. "I know, but you don't need to worry about it. Me and daddy and Shawn have it covered. Sound good?"
"Sounds good!" Her bright little smile is back, and that's enough for me.
Once we arrive home, Shawn offers to stay and help me put the kids to bed, but I assure him that I've got it covered. He ends up helping us carry all the bags up to the door, waiting patiently as I punch in the code to unlock the door.
Stepping through the threshold to Max and Lila's house, I expect to feel some sort of relief to be home. I've always been a kind of a homebody, loving the feeling of being in my own place that I'm used to where I can be myself.
This doesn't feel like that at all.
As I bring the bags into the entryway and living room, I can't help but notice how cold and eerie this place feels after being gone for a week.
Ellie runs through the house to her room to say hi to all of her stuffed animals, but I just stand there, trying to figure out how the fuck I'm going to make this place a home when my actual home is across the world.
In a house full of stuff, it's never felt more empty.
______________
officially mom & dad
next chap is where things go awry. catch you on the flip side.
ky <3