Forced Reconciliation

83.

3 MONTHS LATER // DECEMBER 26, 2022

ROME, ITALY

Andi Styles

"Why won't you tell me where you're taking us?" I laugh as we all settle into the car. Harry puts the car in reverse and places his hand on the back of my armrest to look behind him as he backs out of the villa's driveway.

"It's a secret, Andi Louise. Do you trust me?"

Leaning over the center console, I kiss his cheek quickly. "Always, H."

Harry drives out onto the street, leaving the villa we've been staying in all week behind us.

We got to Italy just over a week ago. The day after that, my mom, Anne, Gemma, and even Max's parents all joined us so we could spend Christmas together as a family in one of our favorite places. We've had the best time since we've been here, and I've been trying to soak up every minute of it that I can before we leave in a couple of days.

It was important to both Harry and me that we made it back in time for New Year's Day so we could visit the cemetery to see Max and Lila on the anniversary of their death.

Spending Christmas here was one of our better ideas. Of course, there was a tiny part of me that missed our home during the holidays, but it was so nostalgic to be in the place that Harry and I met during Mila's first Christmas.

Everything has seemed so full circle this trip.

A few days ago, Harry tried to get us to go to the Trevi fountain and relive one of our favorite memories, but unfortunately, there's just no way we could make it work.

Harry's so much more famous now than he was back then, and the only time we could find a time to go where the crowds wouldn't bombard him would be early in the morning before the sun came up.

It's just too hard to leave Mila when I know she relies on me for everything, and I'm still not one hundred percent comfortable with leaving her alone just yet.

She's gotten so big in the last few months, and although I love that she's healthy and growing how she should, it breaks my heart to know that my baby is growing up.

Her dark hair has started to grow out more, and instead of being curly like we both anticipated, it's not at all. It's got just the tiniest wave to it, but that's about. Her eyes, now that they've developed enough pigment to hold color, are the prettiest light blue-green color that has a way of making me melt every time they stare back at me.

Mila's the happiest baby, but she knows exactly how to get whatever she wants. All she has to do is cry in Harry's presence and he's on his feet looking for the very thing to make her happy again.

I never thought that I could possibly love Harry more than I did a year ago on our wedding day. I imagined that to be the peak of my feelings for him, and I could hardly fathom a feeling stronger than what I felt for him as he promised to love me forever in Italian.

But here I am, and I can't even make into words how I feel about him now.

Watching Harry become a father to Mila while still parenting Ellie and Rome has made me fall in love with him all over again.

The tender little moments I've gotten to witness over the last five months have easily been some of my favorite moments of my entire life.

There have been moments when Harry will hear Mila begin to fuss in the middle of the night before I do, and I wake up to overhear a conversation he's having with our baby while he thinks I'm asleep.

"Daddy's here, baby," he coos softly at Mila. "Shh, we don't want to wake mum up. She needs her rest."

I'm awake, but I haven't moved at all. I've kept my eyes closed, not wanting him to know that there's a possibility that I'm listening in on his conversation.